The Cullens Begin
by tjcbunni22
Summary: The departure of Edward from Carlisle's family could mean that his daughter would have a life away from the dangers of their supernatural world but Olivia Cullen's insatiable curiosity would lead her to opening Pandora's box and unleashing long lost secrets and new dangers on her supernatural family.
1. Chapter 1

**UNDER THE MOON**

**Xx~xx~xX**

I hadn't realised I would lose either way; I was my own worst enemy. But knowing this fact had freed me, rid me of something hard and black-and I had only discovered this fact when I looked upon my saviour.

**Xx~xx~xX**

Her petite feet move in rapid taps over the hard cold passage; I can hear the swish of her robe, the cling of her chain as it rubs on her neck but most of all, it is Jane's thoughts my preternatural dual hearing hones in on.

It will be mere seconds before she arrives at my chamber for a night out in beautiful Volterra-she is a secret romantic, my jaded exquisite Jane. She needs reintroduction, for Jane is two intensities of the vampire I had once known before I had ever thought with convicted certainty that I would be in Volterra for eternity. Jane, half of a dangerous duet-but no less dangerous when she is solo, if not more dangerous without her twin 'Alec' to keep her in check; Alec's capacity to sense her irrational emotions is what stop's her from permanently harming minds with her beautifully terrible gift. She is ancient, even in her ethereal youth but I cannot fault her for being fourteen-it is only three years from my physical age, after all. Poor Jane and Alec have the misfortune of being so correctly built to their ages and lacking in the subliminal essence of adult hood. That is to say, where I can skip ahead and claim twenty-three, the dangerous duo is stuck in their impossible youth.

This does not bother Alec so much, it plays out to his advantage due to his _partiality _to his tastes, but poor Jane could never get over _almost _being a woman. And this thing she had never tasted-in her ancient mind fuelled by a mixture of childish tantrums and pubescent sorrow-it had made her nearly the most unhinged creature I had come to know.

Nearly; for she had now found a new half and we were twined in our distress-her and I, twins at the greatest magnitude united by the insanity of containing a broken heart.

Xx~xx~xX

She has already imagined where I would be positioned before she opens the oak doors; I would be lounging on a round magnificent bed with my hands tucked behind my head and legs crossed languidly over each other. This vision of me would be bathed in the warm glow of a hundred littered candles and a lustrous satin tint would be rising from the rich covers of the bed and velvet cushions, illuminating this cloaked quality in me that she was _convinced_ was seducing her. Our eyes would meet; her crimson to my blackened gold, and she would scowl at me naturally-how dare I coax such a pathetic emotion as infatuation from her 'Powerful Womanly Heart'.

Powerful Womanly Heart, oh Jane...! Her heart was neither there, nor was she any more a woman than she was a child-a heartless simple torturous ambiguity instead. Maybe in her empty chest, there was something, a passion hidden in her, and even if she did not know it-she feared it extensively. Her, her brother and most certainly Aro sensed this passion in her-and if I knew Aro as I knew him, he would have used it against her since her birth.

She opens the door and has the audacity to be startled when the room is bathed in darkness and not warm gold, shadows dancing miserably and bountiful as the small glow of the moon barely covers the perimeter of the tiny window, and it is there I stand frozen exuding melancholia of the highest quality.

"I had candles sent to you" she shuts the door slowly, grated by my continued woeful self but pleased that I had not disappeared into the Volturi's strange network of buildings that formed their empire. She swallows the little light hungrily with her eyes, preternatural night adjustment if you may; and I watch through her mind as she anxiously searches the scented butter milk candles out. They are in a corner, with a few of the silks and cashmeres, stacked indifferently on top of each other. She is hurt by this, but remains silent; grateful and irked further due to the obvious telepathic grace I give her mind. It really is a sign that my pride is not without intelligence and cleverness-I know better than to be pompous with _Jane_. At least, this is the only answer that she has come to on why I behave myself with her. I indulge her shirking the solitude that comes with being in 'Aro's family' and allow her to circulate around me-all because I fear her gift.

It is part of it, why I am in company with her second most to my self-not wanting to be on her bad side is about as shrewd as I could have ever managed on my second return to Volterra. The other reason I blame entirely on my telepathy and Carlisle. There was not one point in this quiet lonely hell of Volterra that I had wanted to find myself relating to her and understanding the circumstances that had caused her to be who she is now.

"I have not found use of the candles as yet" I tell her, not looking away from the giant moon. I am irritated with her for coming here tonight; I had wanted to drown in my thoughts, singing to the wind and wrapped up in my calming gloom.

"They are handmade" she tells me and then pauses to listen to the sounds of the corridor-mice, wind and pipes. We are too far off to be overheard as nothing but an inconsequential murmur. "Do you not like your room to be decorated? Alec likes you-" she pauses to scowl violently at that fact, hating how Alec is not weighed down by things like pride and insecurities with his affections "-I could ask him to decorate"

"Alec and I have different tastes" I say softly, a smile playing on my lips. This pleases her a little. "I like the way my room is"  
"It is three by two, Edward" Jane breathes twirling in the middle of the room and spreading her too sweet frangipani scent "There is only a boring single bed and an old table!"

"I have no space for anything else"

"Because it is a measly three by two!" she sighs.

"What I meant was..." I say slowly "I have no _need_ for anything else"  
"Hmm" she scowls at the east wall, small hands clenched in front of her and her thoughts a swirl of anger at what she feels was an impetuous response to her steadily desperate infatuation.

"Aro has begun contemplating seeing me now" I tell her softly. She stiffens, forgetting her silent sulking and half-hearted musings on just properly _forcing_ me into more lavish surroundings.

"Ha!" she scoffs elegantly, peering at me "It has only been what, six months...!?"

"Six months..." I say in awe, thinking of Azure-precious baby of Leah and Carlisle. I had a few thousand graphite sketches of her, a series of obsessive lamentations on how she would look like now. I had taken it upon myself to study children of that age, and if I had thought babies and toddlers the strangest creatures with their round faces, disproportioned limbs and torsos as well as ignorant lack of intelligence; I was now entirely enthralled and captivated.

Aro and I had been having a silent war, these six months-a war that had required no communication, no meeting besides his deliberate release of his thoughts and then his awaiting my reaction to his thoughts. I was partially pleased with out stalemate; he would ask me if I were comfortable and well settled-I would reply yes and shower him with praise on how generous he was. Then I would make my request, which he would meet; as a telepath, I needed my thoughts to be my own-surely he of all could understand.

There would be no problem, he would let me keep my thoughts for decades if needed, but one day-he would ask for them, and I would be too entwined with him and the Guard to ever dream of refusing him.

This would save Carlisle and his wife and child. I would have succeeded. Aro would meet with me soon, the before mentioned compromise would happen but Aro would throw his deciding factor at me-he would send Demetri to Carlisle on an unpredicted date, only because he was most _caring_ and needed to be sure his old _friend_ was truly 'well' and 'adjusted' to losing his son to the Volturi.

And it is from my reaction to this, which will decide my loyalty. Shunning comforts and lying languishing in my chamber only helped my cause with Aro, he could see then that I truly did not expect to see my family again and if I ever did see them, it would only mean that my fealty was severely engraved in Aro.

"He does this to prove to you how his desire for you is not of the extraordinary type" she says standing by my side and leaning forward on the toes of her flat pumps to get a view of the outside world "You wait six months so that you know you are nothing less than an executed business. A _well_ executed one at that"  
"He wants to break me, Jane. And you and I know that is the reason for my wait" I tell her but I don't mention the part about how Aro used to know me-how Aro had once pinpointed exactly what I was under this hard skin.

The old me would have been driven insane by such callous treatment, the old me wouldn't have put up with having his beauty and talents neglected in the down town parts of the Volturi's complex tunnels and buildings. The old me... the young me... the subliminally sinful me...

"Why are you smiling?" Jane asks softly, her little fingers touching the sill. She is still on her tiptoes, like a ballerina-a ballerina that will never tire of that awkward posture. She isn't really concerned like she used to be by my sudden laughter, or melancholy or frowning. She puts it down to being a telepath; so involved in the thoughts of others that my own thoughts always catch me unawares.

"I used to be so evil, before I came here" I tell her, still smiling. "I used to be so unintentionally bad, Jane. The inadvertently _worst_"  
"I am to believe that coming here, where every yearning and fancy is immediately attended to..." she says slowly, smiling through her pout and raising an eyebrow "Has made you _good_?"  
"You talk of such things as though the Higher Guard is permitted to participate in them-yearnings and fancy! Ha!" I laugh "Not you, not your brother... and not even Felix can be seen in such a disgraceful uncivilised manner. You are all required to hold yourselves with the 'utmost chary respect', to reflect your _masters_"

"You and I both know we have ways to go around that!" Jane stated in her odd ridged tinkle "Alec gets his lovers, Felix... well; _you_ would know what _he_ gets up to better than I and everyone else has their needs met!"

"Then it leaves you and I, Jane" I whispered and she stiffens when a thrill spreads over her at the exclusivity I set out for us. "The last truly gracious and sacred High Guard"  
"As lovely as your ambition is..." she laughs "You have not been sworn in yet and maybe Aro delays because he thinks _telepathy_ is not as free a ticket into the High Guard as originally anticipated be some?"

"Or maybe he wishes to make the _telepath_ the leader of the High Guard, as originally _feared_ by some?"

A pause, I swallow as her thoughts play out-the wind is moving with quick velocity outside, not violent and aggravated, just excited; casting smells and sounds about. I groan low, a hiss-I am on my toes just like she stands by the window, my body filling with boiling water. It is a pain that hurts as all of them are, but she is kind these days. It doesn't kill me and reawaken me like they used to, her little glares. She releases me and I lean heavily on the sill by her, breathing unnecessary breathes with quick harried force.

"I apologise!" I rasp, groaning low "I meant no threat!"

"Apology accepted" she says with difficulty. "Maybe you can take a walk with me and tell me of your youth-those few moments you remember, maybe a time when you were... about my age?"

"I barely remember..." I start, about to decline being out with her when the night was so dark and empty-that fear of her back now, tenth fold. I was never truly allowed freedom to explore the city; I had only been out at night once before and I was permitted to watch the bustling humans in the park from the east tower, three hours away from my current chamber. It was all a difficult trek, moving through secret passages with their guards and needing Jane's _sympathies_ for this...

I want to decline but she tenses, now that she has used her gift-she has no qualms on doing it again.

"I barely remember, but I am sure it will come to me as we walk" I tell her quickly and she sighs heavily, casting me a dejected look (that still manages to be threatening) before stepping quickly to the door-and after a brisk jog to the window, she springs into the night.

I move away, and watch as she flies through the window and into the calm night and when I look down-she is standing impatiently seven stories below. I reach her with little effort and she glowers at my refined landing. I am impetuous, she shouts in her mind. I am arrogant, she rages. I am too beautiful and lovely, she sighs.

"Let's go through the city first" she states, already moving up the cobbled roads. "Tell me what a young man would get up to in the city, in your time"

Xx~xx~xX

I remember being extremely competitive. Jane is not surprised by this fact; it is part of my arrogance she decides-a catalyst she thinks. Competitiveness led the way to my evil apparently, but assumptions are for the arrogant-and she is _very_ arrogant I realise as I prattle on with half lies and inconsequential substance of my human past. This study she has made of me, grates me intensely because the me she knows and understands-that they all do, including Aro and subsequently Carlisle and the family I have now lost-that old me has long been thrown to the past. Whoever said a vampire's personality was an intensified version of his human self and could not be altered to anything other than what it was set into in our resilient coating, whoever said this had not understood the ways of love and the things that branch off from love.

Carlisle had been changed by Leah; I had seen this, everyone had seen this. He was no longer unsure of the emotions he used to classify as negative but he now allowed them to run their course, be it anger and rage, lust and selfishness. Rosalie... not a lot of change in meeting Emmett, but I suppose it was there... _somewhere... _buried deep or shallow enough. Love, it changes us. Or maybe with vampires it only merges with who we already _were_... intensifies our _old_ human selves in a good way, past what the venom could achieve.

But what I had gone through when I met Azure's eyes was too concentrated, too copious and precious to ever be labelled and analysed with the conclusion coming to fall on _love._ Love was but a feeble emotion, a ghost in the face of what I felt.This had to be _more_, and maybe that is where the old me surfaced-had I become narcissistic about my _Azure?_ Goodness, she had to be the apex of everything! The answer to all questions and the inspiration behind all philosophies; she was water, and were we not fish? Was she not the being that was born to wash away the sins I had committed against my father, against Carlisle? I had been so sure I would be filled with either hate or indifference towards her and instead I felt something that was not the third -not love-but a fourth and exclusive emotion greater than all.

"I wasn't really interested in girls in my human days" I tell Jane "I was interested in glory, fame and honour"

"You are seventeen" she states more to herself than affirming with me "So back then, at seventeen... in the early breath of the nineteen's, you had no sweet heart? It was a beautiful time I think-I have seen the books and researched"  
She has researched the era after her attention for me had trebled. This makes me uneasy-not only the knowledge that Jane has two extremes; intense dislike and obsession, but the fact that she did not participate in life or take much joy in her immortality like most vampires do at some level. While Alec snuck out of the Guard and flirted his way to fun times, she stayed behind... brewing hatred and bitterness. Seeking only the attentions of Aro, being manipulated by this need to be needed and now, here she stands before me.

Pretty perking womanthing behind such a scene as the moon dipping over the high shops-in her red cloak with the sleek black dress beneath it and black sparkling flat pumps. There were not nearly enough Azure's to fix such damned creatures as Jane and I.

"About your sweetheart..." she sighed, breaking from her memory of viewing the nineteen century from behind a window or through narrowed eyes-wishing everything would _burn_, but this hate she felt was not only for my time, to be fair. She hated _all_ the times, not a single one of it was to her liking. Ostentatious and elegance or was it simple and quaint, she hated them all!

Narrowed waists and bosoms flowing freely, hair long and waved or held in pins-chivalry or ogres; it didn't matter to her if it was the French renaissance or the Beatles stirring hearts; it had only highlighted that she was underage for all of time.

"I didn't have a sweetheart" I tell her.

"Come now, you had to have had one" she insists. "A girl...? Tell me it wasn't a _boy_!? Most vampires with a preference for boys in their humanity are more drawn to that in their vampirism!"  
"What consequence does that have to you what I am more partial to...?" I ask her daringly. She growls low and I feign bravery and ignore it.

"Nothing, it just would have been such a boring mystery to uncover to that conclusion!" she lies casually-if I had no telepathy, I would have never known. I am aware she is getting exceptionally good at hiding her thoughts, but this will only be a problem later on-and later on, it may not matter so much. Only I know that I am not going anywhere. That this is it, for all of eternity and I can only hope that the vampire world stays as singularly isolated and well behaved as it has been for the past century-I had no feeling for violence of current, in my little bliss ball of Azure.

"I had no preference for boys back then" I sigh, closing my eyes and letting her lead me through the dark high town streets of fashion-I immediately miss Alice and I am grateful Jane last thought of clothing and refinements along these lines, a few decades ago. It would be hard for her to re-establish herself into the current times as present, and it was endearing that she was even attempting it.

"But you were of a _sexual_ age?" she asks softly.

"And are you so certain you are were not?" I laugh at her veneration with the turn in topic, when _she_ had been through a few things with Aro and yet was bashful of her interests. I hated how drenched in Carlisle and drowned in Azure I had become. It had now caused me to reach a point were I understood that neither her nor Alec had fully grasped what they were brought into when being 'treasured' by Aro. She can not claim she had been virtuous before she had joined the Volturi, because her turn to sin of this nature had been of the natural kind. Guaranteed her physical exposure had come within the confinements of vampirism but she had been exposed in private; coy thoughts of a prepubescent human girl mingled with confused feelings and self exploration, were these not enough to lead the path?

"Yes, but I was a girl and that _isn't_ the point!" she snaps, eyes flashing.

"Are you saying you aren't a girl now?" I tease her and her anger softens-it was always a fifty-fifty chance with Jane, on how she would take humour. Her temper had become better with time, but it was still gratingly because of her increasing obsession with me. And I had no other choice than to play to it, because until I met with Aro-it was under her protection that I was not _harassed_. A harassed vampire is a limbless vampire...

"Would you not answer me, Edward?" she asked exasperated "Why do you do this, play games constantly!"  
"You should try it" I tell her "Play games, not be so serious all the time"

"Games get you in trouble"  
"Games will teach you fun!" I tell her, but I indulge her in the end; calling upon the blurring image of some golden haired beauty that I always feared looked like Rosalie and may have fuelled my bitter sweet relationship with Rose "Well, I _may_ have been infatuated with a girl once, I think I _may_ have been seventeen or sixteen actually. I am not sure how much I liked her and I fear it was a shallow variety of infatuation-her aesthetics would compliment mine, that sort of thing. I am more or less certain she was involved in my reasons to go to war; to please her and my father. Kill two birds with one stone"

"You sound much the same as you are now" Jane states humoured.

"Hmm, interestingly... I have never told anyone about her or that fact" I murmur "I wouldn't have. No, I don't think I would have wanted it getting back to a certain vampires ears"

"Were you intimate with her" Jane asks carefully, ignoring my musings and charging ahead to her real curiosity.

"No" I tell her stonily. "Not with her, not with any other girl"  
"Even your Isabella?" she asks.

"I would have killed Isabella if I were such a barbaric creature so full of hormones and lust, you know that" I say in the same coldness. She ignores it and presses.

"Aro suggested to Caius once that you were madly in love with Carlisle, such an unrequited sad but powerful love"

"Sometimes, it is as if Aro knows every thought a person has ever had" I say airily and watch her from the corner of my eye, as she struggles fighting of a smile and a frown at the same time. Strangest creature...

"Is it to say he saw true in your every thought?" she asks me. We are by the little bridge, built by humans and designed by Marcus's late wife. It is elegant and simple; the river pushing below it is wide enough for boats but not big enough to be grand and majestic, only sweet and lovely. She skips over it, and like always-I compare the movements of a human blood drinker to that of a _truly civilised _vampire. Jane is a cat in almost every preternatural grace, she does not try to pretend or fidget. The only reality in Jane's cat-like grace is that most beings would think her a house cat (deceptive little thing she was, but really she was as elusive as a leopard and just as ruthless).

"It is to say, he made my every thought turn true to his prediction" I corrected her "He planted the seed, and it grew wild and dangerous"  
"Then it is Carlisle that holds your heart for all time!" she exclaims with joy-better him than Aro. She couldn't bear how she so obviously may never have me, but what really would hurt her and would be intolerable was to lose Aro -and if the two became entwined (Aro and I), she would rapture but not die. She was too precious for Death, Aro had long warned her and I feared he would warn me too. We would be twins, since Alec was not cohesive to our pain-and united in this fact; precious tormented jewels of Volterra.

I watch her standing by the little island over the lake, with its single tree and the moon behind it. Once again, she is in a picture painted by a gifted artist. Little deceiving angel. I skip over to her, and she watches me with just as much curiosity; I laugh when she thinks I am like a cat too. Easy description for all vampires, we were all some form of cat or other and I may have been cheap with her when I study her. I am always cheap with Jane, but better I give _something_ than nothing. Indifference would be too much a price to pay, in the end.

"No one holds your heart?" she asks softly, watching me in confusion as I sit by the base of the ancient tree. I don't need to sit, but I do-and this is her confusion. Just like I didn't need the single bed, but I had it. I was more human than I should be, she feared-and if not for her, I would have had that humanity stripped out of me with titanium knifes and the pieces kicked to my body and reattached to something malformed.

"My sweet, but I have no heart to give to anyone!" I tell her and she pulls her expression into a pinch.

"You are too familiar with me" she states. I lean back onto my back and tuck my hands behind my head-a posture she had imagined me in an hour ago. I look at her but remain silent. Her hair is pale and blowing over her half cherubic face, her eyes are gleaming burgundy and her pale lips are quirked in confusion and irritation.

"Now, how can I not be familiar with you when we are the only two people on this here island?" I ask her. "I say, title of endearment is considered personal with you Jane but not lusty kisses...?"  
That was strike two, and I am pulled viciously down by gravity and flattened on my back while a steam iron rolls over my back. She releases me almost immediately but this time I laugh exhausted, struggling through imagined pain to get up.

"I am not your sweet!" she hisses.

"You are Aro's, I know!" I breathe.

"Aro won't be kind about you putting such things into my mind, into my memory"

You put them there first, I want to tell her. But I want to return to my chamber now and gaze on my sketches in peace. Even if she told him or showed him what she imagined, he wouldn't care. And that was always the sad part about Jane's loyalty-Aro only cared to a certain point, the rest; this other love she had pushed herself to develop and imagine... it was not there. If it ever had been, it had long run its course as curious things do with Aro.

"Then I'll stop with my games" I tell her, rising up and dusting my pants "I seem to be the one getting all the trouble, while you get all the fun"  
"What fun!" she snapped indignantly.

"Well, no discussion to be had!" I tell her sternly "I will stop now, Madame-and bother you no more with my musings. I am, as all the other Guards think-insane and most likely to be executed within the turn of the decade"

She stares at me in confusion, and then looks across the river from where we came from. "Do you wish to return, Edward?"  
"Yes, Madame"

"Fine" she had already skipped across and was running through the streets.

Xx~xx~xX

She takes me to a larger chamber; there I can smell humans so freshly. It was only recently decorated by them, I suspect. It isn't a negotiation and she is nervous about Aro wanting to meet with me soon-she wishes to make me her unannounced pet, and Aro could put a dent in that. I am grateful and angered by Aro so suddenly, for if it wasn't the twisted involvement she had with him were he was the owner and master of her gift and body, I would be forced past her previous toying with me into being more intimate. Bites and prods under Aro's command were much more easily forgiven in exchange for this civil protection she was now offering.

Jane and her violent loyalty to Aro, even though this ultimate lover of hers has not seen her past her gift for fifty years-and her loyalty is truly all the more aggressive because it was Aro who made her, and she pledged fealty to him from the moment she opened her red eyes. It may have been different for some of the guard, but the spell was on them too. It would fall on me with time too; I could feel it working already-slowly so it could reach into the marrow of my bones. Why else was I so at peace when I should be breaking down and dying... maybe I had accepted it all so fully and irrevocably.

We would all be united to him, and maybe then-Jane's nightmare would come true and she would never have me, and Aro would be too entranced by me to care for her ever again. All of us, under the moon-under Chelsea's gift.


	2. Chapter 2

**LITTLE CHILDREN**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"Did you call Leah for the meet up?" Seth asked again. I had to take in a breath before I answered him, trying not to let the fact that this was the fourth time in thirty minutes that he was asking me that, trying not to let it fire me up. He was worried for Leah because he was her real brother and unlike me, he didn't know exactly _how_ much Leah Clearwater could handle because all his sibling coddling got in the way.

"I called her in the morning Seth" I said slowly, watching as he attempted to sneak a spoon loaded with yellowish mash into Olivia's mouth. She gave him a 'You aren't serious?' look and whacked the spoon out of his hand, sending the food flying through the air and disappearing to some once clean surface.

"Argh, Olivia!" Seth groaned standing defeated by her baby stool (that she was crammed in), his lower lip jutting out. He droned her name out into four parts (oh, lee, vee, yaa!) and frowned at her. She looked up at him startled, seemingly surprised that he should take offence from her action and then she gave him one of her small little shy grins that could crumble mountains. "Kid, come on... its butternut, you like butternut!"

"She is too old for that stuff, Seth" I sighed "Give her some pizza"  
"Pizza?!" Seth howled, staring at me with bulging eyes-he really shouldn't be allowed to do that; his eyes, Leah's eyes and consequently Olivia's eyes were already ridiculously large. "She is six months! Pizza...? That's the best suggestion my Alpha can give me...! You aren't helping with her addiction to junk food, what am I going to tell her parents when they see their daughter and she is as round as the earth!" he was now waving his hands theatrically over his fuzzy head, having some sort of Clearwater breakdown and Olivia misinterpreted his frustration for a private circus show for herself and began squealing and clapping her hands in delight.

"She can walk Seth" I sighed, placing the newspaper down when no strange disappearances were broadcasted from Forks. "She can actually feed herself if she wanted to, she just likes being babied"  
"Because she is a baby!" Seth sulked, oblivious or ignoring Olivia tugging at his hand, wanting him to give her another 'lap-dance'. He looked at Olivia and asked "You're a baby, right Lee?"

She shook her head vigorously and slumped in her chair, pouting and scowling-she was still hungry and now irritated at having her game ended.

"See that flower dress she has on?" I asked him and he raised an eyebrow to the importance of this. "It's for three year olds Seth"

"I bought her clothes for three year olds Seth" I told him sternly. "I told Carlisle and well, he is freaking out... they all are. Alice said that that vampire spy of Victoria's is not with the Volt... the err..."  
"It's Volturi" Seth said absently, absorbing the information.

"Yeah, _them_..." I sighed "We can't go to Alaska, we got to go somewhere hot and sunny-and that's were we'll meet up with Leah"

"You hear that, Olivia" Seth cooed but Olivia wasn't having it, her lower lip trembling and eyes narrowed at Seth "We are going to meet mummy! Remember, you spoke to her on the phone..."  
"Leah spoke and you gurgled, kid" I chuckled but Olivia's eyes had begun watering up. "Seth, give her the pizza..."  
"Pizza is not..." Seth had started his health rant but Olivia let out quick breath, took in another whistling inhale and ended in a high pitched shriek of hunger. "Give me the damn pizza quickly, Jake!" Seth hissed.

Xx~xx~xX

She wouldn't stop crying and eating. Between bouncing her in my arms and alternating with Seth to feed and calm her, I think I lost some weight. We were in Port Angeles, not so far from the rest of the pack but far enough that Sam felt comfortable to allow two wolves to check in us. A compromise, because no matter how cute Olivia was... she looked too much like Carlisle. Too much like a Cullen, just enough to remind us that her dad was a vampire.

Her hair was liquid black and skin resembled Seth's-not pure russet like Leah's but tinged in gold-like creamed honey, but even then she couldn't pass as a full Quileute, just something beautifully exotic. It was just her features that gave her away as Carlisle's little girl; her mouth was full in a Leah-like-way, but the shape was distinctly Carlisle, her eyes wide in a Clearwater way, but when she smiled they were Carlisle's eyes and when she frowned she was... Leah. Sue had said that her features would change, leaning to one side and then to another side as she grew and filled out into herself. We could only hope that she would somehow find the equilibrium between Carlisle's shining kindness and Leah's ruthless passion.

But she was growing too fast.

Seth and I hadn't realised she was shooting up so quick, Carlisle didn't blame us-it was something that we would not have picked up until after time had moved substantially. What Carlisle was afraid of, what Leah feared to the point of insanity-was that Olivia would be an old woman in a few years.

"Give her the salad too, then we can say she had a healthy meal" I sighed watching as Olivia sat with her almost empty plate of food between her legs, in nothing but her diapers now, filling her mouth with potato wedges and shooing Seth's wondering hand trying to wipe her cheeks with a wet wipe.

"Pass it to me?" Seth reached his hand out and I passed him the salad. "But I mean, she could choke on it... kids don't really like greens..."  
She didn't give him a chance to finish, sighing heavily and pulling the bowl to her, immediately getting to work on the lettuce-her white perfect little well formed teeth glinting dangerously with each munch.

"She is burning up" I sighed touching her little back-her temperature was only slightly cooler than my own. Her chomping filled our tensed silent for a moment-Olivia's fevers had happened three times since she was born; once when she had been born, another time at Sue's when her violent shuddering had convinced Sam that she was 'turning' and a third time at Billy's and we had had to alternate between snuggling her in a wet towel and cuddling her all through the night with our own heat.

And it was then, I had discovered after much analysing-that Olivia grew the most.

She pushed the empty bowl next to her empty plate and gave Seth a tired look before shivering lightly. Seth immediately wrapped her in her blanket and picked her up carefully. She hiccupped and groaned a little and then whimpered in discomfort when he handed her to me. It was going to be a long night.

"Are your sure about moving tomorrow?" Seth asked "She won't be up to it?"

"We have to" I whispered bouncing on my feet and trying to soothe her soft cries. She clung to my neck, her heart thudding gently and breathing coming out in wisps. "Did you try that Medicine Carlisle said to get?"  
"You and I both know that that stuff doesn't work on her" Seth said sternly, his eyes grave. "Its night time, maybe she needs some cool air-this apartment is stuffy"

"You want to take a walk, Olivia?" I asked her and she snored before resuming her soft whimpering. She was asleep, in an uncomfortable queasy slumber. "Okay, you can nap and Seth and I will push you through the park, okay?"  
"I'll get her pram" Seth skipped to her bedroom, I watched as he opened the door and the pink colours of her room glowed and then he re-emerged pushing her large designer pram. "I'll push"

"In you go..." I told her, a habit Seth and I both had-talking to Olivia irregardless of whether she was awake, could understand or was paying attention. She had obviously grown; the pram was not nearly enough for her to fit in, her legs dangling lazily. I strapped her in, tucking her cashmere blanket around her and pulling her purple blanket over her too.

Sometimes I don't know what Seth and I expected from Olivia, heavens knows the first two months had been terrifying and maybe if she was a normal human baby things would have been worse. I am more than certain they would have been worse because Olivia knew how to be 'agreeable' in a way that was definitely too intelligent for any child. It didn't hurt that she skipped the teething phase either...

Xx~xx~xX

The night was cool and the park sparsely filled. Olivia had drifted further into a deep sleep, occasionally groaning and sucking on her pacifier.

"I don't think I like the idea of moving to a hot place" Seth sighed. "I don't think I like being away from my mother..."  
I forgot at times that Seth still needed his mother, that Seth hadn't yet known how to move without a mother as I did-and I had ashamedly forgotten how he needed a mother because of how easily he had fallen into caring for Olivia when I had been more panicked at the prospect of it. I wanted to offer him the chance to remain in La Push, maybe I could go at this alone-spend the year with Olivia, trekking the land until we were certain she could be returned to Leah safely. _Certainty_ was what Leah put foremost to everything, not her yearning and not Carlisle's yearning-it was all about Olivia's safety. And if Leah Clearwater could put that above all else and be away from her child, it made me realise exactly how truly merciless the hidden vampire world was.

"I don't expect you to like it" I told Seth and he sighed looking over to a bench with two teenagers glued by the mouth. "I don't expect you to do it, if you don't..."  
"What are you on about, Jake!" he breathed, disarming me with his wide sceptical stare. "I am just saying I don't like it, but I am not saying I have no confidence in this, in going with Olivia-with you!"

"You are young, Seth" I told him "You have school to consider and you know, life"  
"And what, you aren't young?" he asked frowning at me "You don't have school and life?"  
"Yeah, but I mean... I wasn't going anywhere with it" I sighed, rubbing my arm "I wasn't any brilliant kid, my mum died when I was too young and I don't have what you have"  
"What do I have?" he asked-demanded.

"A family"

"A family...what?" he asked stiffly. "That you are all alone? Is that what you walk around thinking?"

I nodded and he took in an angry breath.

"I owe the people I have greatly Seth" I croaked "Everything, I mean... your mum for helping out with Billy, even Sam... And Carlisle and Leah..."

"You are an idiot" he growled, pushing the stroller faster.

"What's your problem?!" I asked, startled and half skipping to catch up to him and Olivia. "How is this about you? This is my problem!"

"Your idea of family is fucked up" Seth snarled, stopping abruptly. "Sam is your family; Sue is your family... and guess what! If I have vampire in-laws it means you have vampire in-laws too! You are so...Argh! The whole point of being a wolf is being in a pack-that's how we are stronger, and that's why Sam couldn't even be a total prick and had to let Quil and Embry come over and visit! And you Jake... always running off to be on your own, always trying not to be the Alpha or whatever"

"Seth..."

"What am I?" he glowered at me "Chopped liver?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" I stressed but he laughed derisively.

"You don't know how you meant it" he snapped, walking again.

"I care about you...!" I began and he paused, slowing slightly before failing to resume his previous quick step "I mean erm... you... and Olivia... we are..."

"A family" he finished coolly. "Glad you got it, Jake. This isn't a mission or battle, its just..."  
"Two guys looking after a kid" I finished smiling a little.

Xx~xx~xX

The plan changed suddenly and this was no surprise, as vigilant as Leah wanted to be-she was impatient and needed to see Olivia badly. Just how she and Carlisle managed to bump Rosalie for the impromptu visit was beside me and Seth, but they came unannounced at four in the morning.

"You made us wait so long-we knocked twice!" Leah said in her high pitched voice. She was cradling Olivia carefully, done crying and demanding we hand over all her growth spurt charts. She and Carlisle were sitting by our dodgy couch, gazing at Olivia like the jewel she was.

"They knocked twice" I nudged Seth in the ribs and he snorted. "Heavens forbid it get to three..."

Carlisle was moving between studying my badly drawn grade three charts conveying Olivia's growth spurts and staring at his daughter. He was distant, his eyes hard-the news of Edward's departure to the _enemy_ showing in his every fibre and his intense care for Leah and Olivia. Vampires were cold monsters without hearts-Carlisle Cullen was going against every fact of that, asking how Seth and I were managing, handing us a book about kids-apologising profusely for the predicament-and then bringing up the dreaded 'school' topic.

"I want to know were Carlisle learnt to pick a lock!" Seth asked "It's like the pope farting or something... outrageous notion..."  
"You two sleep like the dead!" Leah snapped, not bothering to look at us and showering a sleeping Olivia with kisses.

"The dead don't sleep" Carlisle murmured, signing some papers and shuffling documents in quick blurring motions "Trust me"  
"You aren't dead" Leah sighed wearily, like this was a topic they had already worn out and then rolled her eyes "The dead don't breed"  
"Let's not refer to Olivia in the context of _breeding_" Carlisle frowned, looking at Leah with the same amount of golden love that he gave Olivia. She smiled at him sheepishly-something between shy and a certain _knowing_ that I didn't want to find out about, and gave him a quick kiss before moving Olivia into his arms.

"So, you decided on a location?" Leah asked with a strained smile-her eyes fleeting between Seth and myself to Olivia and Carlisle.

"We are heading to..."  
"No don't tell us!" Carlisle said quickly, and Leah groaned "We shouldn't know. In case..."  
"Of course" Seth murmured watching his sister carefully. "Thoughts aren't safe"  
"We have mapped it through" Carlisle said with the same strained smile as Leah "And if news falls to Aro-whether from Edward..."  
"He went there willingly! That goddamned..." I growled and Leah shushed me

"It isn't what it appears, Jake" she whispered "He wouldn't betray Carlisle, not like that..."

"Not like _anything_" Carlisle clarified softly, glumly. "He wouldn't. He just wouldn't, I know he _wouldn't_" Carlisle breathed, looking at Olivia and I wondered if vampires could cry because that was what it looked like. Leah put her hand over his and he squeezed it gently, Olivia shifting a little in her sleep-snuggling closer to Carlisle's chest.

"Tell as about school, Jacob" Carlisle asked, looking up at me. I blinked in confusion and looked at Seth-school had fallen out of the plan almost immediately when we realised what we would be doing.

"With Olivia with us..." I began and Leah snarled.

"Jake, look... sure, I thank God I have you as my Alpha every day" Leah said "but do you think I want an _illiterate_ Alpha"  
"Dude, I can read!" I snapped.

"What Jake and I have come to..." Seth took over "Is that I would go to school and then he would go to school _after..._ I mean, we are immortal. And besides, no one knows the future anymore. Things could change?"

Carlisle mulled this over and nodded once to Seth while I stood awkwardly, angry with myself for being such an idiot. "There was something that we had to talk to you about..." Carlisle said carefully looking at Leah briefly "Well, the tracker-Demetri, he would know my mind and could find me easily. I had said Leah should go with you two... we aren't sure how he fairs against the minds of Shape-shifters, we doubt he has ever encountered any"  
"And I wont leave Carlisle" Leah said tentatively, looking at Olivia. "Because... we will all be together again-soon"  
"Yes, we will" Carlisle breathed "And the fact is, Victoria's man saw Leah and knew there was a child. He can identify Leah, and even then... Edward will have shown enough about Leah and I to give Aro the ammunition to do what he has wanted to do since I first met him-break me. There is no reason that Edward would think that Olivia would be given to her Uncles... you see, and because of this Aro will never know of you"  
"She would be safest with us" I whispered. Although this was what we had been coming to all along, having the facts and certainty laid out made hope seem so... real. But it also showed how much danger Carlisle and Leah would have pulled to themselves, to save Olivia-to keep her hidden.

Leah nodded stiffly, smiling sadly.

"And I think-I pray more and have faith..." Carlisle said slowly, looking at my colouring in of a medical chart "There is no reason that she should be an old woman by six years of age-heavens, both her parents are immortals, how could her mortality become halved then! I will analyse her blood again, and you will send me another chart when you arrive to your new home?"

"How will you find us if we don't tell you were we are going?" I asked him.

"You will have to find me, Jake" he smiled sadly, looking at Leah indicatively and rising from the couch. Leah remained seated for a second, then rose stiffly and took Olivia from his arms. They both kissed her for almost five minutes, spreading quick kisses all over her face. Olivia started then, opening her eyes groggily and blinking dumbly at Leah.

"Baby!" Leah cooed, kissing Olivia's nose. Olivia gave Leah one puzzled look before delivering her sun-rise smile and laughing like Leah had said something exceptionally funny. She sneezed once and Carlisle tensed, peeking at her in raw fear before relaxing when Olivia began smiling again, sleepily looking between both her parents. They told her repeatedly that they were her parents, how much they loved her and she soaked it all in, curled between her parents in a ball of impenetrable love.

"Olivia!" Carlisle cooed, holding his daughter's small tanned hand in his pale one and shaking it playfully "You are going to be a good girl, aren't you...?"

She nodded deliberately and we all froze, my heart thudding in my chest. "Do you... can you understand me?" Carlisle asked and Olivia yawned widely, teeth beaming and tongue curled before her mouth pursed into a red rose. She didn't respond to this and instead began studying Carlisle's fingers with intense concentration before pulling them to her mouth. Carlisle looked up at Leah-they shared a look-and then he yelped when Olivia bit him abruptly.

"Ow!" he gasped startled, surveying his finger. Seth laughed, but I knew the implication already.

"Maybe she is having delayed teething or something" Seth smiled.

"She shouldn't be teething all over vampire skin" I whispered and Seth froze. "And besides, she has had teeth _forever_ now"

"Has she got venom?" Leah asked hurriedly and Carlisle muttered "No, thank God".

It took fifteen minutes for them to leave then, Leah and I knew all too well what Olivia having venom would spell for her, being half Quileute wolf. Kisses were given, our documents handed without being filled in so Carlisle's mind wouldn't be compromised and Leah and Seth shared their long hugs.

"Get over here, you idiot" Leah growled moments before they left, flinging her arms over me and hugging me too tightly-telling me right by my ear that she loved me and I should take care of her kid brother and baby as only I knew how to...

"Or I'll castrate you Black" she growled and then smiled (but I was unsure if she had been joking or not) "Behave... love you"

Xx~xx~xX

Olivia had spent most of the whole week sleeping, eating, crying and insuring Seth and I had a new foe after red eyed vampires-diapers. The drive was slow and long, Olivia's schedule happily accepted in its predictability. The first hour of our drive was spent arguing over the importance of having false ages claiming we were well over legal, and the perks of living alone with a load of cash.

"You cannot seriously be planning on bringing girls around Olivia!" Seth yelled, causing Olivia to snort abruptly-we both held our breaths, as though there was a fragile bomb in the back seat and when her soft snoring resumed we continued without missing a beat. "What would you be teaching her?"  
"That her Uncle has game?" I grinned widely and Seth turned an indignant shade of red, blotching all over his cheeks-this was where being a light skinned Quileute would be most problematic for poor Olivia.

"That her Uncle is a..."  
"Don't even say slut, Seth" I grinned cheekily at him "There is no such thing as a male slut"

"...no such thing yet" he mumbled.

"Is that a challenge?" I asked him and he huffed in his seat, harassing his seat belt-that he had strapped on of his own accord-safety first and all of that. "Because I am up for that challenge; becoming the first slut know to man"

He growled-wolf like-and glowered out to the moving outside world.

"What's your problem anyway?" I asked him. "You know I won't be like that... bringing strange women all around Olivia?"  
"Yeah, I know" he said but he didn't shift from his sulking mood for another hour, only asking me to stop by a service station to buy Olivia some sandwiches and apples.

Xx~xx~xX

"Olivia, you like the orange Doritos" I stressed but she pouted and stomped her foot.

"Not two months ago she didn't know how to throw a tantrum" Seth sighed and I gave him a narrowed look.

"Greatest mystery the world has ever known, how on earth Olivia learnt to throw a tantrum with you as her uncle" I muttered picking the blue ones and showing them to Olivia "How about these ones?"  
She sighed and rolled her eyes "Did you see that, Seth" I whispered nudging Seth "Leah... Leah... she's possessed Olivia!"

"Are you two okay there?" a thin guy asked, standing annoyed at the end of the aisle. He was the store attendant; his name badge said 'Stan' and his face said 'Nasal Irate'. "Before you even think about it, no eating before purchase"  
"Dude, the packet is closed?" I raised the blue packet of Doritos "We just trying to make sure she gets the ones she likes"

"Store policies, I have to abide and..." he began and I cut his on coming macho tirade by standing up and exhaling irritably. He surveyed me once, decided this was really not worth the trouble I was promising him and then changed his tone fast "Oh, I see... packet is closed! Erm, we have a special? Two packets of Doritos and a chocolate bar?"

"How about that" Seth asked Olivia "Chocolate, Doritos, Apples and sandwiches? Yum!"

"Cute kid" Stan said, pointing at Olivia and then using his two index fingers to sign unity, giving me a loaded look "You two erm..."  
"Don't even go there, Stan" I growled, glad Seth was preoccupied with choosing his own snacks-holding a basket full of liquorice and gummy bears, amongst other sugary things (Mr Health Freak snacked when stressed). Olivia on the other hand stood between Stan and I, hugging her bag of Doritos (they were the large ones and half her height) lovingly like one of her soft teddy bears and looking up at me with large clear eyes "Seth, come on... we are losing time!"

Xx~xx~xX

The house isn't small but it is nothing like what the Cullen's would have provided for Olivia. Seth highlights that I got this all together on my own and I try not to grin like a Cheshire cat at that. She has her own room, I have my own room-Seth insisted I take the ensuite-and Seth has his own space too.

We arrived in the dead of night with Olivia fast asleep; kid slept more than a wolf. It took fifteen minutes to get the beds and wardrobes up, the suitcases and the prepare Olivia's room. It was fifteen minutes too long for us, but after take out-it was worth seeing Olivia surrounded by her bears and cushions in her overly pink room.

"You got Leah's number?" Seth asked. I shouldn't have had her number at all, but I had delayed in discarding of the old phone. I took it out and flipped it open.

"You think we should call her?" I asked Seth and he frowned in worry "You think it wont be so bad?"  
"I don't know" he admitted "But it would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Wake Olivia" I commanded and he rushed up stairs. I followed him slowly, listening to the ring. Once, twice and Leah picked up panicked.

"Jake!" she breathed and I chuckled.

"Relax wolverine... I just wanted to let you know we arrived before I throw the phone away" I told her and she sighed in relief. "Do you want to say goodnight to a certain someone?"  
"You know I do" she breathed.

Olivia was sitting nestled in her blankets, rubbing her left eye furiously and giving Seth an annoyed look, her mouth set in a cross pout. She saw me and blinked, sighing and lower lip quivering in anger. Her tears would come soon, I had to be quick.

"Someone wants to say goodnight to you, Olivia" I told her, sitting on her left and pressing the phone by her ear. Seth was at her right, patting her hair gently.

"Goodnight my angel" Leah whispered and Olivia's eyes widened, registering immediately whose voice she was hearing. There was some movement and suddenly the acoustics at the other end changed, Leah had put the phone on loudspeaker. A chorus of deep tenors and tinkling bells rebounded softly "Goodnight Olivia, we miss you, we love you".

The phone echo stopped and Carlisle sang softly to Olivia, telling her how much he loved her and how much he needed her to be strong and brave and good.

"Olivia" Leah said in the end and Olivia blinked in anticipation "Mommy loves you so very much"  
"Mum...my" Olivia whispered, grabbing the phone from my hand and scuttling forward, listing intently. I heard Leah gasp at Olivia's first word.

"I love you Olivia Camille Cullen" Leah said in a moisture filled voice.

"Love you, Mummy" Olivia finished grinning pleased with her self. She kissed the phone and handed it back to me, crawling back into her nest of blankets and teddy bears and five seconds later, she was snoring.

Xx~xx~xX

"At least the television is up and running" I sighed, leaning back onto the cushion. We didn't have couches, not a single table but there were beds and a television, all a guy really needs.

"We need a refrigerator" Seth announced and I groaned, smacking my forehead. "And pots Black. How are we going to eat without pots?"  
"From take out boxes, duh!"

"Carlisle gave you the dietary book..."  
"Kid, I'll give you the money for the groceries and you can knock yourself out" I sighed "But what I don't get is why you harass me about cookies and lollipops when I know you got like a ton of sugar stacked in your cupboard"  
"That's for stress, you stress me out Black" Seth sighed, leaning back onto the floor, grabbing a cushion before flinging the remote at me "Press play, Alpha... my thumbs asleep already"

"Underworld" I sighed "Is this in memory of Leah and Carlisle or something?"

"I don't get you" Seth breathed, chewing his liquorice loudly.

"The werewolf and the vampire..." I asked him, watching as his eyelids drooped halfway, slurping his liquorice sleepily "They get it on _good_"  
"That's in the second movie" he mumbled.

"But that's not the point; they fall in love and have this baby..."  
"The baby lives" Seth grumbled, liquorice falling to the side of his face and sticking to his cheek "That's the point" he finished and in a second he was fast asleep.

He looked younger; he looked less troubled and ten times freer. Maybe if we managed to keep that for ourselves we could handle everything. Just be young; no hot babes or whatever just... us.

A low creak rebounded from above me.

"Seth!" I hissed but he didn't hear me, turning and the movement sending the liquorice into his hair, before he snored loudly. There was another creak and I got up. I gave Seth one last look before jogging up the stairs to Olivia's room. She wasn't in her bed, and I was already shaking until I saw her sitting still and calmly by her window sill, just staring out to the night.

My heart released painfully and I thought I felt light. I took a step inside her room, staring at her and trying not to let the image of her not being by the chaise under the window construct itself in my mind.

"Olivia!" I breathed "Honey, you should be sleeping..."

She pointed out to the night sky, to the stars littered over the black canvas. She took in a breath and let it out gloomily, snuggling by my arm. "You are looking at the stars?" I asked her and she shook her head gently.

She shuddered and gulped and sighed, her eyes still staring up at the stars-shining with unshed tears. "What's wrong honey?" I asked her "Do you miss your Mommy and Daddy?"

She remained silent-I don't know if I expected her to answer, she hadn't really spoken even though I had no doubt she could, her cool little hand clutching my arm and with her other hand she pointed out to the sky once more and whispered so softly "Pretty"  
"Pretty stars?" I asked her loudly, caught between grinning with pride and fear of the advancement of her clear pronunciation. "Are the pretty stars making you sad?"  
"No" she sighed annoyed that I couldn't understand her and looked at me sternly, pointing back out to the stars and saying with a little more verve and _Leah_ "Pretty!"

"Olivia... honey, you lost me!" I breathed "The stars are pretty? There is nothing but stars out there, honey"

"Pretty moon..." she whispered and smiled a little, yawning and her body relaxing. I looked out once more, but I already knew we weren't scheduled for a moon yet in these parts and for sure, there was nothing but twinkling stars outside.

"There is no moon, Olivia" I told her but she was half asleep, staring at the sky through narrowed eyelids. "Moon isn't out for another week in these parts, sweetie. Trust me, I _would_ know"

"Pretty Moon..." she sang to herself ignoring me "Pretty Blue, Pretty Moon..."

"I wouldn't say the moon is blue either, kid" I sighed, but then her humming droned out and was punctuated with a delicate snore but like always, her being asleep didn't stop me from talking to her "Maybe a white colour, like your daddy's skin, eh? Where did you even learn colours, Big Bird!? And they say television is bad for kids... most important thing to buy!"

Xx~xx~xX


	3. Chapter 3

**The Barter Priest**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**x**

The inside of the main building could be mistaken for an exquisite cathedral, and it was thus mistaken by many a dead human. Marble polished to a gleam in some areas and dusty worn antiquities littering other places, the very paint is priceless were it lays matted on walls. Beautiful portraits of vampires or beautifully ethereal humans are hung in intervals, and the large passage beneath me is constantly filled with the soft taps of human's going about their ordinary business in this hidden hell hole.

Today is a strange day. There are fewer humans and the ones that are present are all the 'most trusted' workers. I see more guard members moving about, their thoughts tense and revealing _some_ clues. There is a visitor, no actual face is shown but I am more than certain if it was anyone of consequence to me, I wouldn't be permitted with such unconcern to watch the giant oak doors leading into the Volturi Throne room.

"You will burn the doors down with such a gaze" Jane drawled, walking unenergetically towards me. I tilt my head slightly to her, not removing my eyes from the doors. I know Aro and the rest of his trio are not in there-but knowing that and knowing that all the dull excitement of the building is tied into that room has turned me to obsession to be inside there.

"Let me do _all_ the staring" she sighed, placing her hand on the balustrade, a breath from mine. "I hear I have an eye for it"

"You have been gone long" I tell her. She smiles wryly and surprises me when she voices out a fragile thought.

"Did you miss me?" she purses her lips to stop from smiling. I only respond with a smile because the truth wouldn't flatter or help any one of us now. She was back from the jungle, to retrieve someone and...

"You have gotten very good at shielding your thoughts" I chuckle when the rest of her trip is blocked by an intense concentration on the oak doors. She tries to burn the doors down, but her gift only works on things that have intellect-she knows this, of course.

"I have, haven't I?" she asks innocently, sighing gently and touching her hair.

"Was your trip eventful?" I ask her and she purses her lips, aware of what I am doing but enjoying the fixed attention regardless.

"Possibly" she smiles, guarding her thoughts. "What did you do to keep your immortality eventful during my absence?"  
"I painted" I tell her "I did a few sketches" and I snooped and snooped, and of course nothing was revealed.

"Sounds..." she sighed wearily "_Human_"  
"Hmm" I could naturally see were this was going.

"Yolanda tells me you were not in the hall the three times humans were provided?" she asks gently.

"Yolanda is very perceptive, for a human" I say dryly "Maybe when she is turned she will have a gift of sight?"

"The others say you never asked for kill to be delivered to you" Jane dropped all pretence of civility and her tone dripped with impatience "They say you scurry in lower chambers like a crab, snatching rats and other disgusting little beasts!"

"Firstly, I wouldn't dare approach another vampire for conversation without you here, and you _know_ that surely" I told her, trying to quell my temper-it had been given too free a range with Carlisle and his patience "And it was you who said that I could take my time"  
"You are taking _everyone's_ time!" she hissed and my head throbbed slightly, not enough to bring me to my knees but a satisfied quantity that my senses were scrambled by the unnatural sensation of a headache. "You are in the Guard now, _boy_!" she spat, playing on her centuries of eternity ahead of me "And I have been patient with you, haven't I?"  
"You have been most _appreciated_ with patience" my voice was parched, she didn't release my mind from the headache and I felt like I would cry. Maybe I was...

"I see you are having trouble with your pet?" Alec sauntered from the entrance to the balcony, his face unable to hide his amusement and Jane's fragile frustration increased.

"Jane?" I gasped when the headache turned into a migraine. She looked up at me, frowning and then comprehension hit her that my mind was still in her grasp.

"Oh" she said indifferently, releasing me and composing herself.

"He has a point, sister" Alec chuckled "If he had gone to any vampire, for anything at this point while you are away, he would have been met with hostility"  
"I am sure you would have assisted him, had he but asked you" Jane said coolly.

"He is a telepath, Jane!" Alec said slowly, as though talking to a simpleton.

"I know that!" Jane growled.

"Then he is aware that in this world, our world and truly Edward-it is now _your_ world" Alec smiled and I nodded my understanding "Jane, he knows that nothing is done for free here. If he had come to me, I would have wanted something and you may have been most _homicidal_ on your return to discover I got _there_ before you"

I shivered as an intense spike of loathing for Alec coursed through my veins. He watched me closely, daring me to reveal what contract he had just written out between him and I through him saving me from Jane's unhinged 'jetlag'. He wanted something, and it may be sexual-a commodity that vampires were always in deep shortage of, especially those in the stagnancy of teenage immortality. It may be sexual, but his thoughts were a flurry of movement with nothing settled and everything one big hypothesis-he saw something in the future, some elevation in title or ranking or an overturning of power, he prayed for change...

"Some things cannot be done for such low a price" I whispered and his eyes widened when I raised an eyebrow indicating in knew his secret desires. Such dangerous thoughts, especially on ones sister but we were all demons in hell, and I should learn not to judge so readily.

"For the greater good" was all he added to the matter and then he laughed away Jane's unease at our dialogue, waving his hand in the air as if to disperse the tension. "Jane, Aro wishes for your pet to be present in an hour. He has been in that shirt since he arrived, do something or risk having him being given to someone who knows how to look after stray things"  
"Go suck Felix" Jane said with such casualness it could have been a loving goodbye. Alec left, chuckling. He and Felix had nothing going on, of course-but what amused him was Jane's paranoia and wild assumptions and I understood him in that regard; if there was any danger to Jane, it was her mistrust and the way it fuelled her imagination.

Xx~xx~xX

"I like blue" I said, knowing full well that my likes and dislikes were of no concern to a wound up Jane right now.

"Wear the black" she stated "_We_ wear black"  
"You cannot even be _sure_ Aro wants me there to receive he guest with the purpose of introduce me as part of his guard" I said carefully, listening to her thoughts-praying something would be revealed. Nothing bubbled from her mind that could help me form a picture outside of Aro's strange detachment from me after he had been so cruelly intimate before.

This scared me.

"You need to relax" Jane sighed, watching as I unbuttoned the first six buttons of my shirt. "It may be shocking that the High Guard doesn't seem to manage to conduct themselves in the light of their masters..."  
"No surprise" I chuckled, tapping the side of my head. There were of course, a few other surprises; like learning of Jane's control on the elite convoy of Felix, Alec and Demetri was not met with loving arms by the three above vampires. The only unsurprising factor of that was in the _nature_ in which their steadily increasing dislike of Jane's control had grown-humans or vampires were bound to rebel on authority if it was constituted under terror and intimidation. What I knew, which was as valuable a piece of knowledge in my eternity in Volterra as knowing of Jane's infatuation for me, was that neither Alec nor Demetri or Felix had managed a tete a tete to work out a solution to their undisputed vexation under Jane's command. Alec being her twin, would never be included in these secret quandaries of resentment naturally, it would be the most logic conclusion to think the other evil twin would have pure love for his sister-and Felix and Demetri knew astutely that neither of them were powerful enough to attend their displeasure without a backing level of power.

But Alec wasn't losing his hold on his own psyche due to the pressures and frustrations of immortality and loneliness, like his worse half was. He was covering his own side, and if there was going to be change, and I was in no experience to argue with his intuition on change-then there was going to be a shift in power under the 'Holy Trio' of Aro, Caius and Marcus, as the three leaders decided on their own favourites and 'loyal servants'.

"I hurt you very badly" Jane says softly, her covetous young gaze chilling my skin as she scanned the bite marks along my ribcage. I am almost tempted to button up my shirt quickly and argue that we have not nearly enough time for me to change. "Let me help you?"  
"Hmm" I manage, dropping my hands and seething and spitting inside-I am left with four measly buttons, but of course I was too human-how dare I take fifteen seconds instead of three...

"You must have been very healthy as a human" her little finger hooks between the top gap of my shirt, from the bottom and with a resounding ruffle-she frees the button and exposes my abdomen. She swallows a sigh down when she sees the darker bronze hair crawling over my flat stomach. Another button and her breathing increases, the third button somehow requires unnecessary contact with my skin and I stop her, my hand holding her small one firmly.

"This is nothing like with Aro" I tell her and her eyes widen. "Jane... we are nothing like what was happening with you and Aro, do you understand me?"  
"Huh?" she blinks, her eyes fleeting from my face to my abdomen. Her dainty hand twitches in my hold and I am reminded of how much stronger she is in her age.

"You and I can be _confidants_" I tell her softly, but somehow her mind interprets my voice as lulling her hormones and I am thoroughly disturbed when her breathing does not calm, her eyes wide and red and innocent on my face. "You don't have to take something from me, if I give _you_ something. I don't have to be Jane, and you don't have to be Aro"  
"You speak of dangerous things" she whispers, her hand shaking in my grip-not from anger but anticipation "Such badly concealed accusations!"

"I was right you know" I release her hand and rid the last hole of the button, flipping the shirt casually on the chair "When I said you and I were the last sacred in the Guard"

"There is nothing sacred about you!" she hissed, but her anger is disjointed. She is hungry for the feelings she received from Aro, staring at my half naked form. "You think I don't know that Aro had his way with you?"  
"Could you be a sinner when you were not in control of your own actions?" I whisper. I could point out that what I underwent under Aro could not be compared as such an evil when juxtaposed with her. Her mind and emotions were so carefully constructed under their immature outline to condition the trauma into something loved and wanted. Where as I, so spoilt in this world by Carlisle, had thought of unwanted touches as heresy and rough kisses an abomination. Even when he had me by my knees, begging me to do what I had done to Carlisle... no comparison to poor cruel Jane could be accurately made.  
"Well, then!" she sang zapping towards me and pushing me back, throwing me on the bed before jumping on top of me and pressing me into the lush mattress, her tiny hands steely on my arms. I let her, I wouldn't fight her. She brings her face close to my own and breathes "If I did with you as I pleased, then you have no fear! You would be no sinner, for it would be under my cruel dictation?"

"Rightly so" I smile at her and close my eyes, forcing my body to relax under her "Do as you will!"

She hesitates and I feel her grip relax. Her hands come over mine gently, tracing my small finger until she reaches my index finger and I ignore the sensation desperately-more so because she is only curious, unaware of the effect and it was not recommended to my feeble control on her to allow her this. She touches my forearm and sighs-Aro is not nearly as built, she moans internally-and her touch ghosts over my biceps and chest till she stops by my jaw.

"You are right, Edward" she whispers into my ear "You are nothing like Aro"

"You have twisted my meaning" I tell her, meeting her eyes. She smiles sadly and then she positions herself right _over_ me, straddling my thighs. I ignore her insinuation with the movement and rise up, letting her sit in my lap.

"I don't think I have misinterpreted anything" she says "I think you are the one trying to twist everything. I am aware of my age, and I think it frightens you. But I have everything they have, these women; I have breasts and a vagina and you know better than anyone that Aro has made good use of them-as tiny as my breasts are and as wonderfully tight..."  
"Stop!" I hiss, glaring at her.

"I may be lonely" she tells me "But you are too, and maybe later you wont be so frightened of my youth when an eternity of solitude makes you brave... and desperate?"  
"There are other intimacies to combat being alone, outside of sex" I say slowly. She touches my face; as though I am the babe and she were not sitting comfortably in my lap.

"Is this something Carlisle taught you?" she asks "Some demonstration of a lesson, that he can do with out the closest of intimacies then you too, can follow suit?"  
I look away from her and she continues cruelly.

"Because what I heard was that your _impenetrable_ love, as platonic as it may have been was disrupted when all that loneliness of _flesh_ reached its zenith"

"Pass me the black shirt" I command and she laughs at my daringness but obliges in humour, skipping of me and flinging the shirt at me.

"Don't be so upset by me, Edward" she sighs. "I have no doubt of the type of confidant a telepath can be, and I have no doubt how truly powerful you would be able to reciprocate such sentiments if you were willing. But you and I both know you are unwilling..."  
"You don't know that!" I hissed. "I am most willing to be there for you, as that exactly-a friend of your mind and emotions!"  
"Then you are unaware of your own mind and self, Edward" she smiled so miserably, it turned into a sneer "You are unaware that your sentiments, and capabilities of reciprocation are _not_ under your own power. I can see it in your eyes with each second, you are missing something with such power and concentration that your attentions can barely be distracted to anything else"  
"Your mind and mouth are not in sync" I said stonily" You are not making any sense, what could distract me? My family? Hardly them, I have reconciled to the fact that I have a new family here. If you mean Carlisle then I can tell you I have acquiescent to that too. Possibly Isabella?"

"I doubt it" she spat. "Can you not tell that your sentiments, intimacies and love have been claimed and conquered? Maybe you are truly so cold, and maybe you truly are such a masterful actor that you could portray a distant being... maybe, but more likely not!"  
"I don't know how you can tell such a thing to be claimed and conquered if it were never given to you by me, to notice its departure!"

"I have been missing such an intangible treasure all my immortality, Edward" she sighed, disappointed when I was now fully dressed. "And I can spot from a mile away, I can spot it when it is absent or otherwise... preoccupied, as your sentiments are"

"Jane, you and I can be intimate friends" I say slowly. "You have been taught wrong about the nature of vampire intimacy"

"What is the meaning of the child you are constantly painting and drawing?" she asked and her thoughts slipped just a little.

"How can you think that of me!" I hissed. "A paedophile? You were hoping if I were that way I would be keener on you?"

"Tell me of the child then?" she asked. "That you can be so obsessed by such a thing?"  
"A long lost human memory of a little sister" I tell her and then add desperately "I found out that my family line lives through her"

"Hmm" she breathes, deciding I was lying but not pressing the matter further "It seems we have but five minutes? More than enough for you and I to understand some things about conducting ones self in the Throne room..."  
"No need" I snapped "I got it from your mind as is"

Xx~xx~xX

"Edward!" Aro is verve in the lifeless chamber, long robe swirling as he moves about the three thrones-ignoring Marcus perpetual bland disposition and Caius scowling. "I have been most occupied, so sinfully busy that I could not see you! How lovely it is for you to be here!"

He makes to hug me but I move back carefully and tilt my head. "No embrace after so long?"  
"No, no embrace" I tell him. _Hmm, is this something you wish to discuss in private?_ He asks and I nod stiffly.

"Is he still upset about leaving Carlisle?" Caius laughs cruelly "Boy, you need to move over that fast"  
"He has passed that, Caius!" Aro assured and then adds quickly "I don't know if Jane told you, but I thought that maybe you would like something to do other than playing Pest Control in our dark chambers"  
I am unable to hide my surprise and this pleases Aro.

It was like entering another world, being near Aro. All the scheming and pettiness of the vampires outside of the oak doors seemed almost like a misunderstanding when in the presence of his liveliness, his cruelty seemed so improbable with his concerned gaze fleeting about the room.

"The matter of the day is patronage!" Aro squealed "A lovely occasion, a short one that we normally carry out in private but alas! There was something more vital that same up as well"

"I will warn you, Edward" Marcus drawled "Aro has a tendency of neglecting his pets and leaving them to starve, so pay fidelity carefully"

"As though he would be under you, boring sulky Marcus!" Aro laughed but he seemed slightly unsure on the subject. "And Caius has no taste for young talented _boys_"

"You pay patronage" Caius waved an indifferent hand "Or rather; you are now alerted to being under Aro. Do you accept?"  
Did I have a choice? "Time?" I whispered and the smile on Aro's face faltered. "I need... time"  
"Time for what!" Aro snapped. "You make this seem so unplanned and short noticed?!"  
"You just told me this!" I replied, unable to calm some of my irritation.

"Oh, nonsense!" Aro frowned viciously "You are a telepath!"  
"Not a psychic, the two are extremely different" I responded.

"He has a point" Caius grinned amused.

"Jane, I thought you would have taken care of his _impudence_ or are you too busy staring into his _still _honey eyes!" Aro hissed "If you are unable to conduct yourself as instructed I will have to hand him to someone more _suitable_"

Alec's grin was badly concealed and Felix and Demetri looked on with interest.

"Master" Jane droned and took a step from her seat and looked at me, her eyes pleading between my forgiveness and understanding and her anger at how I had shamed her. The fire crawled over my skin, and I was in arched in the air spitting and hissing. She released me and I crumbled to the ground groaning.

"I apologise, it is just that..." I spluttered but Caius interrupted me with mild revulsion at my form.

"I see no problem with allowing him time to select patronage" Caius murmured "I don't think it is a sign of disrespect to the Guard or you, Aro. I think... your servants are a tad too many, and did you not say that Edward likes _attention?_ We can't have your children squabbling for your attentions. And this allows us to have an unbiased Guard, for a change"

"Hmm" Aro calmed somewhat.

"And I see no problem with Jane's conduct with Edward" Caius added "In actuality, mating them may just put a collar on the boy's neck"  
"I see" Aro agreed unwillingly, all liveliness departing form his form. He took his seat immediately and looked onwards at something uninteresting.

"Shall we do what we came here to do?" Marcus droned and Aro made a non committal sound, leaning dejectedly in his throne. "The boy knows what is expected of him now, lets be done with these _petty_ issues"

Caius murmured in Latin for the criminal to be brought in and I waited.

The oak doors opened, and a tall dark skinned man entered with two large vampire males at either of his sides. His eyes were red and deep set, covered with shadows and he had cruel full lips and closely cropped ethnic hair.

"Joham" some of Aro's energy returned, a glint in his eye that I had never seen, dancing wildly "Welcome to the beauty of Volterra! Much tamer than the wildness of South America, I am sure"

And as though he had not just had a tantrum about not been so easily allowed to have his way for once, Aro rose from his seat fluidly and embraced Joham as thought they were old acquaintances and not just meeting here in the Throne room for the first time.

"I hope you chamber was suitable" Aro smiled and Caius growled.

"No games, Aro!" Caius hissed.

"My Lords" Joham murmured in a rich dark voice and bowed lightly. He did not mean any of his gestures or flattery-he hated Aro immediately and Aro had missed out on that recent memory, as he recovered his seat between Marcus and Caius.

This would be my first introduction of what it meant to be a Volturi guard; condemning criminals against the one vampire law. Joham looked to his left at Alec and Felix standing indifferently between the pillars and then at Jane and I.

"Do you understand what you are here for?" Aro asked and Caius watched me closely. "I am not so concerned about showing face in the villages, but in Rio? There are thinking people there!"

"We do not willingly seek to destroy our kind" Marcus drawled "We are a very under populated species, if you can understand"  
"Yes" Joham said, smiling a little.

I froze my eyes on the well dressed suave man. The crime they had placed over his head, no matter how severe it was-was nothing in comparison to the real reason he had been brought here. And Caius and Marcus did not know; Aro had picked the entire truth of Joham's history from their brief embrace.

The content of the trial here, that was severe in all its substance from being seen in a city, was suspicion of harbouring an immortal child in the Amazon. But what Aro and I now knew of...

Was impossible.

Like Azure.

"Edward, it is lovely to see you take an interest in our legal affairs!" Aro laughed, as though he did not know that Joham had impregnated a human too many with children, fatherless vampires. Aro smiled sweetly at me, and assured me that my living would be more tolerable here if I kept this detail between him and I.

"Did you receive anything?" Caius asked Aro.

"No location" Aro answered-no location of the supposed immortal child, but intuition on something much more. Joham truly had no idea were any of his offspring were, nor did he care-they would seek him out eventually.

"I hate games" Caius said suddenly "If you can understand Joham, in my years I have seen them all"  
"I understand" Joham said.  
"Aro's gift is to see every thought in a beings mind" Caius said "And he has seen yours, and we know you made an immortal child"  
"Immortal Child?" Joham asked suspiciously, looking at a nonplussed Aro "He saw into my every thought, and knows that I create but a measly _immortal child_?"  
"This man is unhinged!" Aro announced, his mind split with a steady slur of threats for me to remain silent on this. I obliged willingly, Joham in all his madness had touched a once perceived dead nerve in me and I would seek to gain knowledge on all he knew about hybrids. "He down plays the seriousness of an immortal child, do you see dear Caius!"  
"Such impudence!" Caius hissed, riled by Aro.

"But we cannot condemn him, alas!" Aro fell back into his chair theatrically "Only news of his sightings in Rio, and it was not very solid-was it Jane?"  
"Master?" Jane didn't know the game Aro was playing. I shook my head once to her and her eyes widened but she understood me "Not solid at _all_"  
"I walked in the market during the day..." Joham was not only as suave and well kept, but his intelligence and cunningness was going to cost so much-as much as both Aro and I had vowed in the second to find his half-vampires, he had now vowed to keep them hidden after ascertaining that Aro should know of their existence and that Aro keeping the knowledge silent in front of the relevant authorities was not good.

"Jane!" I hissed quickly, seeing were he was going with this and Jane smiled cruelly at Joham and burnt his mind alive.

"Do not speak out of turn!" Aro said coldly, giving me a pleased look and winking at Jane. Alec was not oblivious to what was going on, watching me with alarm. "You will show respect, Joham or risk a fate worse than fire. Do you understand me?"  
"I do!"Joham gasped, kneeling and shuddering as the pain desisted. "I understand you perfectly!"

"You were saying how his defences are good?" Caius urged Aro forward.

"Oh, yes... all I have is his memories" Aro sighed "And they suggest so much! He is not right of mind!"  
Caius gave Joham's well kept form a once over, studied the well brushed hair and tailored suit.

"Yes, I would say he is most shabby of mind" Caius smiled, thinking that Aro sought to release Joham in order for him to be tracked, and hopefully discovered with the nonexistent immortal child.

"Thoughts shan't be evidence in this case" Marcus sighed, rising from his seat "Until the tangible material is available... I do not wish to be disturbed"  
And with that, Marcus left.

"Joham, you are a free man" Aro smiled, rising "Do try and behave now"

Xx~xx~xX

"What was that about!" Jane hissed, grabbing my hand and urging me forward "Tell me now!"  
"Did I not just reawaken your favour in Aro's eyes?" I smiled "I thought you would be pleased? I am more than certain of present if you went to him and took his shirt of, he would return the favour"  
"He is right, I need to be more diligent in teaching you manners" Jane drawled but she didn't use her gift on me. "What was it, with Joham?"  
"Aro wants something from him" I said "And he can only get it by releasing Joham and then having him tracked"  
"And what is it you want" Jane asked.  
"I want to be in the convoy that goes to find him" I said. "And I want you to be with me"

"And you are certain Aro will send for Joham to be found?"  
"By the most powerful" I said "But we are not certain to be the ones chosen, Jane. Caius will demand a meeting, naturally. You and I need to prove ourselves on this, that we are really the most sacred"

"He always chooses me" Jane said "They always send me"  
"Things may change, mon amour" I whispered, touching her cheek "And we need to stand together when they do. You feel it from all of them, and you know that trust is something you are running low in. I offer you once more, Jane. Will you not let me be your most intimate confidant?"  
"I believe we are betrothed, Edward" she smiled. "And what can be more intimate than that?"

"This?" I whispered and trailed her plump cheek and jaw, touching her lips. She shivered under my touch. "I will be there for you, Jane. If you remain as you are, by me?"  
"Nothing is for free in Volterra" she whispered but she allowed herself to melt into my arms when I picked her lightly up, and held her tightly. Her thin arms going around my neck and locking there and in one wispy breath she said "L'as-tu vue? Votre amour?"  
"Is it not you?"  
"You flatter me" she sighed.

"Maybe that can be enough, flattery?"  
"For now"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I always wondered how on earth the vampire world can be okay with having one ruling empire with no objection or corruption. Jane is my broken doll, sigh.**

**Remember to review.**

**Xx**

**tj **


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome, Goodbye**

"Don't think I am neglecting you!"Aro laughed, sitting on the edge of his large gothic desk. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, and somehow this made him seem _more_ bizarre. Aro was a little more willing to understand the changing times in comparison to Marcus general lack of interest in _anything_ and Caius only interest in _weaponry_, but he was still a few decades behind.

"I don't think that at all" I said softly, forcing a smile.

"It's just... you refused my embrace!" he half teased "I am starting to think that Caius mating you and Jane may be something you two _really_ want? I don't know if it would be so awful to have my favourite things mated..."  
"I am not _yours_..." I smiled at him.

"As yet" he returned the grin. "You know I don't sit well with the thought of you and Jane. Jane is a complicated little _peculiar_ creature... do you know I am the only one who has been with her?!"

"She thinks you would have it that way, and you know it" I said stonily.

"I would have her _controlled_, Edward!" Aro's quick transition from playful to deadly was always a mystery to me "Alec, I see him as a mild threat at most. He wants so few things, riches and lovely things..."  
"Jane only wants to be held" I said. "To be loved. That can hardly be asking for too much. As I can tell, she doesn't even own a piece of property save for her room in _your _building."

"Asking for too much? My boy, don't you see-she is asking for _everything_!" Aro hissed. "Intimacy! She has enough wealth to buy a small African country and yet she mops around whining and tormenting the help! She has to be the most tedious woman in the world, don't you agree? To be _mated_ to such a creature!?"

"I see the problem as simple as this" I said, keeping the smile on my face "She isn't a _woman_ completely but her emotions have just touched on womanhood and she isn't such a child that she would be content with misery and mistreatment, embracing it naively without a single question to its purpose"  
"Ah, but if she were a child I would have been able to be rid of her once her purpose had been served!" Aro growled, lost in silly musings "But I would have missed her later on, I suppose. Her twin just does not have her disposition! Alec is almost as strong, even if his gift isn't as extravagant as Jane's? Is it not funny, that she burns minds but has the character of an annoyed fat cat. And Alec numbs the mind and yet he has the verve of a horny squirrel!"

"You can be so cruel!"  
"Oh, my dear lovely _desirable_ Edward..." he walked over to me carefully and made to touch my cheek, I danced easily away from him and went to study a painting that showed him on a fearsome horse. "You have no idea how _pleasurably_ cruel I can be"  
"I think I have an inkling" I told him, swallowing bile and hatred at the memory of Aro's tantrums over being rejected. I wasn't expecting an apology from anyone about that first nasty experience in understanding the Volturi hierarchy system, and it was because of my forced understanding really, that made it easier to act so _perfectly_ at _ease_.

"Are you going to explain to me why your thoughts are such _precious_ things?" he asked.

"Are you going to explain to me why you allowed a vampire that was performing such atrocities in the world to walk out of Volterra with no punishment, save for a slap on the wrist?"  
"Edward, my lovely temptation!" Aro sang "You inspire me, you rile me up...!"

"My thoughts are not worth anything to you, if they are _given_" I cut him "But if they are mine and remain locked, then they are _priceless_"  
"There is truth in that"  
"There is truth in _everything_" I said, facing him. "Why did you keep his impregnating human's from Caius and Marcus? Why did you let them believe there was an immortal child?"  
"You saw from his mind" Aro said carefully "Those things are as good as immortal children. I suppose there is no lying to you"  
"You haven't learnt how to lie to me" I smiled "But I am sure you will"  
"Well, we have so much time you and I" Aro smiled "We can be intimate without force this time around, I hope?"  
"You have lost track of the purpose of our discussion"  
"The purpose was for you to secure leverage over me so you could have your thoughts? Because you secretly pray for returning to Carlisle?" he smiled wickedly at me "Have your thoughts, I have my Chelsea and with time you will forget such secret musings and snuggle up to your new Papa!"

I scowled at him, disgusted but more pleased his conceit and impulsiveness had put me not only two steps ahead, but three. I wasn't going anywhere, what I was doing was seeking some measure of power. And Aro was cunning and clever, that was why he was in the middle of Marcus and Caius-he knew all too well how short the time was that a being would remain a servant if they had ambition, but a servant with aspirations for power was something to be put down immediately for it would want to be master eventually.

"You know I want to send a convoy out to either retrieve one of Joham's elusive children or at least scan his territory and see how much of a threat he is to my empire" Aro said sternly. "And... oh, it is coming to me now. You want to go?"  
"You orchestrated my pledging fidelity to one of the Volturi houses at the precise moment you were to have your trial of Joham, because you wanted me to know. You wanted me involved, and you wanted me to be your tool but alas, it seems one part of that didn't quite work out? I haven't pledged to _anyone..._"  
"You are just playing hard to get, you will be under me soon, and you will be writhing with contentment for your Master" Aro said, a glint in his eye that was now associated with South America. "Joham has grand plans for South America, for his territory that currently have nothing to do with the rest of the vampire world. It was a difficult decision; to stop him in his tracks, or take all his lovely trinkets"

"He does not even know where his offspring are!"

"Yet! He does not know _yet_" Aro clarified "He knows they will seek him out, they will want to find out the truth about their parentage and etcetera"

"You want one of them brought to you?" I asked "A half vampire?"  
"Precisely" he grinned. "When I have the proof, Caius will be more willing. If I tell him before and even with the knowledge of Joham leaving the women pregnant, he will denounce it all and run to South America with a lit match and burn everything. He can be rather impulsive with punishments and strange _other _creatures"  
"And Marcus?" I asked.

"What about him?" Aro chuckled "There will be proof, and Marcus has always been one of logic"  
"Or one to have things be done as quickly as possible so he can be left alone" I murmured absently and Aro laughed.

"You see, I need you there because quite frankly..." Aro pursed his lips "I trust you more than any of my pets. There is a problem with Chelsea's gift that I should have realised a long time ago, you see. She creates a sense of loyalty to the Guard, to the Volturi-which is essentially Marcus, myself and lovely Caius. So, one cannot be disloyal to the guard as long as they are loyal to one of us three..."  
"But they can be unfaithful to an individual for another" I murmured "They can be disloyal to you, in favour of Caius"  
"Tedious matter!" Aro groaned. "But nothing I can do about it, for as long as they are loyal to Volterra, I cannot call it such a _heinous_ crime"

"But Jane is forever loyal to you"  
"Back to Jane!" he sighed wearily. "I never should have done what I did with her. She was quite a lovely girl, before. So full of creepy childish evil and entitlement. Now she is gloom and doom, and I fear it will get worse if she is hanging around the most broody vampire since Carlisle"

"I do try to bring a level of joy to her"  
"At the expense of your sulking?" he smiled "I think not!"

"Why do you not trust Jane?"  
"I trust her..." he sighed "But she has a tendency to get resentful, or let her feelings get involved and _damage_ my prizes! Those worthless intimacies you were speaking of, they cost so much! Jane is formidable, but I fear I may have relied on her for _too_ _much_"

"Let her be there, in the Elite you send out" I told him quickly "Allow for her to be there. With me as her new fixation, I am sure she would be more proficient, if not infinitely more adept with every endeavour her master sets out for her, after having all her intimacies and needs attended to"  
"You would never attend to Jane" his tone came out parched, he was uncertain about my sympathetic tenor for Jane and this put doubt over him if he would ever be in my favour. Aro was not one who had patience for doubt... "You could never even attend to yourself!"  
"I attended to Carlisle, didn't I?" I said and his anger prickled from jealousy. "But I have a very extensive imagination, I am sure I can keep Jane _occupied_"

"You have changed" Aro said coolly "There is something off about you"  
"It's only from being so miserable from not being near you" I sighed "How I have been tormented from your _shunning_ me..."  
"The change doesn't seem to have affected your silver tongue!" he mused "But it has made you less impulsive, less self obsessed and I think that may be more dangerous than my other pets, who only want _attention._ What do you want, Edward... that is past Carlisle?"

"Do you doubt that I am unable to either retrieve these strange creatures or fruitfully interrogate Joham without suspicion?" I said, ignoring his ending question.  
"No" he sighed. "I suppose not, not with _you_ Edward. You never do anything half way, do you?"  
"No, Aro... I don't" I smiled at him and his thoughts, he had analysed that I was incapable of loving in small measures and his hope for my exit from Carlisle's coven to allow a more willing submission to his advances-that I would reciprocate with full verve. He had already forgotten about poor Jane and our far future wedding "I will see you when you announce the convoy"

Xx~xx~xX

Everything was hanging on Jane and Aro playing their parts, but in the Volturi there was nothing as set as _deception_. We are convened in our predatory ranking; Jane and Alec ambling just off of the three velvet inlayed thrones, Felix and Demetri opposite each other and the rest of the first Guard including myself, given free range of the exterior. There is nothing uttered, the silence deafening to them but their thoughts roaring with resentment for each other. Who would be chosen for this task, which was the highlight of so much in this century-a test of loyalty and worth and a way to either maintain ranking or increase it.

I had more to lose, not only an insight to a measure of peace-but a means to protect my family. It was all exceedingly precarious. My prize could only be a tainted form of tranquillity, but it was so much more in my new appreciation of solitude. This one thing, meant too much. This one thing was all my possible pathetic happiness, and just possibly, with greater weight and conclusive hope...

This could be my little peace of heaven, and such satire for it to be located in this hell hole.

"Master" the murmurs rebound in the hall as Aro and Caius move through the back of the plinth and take their places in their seats. The quiet is almost immediate when the ancient ones are seated and once again, I am lost in the storm of deception and scheming thoughts and it is almost miserable that Jane stands tall and proud opposite Alec, her mind nothing but loyalty and naivety to the war around her.

"It never ceases to amaze me how eager they all are to be away from Volterra" Caius sighs.

"You can hardly blame them" Aro laughs "Nothing ever happens in the world, these days. They are fired by the prospect of wild vampires outside of our perfect city"  
"They barely look fired up to me" Caius sighed, surveying the room with littered woeful vampires, all seeming to be mourners at a wake than any dangerous well trained elite army.

"The business of the day, please" Caius sighed.

"Immortal children" Aro announced and there were a few twitches of shock. Caius was unsurprised by my lack of response, but Jane... she pivoted completely and looked her brother dead on. Alec ignored her questioning gaze.

"I believe that our good guest of a few nights ago has created such, but alas we cannot seem to locate them" Aro said sadly, as though he were speaking of a group of plump lost children frightened of the dark. "But it is a delicate matter, because our guest is the most resourceful vampire I have come across since a certain blond Englishman dithered into my castle"

I closed my eyes to keep from looking at him, but naturally I saw his pleasure at that little remark from his mind.

"Actually, I think the matter would have been most suited to have the advice from one who creates children for the purpose of company" Aro said thoughtfully "Wouldn't you agree, Edward?"

"No, I cannot say I can agree to that" I murmured, the air struggling to come out of my lungs.

"I mean, surely if we ask Joham for another visit and Carlisle could understand him and exam him, give him a once over for insanity? Carlisle himself is as a scientist who sought to create life for companionship" Aro pressed.

"Carlisle is not a scientist that creates life..." I said steely "He is a father to children"  
"And what better a vampire to have with us, to help deal with such a strange situation?" Aro smiled and I frowned viciously at a marble statue opposite me. His allusions were vicious, his implications so dangerous that it could only take Caius agreeing and Marcus wasn't here to balance it out and I would see my world burst into a raging inferno-if Carlisle was sent for to deal with Joham, and consequently the half breeds then all was lost!

And Joham, maybe I had misunderstood his mind. It wouldn't be the first time I had done such a thing with a being. This was all too much, Joham was the scientist and Carlisle the father! There was no confusion about that, Olivia had been created from passion and love. Not curiosity and ego.

"I don't think it is necessary to include Carlisle and his _big yellow hair!_" Caius spat, his thin white gold dual draping of hair gleaming with jealousy. "There are hardly enough rats to feed two idiot vampires"

"We need Marcus' thoughts on this?" Aro murmured and Caius rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Aro, can we not attend to one business first?" Caius breathed "Bring the evidence and destroy it. Carlisle cannot be called to study the reasoning behind any action by Joham, if that reason is but a pile of ashes!" Caius snarled, slamming his hand on the armrest of his grand seat and staring at me as though I were Carlisle. He never liked Carlisle, no simpler than that Carlisle was _different_. Caius did not have any tolerance for uniqueness, talents and more intensely... creatures that were not vampire.

"Fine, then" Aro conceded, knowing full well that when the evidence was captured, no one was going to try and burn it. "So whom shall we send?"  
"I was thinking we could send Alec?" Caius said "He is more than capable"  
"Send both if you must" Marcus sauntered into the hall "All of this bickering"

"We cannot have our most efficient weapons away from us" Caius said quickly, ignoring Marcus.

"Masters?" Jane murmured and I groaned. It would only be fitting that she would be the one to tip over all my plans. "Alec is more than proficient, do send him..."  
"Jane?" Aro raised an eyebrow.  
"This matter of immortal children... it is an uneasy business for one born so close to the memory of suckling, although the intricacies of vampirism are so gracious and gratefully loved" she said hurriedly "I trust in Alec"  
"Thank you sister" Alec breathed.

"Hmm" Aro scowled at her and Jane averted her gaze "Edward, would you not come by and stand by this intimate _grace_ of yours?"

I moved immediately to Jane's side and awaited his declaration.  
"Edward and Felix naturally" Aro said. "Edward, when you locate Joham, if it is before you retrieve an immortal child... interrogate him, but do not harm him"  
"Yes..." I said slowly and with great effort I added "Master"

"I do not sit well with the selection" Caius said "Felix, Alec and _Edward_?"

"Demetri in place of Felix then" Marcus waved an indifferent hand. "A telepath is too useful a tool to leave behind"  
"Of course" Caius murmured, his red eyes narrowed and hateful on my face.

"Jane, as supportive as you are of your brother..." Aro smiled at her "I implore you to reconsider. Nothing strikes respect, than you... my pretty angel"  
"Master..." she was about to decline once more and I couldn't risk it. I wove my fingers into her little digits and held her hand, squeezing slightly. Alec and Demetri were not oblivious, and the anger that seeped through them both at Jane's obvious partiality would cost me very soon. "I... will go, to please you Master. I can go"  
"Of course you can!" Aro snapped "You are in the guard, and although Edward coddles you and encourages pathetic sentiments, you need to throw those intimacies off and leave them in the bedroom!"  
"Yes Master" Jane said at once, I quickly released her hand.

"You leave at once" Aro commanded "Now be off, and be sure to return with a _souvenir_"

Xx~xx~xX


	5. Chapter 5

**THE JUNGLE BOOK**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**Carlisle Cullen.**

**Xx~xx~xX**

Every father has his fears. But could I be afraid for him if I knew he was safe? But his safety was so precarious, as was hers... my little Olivia. And now, I knew how intertwined were their fates. Now, I knew how brave he was, my son and brother.

Selflessly brave... my closest secret friend.

_Father,_

_I am happy to know, that you should be happy too if Alice has missed this. I have fulfilled my purpose, and yours. Be a father; be safe... as I am. Aro is most gracious, an attentive master if there ever was, ever watching _**my **_needs. And my needs alone, concern him._

_I am well cared for, and I learn discipline by the day... you and I never did cover such a lesson._

_Edward._

"What does it mean?" Leah asked "That Aro looks after him?"

"It means Aro thinks he has won" I said "And we are safe; he has made it safe so I can be a father"

**X**

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

It was one thing to be a sixteen year old run away teenage wolf, it was another thing to be living with another teenage wolf but raising a wolf vampire _brat_...

My day had to start early; Olivia wouldn't have it any other way and if I was going to be getting no sleep then be assured it was going to be a group activity. The life of a wolf is never solitary; we do things together as one... as a pack.

"Ngh"

"Seth, wake up..." I hissed and he swatted my hand blindly, his other hand covering his eyes. "Seth, wake up!"

"No" he stated groggily, pulling the blankets over his head and curling into a large woollen shaped foetus.

"Sethie...!" Olivia sang, bouncing on the bed and letting out a slew of high pitched giggles. Not the cute type, not the irritating type... the vampire type that made both Seth and I curl back into ourselves and cover our sensitive ears.

"I am up!" Seth roared, shoving the blankets away and attacking Olivia, scooping his niece into his arms an attacking her in tickles. The giggles continued and the window pane shuddered in time with each pitchy annunciation of glee "Olivia!"

Seth stopped the tickling and covered his ears again, wobbling off his bed and staggering into me before stumbling out the door, heading to the bathroom, grumbling about sleeping with ear muffs from now on.

"Tickle?" Olivia looked up at me with large electric eyes, so startling due to the pale golden skin that seemed to always have a glow to it. She smiled expectantly, shoving her little hands up above her head and exposing her sensitive arm pits.

"You didn't do what I told you to do, yesterday" I sat on the bed carefully. Seth appeared by the door, a tooth brush shoved into his mouth and toothpaste foam covering his chin and escaping at the corners of his mouth. "You look like you have rabies, Seth"  
"Mngh... sgnn" he said, rolling his eyes and twirling his index finger by his temple. Olivia giggled again, and after Seth and I were done shying away from the high pitch, I groaned at her, giving her an indicative look.

"We were supposed to practice our voice volume, like Daddy told us" I told her and she pouted, folding her arms over her chest adamantly "When you yell..."  
"I am not _yelling!_" she stated, looking away from me sulkily. I hated being the bad guy, Seth was off brushing his teeth without a care in the world, knowing full well that he wouldn't be in Olivia's General Sulker act while I took one for the team and ensured we wouldn't be deaf wolves.

"Ollie..." I warned and she flinched.

"It's Olivia, Jakey" she stated and it was my turn to flinch "Like Daddy calls me"  
"But Rosalie calls you Livy"

"You called me _Ollie_" she said, scooting to the edge of the bed and swinging her little legs. "But it doesn't matter; I don't like either of them"

"Carmen it is" I said, picking her up and swinging her over my shoulder like a precious bag of beans.

"My name is not Carmen, Jacob!" she laughed, whacking my back with her little fists rather painfully.

"What's your name then?"

"It's Camille!" she laughed, another playful whack from her and I stopped my trekking down the stairs and groaned in pain. I pulled her up into my arms and held her carefully, surveying her little hand. She watched me do this with patience only an innocent could manage before whispering softly "Did I hurt you, Jake?"  
"Nah" I lied, my back throbbing, it would heal in minutes "Just... I remembered, we need to practice our running and juggling today"

"I broke the toilet" she said softly "In my room. I was going to tell you, Jake"  
"No problem honey" I had heard the smash last night, and known by her little squeak of surprise that it hadn't been anything dangerous. Hell, if a robber jumped into Olivia's room at this stage... I would rush in to save the poor idiot robber!

"We just have to teach you your tactile senses" Seth said, laying out the bowls on the table, the cereal placed in the middle of the two large black bowls and the purple smaller one.

"You know, the juggling?" I reminded her and she smiled in understanding. "And then you can show Daddy how good you've gotten with playing baseball, eh?"

No more smashing the bats, or chucking the ball miles off and hitting some poor unsuspecting human on the head. She nodded and sighed, looking at her brightly coloured cereal box distastefully. Yet another new development to add to Olivia's long list of fussiness, something for Carlisle to obsess over in his and Leah's next visit-Olivia _hated_ eating. And Seth and I felt this was more of a problem than her breaking stuff, zooming through walls and bruising her two fragile wolf uncles physically and esteem wise.

Xx~xx~xX

"Kid, come on... pick a smaller book!" I groaned, leaning back into the bean bag and peering at her from under my arm. "Please? That thing looks like an encyclopaedia for _everything_!"

"It's Jungle Book" she frowned, looking at the cover thoughtfully "I don't like the one Sethie read, it was too short"  
"It was for your age!" I complained and then sighed internally. Her age... she looked six and she was barely a year old. It should freak both Seth and I that we have rational discussions with this little bundle of super powered cuteness... but somehow, it was normal. And I was internally grateful that we had gone over the potty training stage and sudden hollering in the middle of the night in a matter of a week.

"My age" she said thoughtfully, still looking at the round imprint of a jungle with a little boy in its shadows, peering up at her from the book cover.

"That one doesn't have pictures" I warned her and she sighed, looking at me with mild patience.

"I can do the pictures later, for art?" she raised an eyebrow and then looked back at the book " Jake, come on... it's better than Lord of The Rings, and I will read half of the first part if you read it for me"  
"I suck at reading" I complained "How about you ask Seth?"  
"Seth is..." she trailed off, and raised her little perfect eyebrow again. "Sulking"

Seth was off in a mood, after him and I had a disagreement about Sue and Billy. He didn't get it, Billy understood my situation, and my responsibilities had always been infinitesimally more intense than any other kid. But Seth, he needed to go to La Push... it wasn't like the Volturi were waiting on Seth to leave before they attacked, they would attack any bloody time they wanted to! Sue had lost her husband, her daughter and her son... he just needed to pop in and say 'Hey mom, still alive'.

"He isn't sulking" I lied "He is... brooding" half a lie.

"What's brooding?" Olivia asked.  
"See, that's why you can't jump from Mr Men books to Jungle Book!" I picked her up and cuddled her into my arms, opening the first page of the chapter, the thick book resting half on her knee and on my lap. "Now, how about you start...?"  
"Gladly!" she breathed in relief "You read like a two year old!"  
"How would you know what a two year old reads like, you haven't seen a two year old nor have you _been_ one yet!" I tickled her and she huffed, before shushing me and beginning the tale of the boy, who was raised with wolves in a dark jungle.

Xx~xx~xX

"Seth...!" there was no hot water, yet again. Not that it was a problem, what with having extreme body heat, but it would be nice for something to feel mildly warm rather than boringly cool all the time.

Being extremely hot didn't mean I didn't feel the cold. I felt it differently, my body wasn't aggravated by it because it knew it was of no concern to my well being but that didn't mean that nothing was cold. In fact, it meant that everything was always cold and cool, nothing ever warm and hot. Basically, a shower was the best part of the day... a scolding hot shower.

I wasn't impressed.

"Seth!" I jumped out from under the offensive shower nozzle, grabbed a towel and stormed out of the bathroom. Wet footprints trailed behind me, the cool water heating up from my skin and slowly rising anger. "Seth Clearwater!"

"What!" he growled from behind his bedroom door. I tried to open it, and no surprise, it was locked. He was probably still changing.

"Open!"

"No!"

"Seth, don't make me break this door down!"I hissed.

"Go right ahead, Dad!" he huffed-irritating me further when he didn't bother to hide the chuckle. As much as Seth was for sunshine and burst of surprising maturity, the other half of the time I understood why Leah was the way she was. It was like he was set on this earth to try me, to prove to the heavens that my ability to control my temper and not randomly phase was a simple fluke..

"Seth...!" I hissed at the door and he continued to mutter, laugh and rant behind the wood that I should take a 'chill pill' and stop trying to 'Alpha one person'. "You little...! You little...!"

"Me little what?" he asked and I roared, shaking from head to toe and thumped twice on the door, the wood groaning under my fists and on the third hammer he opened the door and I stumbled into his room, clutching my towel and tripping onto his bed.

It was all too sudden, no wolf dexterity could save me and I fell on his unmade bed with uncustomary clumsiness, the towel clutched in my hand and only by a chance coolness did I realize that indeed the towel was in my hand but no longer covering my body.

"You finished the hot water" I stated, busying myself with re-wrapping my towel and making a point not to look at him or acknowledge my embarrassment.

"Olivia finished the hot water" his voice was a lot rougher "She likes it hellishly hot too"  
"Right" I rose from the bed and pointed at the lumps of blankets "Your bed is unmade"

"Yes, it is" he was holding the door, I could tell from the corner of my eye. "Is that what you wanted to talk about, Jake?"

I looked at him then, our eyes meeting for a few seconds and I ordered myself not to look away. He looked at my nose, I was sure, then my forehead and then my chest and then lower... and then he cast his gaze ashamed to a corner of his room, his light creamy russet skin blotching.

"Why was your door locked?" I asked him.

"..." he opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out, his hand going into his hair and touching the curly mass. "Erm... well... it's my door, isn't it?" it was meant to be scathing but it came out so quiet and soft that it only seemed like a sincere question.

"It is your door" I told him

"You already showered?" he asked in grand casualness.

"Can't you see the..." I looked at my arm. I was dry, the water had steamed off. "I showered" I said lamely and then we stood awkwardly for another few minutes, Seth unable to look at me while I tried to get him to acknowledge me in some way or other, rather than the weird dude who stumbled into his bed naked.

"Jakey!" Olivia called, startling us. She zoomed right into the room, ending on Seth's bed and causing an unwanted artificial breeze to upset my towel. She was sitting on the bed, holding a phone to her ear and looking from Seth to me suspiciously.

"They are having a stare down, Mum" she whispered "I don't know, but Seth is at an advantage; he has his clothes on"  
"Give me that!" I snapped, holding my hand out and she giggled-normally, thankfully-and skipped over to me, plonking the phone into my hand and jumping over to Seth. "Leah?"  
"Jake!" Leah exclaimed on the other line, Blondie ranting in the background about Olivia being exposed to 'things'.

"Erm, shower... there wasn't... hot water" I muttered, Seth pointedly busying himself with looking at one of Olivia's art works.

"Whatever!" Leah shrieked "You can come! You can come to Alaska, its all safe now!"  
"Leah, slow down..." I frowned "What are you on about!"  
"It's safe, Jake!" Leah whispered impassioned "I can have my baby back, and you and Seth can have your life's whole again"

"Did she tell you?" Olivia asked, grinning toothily. "I get to have my mother and daddy, I won't be a Mowgli"  
"Kid, you make it seem likes it bad being raised by wolves" I muttered, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Just... get here" Leah sighed. "Okay, Jake... bring them to me?"  
"Of course"  
"Did I ever tell you how glad I am that you are my Alpha?" she whispered.

"Not nearly enough times, she-wolf..." I chuckled. "But once again, I am no ones Alpha"  
"Yes Alpha" she giggled-Leah, giggled "I have never been so happy Jake, but there is something... disturbing. I'll tell you all about it when you get here"  
"Tell Blondie to keep the stove hot" I laughed "You want to talk to your idiot brother?"  
"Hey!" Seth exclaimed, forgetting that he was holding Olivia's precious Rembrandt and chucking it on the bed, garnering a 'Hey!' from Olivia too. "Give me that!" Seth grabbed the phone and skipped safely out of the room, probably to groan about me being a surprising stick in the mud after all.

"You happy, Ollie?" I asked Olivia and she smiled, either not noticing I was trying to make my nickname stick or not caring in her joy.

"Happier than..." she put a finger on her chin and thought for a minute "A fly"

"A fly?" I frowned at her and she shrugged. "A fly... Ollie, come on. You can do better than that!"

"Not on such short notice, Jakey!" she widened her already large eyes and pouted.

"So much for being a super pixie" I murmured, reaching for her paper "What have we got here? Jungle Book inspired colouring..."  
"Mhmm" she immediately peeked over my shoulder when I sat on the bed. "See, that's Mowgli"

"Mowgli" I whispered, staring at the macabre scene.

There were wolves, and there was lone boy but nothing about this reminded me remotely of Jungle Book. Mowgli was drawn tall and distinctly adult, a mop of caramel orange smudged over his head as hair and he was wrestling with the jaws of what looked like an emaciated wolf with beady eyes, the tail curled and thin like a rat tale and around the two figures were tall trees and dark shadows, the only light coming from the paleness of Mowgli (she had left him as white as the paper).

"Inspired by Daddy?" I asked her, slightly disturbed and she shrugged.

"I had a nightmare, Jake" she said softly. "I was scared"

I looked back at the paper about to come up with an anti-nightmare pep talk when I saw poor Mowgli's eyes more clearly, and his hair. His face was contorted in a sort of rage (Olivia was of course, good with her colouring pencils) and his eyes were gleaming gold jewels of determination... but the hair sealed the deal. That caramel orange wasn't really caramel or orange, she had used a variation of colours ranging from red to brown.

"Edward?" I whispered and she laughed.

"No silly" she smacked my shoulder-we were going to have to put a no hitting policy if my ego was to remain intact with her bruising smacks "That's Mowgli! The wolves were going to get him!"  
"But it was the tiger... wasn't it?" I asked her, confused and aggravated by her picture.

"No, it was always the wolves" she whispered in terror suddenly "And the moon"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

There are certain types of darkness that leave room for shadows, challenging the lack of light with silhouettes and outlines-giving hope that if you survived long enough, a blink, a twinkle, a glimmer if you would-a single streak of light would pierce the numb void eventually.

There are darkness's that are generous enough with their obscurity for hope to survive in. I knew about all this too well, it had been my shelter for so long, even though I was technically surrounded by light. Even when I was surrounded by a loving family, I had been in darkness and Carlisle had always been the little bit of obscurity my hope could live in.

And it was alive, my hope... in Carlisle, with its blue eyes.

But here, in the darkness of the jungle, as I flipped through the trees and swerved out of the way of gleaming silvery dagger-teeth of lean long rabid wolves... everything was drowning in darkness. There was no benevolence about this dark embrace, it had one purpose and that principle was to kill all parasitic little blinking lights that sought refuge in its obscurity.

"Jane!" I bellowed and she paused her advance through the dark jungle, her porcelain head snapping back at me. Her eyes widened as she took my form in, my body caught in the maw of the werewolf and arms straining to stop the hyena-like jaws from snapping shut and severing me. One of its teeth had pierced through my lower back and the pain that sprung from that point tore through my body. I couldn't feel my legs; my lower half was paralysed and if my upper half failed to keep the jaws from clamping shut...

I would be doomed.

"Jane, let him go!" I hissed and she groaned, dancing through the wild battle ground of werewolves and vampires. She leapt into the trees, safely out of the way of the mangy beasts and began delivering her poison to their minds.

One down, then another and soon... I was free of the mutant grizzly dog, its tooth dislodged from my flesh and nerves sprung alive once more, and for the next eighteen seconds... I beat it with my fists until there was nothing but a lump of fur and flesh, my whole form drenched in its putrid thick crimson life force.

"Edward!" Jane stopped my hand from burying itself once more into the red tinged brown mound of flesh. "It is done!"

"Ha!" I groaned, rising from the forest floor and looking around us. The little camp was completely destroyed, the darkness that I had thought we were in was now penetrated by a full blistering moon and the so called 'Elite Guard' was staggering around in the mess and retrieving limbs.

"He had Werewolves" Demetri announced, looking around us and dusting his shirt. I realised I was the only one out of the top hierarchy of the Guard who had managed to look like he had battled with werewolves. Jane only had her hair to show that she had engaged in lively activities, which could have easily been mistaken as a nap after centuries with her bed hair.

Demetri only had stray glades of grass pinned over his shirt, that he was indifferently dusting and I-I was covered in blood and sporting a slash, I was sure, across my face. The other muscle we had come with, were in more or less the same state as I... but they were allowed that, they were not expected to be the most lethal and precise.

But werewolves had minds that were half animal, nothing like the true wolves I was accustomed to and this only made me realise how much I depended on my telepathy in any situation.

"He is gone" Jane repeated, standing uneasily near me, her nose scrunched up "And you smell"  
"I can't very well help it!" I hissed "What with you going on a one man mission on your own and leaving us to these _dogs_!"

"You need training" Demetri grinned, swinging his coat on. "We dealt with werewolves enough times, didn't we Jane?"  
"Yes" Jane looked around her in disgust "And they don't normally dwell together, or take instructions from _vampires_"  
"This is the time you make yourself useful, boy" Demetri growled, gleeful that I didn't fare well against the werewolves... due to my standing paralysed in fear for a good three seconds when the 'human's' that stood before us twisted and malformed into such hideous beasts with the moon putting them in a horrific spotlight. Those three seconds had given every other vampire enough time to hold their ground, but I... well, if Joham had not looked into my yellow eyes and wondered what type of vampire I was (wondering if he could ever reach me once he was done with Aro's bullies, and parley with me and convince me of his way of life), I may not have awoken from the nightmare in time.

"He knew we would come for him" I said "He knew that his dismissal from Volterra meant only that, we would search him out for his children. He has not contacted any of them"  
"What was he doing here?" Demetri pointed around and Jane hissed, she didn't appreciate him taking charge of her operation. "I apologise, Jane"

"What was he doing here?" Jane ignored him and took a twig from the ground, flinging _something _from my shoulder distastefully with it.

"He was training dogs" I said absently, a small smile on my lips. "_Guard_ dogs, but his training seems to be proving difficult"  
"Should we track him?" Demetri asked Jane and she sighed wearily.

"Firstly, Werewolves are _supposed _to be extinct" Jane said "And secondly, Werewolves are untrainable..."  
"Yes, they are untrainable" I said quickly "But they are, in some way or form... human, and they reason albeit in a miniscule proportion when they have turned" I looked up to the moon indicatively and sighed "We picked the worst night, didn't we?"

"You got all this psycho analysis right now?" Demetri scoffed.

"Yes" I grinned at him "The joys of being a _brilliant telepath!"_

"Explain the untrainable part, Edward" Jane commanded impatiently "Explain, but let us get out of this hell hole... the stink with latch on to my gown permanently and I would be very upset if that happened"

Xx~xx~xX

It was as simple as Joham offering the Werewolves sanctuary, offering them this while they were still human of course. These beasts remembered the Volturi; they remembered exactly how much they were at a disadvantage when it came to ensuring their immortalities remained. And how is it that they came to attack us?

Joham is a scientist, and a mad one at that. He didn't train them to heed his command; he trained them to heed their instincts and then trained himself to understand it and conform to it. Up in the trees he went, and they watched him with barely breathing recognition-Joham knew he couldn't count on their human loyalty when they were turned but he could count on that delay when the werewolf argued with its human self on whether or not to attack...

And while it was arguing, we came right into its midst, and threw comprehension out the window completely, and all that was left was instinct.

Xx~xx~xX

South America was nothing but secrets. Nothing about it seemed to match to my resilient memory of it from when I was last here. It was as though dark creatures had awoken from a deep slumber, and it was us who were in the dark to their existence. We were, the humans here... and we were in grave danger with each second we spent... searching out a creature who was the saviour of all that should have been left in slumber.

Xx~xx~xX


	6. Ordinary Beginnings

**ORDINARY BEGINNINGS**

**Xx~xx~xX**

She watched the little fox peek at her from behind the bush. It was a lovely creature with shining burnt orange fur and clever eyes. Its nose was an adorable little black button and its ears were perfect triangles. It took a step forward, and then hesitated before turning swiftly back and disappearing into the thick dried bush. She could still see its eyes staring at her from that considerable distance, she tried to listen to its heart but all she made out was her own excited one.

She had finally found the little imp that continued to break through the fence and disturb her rabbits. She moved over the brush lining the fence (Jacob had placed it there to block the hole the fox had made under the fence) and tried to hide herself behind the tree at the edge of her garden patch. Her hair billowed out around her as the Alaskan winds did their rounds and she imagined the fox staring at the odd sight of her dark hair moving like fire from behind the tree.

She was playing a silly game, she knew this but Olivia loved her games to distraction. She had insisted on the garden patch at the back of the house, right in front of the kitchen…. Not because she had a particular taste for vegetables, in fact she hated them and they always managed to upset her stomach in one way or another-but simply because a garden patch was a silly thing to have in a home filled with super powered beings who were half terrible cooks, a quarter chef's and the other quarter were lazy consumers when they were around.

She gave up on the fox; if she could see it then it could see her, and if she was unwilling to leave the safety of her garden then it was definitely unwilling to cross the grounds and risk the danger just to be in her garden. The rabbits were huddled in the back of their plat formed pen, the white rabbit (Garry) and the black rabbit (Larry) were huddled together while Ms Penny was sitting a little more centrally, her brown fur filled with little dried leaves and grass.

"That silly fox wont be getting you" she told Ms Penny and the rabbit responded with an adorable twitch of the nose. Olivia touched the net cage, her fingers pushing through the tiny cubed spacing of the wire. She wasn't alone, she was never alone and before, when she was younger of mind… she didn't mind. Rosalie was watching her from the kitchen window, right above the sink she was sure and what irked her to a furious pout directed at a nonplussed Ms Penny was that Rosalie had been standing there for a good thirty minutes since she had entered her little Garden Haven.

She wasn't as skilled a predator as a fox, or a wolf and most certainly not a vampire but she had her own little ways of being adequate. There was nothing remotely remarkable about her, Olivia had always thought, even with all the tests and the heated conversations about theories regarding her. She was as normal as any child would have been had their parents been a Quileute Wolf and a vampire. In fact, she was certain she was _less_ than normal… in fact, she prayed and hoped she was as ordinary and common as any girl be it human or not. She prayed and hoped and wished on ever single stray star that had zoomed over the Alaskan sky for the past four years… because all that Olivia Cullen wanted to do, was go to school and be in detention.

It was all an adventure for her, something out of Enid Blyton or J.K Tolkien. There were no hobbits or Saruman in her tales because that wouldn't be fictional to her, it was her every day life. Talks and lesson's on the Volturi, understanding the Quileute and why she may never be able to set foot there… her life was normal, it was sci-fi and that was ordinary. Her idea of Harry Potter, of witches and dragons and the ultimate adventure came in taking a trip to the mall. Talking to a human and befriending them, maybe shop lifting…

"You are up to no good" Jacob sighed "That smile… yep, you are definitely up to no good"

"I am not allowed to smile too?" Olivia asked absently, pushing lettuce into the cage. Jacob walked over to her, his long hair draped in twin sets of shabby black curtains on either side of his face. "It's nice that you have come to visit us inmates from the cherished lands of La Push"

"Teenage angst is so yesterday!" he laughed, nudging her with a large hand.

"Not being allowed to come to Forks is so yesterday" she countered, eyeing him carefully. "In fact, not being allowed to do anything but sit around and have Alice teach me French… that's boring"

"How are the etiquette classes going?" Jacob asked, failing to hide his humour. His eyes gleamed with joy, his mouth twitching to let out a snort.

"I got mum to join me in them" Olivia grinned wickedly "She ended up fighting with Rosalie and storming out… the audacity of a vampire to think a wolf would be capable of grace on two legs"  
"Hmm, I wonder how Leah would react to you talking about her like that" Jacob said airily and Olivia snorted.

"She was the one who said it!" Olivia laughed "And Dad, you know… came in all poetic and I had to go gag somewhere"

"I don't know why you are sulking kid" Jacob chuckled "Quite frankly, this is as good as it gets for you... you little inmate! It could have been worse..."  
"What's worse?" Olivia asked, her eyes wide and in awe on Jacob's face.

"Well, you could have parents who spend every second of every hour staring at you and making goo-goo sounds..."

"Hmm, when you put it like that..."Olivia winced "I'll try to be a little more... grateful"

Xx~xx~xX

There is a lot to be said about living in a protective house hold. The first is, the amount of fun you have is directly inverted to the level of protection. Her mother wasn't as strict as they all were, regularly taking her into the forest and telling her stories of La Push and the world, musing on the times she was positive would come-a time when there really was no threat, no Volturi at risk of discovering her.

This was Olivia's biggest problem, the fact that the Volturi didn't know about her existence should allow her to live free and normal. The argument to her case, to why they were preparing for the worst instead of celebrating the positive-was that when they did come, when the Volturi and their guard and the brother or uncle they had stolen from her would stand with them, everyone would be prepared to fight... and she would be prepared to live.

The older she got, the surlier she became at the mention of 'Not letting this elusive Edward have gone away in vain'. Edward, the Cullen Martyr... not a picture (vampires were not big on documenting themselves, since they would never change) and most certainly not a phone call to an occasionally melancholic Carlisle. He left, to be with the Volturi-the people who would sooner skin her alive before hearing her reason for existing between a vampire and a Shapeshifter (whose existence was also a precarious one when it came to the Volturi as they were against anything linked to werewolves).

She had broken her bed, and to her it was the equivalent of wetting the bed. She had stopped doing this some time ago, managing her strength with relation to her light weight and her speed. It was a difficult enough feat, a few lessons in giving Seth crushing free handshakes and tackling Jacob enough so he didn't have a broken rib at the end of their play fighting. But as she got up, hating Edward Cullen silently for going to the Volturi and saving her and damning her simultaneously, she had propped herself angrily at the edge of her bed and now fund the wood splintered and poking out sickly by the bottom frame.

"Stupid wood" she grumbled, listening intently to the sounds of the house. Her Uncles and Aunts weren't home, they were having fun with in Denali territory about thirty minutes from the house, her Mother was sound asleep she was sure and Jacob's snoring reverberated through the opposite wall, across the passage from the guest room. Her Daddy was either writing, staring out a window or more likely staring at her Mummy. She wondered if he had heard the light groan, or her diplomatic cursing after said groaning of the wood.

She got up slowly, chanting in her mind that the world was air and she was a butterfly. There wasn't a squeak until she reached the door, and realised in her sulking and quiet anger she was in no position to _not _make a sound opening the door. She touched the handle, it was like a bubble she told herself, and pressed down. It made a little squelching sound from inside and as she pulled the door open... the handle moved abruptly to her, the door screeching from its hinges and left dangling by its handle that was in her hand.

"Oh" she breathed and as she looked away from the oddity that was the door in her hand, hovering steadily in the air, she saw her father's amused eyes staring at her.

"Maybe we should leave doors open?" Carlisle asked and she grinned sheepishly.

"Jacob's snoring" she explained "Err..."  
He took the door from her, placing it carefully in the passage so it leaned against the wall before surveying the hinges. "We were doing so well with the tactile lessons" Carlisle sighed.

"Yeah, I know..." Olivia was immediately miserable. She liked being good at things, she liked to please her father by managing her speed and strength and accessing the part of her that was still human and managing it with the rest of her intricate genealogy-the part of her that could bruise if she fell too hard, the part of her that could catch a cold and tire out after a run.

"Maybe all the repetition is boring, eh?" Carlisle asked walking ahead to the master bedroom, Olivia in tow. Her anger and frustration forgotten in a moment of self disappointment.

"Maybe..." she sighed. Her mother was indeed asleep, blankets thrown haphazard to one side and her long dark hair splayed over the pillows. The moon wasn't out, and she was sad about this. She never could understand her fear of the moon-or her love for it, two intense emotions that came suddenly and went just as rapidly. There were times, late into the night as she slept... in the deepest part of her subconscious when she would be running from these monsters, or sometimes... ripping them apart. And at one point, they had heart her so badly, her arm torn off... but it was an illogical nightmare, and at times there was a moment of insight and this was her little pebble that she stored away-her fear of ever phasing. Her love of her Shapeshifter heritage began and ended with seeing her uncles and mother as wolves... did she want that, did she want it; to have her already worn out normalcy threatened?

"You are restless" Carlisle said, sitting by the dresser and flicking the lamp on although neither of them needed the light. Her eyes shone like globes of blue fire in the darkness and his had an eerie silver iridescence about them. "Cabin fever, that's what your mother thinks..."  
"Hmm" Olivia mumbled, folding her hands over her chest "It sucks being stuck here, I wanted to go and see Tanya... I wanted to go and see the new mall, I read about it in the newsletter..."

"How about tomorrow?" Carlisle smiled "Jacob offered to take you... with Seth? Wont that be lovely?"

"Yeah..." Olivia smiled unexpectedly, her skin blotching at the cheeks. She had been dead set on being a moody pre-teenager and this new curve ball had thrown all her work on being angsty out the window. "Did Jacob ask you?"  
"Ask me?" Carlisle laughed "I think he half threatened your mother...!"  
"Yes, well... she thinks I am going to zoom through the mall munching on humans" Olivia grumbled and Leah tutted suddenly, rising from he bed groggily and rubbing her eyes.

"Oh, I didn't know you were a telepath" Leah slurred sleepily "And if you were, you would be the first misinformed telepath"  
"Edward could be misinformed at times" Carlisle said carefully, as though the mention of the name would blow something up.

"He was a telepath?" Olivia asked.

"Not was, sweetie..." Leah smiled "Is. He is a telepath"  
And before Olivia's natural curiosity could be allowed to bloom further on the barely mentioned Edward Cullen (who she had, at one point, thought was deceased), the topic was changed before her father could delve into emotions that always terrified his daughter.

"I think we need to refine our tactile senses" Carlisle was really talking to Leah although mentioning Olivia. "Broken door..."  
"Oh, sweetie!" Leah said and Olivia looked away from her mother, she was in no mood for pep talks about her super strength, that was one of the other reasons after the never appearing Volturi, that she wasn't allowed to go to school. It was, also the other reason why she had two funerals for her rabbits...

"Seth is coming tomorrow?" Olivia asked sombrely, her excitement about going to the mall doused.

"Yes" her mother smiled "Long over due... you know how your Uncle and Jake are incapable of spending an hour together without fighting"  
"They used to get on" her Daddy said thoughtfully. "I wonder what happened"  
"Hmm" Leah murmured suspiciously but remained silent on the matter.

"I am going to bed" Olivia announced. "See you morning..."  
"Bright and early" Carlisle smiled "We need a crash course on opening doors before I find myself working as a handy man at the mall..."

Xx~xx~xX

"This isn't awkward at all" Olivia said stonily, leaning forward from her little space between the driver's seat and passenger seat. Seth gave her a look from the corner of his eye before sighing and looking out the window while Jacob started tooting a song, making a show of enjoying driving.

"All he has to do is apologise" Seth said stiffly.

"I am not apologising..." Jacob sang "Alpha's don't apologise"

"Apologise for what?" Olivia asked innocently and all the bravado of not caring and being angry slid, both wolves stiffening considerably in their seats. "Okay, the offence... as unforgettable as it is, it is one that does actually want to be erased?"  
"First rule... and I am sure your overly sensitive Uncle will agree" Jacob said business like "No talking like that"

"Like what?" Olivia asked.

"Like you know what Pythagoras theorem is" Jacob grumbled.

"...you can't exactly blame her" Seth sighed "She spends her time talking to Leah... and that's more Leah teaching her martial arts and stuff, and then you switch it over and she is talking to Carlisle and all he does is quote philosophy on everything"

"Oh, come on... that's not what I spend my time doing!" Olivia snapped. "My mum and I aren't training twenty four seven and Dad cracks a joke... erm... he well... we joke around about stuff sometimes. Like this one time, he told me about Gandhi and the Queen of England..."

"Yeah, great way to start a joke... politics" Jacob snorted "whatever happened to 'there was this blonde...'"  
"Well, daddy can't really tell blonde jokes..."Olivia said timidly "He is blonde, you see... and Rose and Jasper are too. In fact, you really shouldn't say blonde jokes... Jake, it's offending"  
"Oh, but Rose calling me a dog isn't offending?" Jacob asked.

"Well, you are a dog... in a way" Olivia fought of a grin.

"And your daddy is as blonde as they get" Jacob ended haughtily and Olivia pouted, tempted to whack his head but thought better of it-she didn't think giving him a concussion or sending the Mercedes into on coming traffic with a badly calculated playful smack would be appreciated by her parents... especially her mother.

"Actually..." Seth said thoughtfully "Jasper is blonder"  
"No, Carlisle is blonder" Jacob defended

"Was Edward Cullen blonde?" Olivia asked suddenly, and Seth lost his on coming arguing statement in one whistling breath.

"Edward?" Jacob asked. "Edward... Cullen?"  
"You met him?" Olivia asked. "You know... he went with the Volturi when I was born, to stop them from coming to the house and seeing me"

"He might as well have been blonde" Jacob half growled, pulling into the mall parking lot. The matter was dropped then, Olivia had only been half interested to begin with and at the sight of the building... her only thought fell towards shopping for video games, junk food and other kids that were not her actual age.

Xx~xx~xX

It was fairly easy for her to slip away from Jacob and Seth, they had not been visiting as often as before and were therefore out of the loop when it came to her grasp of her speed. There were escalators, there were manikins and there people... not the ones she barely spoke to in her quick and dash run at the service station with her mother or father, not the nurses at her daddy's work place who thought she was the most beautiful thing...

People who could choose whether to like her or not.

People, who smelt like rust and sweets and not that tinge of death, illness and peroxide that the nurses had. There plenty of children there, with their parents and this made her smile. This was her, this she understood-the holding hands, the arguing about what clothes they wanted to wear and the sulking and pouting and having your daddy buy you something tasty to cheer you up.

She watched in wonder, walking around slowly and gazing at everything. She stopped by the book store and walked in, a small smile on her face and her hand in her pocket, touching the pocket money her daddy had given her. She had promised to buy him something nice, something unique... and a book wasn't either of those things for him but she thought it would be amusing to get a journal for her mother.

"Hello" she said, reading the magazine title. The man beside her turned to her suddenly, an unsure grin on his face "No..." she smiled shyly, pointing at the magazine rack "I meant... Hello, the magazine..."

"You were saying hello to the magazine?" he asked her, giving her a dubious look. She looked back at the magazine, frowning at it-it was its fault for being splayed out with irrelevant titles on irrelevant facts after all, that was causing her to look like an idiot.

"Kid's these days..."she heard the man murmur as he walked away, shaking his head.

"Do you like magazines?" a monotonous voice asked her. She looked to her left and saw a boy of about her physical age, staring intently at car magazines, his eyes narrowed and forehead scrunched in concentration "I like the Auto magazines" he continued, never removing his eyes from the magazine.

"I have no patience for them" Olivia said, watching the odd boy with mild humour and interest.

"Erm" he looked at her finally, with that same sort of deep concentration he was giving the magazine, the furrow still between his eyes "does that mean you don't like magazines?"

"Yes" Olivia smiled.

"Oh" he shrugged. "I like magazines"  
"you already said that" she told him.

"I like the Auto magazines" he went on.

"You said that too"

"The cars, I like them" he mused.

"Of course you would" she was frowning now, confused by him "Why else would one like an Auto magazine without liking cars. It's like liking a fashion magazine without liking clothes"

"I'm lost" the boy said casually, picking the magazine up and flipping a page.

"I am not" Olivia was about to walk away, turning slightly, still watching the boy cautiously.

"I have Aspregers" he said "Do you know what Aspregers is?"  
"Hmm" she watched as he closed the magazine, wiped it on his faded t-shirt before putting it carefully back and then wiping his hands on the back of his jeans-forgetting her initial irritation with the boy. "I don't think I do"  
"I don't think you do either" he looked her dead on, and she could now see that his eyes were rimmed with red and cheeks hand two trails of obvious moisture on them. His brown eyes had reflecting amounts of intelligence and innocence, and something about his gall to look at her so freely and rudely instantly made her aware that he was no ordinary boy.

"Are you going to tell me?" Olivia asked and he frowned slightly.

"I am lost..." he looked around him, half focused before looking past Olivia and then down at his shining black shoes "I am lost... and I don't think I want to tell you what Aspregers is"

"Well, how will I know how to help you if you don't tell me that?"

"What's your name?" he looked up at her.

"Err, Olivia"  
"I am Bart" he said

"I do want to help you" Olivia surveyed the twelve year old odd Bart. "Can I help you?"  
"You don't know how" he told her "You are just a kid like me"  
"No I am not!" she said, trying to stop her mouth from pouting at the truly ordinary plane faced Bart, with his mess of long limp bland hair and freckles. "I mean... I am... an ordinary kid but... I can help you?"

"My mother was going to go to the store, to buy my sausages. I like sausages, you see"

"So we should go to the store" Olivia said.

"We already came from the store" Bart said "I came in here... to see the Auto magazine"

"So you wandered away from your mother?" Olivia asked and Bart nodded absently. "We can go wait at the car park? Or the information desk... malls have information desks"  
"I know that" Bart said tetchily, looking at Olivia dubiously.

"Err, right..." Olivia blushed "let's go then?"

Xx~xx~xX

Bart, it turned out... was much more interesting that Olivia had anticipated.

It was an irritating sort of interesting, but it was far superior to rabbits and foxes, boring old zooming aunts and uncles and her mother's constant worry on her ability to defend herself and then there was her father's constant insistence that she remain broad when it came to her knowledge... plying her with information of events that had fallen to dust on old men long dead.

In the short journey to the car park, Olivia found out that Bart liked cars... a lot, although he had no interest in ever learning to drive one. She was not yet sure if this was more to do with his current age or if indeed, he could see the future on that one. Bart hated germs, refusing to open doors or to touch the escalator and his mind, was far superior to any twelve year old although he had gotten worked up when she had refused to stop by the sweet shop and indulge him in gummy bears.

"There is my mother" Bart announced after fifteen minutes of standing with Olivia. He pointed to blue sedan, where a frazzled woman was standing with her hands in her hair and face flustered, turning this way and that way.

"Well, by then" Olivia sighed but Bart made no move to go over to his mother. "Bart?"  
"I think that's your mother over there" Bart pointed in a vaguely similar direction to where his mother was, and Olivia saw her mother glaring at her from across the car park.

"Shit" Olivia breathed and Bart burst out in awkward chuckles. "I probably should have told Jake... and Seth... heavens knows the panic they worked up back at home"

They walked silently across the car park, Bart unworried by his mother's anxious skipping and yelps at seeing him and Olivia dreading the discussion she would be having with her parents about wandering off in a mall-that she was sure and jealous would be infinitely more different to Bart's.

"Bart!" Bart's mother lurched towards him and were Olivia expected her to hug him, all she did was touch his hair. Yes, Bart said something about all human beings being walking meat bags of sweat and germs...

She hadn't thought it included his mother, though.

"Olivia" Leah greeted, arching a full eyebrow. Her mother stood next to Bart's mother and the difference between the two women was painful. Olivia could see Bart's mother making sense to the situation and looking over to a tall regal Leah in awe and then back at Olivia's face in increased amazement.

Leah, on the other hand, looked over to the two humans warily... generous enough to give them a flashing fake smile.

"Olivia helped me get through the mall" Bart announced. "And refused to buy me any sweets" he added, giving Olivia a disdained look.

"See, I wasn't up to no good! No one is going to buy a mall today... or work as janitor..." Olivia half chuckled and nudged her mother's hot arm playfully. "Just being my regular girl scout self... helping... kids... through malls and... cross roads"

"I bet you were" Leah grinned.

"Oh, if Bart says she was... then she was!" Bart's mother laughed nervously, before sticking her hand out to Leah "Lucy" she announced. Leah looked at the hand confused, before comprehension hit home (Olivia's mother wasn't used to handshakes) and timidly urged her hand out for Lucy, shaking the cooler one quickly before storing her hand in her pocket just as rapidly.

"Leah" Leah said, slightly confused before looking over Olivia's head. "There are your dim-witted uncles... I swear they are sharing a brain between the two of them"  
"Olivia!" Seth and Jacob sighed in relief, reaching the odd circle with three steps. Olivia watched in wonder as Lucy's eyes widened at the sight of two over six foot burly men while Bart looked... bored.

"Apparently, my daughter is more her father than me" Leah chuckled.

"Or more dangerous than you with those innocent eyes" Seth chuckled.

"You are way too young...!" Lucy began but then she laughed nervously when the three Quileutes looked at her "Beautiful day isn't it" Lucy said nervously "Sun out and all"  
"Yeah, thank God for the sun or the whole defence force would be here" Olivia muttered low and Jacob laughed.

"Mum, can I have a..." Bart thought for a moment, placing a finger on his chin "Play date"  
"Aren't you too old for play dates kid?" Jake asked suspiciously "Preteens don't 'play date'"  
"Cut the uncle act out" Olivia hissed. "I would love to... play date... with you"  
"Play date" Jacob grumbled, folding his arms "Sounds wrong"  
"Shut up, Jake" Leah snapped "Err... you see, Olivia has a lot of homework"  
"No I don't" Olivia piped.

"Really, Bart has never ever asked anyone to be his friend or..." Lucy began nervously, looking at the beautiful little girl in wonder "A play date. He hasn't even been on a play date. You see, he has..."  
"Aspregers" Bart announced in the same monotonous bored tone. "I want to show you my comic books"  
"He wants to show her comic books" Seth chuckled "You think that's code for something Jake?"  
"You know, I think it is" Jake agreed and Olivia blanched when she was unsure from his expression if he was truly considering it as a code for something crude.

"Ignore them" Leah smiled at Lucy "You know what they say about brawn!"

"Err..."Lucy gave Leah a dubious look, obviously reconsidering associating herself with the exotic strange beings... even if it was a rare moment in which her son actively wished to be social.

"How about I give you my phone number" Lucy said quickly, fumbling for something in her bag "And you give me yours?"  
"You know what; let me give you my husband's number?" Leah smiled, adding internally that she wasn't cut out for this house wife thing with play dates. "Better yet, my... err, step daughter" Rosalie was going to kill her, but Leah knew she would be more excited to be playing Bed Ford teenage wives.

"Step daughter?" Olivia, Seth and Jacob said in unison, blinking in confusion.

"You know..." Leah punched in Rosalie's number in Lucy's cell phone "Blondie"

**Authors note:**

**If you have read They Set Out to Kill Fate, you will remember the first few chapters introducing Charles and their format... well, this is it. Illustrating Olivia's little world. I decided to fast forward, some snippets are not relevant to where this is going... so bare with me all ye who wanted a grand reunion!**

**We are going to get Olivia to a certain age, that's the idea. I would love to do a sketch of an adult Olivia as the cover of this-like the one I did for an adult Renesme as the cover for They Set Out to Fight Love... **

**Xx**

**TJ**


	7. Little Lady

**LITTLE LADY**

"Put your fists up..."Olivia sighed, waving the long stick absently in the air, bored out of her mind and wishing Jacob and Seth would hurry up with making their snacks. She could hear them easily, a considerable number of feet away-arguing about their 'issues'. Apparently, Jacob had thought it a bright idea to trick Seth into a double date...

Which ended with Jacob ditching Seth to have sex with his date... in their car?

"Now come at me" Olivia instructed and Bart scuttled over the ground, an odd sight in his thick jacket and sniffling red nose. He threw a punch, missed and a stumbled backwards.

"But Ollie..." Bart dropped his hands in defeat and wiped his nose with the back of his hand "My mother told me not to fight girls"  
"Okay then..." Olivia sighed, messing her hair into knot before bunching it all up and away from her face, tying it into a bun at the back of her head. "See, I'm a boy now..."

"You aren't a boy" Bart said coolly.

"And you aren't a retard" Olivia said "Now, if you want to find yourself being shoved into another toilet... I suggest you put those paws up and swing a half decent punch at me..."  
"Why don't you just punch those boys yourself!?" Bart whined, folding his arms over his chest and sulking.

"Because I am not at your school yet Bart" Olivia rolled her eyes "I'll punch them when I get there! But for now... at least appear threatening enough so you don't go home with purple and blue eyes and torn underwear! Now, put those guns up and fire!"

Bart inhaled wearily and resumed the stance Olivia had shown him, twin fists held timidly up and eyes narrowed and mouth set in a pinch. He wobbled-his interpretation of 'floating like a butterfly'-and pathetically pushed a hand forward-his interpretation of 'stinging like a bee'-and brushed Olivia's face with his fingers, only managing to upset her personal space and irritatingly poke a finger in her mouth.

"That was very sad" Olivia shook her head "I just held a funeral for your self defence and heaven and hell refused it entry; that punch has officially been sent to purgatory"

"I don't know how to fight!" Bart threw his hands up in the air and spun around, tripping and stumbling sideways "I don't even like touching people! Can't I just call those boys out and have a battle of the wits...?"

"Here come Jacob and Seth" Olivia smiled at Bart, pushing her sleeves up in excitement at the little illustration she was planning on giving Bart on 'self defence' "I dare you to tell them that you want to have a duel with a bunch of bullies that consists of nothing but brains"

"...I don't know why you insist on staying at Sue's" Jacob grumbled "I have gone through the trouble of getting a two bedroom apartment so you can be a little bitch about that double date..."  
"Maybe I don't want to be around you Jacob"

"Just tell me why!" Jake hissed "One good reason...?"

"You irritate me..." Seth snapped.

"I irritate you?" Jacob guffawed, looking at Bart indicatively-as though poor Bart would agree with him on that analysis. Bart simply blinked in confusion and said to Jacob "Jacob, you know I don't like yelling..."  
"Shut up kid" Jacob snapped and Bart frowned.

"Don't tell Bart to shut up simply because you two have a love hate relationship!" Olivia snarled, taking a step forward and pushing Jacob. "And where are the snacks?"

"Err..." Jacob and Seth forgot their arguing and looked at each other sheepishly. "We... sort of ate them!"  
"Greedy Wolves!" Olivia snapped.

"Don't you mean pigs?" Bart asked innocently.

"That too!" Olivia sulked "I am hungry...!"

"What's with the turn in mood?" Seth asked "Bipolar much?"  
"She must be pmsing..." Jake whispered to him. "Scary creatures these teenagers..."

"I apologise Bart" Olivia sighed "I have the most immature uncles in the world..."

"That's okay, Ollie..." Bart said "At least your aunts are _beautiful..._"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**OLIVIA CAMILLE CULLEN**

**XxX**

**X**

If I close my eyes really tightly, if I think about nothing but the darkness that wraps around my sight... I can almost remember the dream. I can almost see it, feel it... taste it.

Almost... but it never moves past that, past that little sensation that I had felt something real in my subconscious, that I had seen something either so terrifying I wanted to run and hide or gazed into the most beautiful red eyes. There is no image, sensations and tingling... and the knowledge, the intuition inside of me that this enigmatic occurrence in sporadic nights is mine alone. A secret, a gift... mine alone, the one treasure and part of me that I have no fears of in its abnormality.

"I thought you would be more excited than that" my father asks, peering into the room. He opens the door slowly and steps inside, stopping only after a few feet. "You are still in bed?"

"It'll take fifteen minutes for me to get dressed" I sighed.

"I thought we agreed you would be moving at human pace?"  
"I thought that was only when I was with humans?" I countered and Carlisle's lips quirked into an unwilling grin. He was the only one who tolerated my cheek, when I reared its sudden brazen head.

"Your mother sends her love" he murmured, taking another step and picking up the brand new bag-leather and chic, courtesy of Alice Cullen and as a result, nothing about it reflected me. I wanted something worn and used, something tattered at the edges that suggested I had once been in an institution and not coddled by wealth and brand new love.

"It was nice of them to allow her on their lands" I said, unable to hide my dislike for the Quileute Elders.

"You will learn Olivia..." Dad sighed, appearing at the foot of my bed "That humans have very little patience for 'different'"  
"Like with Bart?" I asked, sitting up. He looked at me and smiled, his dark eyes kind and bruised.

"Like with Bart" he sighed. "Bart must be excited you are going to the same school..."

"Same government school!" Rosalie snapped, entering my room and holding up a brown bag.

"I have been in a private school since birth, Rose... this house!" I sighed, falling back onto the bed theatrically.

"Why isn't she excited?" Tanya walked in after Rosalie "I thought all you wanted for Christmas was to go to school, angel?"

"Yeah, well..." I grumbled, hiding my face under my arm. "Yippee"

Secrets... my family had none of those inside it because we were one big walking secret to the rest of the world. And then, I had my own... and I liked it, and somehow, today... when I was supposed to be ecstatic about this whole school thing... that secret (it was such a perfect little secret, so perfect in fact, that I didn't even know its contents) had consumed my mind and overridden my childish joy at being with _kids._ Today, I woke up and I thought... I would be with kids.

It was the strangest thing, I hadn't truly thought about it in that way at all... These human children who were older than I was... they were all just... kids. I was a kid, my opinion was irrelevant to the world outside of it being adorable and insightful to my youthful soul...

"She reminds me of Edward" Jasper drawled, peeking through my door.

"Privacy?" I grumbled. "You are smothering me..." I missed mum now, she would have told them to all go do something weird and leave me be.

"I made you breakfast, sweetie" Rosalie sighed, putting my lunch in my bag. "We'll wait downstairs for you"

"Greatly appreciated" I sighed.

Xx~xx~xX

It was snowing again.

The outside coated in white, the air a sheer gauze of falling snowflakes filling the air. They never use the Volvo... it's been parked in the garage under the canvas for years, but it's the only car that doesn't roar when being accelerated just the tiniest bit... It's no surprise that Bart prefers Sethie to Jacob although he loves to talk cars with Jake. Seth is telling Bart about his plans to go to college in a big city and Bart is actually listening...

"...I was thinking ten thousand miles away from here..." Seth sighed "Just so I can grow as my own person"  
"I whish I could grow as my own person" I sighed.

"She speaks!" Seth laughed and Bart frowned, sometimes he didn't bother to understand sarcasm although he could if he allowed himself. "Is that what all the melancholy is? I thought you were missing your Mum"

"Yeah, that too" I sighed, frowning at the approaching building of the school and so suddenly I was shocked by its rapidity, I felt nervous. Seeing all the cars, the throng of pupils... "Is it too late to back down?" I asked Seth. "Is it too late to call it quits and just brave the horrific home schooling?"

"I think your mum and dad are looking forward to having the house to themselves, kid" Seth chuckled, sounding eerily like Jacob. He pulled into the school and sighed, looking back at me with a reassuring smile "You are going to be okay. I have never known anyone as brave and smart as you..."  
"Okay, I am certain you are correct about the smart part" I smiled at him "But brave...? I have never had to be brave in my life!"  
"You now martial arts... you know how to handle all manner of weaponry... kickboxing and all sorts of weird form of defence Leah shoved you into knowledge although she herself couldn't pull a Kill Bill on a wheelchair bound Billy"  
"Lame joke" I sighed "Ten points for effort though"  
"Thanks, you are too generous" Seth grinned "There is nothing to be afraid off... Bart will protect you"  
"Technically... Olivia and I have a better chance of surviving this medieval torture institution if _she _protects _us_" Bart droned.

"Chivalry is officially dead!" Seth laughed. "Get out... and don't snack on the poor kids!"

"I haven't tasted blood in my life!" I hissed into Seth's ear before stepping out into the warm chill of the snowing school day.

Xx~xx~xX

It was fairly easy to blend in. I wasn't sure what I had been terrified off; a tail suddenly tearing out of my jeans, aging twenty years as I walked through the corridors, sprouting a snout or tripping and flying through the whole school... or maybe, just being 'seen' was terrifying enough.

I wanted to observe for a change, to watch them all in their natural environment. Like a scientist, like Dad... take notes and compare my finding with Mean Girls or Bring it On. Was High School really as bad and wonderful as they made it out...?

"Our English Teacher is Mrs Donovan" Bart murmured, busying himself with taking out his school books. "She likes my handwriting" he said "She says it's like hieroglyphics. She is really nice"

I was too absorbed in watching the pupils entering to bother with revealing the sarcasm in Bart's cherished compliment from Mrs Donovan... as badly hidden as it was. It was obvious to see why Bart always ended up on some cruel child's bullying list... besides his need to say what was in his mind, insulting, offending or otherwise... he always had to say it. He was dressed in a purple sweater his mother had knitted him... two years ago. I had asked why he had worn this and he had frowned and told me it was Christmas soon... he was trying to get into the spirit early... his mother always complained he was lacking in spirit.

It took Bart four months to work up enough Christmas spirit, it seemed.

"That's Gavin sitting in front of us, Ollie" Bart said in the same tone he had been using to complain about lunch... even though we were only in the first lesson of the day, and of course, Gavin heard him and turned his head abruptly, a scowl on his face.

"You talking about...!" he was about to say something cruel, his eyes narrowed and mouth snarled until his eyes slid to me. "Huh?"

"That's his friend Jonathan" Bart said oblivious to the trouble he was seconds from causing for himself. He pointed to a boy in a brown jacket "They always sit here in English and I always sit here alone. But now, you and I are going to sit here... alone... Ollie"  
"We wont be alone, Bart" I could tell Bart was getting nervous, as Gavin and Jonathan turned and stared awestruck at me "We'll have each other" how lame could I get.

"Who's your friend, Bart... buddy" Gavin asked, smiling at me.

"Olivia" Bart said flippantly, scrawling the date on the top of his page "And she is going to kick your ass" he said in the same blasé tone, while I sat wide eyes staring and blushing at an amused Gavin.

"Is that so, Olivia..." Gavin grinned.

"Err..." I began and then nudging Bart, who made an error as a result and yelped irritated. "Bart, are these the... guys...?"  
"Yes!" Bart snapped "Look..." he pointed at his note book "I can't use this page now"

"Cover it up with tipex" I sighed.

"So you are going to beat me up for Bart..." Gavin asked, raising an eyebrow "You... little pretty you?"

"With an attitude like that, you might just find yourself being beaten up for free" I snapped.

"Olivia, you ruined my book... I have never made a mistake"  
"You seriously want to go through with that for him?" Jonathan chuckled. "I mean... as pretty as you are..."

"Oh shut up about my being pretty" I snapped "I'll beat the both of you up for being asses...!"

"It's on..." Gavin grinned "Pretty Lady"

"Like a scone" I deadpanned, wondering how on earth my blending in had been steered south.

Xx~xx~xX

It was a short lived fight with no witnesses-even though Bart was there; he wasn't as concerned with seeing his bullies pushed up a wall by a girl holding them in either of her hands as much as he was interested in whining about hating the school toilet and that we should leave before we inhale evaporating urine.

In their defence, Gavin and Jonathan were not really interested in fighting me... the same idiotic notion that a girl was incapable of bringing a male to his knees without fluttering eyelashes and pushing her chest out-they needed to meet my mother, all these human men of the world. Even vampire males had enough sense not to take a threat from a 'pretty lady' lightly...

"What do you have for lunch?" Bart asked. "I have... a sandwich"  
"A sandwich with what?" I asked exasperated.

"Bread, lettuce, tomato, onion and... cheese" he said as he peered inside his sandwich "I think that's... salami"  
"its baloney" I murmured, smelling the nauseating generic scent. "I have chicken mayonnaise, carrot sticks and some fancy French something that Rosalie slaved over. You want that?"  
"Yes please!" Bart smiled and I handed him the whole bag, keeping only the apple.

"Who are _they_?" I asked him, nodding over to a group of girls flipping their hair and giggling.

"Cheerleaders" he said indifferently, chewing. "You want to try out?"

"Nope" I popped the 'p' sound. "I am not going anywhere were you aren't, buddy"


	8. The Sorrows of the Eternally Young

I find myself lost in memories that should no longer have any purchase in my mind, thoughts and feelings I was so sure I would never ever have a slither of hope of retrieving-so lost were they, in my immortality and buried with my human youth that the notion that they would be born into my mind again scared me.

I was terrified of the little glimpses into the child I had been-not that I was a frightful child…no, but that, I was… at my purest, my most gracious…

When I was truly seventeen, and the war was upon us and chivalry and bravery were the most valued treasures to men-the world had seemed immense. So vast, so undiscovered and beautiful to my young mortal mind that I was so sure I could lose myself in it. I could drown myself in the seas and awake in Atlantis, that on my way to the fabled city I would swim with mermaids and see lost treasures. I could cross the oceans and find myself harbored on the beaches with a massive wall of trees daring me to enter uncharted lands. Jungles and vines, monkeys and snakes… and there I would be, slashing and hacking my way to the centre… to the heart of the dark woods, to its ruby jewel-through the lions and natives, through the witches and wizards…

And that was how I had died.

And of course, in my rebirth, I had realized that I could actually do all those things, go to all those places and drown in all those waters. I could fight the lions, I could court the mermaids and the moment it had all become tangible was the moment my innocent excitement had died and I had fallen to reality so miserably and willingly.

So miserably and willingly, had I accepted the burn of my human self dying and opened my eyes to immortal adventures. So utterly miserable… and willing…

"Boy" the sound of my voice scares me, it grates and grinds the air. It scares him too, he whips his head up, his thick dark hair falling over his face like a brides veil but I can see his terrified enraged brown eyes. He is on the floor, on his knees with his arms shackled away from his body into the air. Any normal human would have suffered from the position, cried and groaned and begged through it… but he was no human even if his heart willed us to believe otherwise, even if his bruises begged us to believe in the sight… he would persevere through the pain. He could go to other heights in this pain… and he would, he was in Volterra and we were desperate. I was desperate, and desperation… can turn souls dark, and where there are no souls there can only be a void of pure unfeeling lamentation of light long gone.

"I am not part of Joham's plan!" Nahuel cries. "I have nothing to do with it, I care nothing for it… I know nothing!"

"He is telling the truth" I tell Jane and Nahuel sighs, a little glimmer of hope welling inside him at that statement. Jane sees this hope and grins, this is what she feeds off of course… rays of sun and trust (only because she is lacking in them).

"That doesn't mean Joham wont be upset his only male heir has been kidnapped" Jane droned and Nahuel groaned in despair.

"Joham and I have no relationship!" Nahuel's cried "I wanted nothing to do with him then and I still feel that way! What ever ploys and plans he has… I don't know off. I don't contact him and he does not contact me!"

"It doesn't mean he does not know what you are up to" Jane said, looking over to me knowingly, grinning her small sadistic smile "A father always knows when his child is in anguish, when his child is up to no good or in the path of bad intentions… eh, Edward?"

"How true that is, sweet Jane" I rasped, my thoughts terrifying me more than her own on the knowledge of Aro's suspicions of me. "And a child is always more terrified of the _anticipation _of a father's wrath more so than the wrath itself"

Xx~xx~xX

I wonder sometimes if things would have been different if Joham did not have those great beasts, if he did not know how to manipulate them as he did. We would have found him, Aro would have what he wants and Caius…

I am still in shock at how sweet Aro's tongue can be; to convince Caius of his plans and intentions. To convince even an indifferent Marcus of the need the Votluri had in the face of such insolence, to ensure their guard was at its peak and they had their own methods to protect the world they had founded.

To convince both immortal ancients that a female hybrid was what they wanted, was what the Elite Guard should invest their time in finding. Of course, Joham had no interest in Nahuel save for the half vampire's venom laced blood… and even then, there was nothing magnificent about it; Nahuel's blood was bitter because of the venom. He was neither a savory nor a use in creating the perfect bridge into humanity and vampirism…

But a female, that was something entirely different.

Xx~xx~xX

"Did you get anything from his mind, save for his pleas and worries?" Aro sighed. His back was to me, long gone was his fascination for me in the face of this new obsession-half human vampires that were kept from him by Joham.

"He had made contact with a sister of his once" I told Aro "He does not know where she is and he is more certain that Joham has her under her care… he truly hopes that is the case because well… he believes Joham will keep her safe. _All_ his sister's safe"

Once again, Aro's mind swirls with anger at the realization that Joham's own forces are rivaling his… and that as time moves by, Joham will be stronger than the Volturi. He thinks about it again, that dreaded thought of his that has ensured he let me be with my feeding of rats and cats…

Could he talk me into creating his own half vampires soon, he wonders? So certain was he that I had control, that rivaled Carlisle, that he was holding it all off until the need for that seemed the only answer to his predicament. He was not yet so desperate as to entertain the thought of kidnapping Carlisle and forcing him to do this for him… and I was thankful that there was a glimmer of loyalty to Carlisle from Aro, no matter how feeble.

"I need a female" Aro sighed. "A male is pointless save to create _weaker _hybrids with a female human"

I want to tell him they are not dogs, we are not creating the perfect Labrador here…. But Jane is standing by Aro's side, his favorite once more and she is bitter about how I coddled her feelings and then left them to hang with nothing but sparse kisses to remember me by. I am no match for her own strengths if she did decide to force the matter like she had once, on my first arrival… but there are certain courtesies that the Elite Guard has to adhere by, has to respect.

"This crusade, is turning into a decade affair" I say and he turns around smiling.

"If I get a female, then it would be over" he sighs. "For a year… and then after, you will go and find me werewolves, Edward"

"Find you werewolves?" I kept my voice neutral "You sent them to extinction? Where am I supposed to find them… under a rock?"

"If I sent them to extinction then how is it that Joham has them?!" he hissed. "And how is it that they are now able to be aggravated into turning without the _fucking_ moon?!"  
"He has a collar wired around their necks…" I murmur quickly and Aro rolls his eyes and snorts derisively.

"Maybe I should put a collar around your neck!"

"It is already there!" I couldn't stop myself and too late, I see Jane's satisfied grin. It has been a while since I felt her gaze, Aro says nothing to stop her and I am on one of my mortal an adventures… but today, I am heading to hell.

"Jane, my sweet" Aro murmurs while I retch and gasp on the floor "Who is in South America as present?"

"Felix and Demetri with four guards" Jane whispers, never releasing me.

"Tell them to contact the boy's Aunt… give her a message that if she can bring to me a female, she can have her sister's spawn back"

"But the half breed females are thought to be… with Joham…?" Jane murmurs, releasing me.

"As much as Joham is a scientist…." Aro sighed "He is father and we can only hope that science does not win over morality in that regard. We can only hope that Huilen's loneliness will trump her pride and she will go to her nephew's father for assistance on the matter. How else, can I lure him back here without his _dogs…_"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CARLISLE CULLEN**

There wasn't much hope for ever finding him, bringing him back to me… or so I kept telling my self.

I had to tell myself this because wasn't it obvious that Edward remaining there would ensure that we could all be safe? It was, was it not.. and yet I found myself wading in dangerous thoughts, comparing myself to another father who allowed his son to sacrifice himself for the greater good of innocent souls. And here we were, the holy trinity with out Jesus gone on a cross to Volterra.

Here we were in partial state of bliss, with each day that we moved and breathed and lived, a day we wondered if he too was alive as we were. As dead and damned and eternal, as we were…

"You are thinking about him" Leah sighed, resting her head between my neck and shoulder, the heat of her already working me up.

"Yes" I sighed "More and more each day…"

"You said she reminded you of him" Leah murmured, her legs stretching out on either side of me, and her body held firm against my back as she hugged me and engulfed me in heat. She kissed the back of my neck and I shuddered before she nudged the spot there.

"Jasper said it…" I said. "And then I realized how right he was… she is filling in the angst and melancholy that Edward would bring"

"She is moody" Leah sighed "Like a teenager, that is all… I was moody, hell… I was down right _unbearable…"_

"She thinks too much" I sighed.

"She is half vampire… you forget that constantly" Leah chuckled squeezing me strongly, gently.

"That's all I can think about"

"Then you think about it too much" Leah sighed "Let her be… let her argue with Seth and Jake, let her find Bart amusing and let her fight with Alice about clothes. She is bored, a half vampire Quileute who has only lived a few years and suddenly, wham… period… and then you decide to go and give her a talk on it? Horrific, simply horrific Carlisle…!"

"I am a doctor" I was tempted to sulk, something Leah brought out of me… little childlike nuances. I was over three hundred years old… "Who better than a doctor to talk to about such things?"

"Her mother" Leah said dryly.

Xx~xx~xX

"Doctor Cullen, normally with home schooled children we don't get these kind of… problems" Mr Finnigan, the headmaster says slowly-so obviously staring from my pale face to Olivia's sulking beautiful one "Normally, the home schooled kids get bullied…"

"I understand" I forced a smile.

"She sprayed ink all over his face… ink…?" Mr Finnegan looked at Olivia warily, as though he thought she was about to spray ink on his face too.

"It was an accident" Olivia murmured and I shushed her, ignoring her disdained look…. That made her look very much like Leah. "He said Bart and I were in an incestuous relationship, and I snapped the pen. His face was collateral… what could I do?"

"You have a enough sense to ignore that, Livia!" I whispered and she shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

"I understand the adjusting may be.. difficult, but it has been close to a year since she has been here Doctor Cullen…" Mr Finnegan sighed, rising up "But I trust that you will speak with her?"  
"Of course"

Maybe I shouldn't have talked to her about tampons and pads…

Xx~xx~xX

"You want to tell me the truth?" I asked her and she folded her arms petulantly over her chest, lower lip jutting out. "I'll take that as a no, but do you want to tell your mother at least?"

"No"

"Okay, how about Jacob… you like talking to Jake and Seth?"

"No"

"What is it Olivia?" I sighed, stopping the car at the entrance of the long winding driveway.

"I don't know" she said truthfully, looking up at me with cobalt eyes. She had grown considerably since she had started school but thankfully her growth had not been so obviously supernatural. She was startlingly beautiful but she didn't care for it much to the irritation of Rosalie and Alice. She had those large eyes and thick eyelashes of Leah's and my old mortal blue eyes… she was breathtaking, if only she would smile more…

"I just feel… sad" she whispered looking at her hands "Sometimes, it just comes to me. Like I am missing something terribly… something inside of me, a prominent piece… and its such a violent feeling, Daddy. I want to throw stuff and yell… and then at other times I feel scared. I feel like at any moment something is going to _get_ me…"

"How long have you been feeling like this?" I asked her.

"Since I was a child"

"Since you were a child!?" I guffawed staring at her in disbelief. "And you said nothing?"

She shrugged her shoulders and stared out to the forest wistfully.

"I used to have dreams too" she sighed "But they stopped. I feel like… there is a part of me… somewhere far away… and that part of me, it's in a cold room… or a frozen hell. Being tortured over and over again and its just crying out to me and I am here…"

She looked up at me when I didn't answer, I had simply been watching my young daughter in her pre-womanly beauty feeling pain that was only ever known and understood by ancient isolated soulless beings… I blinked quickly, unable to arrange my face into something comforting and instead held by the shock of her words that seemed to echo a feeling I once had, so long ago… before her mother…

"Do you know a feeling like that, Daddy?" she asked softly, her eyes haunting in their misery "Such sadness…?"

"I… used to" I admitted, my voice hoarse. "Maybe you need… more company…?"

"I wish there was someone like me" she said and then chuckled lightly "Maybe I need a little sister?"  
"Err…"

"Kidding Dad, Jake and Sethie are about as much immaturity that I can handle right now" she fell back in her seat theatrically "Maybe I will go and see Jake in town. I wonder if Seth is back… I hate it when they fight…"

"Do you know what they fight about?"

"Nope, but I think mum has a clue…" Olivia sighed. "Can I jump out here?"

"Sure" I smiled at her, wishing Leah hadn't given her so much freedom with her hair-she used the dark mass of silk to curtain herself from the world. She chucked her bag in the back seat of the Mercedes and closed the door carefully, giving me one wistful grin before zooming into the forest.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"You are pushing me away, Seth" Jacob insisted. He was flinging clothes off his couch quickly, chucking them into a corner and trying to create a semi neatness to the apartment. "What the hell is it, because it sure as hell isn't about the double date… and if it is, that was last fucking year! I don't know why you are still pissed about that!"

"I am not" Seth said truthfully, sighing heavily.

"Then… what the fuck?" Jacob sighed, throwing his bundled clothes with too much force into a corner before rounding on Seth "You don't want to hang out, if I make a plan for us to hang out… that's an issue… I have this apartment and you want nothing to do with it…"  
"I don't think we should be living together…" Seth whispered.

"Why?" Jake took a step forward and Seth hesitated, rethinking his little stop in Alaska. Wondering if he should have just carried on North… the run was to clear his mind, not abuse his heart. "You are like my brother, Seth… you and I are brother's. Quil is busy with Clair, Embry… well, he has his mom to deal with and everyone else is in imprint heaven…"

"Jake it isn't so simple…"

"Why?" he insisted, taking another step. They couldn't hear the soft knock behind them, the little huff of impatience behind the door.

"Jake…" Seth whispered, unable to look away from Jacob's determined gaze, drowning and suffocating in his own emotions. His ears thundering with the sound of his own heart beat, his face tingling with each wisp of Jacob's frustrated breathing.

"Just fucking tell me…!" Jacob growled and Seth lost his understanding, he lost his tormenting control. With one quick lurch, he had met Jacob's still moving lips and the door to the small two bedroom apartment was opened with a soft preternatural nudge that left the lock bouncing on the floor.

He held Jacob there, vaguely aware that he hadn't been flung off by Jacob and sent through the wall to crash into the neighboring apartment… vaguely aware that Jacob's anger and frustration had disappeared and the taller man was standing in _his _arms, bewildered and terrified for a change instead of him.

"Uhh..." she squeaked and that was when Jacob pushed him away violently, Seth stumbling backward and only barely managing to find his footing. With one violent wipe over his mouth with the back of his hand, Jacob looked at Seth in disbelief and something so ashamed that Seth couldn't afford to hold Jacob's gaze without falling in to the realization of what he had just cost himself.

"Olivia!" Jacob cried, smiling widely, manically.

"I wanted to come over and talk to you about this one time when I was a child and I woke up because of a dream I had about the moon but I can come back another time, no problem!" Olivia said in one rapid breath, leaving Seth and Jacob reeling from the vampire speed in which she delivered her sentence.

"Continue…!" Olivia made a grand gesture with her hand, twirling it in the air before backing away towards the door.

"No, no…Olivia…"Seth whispered, swallowing "Come back… wait… there was nothing… I was telling Jacob something…"

"And then he… err… fell…" Jacob tried.

"On your mouth?" Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow. They both remained silent then, looking away from each other and avoiding Olivia's wide shocked and mildly amused gaze.

"I'll leave" Seth said eventually, grabbing his jacket "I wasn't going to stay long either way, I just came to say… hi"

"Hi" Jacob murmured, staring at Seth's shoes instead of meeting his confused gaze.

"Hi" Olivia chirped.

"Err… hi" Seth sighed leaving. "I'll… see you two in La Push then?"

"Us two…?" Olivia frowned.

"Oh, yeah… Sam, he acknowledges you as a Quileute… finally, now that he knows you don't drink blood" Seth said softly, before shutting the door with such resounding finality.

"Haha" Jacob breathed, rubbing the back of his head "Well, what a sight…"

"For sore eyes" Olivia murmured, sitting down on the couch "You want to talk about it?"

"About… what? Your Uncle and I… I told you…":

"He fell and your mouth caught his mouth and saved his freefall?" Olivia smiled "I cant say I am surprised… I'm more surprised you didn't see it. Mum saw it, I know she did… if Seth didn't tell her"

"Tell her what?" Jacob frowned "There is nothing for Seth to tell… he is just… confused. All this imprinting and then him and I haven't imprinted…"

"You two spend a lot of time together" Olivia murmured. "Maybe you have imprinted on each other"

"Imprinting doesn't work that way, Ollie" Jacob sighed, plopping down next to Olivia, his heart still recovering and mouth still… tingling. "He is just confused… about something"

"You mean you are confused?" Olivia asked.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Jacob said gruffly.

"Remember the nightmares I used to have as a kid?" Olivia said.

"Oh, when you were a kid, man… that was so long ago, what was it… last year…?" Jacob chuckled.

"Whatever, but you remember I used to have them all the time right…?"

"Hmm"

"I stopped" Olivia said.

"You sound disappointed by that?" Jacob asked.

"Those nightmares…" Olivia sighed, trying to call on one of them, but they were like all dreams do with time, faded and dying. "…it felt like they were my gateway into another world. And now that I don't have them, I feel like that world has exploded… I feel anxious, like I don't know what is going on… is that world still in war or has it succumbed to the evil it was in?"

"You need to concentrate on your math homework" Jacob muttered "Trying to cross worlds through nightmares… Ollie, seriously?"

"School is pointless for me" Olivia grumbled, folding her arms over her chest defensively "It's frustrating and humans are cruel… very cruel… if it wasn't for Bart I would have quit a long time ago. I have to keep him safe"

"You don't have to keep Bart safe" Jacob sighed.

"I do!" Olivia insisted. "No one gets him… but me… and he gets me too"

"He doesn't _get_ you" Jacob sighed again, rolling his eyes "He just leaves you to your thoughts… because he doesn't _actually _care or understand them!"

"That _is_ getting me!" Olivia breathed. "Jake, you don't understand Seth because he is different… because he does and feels things differently. That's what makes Seth and I the same… everyone else cant ever know or begin to comprehend why we are the way we are because they aren't us. They aren't the only one of their kind… the only one in a group of people-immortal or otherwise, who is unique. He is the only one in the pack, who has never had a girlfriend …"

"Embry's never had a girlfriend…" Jacob muttered "Quil too"

"Only because they have reason not to have a girlfriend… Quil has Claire and Embry is over working himself with his mother… _you_ told me this, Jake!" Olivia said.

"Could you act less… mature" Jacob grumbled covering his eyes and trying to banish Seth's hypnotic gaze staring through him "Could you like Hannah Montana and have a crush on some poor boy?"

"Why does the boy have to be 'poor' for me to crush on him?"

"He'll have to put up with me, Emmett, Jasper and… err, Seth, now wont he?" Jacob looked at Olivia from the corner of his eye. She sulked, her full lips pressed together and eyes an odd whitish blue in the light. He thought, for a second, that no one would ever be good enough to him for her…

"Why are you smiling?" Olivia asked.

"Only because you are so beautiful" Jacob chuckled and Olivia rolled her eyes. "Except when you do that, roll your eyes… you look like Leah"  
"My mother is gorgeous"

"You are kind of biased kid"

"She bagged an ethereal beautiful vampire?" Olivia grinned. "She must have something working for her"  
"We are still undecided on whether Carlisle was raped or coerced into sex" Jacob muttered.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Okay, establishing Olivia Cullen as a character was surprisingly hard. Little poor rich girl syndrome..lol! Actually, I do think she would have a bit of that as well as being bored out of her mind as a being with unlimited energy sort of stuck in 'normal teen mode'. **

**If you are cheering on for team JacobSeth, please… please… don't get to invested.**


	9. Embers of an Inferno

**THE EMBERS OF AN INFERNO**

She had never thought she would completely forgive her nephew for her immortality, even though she knew completely that he was not the cause of it... well, not in his understanding. At times she thought him them most selfish creature from birth, to understand that if he did not bite her that he would be doomed to live and grow alone in the dark forests.

At times she thought he was as naïve in his birthing as he was in his immortality, to think a bite would have no consequence... to let instinct be something as cute and adorable as a punching babe. Nothing about immortality was adorable, nothing about vampirism was cute... and nothing about Nahuel was forgettable.

She had searched the jungles frantically, terrified stray maidens and young men, harassed the elderly; had they seen her nephew, a beautiful angel with a perplexed gaze? She hated him once, but not now as he was away from her sights... she wanted him back, desperately.

But how desperate was she...?

"We would gladly return him to you" the pale vampire told Huilen "We would gladly gift wrap him and send him on his way..." she thought he was lying, but she also realised she was out of options. As much as she had held on to every memory of her sister and family-the realisation that Nahuel was truly her family and she had been so cruel to him for multiple centuries in favour of punishing an elusive being through a son, a son that had rebuked him regardless. The only person, who had been punished, was herself and Nahuel in this relationship of theirs that she had deprived of full affection...

"What is it you want...?" she growled, ignoring the more muscular vampires snigger at her accent, his eyes roving her traditional attire and braided head. She could see his thoughts through his eyes, as he gazed at her-savage, he was laughing. Wild and untamed, unsuited to venom...

"His sister" the short vampire said, spat-all pleasantries gone. "Just one... we know he has a dozen of them"

"He does not have a dozen!" she was unsure "And regardless... I do not know where they are. They come to Nahuel and disappear as suddenly as they appear and as Nahuel is not with me... they would not come near me at all"  
"But maybe... if you inquired with their father?" he asked innocently and her eyes widened, her distrust prickled further.

"I do not know what that an even looks like!" she half lied, for she knew his height and hair colour. She had simply refused to look at him when he had come to seek his son out, refused to speak to him although his ringing melodious baritone was engraved in her mind-narrative to all her waking vampire nightmares.

"I am sure you will make due with whatever... resources... you have" he looked around the dense forest, at the vines and ivy crawling on thick branches.

"Even if I find him..." she began and the burly vampire tutted, waving a thick finger in her face.

"You will find him dear, if you give a damn about your nephew because quite frankly... he is taking up space. There are other prisoners we are expecting to put up in his cell who are of a higher priority and the Volturi does not release... for nothing. Think of it as bail, or else we will find some other place to put him... be it were there is no air or mass amounts of fire, we will find a place for your nephew"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

There weren't many things about Alaska that I would miss, although it had been my home for a good six years. Maybe Bart, I would miss him... but this move to Forks was as advantageous to our immortal living as it was advantageous to learning of my Quileute heritage. I had already missed three days of school because frankly, there was no amount of convincing my classmates that my new height was a week of growth spurts completely natural and normal...

Gone were the bony shoulders, much to my relief. Gone was the odd rectangular shape, much to my father's chagrin and with it, a new understanding of my supernatural seventeen year old body.

My room was bare, everything stacked in boxes. I knew there was nothing in here that I would miss, that I would need when we arrived in Forks... five years was too short a time for my aunts and uncles to return to Forks, but just barely a good time frame for Doctor Carlisle. Would I miss the coddling, the vampire lack of privacy... maybe, but Alaska wasn't that far of a run and I was, after all... a 'big girl'. Big girls get to throw effective tantrums to get their way...

I pierced the night, zoning in on the little bush with a few picturesque rocks surrounding-where the little fox lay sound asleep probably, listening to the sounds of the rain. It had had children now, adorable little burnt orange miniatures with black tipped triangle ears and matt button noses, with bushy velvety tails to add to its elegance.

It was sad, and a fact to my personality as an immortal only child, that I would miss the fox more than I would ever miss Bart or that one girl in science class who insisted on speaking to me. Daddy said it was part of being immortal, a subconscious detachment to humans... he said it was our way of protecting our hearts from being attached to beings who would forget us and then die, and leave us to walk this earth with their presence forever engraved in our memories.

Of course, Mom thought he was being melodramatic and said I was simply good with my own company... like she had been. She had never been one for girly talks, pillow fights and book clubs. I thought her best friend was Jacob to some extent, maybe Rosalie when they weren't bickering about Rosalie smothering me and Leah treating me like I was already an adult.

So much for trying to be normal, so much for trying to blend in... So much _wasted_ time; humans were not typical creatures, that much was evident to me. It was rather a funny thought, to think that my vampiric father was more of a human than I, the girl with the beating heart and blue eyes. I wouldn't tell him that I thought of human's as... well, separate, never including myself with them (I could only imagine the lengthy counselling session he would conduct on that, and my imagination was always more lacking than reality). It was a dream I had long realised would never be reality; human's could hurt, could bleed, could feel and touch in ways that were either duller or more acute than I ever could.

They could be cruel in the most unnecessary manners, they could be philanthropic in the most bewildering ways and I...

I was lost in my mind, lost in my emotions, a piece of me fractured and fissured off, rendering me immune to such things. And that was why I had liked Bart out of all of them, because he was the most normal human with regards to my own frayed disposition.

Bart ... maybe I would visit Bart when I came to see my Aunts... after the fox of course.

Xx~xx~xX

"She should go to the school on the reservation" Leah insisted. It was strange, sitting in the Mercedes with my parents in front, alone. Like we were really a normal family. It was strange that the one opportunity we had to be normal, was after I had realised that being normal was so overrated.

Human this, human that... don't forget your humanity, Olivia-like it was a hat, or something you wore for everyone to see.

"What school do you want to go to, Olivia?" Dad peered at me from the review mirror, his ochre eyes swimming with humour although his wife was in the middle of having a sulking fit.

"I don't know" I sighed "The one closest to a forest?"

"Forks High has a thick forest on it's left side, only a two minute human walk..." it was funny how they insisted we were all just human's... lost in our vampirism, when they insisted on referring to things as 'human pace' or 'human distance' or the classic 'human food'.

"You see, the Reservation is surrounded by forest and you won't look so odd walking into the trees!" Leah grinned triumphantly, giving Dad a 'you got served' look.

"Have you sorted it out with Sam?" Dad asked innocently and Mom frowned.

"No" she said "He said he was 'over it'"  
"Hmm, last time I really met him..." Dad said coolly, his tone controlled "He sank his teeth into your spine"

"When did you get sneaky?" Mom grumbled folding her arms over her chest and slouching in her seat, glaring out the window at the zooming trees "It doesn't suit you"  
"I believe it was you, who said... I needed to try different shades of grey"  
"You and I both know I meant something totally different" Mom murmured winking at Dad and officially signalling that it was time for me to resume my internal monologue of the displeasures of living with the eternally young and forever hormonal.

Xx~xx~xX

"Pick any room..." Dad smiled, pleased by my awestruck gaze at the modern structure, a stark difference to our classical home in Alaska. "Just... not the main"  
"Of course" I told him, leaving them to the unpacking.

I try to visualize the type of house it was before, entering its vast light filled _empty spaces_ in shock-maybe I had thought they would just leave the furniture unattended to, just sitting and awaiting my arrival since my birth. I want to know what it looked like so desperately and so suddenly that I pray that there is a picture of some function or other in this house (the likelihood of that was... well, unlikely). I want to know how they lived before I was conceived, before Dad met Leah and had his immortality irrevocably changed.

As it is now, in the coldness of its emptiness- my mind fills with a single image of a past where I didn't exist, were Carlisle was alone; silence. Vampires were the quietest beings I knew, and as I touched everything and smelt dust and fading unrecognised scents-I could see it as just that. Silence, whispers and boredom-or was I being vain to think that all the excitement started with me?

Surprisingly, the bedrooms were furnished-beds that had never been lain in I imagined (leaving out other functions of beds besides sleeping...), wardrobes and dressers, lush carpets and antiquities from various era's... ancient compliance to their never ending living.

The bedroom door at the end of the corridor is shut. It lies to the east, right by the forest I am sure. The door is made of different wood from the others, something about its singularity causing it to thrum and breathe against the deathly blandness of everything else. Masculine elegance, a dark glossy timber with a brushed iron handle that I am so sure, in a moment of childish excitement, that if I turned it and pushed the door open... it would reveal something magnificent!

I open it, my eyes shut and step inside.

I can smell it, something... I like the smell. The forest seeps through the shut windows, I imagine. When I open my eyes, I am hit momentarily with the brightness seeping through large windows opposite the wall.

I can hear myself gasp-the room is empty and devoid of magnificence save for the view of the forest. No clues, like the other bedrooms. The wall is fixed with shelving, wood a similar colour to the door and the floor is spread with dark beige carpeting-the only two distinguishing features the room offers past the strange barrier of the wall-window to the outside world.

"Olivia!" Carlisle stops by the doors threshold, white hands gripping the door frame. I hadn't realized I had been twirling in the middle of the room, a smile on my lips and Dad's abrupt announcement ceased my dancing and banished the smile, my hand going over my mouth in a confusing shame.

Had I been enjoying the clear space? And why would my enjoying it be shameful-was I desecrating this space, committing blasphemy to some higher God? The look in his eyes, in my father's eyes, made me believe this so thoroughly that I didn't dare remove my hand from my mouth.

"Did she find a room?" my mother's voice sang up to Carlisle and I-her voice caught between a gentle laugh and enquiry-a contradiction to Carlisle's wide eyes and inability to enter the room.

"Carlisle?" Leah asked from behind Carlisle, and he stiffly stepped aside so Mom could enter, never following her in.

"Was this not a bedroom?" I asked softly, removing my hand and pointing it casually around the room, ignoring the tenseness in the act.

"I thought you would choose a room closer to your mother and me?"

"She isn't a child" Leah said "Not so much any longer, anyway... Carlisle, seriously, we don't have to be connected by the hip. This is a time for her to grow on her own accord now that her preternatural growth has slowed to stagnancy. No seventeen year old should be by their parents bedroom... especially _us_"

"Jasper and Alice's old room has a lovely view?" Carlisle smiled pointing behind him "It's already furnished Olivia"

"Well, it _is _furnished already, Ollie" Leah said and I cringed at 'Ollie'. Only Jacob was allowed to be a clown about my name...

"Was this a bedroom once" I insisted and Carlisle sighed, taking a step inside tentatively, like he expected to suddenly burst into flames.

"It was..." he began turning to look at me, his eyes deep and pained.

"Edwards?" Leah finished sombrely, her hand reaching out and clutching Carlisle's hand. "Ollie, maybe the second bedroom isn't so bad...?"  
"No if she likes it, if she likes this particular room..." Dad smiled "Then it is hers"

"We can go furniture shopping?" Leah tried for excited but we both knew any shopping would be met with impatience and huffing by both of us-whether Alice was there or not.

"What happened to the furniture that was in here?" I asked.

"It is in the cottage" Carlisle said "But if you think you could have similar tastes with Edward, I will have it back in here by the time return from the bon fire"

Xx~xx~xX

"Bella is so annoying..."

"Mom, she can't be that bad"  
"No, you are right" Leah nodded "She is worse"

"You are just used to hanging out with wolves and vampires and having freaky teenage wolf vampire babies to talk to" I muttered and Leah shrugged.

The house was boring, the police car parked outside it equally unimpressive and beside it I thought I recognised Sue's truck.

"You ready?" Leah asked, taking in a sharp breath and shaking her arms as though she was heading into a boxing match.

"They are just humans"  
"Never ever make that mistake with Sue" Mom grinned at me "She huffs and puffs just as bad as any wolf"

Xx~xx~xX

I was vaguely aware that I was trying to hide behind my mother, like I was a toddler and not a seventeen year old super freak. Of course, it was easy to shrink away thanks to Leah's height but it all fell to nothing when Sue demanded to see me and Leah shoved me into my grandmother's awaiting arms.

She hugged me, squeezed me, shook me and pinched my cheeks-all of these things were harmless, of course, but the shock and surprise of being 'manhandled' like this made me allow her each motion with bewildered little squeals.

"Oh, look at you!" Sue breathed, touching my hair "You look Quileute!"  
"Was that all you were worried about, Mom?" Leah droned, rolling her eyes and sticking her hand out when who I could only presume to be Charlie Swan came over to her awkwardly (unsure on whether to hug or wave at Mom). "Charlie"  
"Leah" Charlie held Leah's hand in his larger one, before his eyes widened-no doubt feeling his bones rubbing together in his wrist. She let go o his hand and waved me over to her.

"Mom, let her go... she looks like she is going to hurl" Leah sighed. "Charlie... meet Olivia"  
"How do you do?" I put out my hand and Charlie looked at it in confusion, before staring at me suspiciously.

"She is a Cullen" he stated.

"Yes I am" I said, dropping my hand and wiping it on my pants.

"But she looks and is too old to be..." he looked at Leah and behind me I could feel Sue making some gesture at him, and he eventually dropped it, muttering about his hunger and stalking off to the dining room.

"Well, you are just in time" Sue grinned "Dinner, is just about ready and Seth and Bella will be here shortly"

Xx~xx~xX

This was not awkward one bit.

"Seth, stop prodding that...!" Sue hissed and Seth let out a weary sigh, dropping his fork distastefully back onto his plate. "Oh, come on! I haven't seen my only son in ages and this is how he behaves?"  
"I am not hungry" Seth muttered, avoiding my curious gaze and looking deliberately at Isabella "How you been, Bella?"  
"Good" Bella breathed, prodding her own food and failing to be surreptitious about staring at me. she lifted her fork up and missed her gaping mouth and sent some of her rice up her nose before sniffling and spluttering-dropping her own fork back down onto her plate in shock.

"No one is hungry?" Sue asked giving me a pleading look "How is your steak, Olivia?"  
"Lovely" I chewed it thoroughly, smiling while I was at it and ignoring my immature mother's amusement. I wanted to cough it all up, gag and hurl... come up with some story on how I was a vegetarian...

"She is white" Bella muttered and the table was shocked into stillness for a moment "She looks like a white blue eyed Leah"

"Note the blue eyes" Seth said indicatively "Before we state any other primary colours, Bella"

"Note the She-Wolf" Leah growled "Before we stumble into any graves, Bella"

Xx~xx~xX

"What was with Bella?"  
"Nothing" Mom muttered, tying her clothes loosely to her leg. "Care for a race?"  
"You know I can't beat you when you are in wolf form" I sighed "Now, you going to tell me what was up with Charlie Swan's daughter"  
"One of few humans who know about vampires and werewolves" Leah said casually stretching lightly "Next stop... Sam Uley's dungeon"

"Is he going to be all weird too" I asked, although I had heard enough about Sam to know he was anti me, anti Leah and anti Cullen.

"He was born that way" Leah sighed, skipping into the air and landing a wolf. She gave me a deliberate look, followed by a devilish grin before bounding of into the woods.

I don't know why I bothered trying, maybe I hoped being older would mean I was faster... but she won in the end, and I was left like I always was with these races... unimpressed.

Xx~xx~xX

"I didn't expect her to look... so... much like you?" Sam was a tall man, with all the signs of a Quileute wolf from his hair to his skin. He gave me one last look over and said to Leah "She has blue eyes?"  
"Her father's" Leah said "He was a man once"

"Certainly not during said conception" Quil snickered.

"How is the paedophile support group helping these days?" Leah asked conversationally and Quil scowled at her.  
"Can't be as effective as the Zombie Addiction Group" he Mombled, folding his arms over his chest. I wanted to ask him if that was the best he could come up with, like Jake always did with me but he gave me one suspicious look and my mouth closed shut.

I wasn't Quileute. I wasn't a wolf. I didn't get to joke and bounce around like Mom and Quil were doing with the other wolves. I was the vampire girl here, the being that had almost caused a war between the Cullen's and wolves and split the pack in my own way.

"Will you be eating at the bonfire?" Emily asked, smiling a little. She had managed to stop her insistent string of questions on Mom's life and my stay in Alaska and school.

"What we all want to know..." Quil asked bouncing Claire on his knee while holding up a Cinderella story book "Is will you be having Bambi or a steak?"

"No third choice?" I asked grinning at him toothily-an ill timed joke with Claire on his lap it seemed, because he scooped her up into his arms immediately, garnering a 'hey, Quil!' from the little girl.

"Olivia, Quil wants to at least live till Claire is eighteen!" Bradley laughed, ignoring Emily's 'not when Claire is around please'.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Quil frowned.

"I had no idea she was... hot... I mean, part vampire and all!" Collin nudged Bradley and I shrank closer to a chortling Leah-evidently she was impressed with me too. Sam smiled abruptly at me, or maybe it was in my general direction because when our eyes met... he quickly looked away and righted his expression.

"Bon Fire is ready" he said "We should head there now, can't risk being late... you know how touchy these elders are when our neighbours are around"

"Right, it's the elders and not the red neck Alpha" Mom muttered.

Xx~xx~xX

It was different, hearing the story of how the Quileute wolves came to be from Billy Black's rich voice. The majesty and regal forms that sprung to my mind seemed so implausible with the rowdy wolves sitting beside each other and their soul mates, nudging and shovelling and being... so free.

Nothing about them was like vampires, and it made me wonder if I would have been different if allowed to grow alongside such... unreservedness, brawling and bickering, laughing and growling. No control, no fear of losing said control... anger was what let the wolf out, but it was something natural altogether.

I had never felt more vampiric in my life, although I had no care for blood. I felt cold in comparison to such heat, I felt lifeless in the face of their passion, I felt ugly in the face of their fierce beauty... and I was jealous. I had never been jealous save for normalcy but I had over come that. My life was my own and it was my own objective to create a normal environment for it to flourish.

But I was jealous of them. They didn't need to think and analysis their world like I did; worrying about everything and seeing secrets and shadows in blaring light. They didn't have a vampire mind, subdued by something vaguely human and thus, each thought turned into a billion teeming ants running over each other...

"Seth" I whispered, nudging Seth's arm. He was my only comrade in the midst of the laughter, sitting silently to my left while Mom had a heated discussion with Sam over his continuous apologising for 'biting her back'. At one point, Mom yelled that she was going to make Sam Uley my godfather to prove she was over it...

But she had back tracked and muttered that title was giving to someone else already before snarling for him to just 'get over it' like she had.

"Yeah?" Seth looked at me eventually, tearing his eyes from the flames in the middle of the large circle of merriment, tearing his eyes from the flames that hid Jacob opposite us.

"Do you think it would be insensitive of me to ask Carlisle about Edward Cullen?" I asked "I mean, he is obviously still..." was grieving the right word? Was Edward Cullen supposed to be finally dead? What was the story after he left with the Volturi...?

"I don't think he is ready" Seth sighed, smiling a sad wistful smile "I don't think any of them are... time is different for vampires, Olivia. A few years can be a few seconds to them, I suppose. Why the interest?"  
"Family history, in-depth" I muttered, frowning at the flames with Seth "I don't like the summarized version. Did he abandon us or did he leave to save us... It's always two sides depending on who tells it"  
"You shouldn't listen to the Quileute version" Seth said "We are a little biased"

"But Jake is the one who said it like that!" I breathed, ignoring Seth's cringe at Jacob's name.

"Well, Jake is biased too"  
"Why would Jake be compromised with anything to do with Edward?" I hissed.

"Because of Bella" Mom stated, looking at Seth grimly before turning around to resume her pleading with Sam to be a man about his guilt.

"Well, if you want to know about your missing relation" Seth said sombrely "Then Bella is probably the one to go to. If someone knew him outside the Cullen's, it would be her"

Xx~xx~xX

He had organised the room back to how it was by the time we had returned, just like he had promised. It was... _him._ Shelves stacked with books and cd's, ancient novels and parchments that Dad probably gave to his first new born.

Seeing all of this, bare and alive in the once empty space rearranged my vision of silent vampire living. It would have been silent, yes... of course, they had superior hearing why would they want such ruckus and noise like the wolves.

But there would have been him, and his presence would have given their immortality some form of vivid noise that would have ensured that each era they passed through they left with a little tale of carry them into the next.

Nothing about this could fit into the idea of who I thought I was-but it consoled the absence of that realisation that was yet to come to me, that understanding of what it meant to be truly and completely 'me'. To be Olivia Camille Cullen.

There is no bed, but a golden couch and as I lay on it, staring at the ceiling with my hands tucked behind my head... I was certain that Edward Cullen was more than just a vampire who went to the Volturi-whatever the reason was for his departure to the enemy.

He had a personality, a face and a history in Forks with all its people and I was going to find out about it.

One way or the other.

Xx~xx~xX

"I wanted to apologize..." he said, looking around the shed; from the bare light bulb hanging from the rickety roof to the panelled make shift windows. He looks everywhere, but at Jacob Black's drinking form working had on two biked in the dead of night. "About... before. In Alaska"

"Okay" Jacob said, pausing his wrenching and sitting upright on the stool before reaching over for his beer and taking a long drink. Seth watched this action from the corner of his eyes, feeling Jacob's burning gaze on his face. "Apologize then" Jacob commanded.  
"I don't want to... lose you" Seth whispered "If I say... what I am going to say, please promise me I wont lose you"  
"It's up to you" Jacob said "Really, Seth. It is up to you on whether you will lose me or not"  
"You know what I mean" Seth snapped.  
"This apology sucks"

"They are just feelings!" Seth laughed manically, waving his hands in the air and pacing. Jacob remained watching Seth's bright eyes and blotching skin, the fear and anxiety "Stupid feelings" Seth groaned fisting his hair and shaking his head "Stupid fucking feelings..."

"Stupid feelings" Jacob agreed, rising fluidly and carefully walking over to Seth.

"I just want them to go way" Seth sighed, letting Jacob remove his hands from his hair, letting Jacob pull him closer by the loop of his jeans and kiss his neck. Seth's own hands fell and went over Jacob's shoulders, roving and digging.

"Let's make them go away" Jacob breathed, capturing Seth's mouth in his and undoing Seth's zip before pulling the smaller man closer. He was unsure on what he wanted, but he didn't stop... he had been drinking since he arrived in La Push for Olivia's little welcome Bon Fire...

Trying not to think about Seth.

And thinking about him regardless.

And now, they were in his shed and he knew he was somewhere over drunk and Seth...

"Ngh, Jake..." Seth pushed him off him, gulping down his desires "We should stop... you've been drinking and... And... You liked Isabella, no not liked you freaking loved her and we are here..."  
"Shut up" Jake sighed, rocking back forward and pulling Seth's jeans away and pushing them down before pushing his hands down Seth's boxers and rubbing hard, catching each moan and groan "Just, you and I both know we need this"

"I need you" Seth whispered.

"I need you too"


	10. Little Red Riding Hood

**LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

_**I hope to keep you safe from me, my one love. I know the love I have for you is unorthodox, unacceptable in any society. I am selfish, so very selfish…**_

_**I burnt your tree down, and wrote this with its ashes. If I could burn myself… I would write so much to you, with my ashes. And maybe,**_

_**Time would forgive me.**_

_**For loving you.**_

_**Maybe, you would forgive me… for dooming us**_

_**By loving you.**_

_**E.**_

I read it over and over again, touching the worn paper-it must have been decades old-flipping the paper that showered a half sketch of a young girl with doe eyes staring miserably out to the world. She looked so familiar, the girl… but the lines of the sketch and the elegant scroll of the pained letter at the back didn't match. The sketch was done by another hand, I thought. Or maybe, in a different time… a different state of mind.

The woods were silent, now that I had neared the house. And the letter I had found, that I was sure belonged to Edward Cullen, was stuffed back in my pocket… after I had sniffed the ink once more and smelt peach blossom.

I pulled my hoody up, the smell of exotic peach spice still warm in my nose.

Xx~xx~xX

I had never seen a red eyed vampire before. It was all so brief; arriving home from the forest and stepping into the lounge, only to be hurried up the stairs and to my room by mom. But I had seen her, the beautiful woman with the almond eyes and unmistakable olive tone through the pallid color of bloodless skin. She had seen me too, and her eyes had widened with surprise as mine had.

"What is going on?" I whispered, refusing to be pushed further into Edward Cullen's old room and maneuvering my way easily out of Leah's hold. She didn't have a chance of being stronger than I was when she was in her human form and I had now learnt how to be appropriately insolent about that fact, without causing her to go 'she-wolf' on me.

She sighed, not the impatient or weary one that she usually gave me when we were playing our rightful roles as mother and daughter-this was anxious and it made her heart stutter. She was afraid, and naturally this immediately made me tense up by the door-comically frozen there with my ear placed on the wood, trying to pick up Carlisle and the strange vampire woman's rapid soft speech.

I stepped back from the door and looked at Leah.

"Volturi?" I mouthed to her and she shrugged her shoulders, pressing her lips. She beckoned me over to her, opening the window and leaning on the ledge. She pointed down and gave me an indicative look and I looked back at the closed door, suddenly fearful for Daddy…

I jumped out easily, landing silently but awkwardly on the wet ground. Leah slipped her body out the window and flung herself onto the tree that leaned to the left of the face of the house, climbing down lithely before jumping to the ground. She looked at me again; the same deep etched apprehension in her eyes and then silently made her way through the woods, keeping a quick jog that was torturously slow for me.

"What is it mother!?" I hissed moving ahead of her and blocking her path "We are far enough that that vampire can't hear us, so you can tell me!? Is it the Volturi? What is it…!?"

"Nothing" Leah shrugged her shoulders in the same half defeated manner, looking back at the house peeping through the thick trees back at us. "And yet it is everything I had ever feared, Olivia!" she whispered urgently, holding my shoulder and squeezing hard enough that it throbbed.

"Is it the Volturi or not!" I repeated, taking her hand from my shoulder and gripping it "I am old enough!"

"You are six" she said, cocking her head derisively and looking at me through narrowed eyes "You haven't lived, you haven't known true joy and true pain yet Olivia… so don't you dare think you can control or help any situation just because you _look_ seventeen!"

"Argh!" I let her hand go, fisting my hair and glaring at her. We stared each other down, my breathing coming out in quick rasps while she heated the air with each breath.

"I don't think she is with the Volturi" she said eventually "It's just…" she looked back at the house and let out another sad sigh "Red eyed leeches… Ollie, they are the _worst_ kind"  
"Your husband is a leech" I said and she looked at me, smiling wistfully.

"I wish you would turn into a wolf sometimes" she said and I folded my hands-I had been hearing that wish ever since I started hanging out with the wolves in La Push. "That woman's name is Huilen and she is from South America. She says she heard from a distant family relation that is also a vampire, that he had seen a yellow eyed white vampire in the forest once… one that was not troubled by the blood of humans. And of course, she was intrigued by this for she wanted the cure, she wanted… redemption. She says her sister died for this immortality and she wants nothing to do with the blood"

"You don't believe her?" I asked.

"Jasper sent a text giving us a heads up on her arrival… this was why I told you to go hang out with Jacob and yet here you are…!" Leah scowled at me before she took her phone out and flipped it open as she ranted "Alice says she saw the woman leaving Forks after her arrival, and contacting this 'distant family relation' in South America… telling him of her findings, that there are truly vampires who shun blood and that was all he had indeed seen in the yellow eyed vampire in the jungle…"

"So she is harmless!" I said quickly, smiling nervously "She will go to Eleazar and he will lead her through the life style and maybe her family will join us!"  
"You see, no matter what you look like Olivia… you are six" she said this and it stung at my heart, because it was true. I wanted to believe this so desperately and childishly, that I willingly disregarded the chill that had spread through me at this Huilen's appearance in our lounge "She was sent to spy… maybe not by the Volturi…"  
"You don't know that!" I hissed, holding on to my desperate hope and allowing myself willingly to be its prisoner. If my only haven and understanding of the dangerous of this world was my childishness…

Then let me remain in the nursery. I wasn't prepared to know that everything they had warned me about, everything they had been working to prepare me for… was in fact, nothing but the truth. I didn't want to know how to handle a katana, or make use of the super powered guns Jasper and Emmett were secretly designing for me behind Carlisle and Leah's backs.

I wanted to walk through the woods, carefree and melancholic, thinking about worlds and mysteries while speaking to Jacob's voicemail about this (exactly what I had spent the day doing, after Jacob yet again, didn't answer my calls or texts).

"She is a red eyed leech" Leah said matter of fact, folding her arms over her chest. "Even if she were truly interested in Carlisle's lifestyle… you can't be here if she is here. And you weren't _supposed_ to be here, Olivia. Why are you not with Jacob?"  
"I… was with him" I lied.

"I think she will stay the night…" Leah whispered, glancing back at the house again "You can go to Sue's, okay… Seth… Argh, mum said Seth left and you need to be with wolves. Go to… no, Sam can't know Huilen is here… he'll have a cow"

"I'd already told Jake I was going to spend the night with him and Billy watching old movies" I lied with a smile on my face, which in turn brought out a genuine relieved smile on Leah's face.

"I need you to be safe" Leah said.

"I'll condomize" I said somberly and Leah's smile turned into a frown, her eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring. "It was a joke, relax…"

"You want me to relax when there is a vampire on our territory?!"

"Carlisle is a vampire"

"Father and husband to you and I!" she snapped, looking back at the house "Olivia, I am warning you… behave. _Please_"

Her phone beeped in her hand and she looked at it quickly "It's Jasper" she said. "Alice cant see further into Huilen's future. It… blurred out, she may leave us after a while-hopefully she will go back to South America, vegetarian or not, I don't give a damn!"

"I think you are making this more than it is" I said.

"I think you are a six year old know it all" she retorted "Now, get to Jake's now..."

"Wait!" I said quickly "What does she think _you_ are?"  
"Why, Carlisle's pet human of course…!" she grinned, jogging back to the house.

Xx~xx~xX

Of course, I wasn't used to Leah having panic attacks. Those were usually reserved for Dad and Rosalie. I didn't want to think that this was more, that this was some sort of game changer in my boring little immortal life. I was content in the woods of Forks, I liked having a small little family and spending my weekends helping Carlisle at the hospital, going to Billy's and fishing with him and Charlie while secretly trying to spy on Isabella…

I went to Emily's first, not caring for how weird her and Sam treated me.

"Ollie!" she said, her eyes widening and a smile freezing on her face when I tracked into her kitchen. She wrung a yellow dishcloth furiously in her hands, gulping hard and casting fleeting glances behind me… expecting Leah to follow behind me probably.

"Just me" I said, my voice sounding sulky. I cringed back from it, wishing my expression could move from matching my sulky voice to something cheerful-wishing I could act half as well as vampires and hide my suddenly easily disposable emotions.

She turned even more nervous at my aura and a tense minute of silence rolled over between us.

"Thought I would come and… hang out" I said stonily and she smiled weakly. I tried to smile back and gave up half way "Maybe you want to talk about being pregnant"  
"How do you know that!" she half hissed, a quarter accused and a quarter shrieked. I looked at her humored, and pointed at her still slightly flat belly, hidden behind the apron.

"Heart beat" I said "You are echoing"

"Does your mother know?" Emily asked, gulping and eyes wide and clear.

"No" I said, frowning at her "My mother's hearing is not nearly as keen as mine when she is in her human form. And why would it be a problem if she knew?"  
"It wouldn't be" Emily said quickly, throwing her painful frozen smile back on her scarred face. "I just… would have liked to tell her first"  
"You used to be close" I stated.

"She told you this?"  
"No, but behavior wise… you are always trying to _recover _something between the two of you" I said, hopping onto the stool by the small kitchen counter. "What happened?"  
"You know, phasing and the such" Emily lied turning around quickly and busying herself with the oven, opening it and pulling out a tray of muffins.

"Are the guy's coming over?" I asked her but she kept her eyes averted, plopping the muffins out carefully.

"No, these are for tomorrow" she said "Pack meeting"

"Jake didn't say anything"

"Well, Jake's been holed up in his room for a few days from what Sam told me" Emily said in a strange disapproving voice "Even after Sam told him about the new vampire scent…"

Xx~xx~xX

"Great, Olivia!" Billy rolled his wheel chair quickly towards me, his eyes bright and lips held firm. I closed the door slowly, surprised by his enthusiastic welcome and suddenly suspicious of it as he kept turning his head behind him, down the corridor. "Could you do me a favor, dear?"  
"Sure, what do you need" I asked adopting Jake's singing tone "Do you need something picked up way over my head, you want me to pick the truck up and park it on the roof or…"  
"Something a lot harder" Billy grumbled "Could you get my idiot son out of bed, sweetheart… I am hoping the sight of daylight would help to sober him up"

Xx~xx~xX

To say Jacob was not impressed by the sight of the sun moving through his window after I opened the curtains, would be the understatement of the century. He shot up, growling and shuddering and said in a terrifying voice "Close them, now…!"  
"I knew you were secretly Batman!" I said, imitating his gravelly voice. "You want to come and try and make me close them, Oh Drunken Alpha?"  
"Olivia, I have no time for this!" he snapped, flinging a large hand over his eyes and scowling underneath it.

"Looks to me like you have plenty of time, seeing as how you spend your times living your dreams in sleep"  
"Nothing but nightmares" he mumbled, falling back into his bed theatrically and covering his head with the sheet "Close the damn things and get out, I am in no mood for baby sitting barely human half-_some-things"  
_"Ouch" I murmured, sitting on the edge of his bed "That almost hurt… but what hurt the most was having an hour conversation with you… via voice mail"

He snored in reply.

"Jack Daniels" I murmured, reading the square bottomed bottle of alcohol, situated between over a dozen other bottles of different names and colors "Your room stinks Jake…" I said and his heart thrummed rhythmically-he was fast asleep once more.

I lay down on the tiny space his large body allowed, staring at his worn out ceiling and missing my room. I wondered what Daddy was telling Huilen, explaining to her about his 'pet' and her 'daughter', telling some half true lie about how his way of life allowed him to have such things as human pets. What sort of redemption could a vampire want? Redemption from killing human's to satiate the thirst? Jasper had said that the killing for blood wasn't normally something vampires born into vampirism with no 'Carlisle' ever thought about as much as grabbing a bite…

Humans were cattle to vampires. It was rare, extremely rare, they had explained-for any one vampire who had been drinking human blood from their first flutter of eyes into immortality, to ever think back on their way of life with a bruised conscious. I understood Leah's suspicions with regards to Huilen's agenda from this angle, but a part of me-after I had calmed down that Huilen wasn't out to snatch me and whisk me to Volterra to be doomed like Edward-a part of me was intrigued by Huilen. A vampire, that wasn't a Cullen or of the Denali coven. A true _wild _vampire…

"Shoot, you are hot, Black!" I grumbled, nudging Jacob viciously so his body hobbled half way sideways before falling back on his back. He let out a hard snore, and muttered some nonsense that ended with a wistful 'Oh, Seth… I can't…'

I cringed, sitting upright immediately and glaring at him. His face was contorted in anguish and this wiped my annoyance away; it wasn't some weird 'I Love Seth' dream. It was a confession on why the true Alpha of the Quileute was locked away in his room, covered by ragged sheets… ragged…

"You phased in here, didn't you" I muttered, looking around me at the evidence of a giant wolf being in Jacob's tiny room. I glanced back at his form carefully and noted he had managed to put some shorts on some time after his phase…

Maybe that was around his nighttime activities; he would need to be somewhat clothed to get a bottle of Jack and Johnny. I picked up the Johnny Walker and sniffed it closely, trying to distinguish its smell from the stinging aroma of bitter alcohol. It stung just as badly, the closeness of the smell climbing through my nose and stinging my eyes. I pushed the bottle away and covered my nose with my hand, trying to scoop a pocket of fresh air. I skipped over clothing and bottles towards the window, and pushed the rusted frame open and inhaled the cool outside air before braving the bottle again.

"Argh!" the liquid was repulsive, and I puckered my lips immediately after bringing the bottle to my mouth. It burned down my throat and stung my tongue. I glared at the littered floor, glaring at Jacob second and then at the heap of clothes in the corner.

I thought about how calming my room was, because it was always organized and smelling fresh… if Jacob was going through another Seth related episode, living in a dump yard of a room wasn't going to help it. I set about cleaning his room, moving quickly and annoyed through his garbage while he snored merrily away.

"Shorts go in here?" I said to myself, folding his shorts and opening a tricky drawer. The drawer refused to budge momentarily, and when I slammed it shut forcefully, he woke up roaring blue murder.

"The fuck….!" He bellowed, flinging the tattered sheet of him and skipping towards me. He looked around his tidied room confused momentarily-probably thinking that it wasn't his room and praying he hadn't stumbled into the wrong house-then he looked at me, eyes narrowed and lips twisted "Olivia!"

"I was cleaning…" I hated how scared my voice came out, I hated that I dropped the other clothes in my hand like they burned and I hated that I took a step back when he took a step forward. He staggered towards me, still frowning.

"Leave, now!" he growled.

I stared at him confused, looking from his bed to the clean floor and back at his enraged face.

"Why are you angry?" I asked him, my voice still shaky and low and my insides still uneasy. "Did I do something… why wont you return my calls? I want to talk to you, Jake"  
"I am not your age"  
"I am seventeen" I whispered.

"You are a six year old sheltered brat who is confused by her own bratty emotions!" he took another step, his eyes were blood shot and lacking something distinctly Jacob. "Leave!"

"If this is you taking out your garbage on me, about Seth kissing you …!" I pushed him, my hands touching his blazing chest and he tottered backwards before rocking forward again.

"You don't know shit about Seth or anything…!" he snarled, pushing me hard with a large hand on my shoulder, hard enough that I too stumbled backwards.

"I know that you and Seth shared a kiss… and… and…" I wanted to hurt him too, because everything he had said had really hurt, now that those feelings could be processed fully. I understood that I was hurt, that this was what Bart must have felt like when those boys called him out on things that were half true… nothing any of the kids at school could have ever hurt me because none of it could have ever hoped to be true coming from them-they didn't know me.

But Jake… he knew, he knew what would hurt. And I learnt, so rapidly like I had always learnt and understood my environment, what would hurt Jake too.

"You know what your problem is?!" I asked him, adopting his vicious derisive scowl, both of us ignoring Billy's yell of 'is everything okay in there?'

"What!?" he snapped, his lips twisted into something hard and ugly.

"You liked it" I whispered softly and his eyes widened. "You liked it!" I repeated louder, pushing him with too much force so he went crashing into the bed hard and stared up at me disbelievingly "You liked it and you are scared that someone will know, that… that… Embry and Quil will know! You are scared the _pack_ will know how much you like Seth!"

"Ol…!" he glared at me, his lower lip shuddering and eyes bulging. I had never seen a wolf phase unexpectedly because of their emotions, because of their anger and as Jacob sat there in the middle of his bed, his eyes on me and light and anger flashing across them, his skin glowing redder and his body trembling and shimmering, the air sparking with electricity…

I learnt a lesson on fear. This was nothing like the fear I felt looking into Huilen's eyes, nothing like the fear I felt seeing my mother apprehensive, nor the fear I felt in knowing Emily was never comfortable with me and the sweet wife of Sam had secrets…

This fear was instinctual.

I feared for my _life._

"_Olivia_…!" he finally managed, but I could see the ripple coursing through him and I didn't stick around for him to return my shove as the russet wolf. I skipped out of the window, braking the frame around it and some of the wall, and tore through the air, fast and desperate, casting terrified glances over my shoulder and expecting the red wolf to be tailing me.

He never followed, and as I ran through the trees desperately and for minutes on minutes, aimlessly and impulsively with each step and turn through the woods… I entered a clearing, with a silently sobbing Isabella Swan sitting in it.

Xx~xx~xX

I stopped suddenly, my heart hammering and air knocking out of me with the abruptness of my halt. I was too far off for her to see me, but she had noticed the odd movement I was sure, for her head turned up and eyes squinted in my direction.

"Edward?" she rose abruptly from her crouching on the ground, dropping a folder to her feet. She took a step forward and I looked behind me, wondering if I should just disappear but my centre remained rooted with that one word. "Edward?" she said the word again and I turned to face her. I moved into her line of vision and pulled my hoody from my head.

"No" I told her.

"Leah?" she squinted at me, taking another step forward.

"No" I said again, looking at the folder on the dry grass. She had a little bag with it, strange little things lay around it… a tan jacket, little papers and a notebook. She frowned at me again, looking at me suspiciously, her heart stuttering and scent sweetening with her fear.

"Who are you!?" she demanded and I moved closer to her, a few feet away. "Oh… Oh…"  
"Olivia" I finished for her "We met twice, the third time you left Sue's through the back door when you heard me in the lounge"

She paled, gulped and looked at my shoes before looking up nervously. "How did you…?" she pointed behind me, from where she had seen me enter the clearing. "But I had known" she answered herself, shaking her head miserably.

"You had known that I wasn't human?" I asked her and she scoffed, rolling her eyes slightly.

"I suppose" she said disdainfully, walking back to her little circle of stuff. I followed her, looking back once more… listening intently for any duo footfalls. None came, and I prayed that after Jacob had phased, he had then phased back and alternated between Jack and Johnny before passing out once more… and maybe when we met again, he wouldn't remember our cruelty towards each other. "You look almost like Leah" she said.

"I know"  
"Except the nose" Isabella murmured so softly "It's a little… straight"  
"My father's nose, I suppose" I said imitating her disdainful tone experimentally.

"I know" she copied my impatient tone at the reminder of my resemblance to my mother. "But your eyes… and the waves in your hair, and the dimple… I wonder, if it is all your grandfather's"

"My grandfather's?" I asked her confused.

"Why, yes" Isabella looked up at me, she was sitting on the ground again, pulling her knees up to her chest. "If you had your grandmother's eyes… they would be green. Yes, they would be green"

"Which grandparents?" I asked her, sitting opposite her.

"Why, your father's…" she said, controlling her expression "He wouldn't have told you, now would he-he wouldn't have had the chance? Although I would have thought Carlisle would have told you by now…"

"What are you talking about?"  
"_Edward_" she said the name with such passion, her cheeks turning red and scent blooming around us. "I know… I know the truth. I have connected it! He is your father-"  
"You are mad!" I said matter of fact "Carlisle is my father. Always has been, always will be…"  
"But they left, and… and… Edward left me!" she stammered, crying and pointing at me. "They left with Leah! I know how Jacob and Seth went after them…"

"You obviously don't know much" I said "Or wasn't told much"

She peeked at me and narrowed her eyes "Carlisle is your father?"  
"Yes" I said slowly, nodding my head. She leaned back, still looking at me and something went through her, a sort of calm.

"Well…" she said, looking away and taking control of herself "You look nothing like Edward… I should have known… I should have… seen that part. Your nose, your dimple…"  
"Are my fathers" I finished for her in a low whisper "My eyes too"

"Carlisle?" she frowned "And Leah? Never!"

"Well, never say never" I waved over my form "Especially where there is proof"

"I mean, Jacob and Leah sure…" Isabella muttered to herself "But Carlisle?"

"And why not Edward?" I asked her. "You thought it was him to begin with, after all?"

"He was doing that thing at the Hospital with Carlisle and started talking about Seth and Leah Clearwater…" Isabella waved her hand in the air, as though the matter was dismissible although it had obviously been working in her mind since seeing me. "But obviously, he loved me. He loved me _completely_"

"They say he left to keep you safe" I said, twisting the version for her. There were so many versions, but one of them… had to be correct. One of them, had to explain his long elegant note sitting heavily in my pocket…

"That is exactly it" she whispered, picking up the tan jacket and smelling it. I leaned in curiously, sniffing in its direction experimentally, and the fading scent of that warmness from my room wafted from it. I leaned back rigidly, I felt like I had been slapped. Something about it, the jacket's soft fading scent, Isabella's reaction to me and her words that had followed, Huilen's arrival at my house, Jacob phasing uncontrolled…

All of it felt like I had been slapped, in that moment-so suddenly and rudely. My eyes were wide, and I could feel my every heart beat. I wanted to go home, I wanted to be away from the dead clearing and find my way in my room-his room with his letter and its peach scent-and I wanted Huilen to be gone, I wanted my mother to be calm and chatting with Sue on the phone and for Daddy to murmur on about the bible and medical miracles until I fell asleep on the couch…

"He will come back" Isabella said, cutting into my little panic attack.

"I made him leave you" I whispered. "My… existence…. You see, with Aro…"

"He would only leave because of me! To keep me safe, like you said… always the masochist, always so… selfless" she said airily, sighing into the jacket. I picked up a picture, looking at her carefully.

"Can I?" I asked her and she nodded.

It was folded in the middle, the picture. At first I thought it was only her; Isabella in a green dress, younger, thinner, a little better kept. But when I turned the other half out, smoothing the narrow rectangle into a wider rectangle… I saw him.

Well, his side view anyway was visible as he stared at Isabella. I could tell he was beautiful, his eyes hidden as I imagined them staring at Isabella with pure love. And his hair, a strange brownish red... nothing like what I had conjured in my mind. I thought about Isabella's height and my mind quickly filled in Edward's height with regards to hers in the picture.

He was tall, probably taller than Daddy-Carlisle was almost the same height as Leah.

"I have wanted to know about him" I told her, staring at the picture "So many sides to him; he left for you, he left for me, he left for his family… and he left for himself"  
"He left for me!" Isabella said vehemently.

"Maybe… I think, yes… he would leave because of love. Like any tortured prince" I smiled a little, remembering the old note I had found buried by the newly growing peach tree outside the house, opposite Daddy's office "But he could leave because of all of the above too"

"He was so worried about my soul" Isabella sighed. "It's just a stupid soul"

"Yes, stupid soul"

"Do you… do you know where he left to?" she asked slowly.

"Why, Volterra" I put the picture down finally. "To the Volturi"  
"The… Royal… vampires?"  
"Yes" I said. "Aro can hear thoughts with a touch, and if he touches Edward's hand… it will all fall apart. They will come for me…"  
"And they would come for me…" she said.

"And it would all fall apart" I said thoughtfully. "His one reason to go…"  
"Would be the one reason it would all fall apart" she whispered, but something in the way she said it contradicted my wistful tone. She seemed, more alive… awoken even.

"What a tale" I said.

"Of his love for me?"

"Of his love for you" I offered her romantic memory of her lover, her prince-I offered it its indulgence, but it was a tale of love and threats, different loves I was sure, not just of Isabella. Wars and vampires, Shapeshifters…

I looked around me, around the woods with new appreciation.

"_My…_" I said, smiling a little "Forks must have been a grand place to live in, six years ago"

"Six years ago?" she asked, pausing her packing of her little 'Edward Shrine'. "You are… six, aren't you… it's been boggling me…"  
"I am six" I said "But forever more, in a few days time… I will be seventeen, or eighteen. It's all a technicality in my physical"

"I envy you"  
"I envy _you_" I told her. "Fair princess, of the tortured prince"

Xx~xx~xX

"This may be a strange request" I began, leading Isabella out of the forest, carrying her bag and the tan jacket while she stumbled behind me. "But do you think I could stay with you?"  
"Of course, Olivia" she breathed. "We are practically family"


	11. Hansel and Gretel

**HANSEL AND GRETEL**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

There had been love, there had been pain... there had been Edward Cullen.

I worried she was romanticizing it, after all... she was human and he had been a vampire. Her eyes shine when she speaks about him, when she describes him for hours on end with her heart fluttering at the memory of him.

"His eyes..." she would begin, losing all trace of being twenty something, all trace of maturity as she blushes and splutters about her lost love.

His eyes were honey, she tells me. She isn't impressed when I point out that _all _their eyes are honey. Every single Cullen; and she frowns further when I tell her she wouldn't be able to differentiate between the different textures of their eyes, the different hues in this colour 'gold' depending on age and stamina to the 'vegetarian' lifestyle.

"Your eye sight wouldn't be able to see that" I tell her technically and she purses her lips, pulling her covers over her legs and watching me with something in her eyes. Curiosity, I think... maybe, but it has something in it that makes me uneasy.

"Well, the shape of his eyes then" she flips her hand in the air, a habit she has to dismiss something that so obviously bothers her. I don't mind, I think Isabella is a strange creature, so different from my one other human friend.

"What was his favourite colour?" I ask her.

"Brown, like my eyes" she says automatically.

"I would have thought it was gold" I mused "He has a gold couch, he has a gold rug... his curtains are a deeper shade of gold. In fact, the gold may be his eye colour? No... He was only a hundred years wasn't he... that shade would be more to Tanya or... Carlisle. I think it is Carlisle's gold"

"Carlisle?" she asks, tensing slightly.

"Yes, my father" I tell her "Don't tell me you have forgotten that part already! I had a friend in Alaska, his name was Bart and he used to..."  
"Is Alice with you?" she cut me, and my smile hangs unsure on my face before dropping off.

"No, Alice is in Paris currently... they stay in Alaska when they are in America"  
"Right"  
"But Rosalie is in Alaska" I tell her "Would you like to contact her?"  
"Rosalie hates me" Bella says automatically, not caring for the fact of her words.

"Oh" I managed, looking at my hands. "I would have liked to know about the history, you know... when he met my father for the first time and their life before they became a family with Rose and Alice and Uncle Em and Jazz. My father doesn't talk about that in detail. He doesn't talk about any time when Edward was there, in detail and unfortunately... Edward was there a great deal in the last of his hundred years when many interesting things were happening I think"  
"Why are you so curious about Carlisle's past?"

"Aren't you curious about your father's past?" I asked her and she shrugged her shoulders.

"He got married young, because he was having me then he divorced and fell in love with his best friend's widow" she said indifferently "And I was forced to be Leah's sister"  
"My mother doesn't like you _either!_" I said and she looked at me bewildered. Not because of the fact-Bella didn't care about the facts-but because I had said it with a little too much vim. We sat there in silence for a moment, the rain falling with more vehemence and the thunder rolling out in the distance.

"Well, I will tell you what Edward told me about Carlisle" Isabella said eventually, pressing her lips "He is very compassionate, to a fault. He is very involved in the needs of others and neglects his own... erm, there were some other things but... I can't remember"

"I wonder what they got up to, for thirty or so years, alone" I mused, imagining Carlisle and Edward (a faceless figure with a mass of bronze hair) fleeting between hospital beds in white coats. Angels to the dying...

"It used to hurt talking about him" Isabella sighed, clutching herself before looking up at me and smiling slightly "I am glad I met you, Olivia. Really, I am glad Leah is my sister and I met you"

"I am glad I met you too" I smiled back at her "Isabella, and once again... I am sorry for your heartbreak and loss"  
"You make it sound like he has died"  
"He was already dead" I said, slightly embarrassed by my inexperience with the pains and emotions of others, I was sure I was being slightly too formal about this... but it was a great thing. A regal love, surely... formality was needed "But... being in the Volturi, from what I have learnt... does not guarantee any vampire its immortality"

She shuddered and paled, her arms winding over her form tighter and eyes large and terrified-staring unseeingly on a spot on her bed. Heartbreak... I thought about the word, as I watched her eyes moisten and cheeks fill with colour. I didn't think I wanted to learn about this emotion any time soon.

I didn't even know what it was, to feel ones heart beak but as I watched her and the centre of my chest filled with an emotion similar to shame, guilt... a yearning for her pain to be over, because really... didn't I owe it to her? Didn't we all owe it to her on behalf of Edward Cullen? To make it all better...

To take care of his lover that he had sacrificed his joy and family for, to keep safe.

Daddy said once that vampires were soulless, then retracted the statement and said that my mother was his soul. So surely, Isabella was Edward Cullen's soul?

"Oh" I breathed, looking back at the window. The sound of Charlie's car and Billy's truck moving over the gravel down the road, the sound pushing past the rain. "Your dad is home... with Billy in tow"  
"Argh, dinner" Isabella jumped out of her blankets and hastily pulled a sweater on, tying her hair haphazardly "You want to help me in the kitchen?"  
"I don't know how to cook"  
"What do you mean you don't know how to cook!?" she laughed, skipping over the stairs quickly and carelessly before rushing into the kitchen and making a commotion of taking out pots and food.

"I mean..." I thought my statement over and smiled "I have never cooked anything. I know how to make a sandwich though?"  
"Yeah, I doubt Billy and Charlie will appreciate a sandwich" she snorted, eyeing me. "Just... take a seat. Hopefully Sue isn't with him"  
"She is" I said. "I think... a woman is with Charlie"

"Well, no need to cook"  
"You seem disappointed?"  
"I miss being the one to cook" she grumbled, putting everything away "I miss being the one... in charge of this" she waved her hand around the kitchen "Being in charge of the kitchen"

"Hmm" I heard a heavy strong heart beat and cringed. A wolf, and since it was Charlie's car and Billy's... it would be the _main_ wolf.

My least favourite wolf, of current.

Xx~xx~xX

"Can I talk to you outside, Olivia?" Jacob asked casually, after declining Isabella's gleeful offers of food. Emily, who had been the woman with Charlie, had no qualms about staying out of a kitchen that wasn't hers.

"It's raining" I stated, frowning at Emily and wondering how on earth her and Jacob had sniffed me out together all the way to Charlie's.

"_Now_, Olivia" Jacob commanded cordially. He had no traces of the ferocious hang over slash drunkenness I had seen in him, his hair brushed and pulled into a neat black pony and body clad considerately (the consideration being that he wore a shirt).

I glowered at him and made no move.

"Leah thinks you are with me" he said. "She called. And since you weren't with me, I called Emily... I thought after you came to my place... well, I thought you would have gone to hang out with the guys at Sam's. You weren't there... I spent fifteen minutes calling you and getting your voice mail..."  
"Call it Karma" I muttered and he paused his gentle ranting-I wondered if his control of his anger was due to Emily or Isabella's presence (Isabella seemed confused on how to behave with Jacob here). "I spent an hour talking to your stupid monotone, now you know how it feels Jake..."

"...I spent three hours in the woods, sniffing you out till I got here" he ignored me and looked back outside, through the window to the forest. "I heard you and when I knew you were okay I went back to get Billy, he was bugging me anyway to come and see Charlie and Bells..."  
"He just wanted you to get out of your room" I said icily and Jacob sighed wearily.

"I am sorry, Ollie" he whispered and I folded my arms over my chest and looked away from him. He took a step forward and placed a hot hand on my arm, trying to tug my hand out of its steel lock. I refused to oblige him, I refused to look at him and instead concentrated on Billy and Charlie's useless whispering on trying to get Jacob and Bella to date.

I didn't like that conversational topic, and not because of how I knew Seth was mesmerized by Jake... or because of my own need to have Bella there to reveal things about Edward that no one else would brave telling me. The idea of it just made me... uneasy.

"Olivia" he begged, dropping his hand in defeat "I wasn't going to... do anything, when I was... upset. Just... phase and... I wouldn't have... hurt you"  
I didn't like how this all made me feel; weak and strong at the same time, to have him standing here needing my forgiveness and then not wanting to give it, but wanting things to go back to the way they were simultaneously. It was unnerving...

It was utterly human, and I hated it.

"Fine!" I hissed "Let's go outside in the rain!" I jumped off the stool and didn't bother negotiating my speed, zapping outside and leaving Emily to squeal in surprise.

Xx~xx~xX

The rain was warm, the wind gentle. The storm was a little far off but it would get here... the storms never ever left Forks alone, I had learnt that long ago.

"Here" he shrugged his shirt off and handed it out to me.

"I am not cold" I frowned, looking up at Isabella's room. "I have a hoody, it's in Bella's room" I said coolly "And your shirt is wet"

"Just put it on" he sighed "Don't make me embarrass you"  
"What can be more embarrassing than being told you are a six year old brat who isn't in charge of her six year old emotions when you are _really_ seventeen!"  
"Being a six year old seventeen year old in a wet _white_ vest" he said, looking back at the house, still holding out the shirt. I looked down at myself and paled, grabbing his shirt violently and flinging it on fast, it was buttoned up in a matter of nanoseconds.

"I did warn you" he smiled. I couldn't reply him. This seemed infinitely much worse; it reminded me acutely of the time Carlisle wanted to talk 'menstruation'. I had spent too much effort and energy in collecting hoodies and baggy t-shirts to alleviate the 'bust problem' only to have it exploited by the rain.

I didn't have enough time to adjust to my own physical... still bizarrely clumsy and graceless for an immortal. Shapeshifters had more grace than I did, in their phased forms or not...

"A bull in a china shop" I whispered, rolling up his sleeves. I could see Isabella watching us from her room. She was talking to Emily, discussing her new job at a shop somewhere... half interested, more interested in what was going on outside.

I wondered if Emily would tell Isabella she was pregnant. I didn't want her too... I didn't want to be the only person Emily was uncomfortable with. I was jealous of Isabella, in that regard...

"What?" Jacob asked, he had heard my little monologue "You mean, when I phased in my room?"  
"Yes" I lied. He took a step forward and gripped my arms, trying to force me to look up at him. I refused; this was all... terrifying. Jacob and I never fought... because Jacob and I had never been the same age and Jacob had always been in control of everything... of himself.

"I wasn't angry with you!" he said sternly "Olivia, please... come on, you are my little know-it-all niece"

"I am not so little anymore?" I looked up at him "Everyone thinks I am 'little'. It's "Olivia go to Jake's so you can be safe" and "Olivia, let me drive you to school" and "Olivia, you can come to Alaska and have a sleep over... we'll invite Bart""

"What's wrong with the last bit?" Jacob asked.

"Did Leah tell you why she sent me to you?" I trudged his question. He dropped his arms and sighed.

"Well, no... But I am sure it's to keep you out of trouble"

"My point exactly!" I hissed. "I can take care of myself! Better than you can, Jacob!"  
"And what does that mean?"

"Well, for instance... I wouldn't shirk my responsibilities!"  
"Shirk..." he looked up at the house, and when Isabella saw his head move in the direction of her room, she quickly closed the curtain "Emily" he said "You spoke with her for a bit?"  
"Yeah, I did" I was upset again, the anger rising and falling dramatically. I felt hot, I felt cold and I felt derailed. Nothing seemed the same, not since I had seen Huilen and not since I had fought with Jacob. Not since, I had started uncovering the Cullen's past in the little town of Forks thanks to Isabella "And she is just like the rest of you! Isabella is the only one who doesn't think I am some _child in diapers!"_

"So you and Bells are buddies now?" he asked sardonically, the rain falling harder over us both. We were unconcerned with its ferocity, trying to keep the equilibrium of our argument from tipping-as much as Jacob was trying to be calm... I was not trying to have a repeat of his bedroom...

I had never seen violence. I had, trained. I had shot bullets at objects, wrestled with vampires and teased giant wolves. But I had not seen violence... I had not even, seen a single one of my family hunt. What was death to me, what was life... what was fear and aggression? These were Jacob's forte, and I knew it and I was shrewd enough to admit defeat against such records.

"She doesn't treat me like a child... she doesn't hide things from me!" I said quickly, looking up at him and hating how small he made me feel. I supposed it was better than _young. _I didn't mind feeling small, in the face of a giant but to feel immature and not fully formed in the face of my teeming mind and full hated womanly body... was insulting "You hide things form me!"  
"Things like what?" he asked sneering.

"Things like... Seth" I said "Things like... like... Isabella-yeah, I know there is something there Jacob!"  
"What, I loved her once..." he shrugged uncaringly at the piece of evidence "You see, you want to be an adult but you don't get it. There are no fairytales, Olivia. This isn't Mowgli or Sleeping Beauty... okay. People love and people get heartbroken..."

"And my mother and Emily!" I charged on "What is _that _about!"

"Well, I don't see why you are upset with me about that one!" he laughed "Go ask Leah!"

"And... And... Edward Cullen!" I hissed, poking his chest hard and his face went rigid with controlled anger. "All of you... liars!"

"No one really knows the truth or what was going on in that _idiots_ head!" Jacob said stonily. "You want to be treated like an adult, behave like one!"

"Well... that makes two of us?!" I copied his sardonic grin. We stared each other down, his breathing coming out hard and eyes narrowed at me.

"You really want to be an adult?"

"I am one!" I spat. "People can't just tell me to go over there and be baby sat, or tell me watered down versions of things... I am seventeen. I graduated long ago... I don't even need to go to high school... I could be in college. I could do whatever I want!"

"Hmm!" he scoffed watching me with hidden contemplations before saying in a calculated tone, that threw me off a loop "Fine, Olivia and you are welcome for my covering up for you with Leah"  
"You weren't covering up for me!" I laughed "You were covering up for you...! How could you explain kicking me out?"

"You have an attitude problem, you know that?" he frowned.

"Maybe I got it from my mother" I frowned back and he failed to not grin. My lips twitched, itching to return his easy smile.

"It saddens me to think my new best friend is a six year old"  
"I am seventeen, eighteen in a few days time"

"Olivia, I want you to tell me things" he looked up at the house, up at Isabella's room suspiciously. "What... is going in your life and the such. You can trust me, you know..."

"You don't tell me things"  
"You wouldn't understand the things that I am going through, sweetie" he sighed.

"Try me" I said, cringing at 'sweetie' "And drop the sweetie, I refuse to be 'cute' or 'adorable' from hence forth"

He watched me again, with the same contemplative look before looking up at Isabella's room with the same distrust. He was weighing something in his mind, some dilemma. He wanted my trust, he wanted to be involved in my thoughts like he used to be when I was younger... when I would tell him of my nightmares and detachment to my surroundings... he wanted to know me again, but I was at a crossroads. And any relationship I could establish with Jacob seemed to need to start on a new contract...

And he knew it too. And this gave me hope that we could recover from the fight in his bedroom. Again, I was running to my childish hopes and haven in my 'emotional nursery'. But I couldn't admit it to him, I was having difficulty admitting it to myself... that maturity was not an intellectual or physical thing. It was emotional...

And maybe that was why, I had now become fascinated with love and heartbreak.  
"I slept..." he paused and cringed back, staring at his large soaked shoes. "Not really err, slept... I was..." he looked up at me, his russet cheeks burning "You are six" he finished lamely.

"You need to get over that now!" I hissed and he pursed his lips.

"You slept with Seth?" I asked after a second and his eyes widened, the flush leaving his skin, he paled drastically.

"Not slept!" he yelped "Not that... not like that... it wasn't... like that"  
"It wasn't sex" I said, trying to keep a straight face and not over analyse the whole thing. He closed his eyes and muttered how wrong it felt-I supposed, speaking to me about this and not the thing he did with Seth. "Can men have sex?" I couldn't stop myself and he groaned, making a show of fisting his hair and hissing and groaning into the air.

I allowed him six seconds to deal... before tutting and calling his attention back.

"Are you...gay?" I asked.

"No" he said softly. "It was just... Seth. I err... was drunk... I felt... I care for him and well, I messed up and he wasn't impressed"

"You are a horrible human being" I said.

"I think I am" he said "I corrupted Seth and now, I think I corrupted you. Leah... is going to skin me... one day"

"You haven't corrupted me"  
"Tell me you aren't going to go and try and understand everything I have told you?" he asked and I remained silent. "Well, the least you can do is refrain from telling your new buddy"  
"Of course" I said "You were my buddy first"

"It fills me with joy" he said and I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

I don't know why I didn't tell him about Huilen... I supposed the fact that when Leah had called her alpha she hadn't told him either made me think it was a Cullen secret. But I was glad that the weirdness I had feared would come after the fight with Jake, had been conquered...

I was glad that I had somewhat blackmailed (I wasn't sure how, or what it was... but Jacob had been at a disadvantage) Jacob into treating me like his peer. I wished I could phase then, suddenly... to really be part of the pack, and earn everyone's respect. They could treat me how they wanted, how I asked to be treated... but it didn't mean they stopped thinking of me as the 'She-Wolf's' freaky grown up child.

"Would you date Isabella?" I asked Jacob as we made our way back to the house, we were both wet and calmer... but we weren't the same. He wasn't so... formidable. He was frayed and vulnerable too, and it made him the same as I was...

And even though we could bond on how similar we were -I couldn't pretend to understand whatever it was he was going through because of Seth and his... not-sex-thing-I couldn't tell him about the hidden treasure I had found in learning of Edward and Isabella's forbidden love.

I knew what he would say, that I was still obsessed with my fairytales. And maybe I was... oh, heavens knows I was. The normality of love, its audacity to be given purchase in both the supernatural and natural in equal limits when one was eternal and the other fatal.

"I would have" he told me "God knows I fought hard enough for it..."

"For it?"

"For my love for her" he said, slowing down and giving us time to talk. "But how could I compete with _Edward Cullen?_"

I wanted to ask what had made him love her, as he had seen she loved Edward... had he thought her attentions could be diverted? Isabella said her love for Edward Cullen had been 'irrevocable' and 'undisrupted', how would a young Jacob Black have ever managed to grab her attentions from Edward...

"What's changed?" I asked him. "Is it Seth?"  
"Seth..." he said the name miserably, touching the door handle before looking at me, his eyes seeming to trace my mind, trying to figure my thoughts out "Maybe it is a fear of imprinting? I don't know... but it just seems _worthless_ now. She is all about vampires, Isabella. Even when there are none around. All about the immortals... I guess I am not immortal enough for her"  
"Immortal enough?" I asked him.

"Well, Shapeshifters are born... not made" he said dryly, oddly. "I have nothing to offer her besides puppies"

Xx~xx~xX

The moment Jacob left with Emily, Isabella rounded on me.

"What did he say?" she asked, and then she shook her head, muttering that she didn't really want to know. "Wolf thing?" she asked instead and before I could reply her, she shook her head again.

"Don't tell him about what we are talking about" she said instead. "You see, he was always..."  
"Jealous of Edward" I finished, proud of myself for learning the ways of her mind now. She nodded, smiling with approval at my false conclusion. Of course, I didn't think Jacob was entirely jealous... just... _something. _It was like with Leah, how she thought of all the Cullen's and the Denali clan as family...

But Huilen and her red eyes had reverted her back to 'leech' slur.

Jacob, thought of Edward as 'leech'... I thought it was more probable that Jacob was _disgusted _by Isabella's choice in love than _jealous. _It made me wonder about my mother and father, and the history of their love... it made me comprehend all the 'zombie child' slurs and little quips they made.

It made me realise that Sam and Emily, tolerated the half Quileute part of me. I had always known, of course, but unlike Isabella... I never fully invested in a feeling before the facts showed themselves. This was why, with Edward Cullen, his mystery was all the more intriguing... now that it had proof.

It didn't hurt that it was a love story...

I was at that 'age' of being fascinated with 'love', and heartbreak was incomprehensible and distracting but love... oh, love sounded like sweet treasure. Like in Pride and Prejudice, or Twelfth Night... or Beauty and the Beast.

The pain of love, was sweeter and more intriguing that the pain of heartbreak, the bitterness of it.

"What is your fascination with Edward?" Isabella asked.

"I never met him" I looked at her "If you can understand, immortals tend not to have a lot of family relations and the enigma of one existing that you have never met..."  
"But you aren't related"  
"We are!" I frowned at her, offended. "Through venom, of course. It's as good as blood"  
"Yes, venom" she said "It is as good as blood, isn't it?"

Xx~xx~xX

I left her asleep, muttering drivel about Edward and Alice.

She seemed equally in love, at times, with Alice. I thought for a moment, about Seth and Jacob... and wondered if it was like that for Isabella and Alice, but then the notion of Jasper allowing something like that... in his very set old ways, made me laugh.

Sex...

Disgusting.

It brought out the worst in people.

But what did I know? I was six, seventeen, a virgin and bored.

Xx~xx~xX

I wasn't supposed to be in the woods after dark.

But the fact that I knew this rule, without it ever being established or verbalized made me... angry. Why couldn't I be in the woods after dark? The darkness was nothing to me! I may not be interested in hunting and the such (I had tried to hunt at one point, and I failed dismally... I was noisy, in the sense of highly aware creatures), but I was not about to get lost in the woods. I was not about to be attacked by some random lion... the most I could do at this point, was ruin my shoes.

I could see easily through shadows, with a little concentration. I could hear the nighttime activities of the woodland creatures. I could smell the forest through the drizzle...

I wasn't supposed to be in the woods after dark... but here I was, and it felt good to flip my hair at their silent laws and oppression on me.

Jacob was awake when I arrived at his place. I felt slightly devious with my agenda-with my perusing through Edward Cullen's existence in Forks. Isabella was lovely in her love and pain, but Jacob had been in love too... and the moment I had discovered this, of course I was intrigued. I wanted to know more, about Edward between Jacob and Isabella. The left side of him and the right side of him...

"I was just about to go out patrolling" he said gruffly. He didn't say anything about my trudging through Billy's house silent, ghostlike and wet. I may have startled him slightly... he had been lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling in the dark. I knew his senses were nothing like mine, I wondered if he had awoken in the dark and not bothered to flip a light.

I wondered if his emotions matched the darkness.

I sadistically hoped they did. It sounded lovely and regal-like Isabella-to hold such... emotions and feelings. Like, being part of an elite society...

I knew that something about this want was childish but the moment I failed to pick out which part of it made it this way, I let it go.

He was lying on the couch, without a shirt on and in his worn cargo shorts with his hair splayed out wild around his face. He looked threatening, like when I had seen him asleep in his alcohol state. I wondered what I looked like, wet and paled by the rain with darkened eyes and messed up hair. Not as threatening, barely threatening in fact...

I probably looked sickly and lost, a little babe searching the woods for secrets.

"Did I disturb you?" I asked him softly, sitting on the arm of the chair and staring at Billy's crappy television set.

"No"

"I meant your thoughts?"

"Maybe..." he whispered "No" he lied.

"I thought we were best friends?"  
"_You_ don't tell me what is going on in _your_ mind anymore" he said.

"Nothing" I said "What can possibly go on in my mind? I have no lost lover, no confusing love... I just have... you and Bella. All I am trying to do is figure you out. And that there, is the truth"

And it was the truth. I smiled. It was a sort of truth... I liked that. Not really lying, just leaving out a little mass so the truth tipped slightly in one direction and its meaning changed drastically with the little tilt.

"I was thinking about Seth" he said eventually, exhaling hard and covering his eyes with his arm. "I was thinking about... how he told me he loved me. I was thinking about how... no one has ever said they loved me since my mother died, not even Billy-we don't... talk like that. I was thinking about my mother, I was thinking about the twins... I was thinking about Dad... I was thinking about how alone I was"  
"You aren't alone"

"I was thinking on how _lonely _I am" he whispered, removing his hand and messing his hair, never rising from the couch. "I was thinking how I had lost control with you... when you came..."  
"You said it yourself, you wouldn't have hurt me" I whispered back, touching his large toe and squeezing it. He looked at me then and smiled wretchedly.

"It's like you are _growing_ every second" he said, his eyes still wretched and miserable as he said this, like he feared this 'growth' he saw in me. It made me concerned, it made me worried... was I abnormal? I _was_ abnormal... I wanted to laugh at my worry and concern. It was like forgetting one was supposed to be able to breathe air and freaking out when you couldn't breathe under water like the fish.

"No" he stopped his odd staring and shook his head "Not just that. When I lost control Olivia... I realised... I was... incapable of not phasing"

"I don't understand" I admitted.

"If I can't stop phasing" he said softly, rising finally and sitting up "I'll be immortal"  
"I still don't get your worry?"  
"I won't die"

"Jake..." I whispered, his eyes were shining with moisture. I didn't think he knew I could see, he was in _his _darkness in this night. Not in my shadowy light. A tear fell and rolled down his taut high cheek and I shuddered. I felt like crying too, suddenly and incomprehensibly "Jake, I don't know what to do!" I whispered, frightened by him suddenly and it wasn't the same fear from before, when I had seen him angered and losing his hold on his wolf soul.

"Is it selfish, that I don't want to be alone when everyone else dies?" he whispered, tugging at my hand and holding it in his hot one, staring at the paleness of my skin against his dark one. "Is it... sadistic that I would love Seth so I won't ever have to be alone? You are right... I am the worst human alive... the worst. I might as well be a _leech_!"  
"Don't say that!" I hissed, flipping his hand easily and forcefully so it was cradles in both mine.

"Billy is going to die" he said and I cringed. "Charlie, Sue... Isabella. I have no part in Leah's immortality, not with the Cullens. That's their life. I haven't got my own... not until I imprint"

"Imprinting isn't the end all and be all!" I hissed, awarding myself for the sense in that fact... for I was I faced with unfathomable emotions from Jacob. "Look at my mother and Carlisle...!"

"I thought that could be Seth and I" Jacob mumbled, sighing heavily. "But I... was being selfish. You see, Seth is gay. I think he may never imprint. And I... I know I am not. I just... with Seth, it was a pull and tug. I would never ever be that way with another man. I hurt him, Olivia... I hurt him bad. I hurt myself"

"He'll forgive you"

"You are so naïve"

It hurt, because it was true. I leaned back and shuddered again, stopping my unravelling... and wiped his second lone tear from the same eye.

"We should go" I said and he sighed heavily.

"Yes, we should go..." he mumbled "Sam... he can overreact about stuff"  
"You weren't phasing with them" I guessed "You were avoiding them"  
"Well, if you could 'grow' quickly on that and guess the repercussions of such a... thing, as the thing Seth and I had in the pack?"

I thought for a second and he waited, watching me.

"No, not just yet" I admitted sheepishly "I can't guess the repercussions-I haven't advanced enough it seems"

"The world is a judgemental place, Olivia" he said "No one tolerates _strangeness _willingly. No one wants the abnormal to trek the earth carefree. No one wants... the unexplainable to exist"  
"I should understand that" I said "I am the abnormal and the strange. I am the unexplainable... existing and breathing. But I don't understand, Jake... no matter how much they warn me that the Volturi will eradicate me on discovery. I have no experience with the repercussions of being... strangely abnormal and inexplicable in my existence... only theorized feelings on it. Everything about my understanding...is theoretical"

"That's okay" he sighed, stretching as he rose. "Living and dying, its all theory to the other"

"Dying to life, and living to death..." I said, following him out and allowing him his privacy as he phased "I like that... I like that a lot; dying in life and living in death"

Xx~xx~xX

We ran in the woods silently. Jacob's melancholia had desisted to autopilot in his wolf form. He sniffed here and there, and rubbed his thick neck on giant trees at intervals-a sign to any other wolf in the pack, to map out his patrol radius on their shift.

We were by the stream, the long winding one that separated the territories. I was having a monologue and he was huffing and rolling his large eyes in response.

"...the only reason you are faster than me" I continued, hating how competitive I was and that I still couldn't get over how slow I was thanks to my constant trudging through the ground and stumbling into trees when lost in the exhilaration of a race "Is because of your muscle. You propel yourself, you see"

He snorted.

"Oh, and if you were thinking on mum... I am yet to see any wolf or vampire as fast as Leah Clearwater" I said "It's her talent. You can't compete with a talent"  
He snorted again.

"If you were thinking that wolves don't have talents...well, you are wrong" I said "Sam... You see he is... so... obtrusive to a garish extent. That has to be a talent"  
He laughed then, a series of short barks. His large paws squishing into the wet earth near the raucous stream. I pushed my filthy sneakers through his paw print

"I wonder what kind of wolf I would be..." I whispered "I wish I could be a phoenix or something..."  
I expected him to snort, or bark out a laugh again but he did neither. The wind blew lightly, the night rain whipping around us. Jacob was far off, standing tenses with his head angled in the air and a paw absently raised off the ground. He sniffed once, then twice and let out a growl.

"What?" I rushed towards him and looked about in the shadows. "I don't..."

Then I smelt it. Vampire...

I tensed with him, trying to understand which direction the scent had come from... but I was no good at hunting or tracking and Jacob's sense of smell was much, much better than my own. He was already growling, his haunches raised and tail lowered, while I spun in the mud and rain, eyes wide and anxious.

"I can't..." I began but he had skipped into the air, trotting at first before bursting into full speed, his growls moving through the thick rain filled air "Jacob!"

I followed him desperately, watching the mass of dark russet weave through the trees. I trampled shrubbery, knocked over trees, my arms were scraped and clothes torn in my pursuit. I saw him finally, he had arched back to the borderline of the stream. We were still in Quileute territory, but she was in our territory.

Huilen, stood still across the stream in vampire territory. I stumbled but Jacob didn't... he seemed to forget the treaty in the face of her red eyes and flung himself across the stream at her. She was momentarily terrified at the sight of the large wolf, but Jacob had been impulsive and instinctual-nothing about his actions showed calculation, and this gave her an edge. She stepped out of his way and he fell in the space she once was, growling and twisting his body easily back up and rounding on her.

"NO!" I cried, skipping over the stream, and as he launched himself a second time-this time with purpose and intention-I hurtled between him and Huilen and whacked into his side painfully, pushing him of course so he went crashing into a tree while I fell back into the stream, soaked.

"Jake, stop!" I hissed, standing between him and Huilen "She is visitor of Daddy's"

"Daddy's?" Huilen's clear preternatural voice cut through the sound of the bumbling stream and soft thunder far off. I ignored her and took a step forward towards the large wolf.

"Jake, come on... she is on our territory" I raised my hands, like I was pushing a force field out to him, stopping him.  
I could see it in his eyes, I could almost heat him questioning me on 'Our Territory'.

"She wants to join our lifestyle" I said and again, I saw it in his eyes 'Our Lifestyle' "Tell him, Huilen!" I turned around and met her red eyes.

"Yes, the... girl... speaks... the truth" her accent was thick, her eyes were disbelieving on my face but her expression seemed triumphant behind the initial disbelief.

Jacob sat back on his hind legs, his eyes on Huilen.

"Carlisle is your father" Huilen stated.

"Vampires can't conceive" I said quickly "He is like my foster father. I am... like him" I nodded my head in Jake's direction.

"Of course" Huilen smiled and then she said to Jacob "I apologise for startling you"

Jake growled in response.

"Your name?" Huilen asked me and a thrill went down my spine at her interest in me, shining in her eyes.

"Olivia" I said.

"You look like your mother" Huilen smiled. "A strong woman she is, to have you"

"Yes, I am a hand full" I smiled.

"I hope to speak with you sometime" Huilen said, backing from the stream and into the Cullen forest, still smiling softly, her eyes still shining

"Like wise" I told her, and she left us.

Xx~xx~xX

"...stupid of you...!" Jacob was hissing. "Never ever interrupt two supernatural beings! You bleed... do you her me, you bleed!"

"You bleed too"  
"Yeah, well... I have fangs!" he snapped "You don't have fangs!"

"I have to go back to Isabella's" I sighed, unperturbed by his... annoyance and agitation "I am tired. I think I would like to sleep... I haven't slept in _days_. And tomorrow..."  
I was about to tell him I had agreed to return to her meadow, the meadow she says Edward made for her. We were going to try and recreate her paradise...

But Jacob had just been on the phone with my mother, prissy and hissy, and forgetting we were supposed to be best friends and reverting to 'Uncle Jake'. He had promised not to tell Sam about Huilen, willingly-since he was currently not phasing with the rest of the pack.

"Tomorrow what?!" he asked, half snapped.

"I might go to Alaska... I would like to see Bart" I said-it was only a contemplation and I had said 'might'. It wasn't really lying.

"Yeah, you know... I think you should go to Alaska" he said, frowning. "I might just give Jasper a call, tell him to teach you a lesson in combat"  
"I know a lot more than _you_"  
"I don't need to know how to do a round house kick, Chuckanorissa!" he chuckled and then snapping his teeth at me, he said "I am the _original _big bad wolf!"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**This chapter reminded me so acutely of the angst of TCA, and the no bounds eccentricity that was in it.**

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews! **

**Xx**

**TJ**

**p.s I just love hearing your theories ;)**


	12. Snow White

**SNOW WHITE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

_**The jealousies of the old-they wished for the surreal thoughts of the young, to draw wild things on walls and see castles in the skies.**_

_**For all they had were dark imaginations and if they were to draw them out, worlds would burn, and guns would cry.**_

_**So the old don't dare dream, while the young sleep peacefully.**_

_**And in their waking nightmares, they cry.**_

_**Xx~xx~xX**_

**OLIVIA CAMILLE CULLEN**

**Xx~xx~xX**

The meadow was not entirely dead. I understood now, why she had said it had been 'his' meadow. This meadow didn't just come into existence, it was created and cared for and without its constant gardener it had withered.

"Maybe you can shovel..." she handed me the shovel and I looked at it contemplatively, dreaded touching any soil. It was different, rolling around in soil and laughing and wrestling in it... but _working with it _had always been something I did alone. And if I would do it with someone, I doubted that I would pick Isabella... my new friend... my irritating, self absorbed friend.

"Here" she handed me a black plastic bag holding soil and a lone yellow flower. I looked at this too, contemplatively before glancing up at the expanse that was the clearing. This one flower, was supposed to do what exactly...?

"Go forth and multiply" I whispered to it, bringing it by my lips and feeling its petals as I spoke against it.

"I didn't realise how large the space was" she sighed, placing her hands on her hips and looking around us. "Look, that boulder over there... he used to rush over the and just stand there, thinking..."

I looked at the boulder. There was nothing magnificent about it. I was concerned that my enthralment with Isabella and Edward's romance was dying down in the face of the more serious taboo love of Carlisle and Leah. Of my parents...

But the fact that the romance was between my parents had formed some mental block for me, stopping me from finding it any more fascinating past the fact that I was proof that they had sex...

Disgusting.

"What's wrong?" Isabella asked, tilting her head slightly... a little more than she would have had to, a few days ago. I was no were near Leah's height, but by the grace of God... I was getting there. Hopefully... I may not be _as_ tall, but at least I would be tall.

"I was thinking that sex is disgusting" I told her truthfully, still moving my lips over the flower's soft petals. She smiled and shook her head.

"First teenager to think that, I assure you" she smiled and sighed "Actually, Edward used to think... well, not that sex was _disgusting_ but that it was not the foremost important thing"  
"I agree with him" I said "People should only do it to have babies... any other purpose is a recipe for disaster. I have proof"  
"What proof?" she asked.

"I can't tell you" I smiled, revelling in saying that "It's a secret"  
"Between you and Jacob?" she guessed and my smile slid of my face. She had her moments of being perceptive and intelligent... at all the _wrong _moments, it seemed.

I nodded and then said "I try not to lie. Like my father... I like that about him"  
"What do you try to do, that is like your mother?" Isabella asked softly.

"I try... not to be impulsive. But that is sort of the opposite" I smiled "My mother is very impulsive, reckless even... and aggressive. Actually, I wished I could be more aggressive like her... that way, Jacob would be intimidated by me too"

"What do you mean?"  
"He intimidates me" I said and as I breathed in the flower while she proved me wrong, taking out more flowers from the large bag I had been carrying. They still weren't enough to do anything significant in the meadow, but they sure were a lot more intelligent in number than _one lousy plant..._

"Why?" she asked again, eyeing me strangely. "Does it have anything to do with the secret you share that is 'proof' that sex should have a 'purpose'?"  
"Sort of" I frowned, lowering the plant carefully by the dozen other plants she was lining up. I didn't like her tone, it was... implying... an intimation in its ringing.

"Do you like Jacob?"  
"Better than anyone else" I said, thinking about my garden patch in Alaska. I hadn't minded working in there, maybe I could pretend this was just like that... "I miss my rabbits" I said absently, not looking at Isabella although I could feel her eyes on me "I had a fox. It wasn't really mine, it was... the forests. But we would play this game, like hide and seek... it had the most beautiful fur... and amber eyes..."

"Does he like you back?" she asked, concentrating too hard on her plants and other gardening things.

"I hope he does" I said, wondering how on earth we could be best friends if he didn't like me like I liked him. "Well, I hope he will like me like I like him one day... I hate it when he treats me like I am some little kid, like Claire or something" and then pointing at her 'equipment' "Do you think these will flourish here? In the wild?"  
"We would have to attend to them" it came out like a growl from her. I looked at her, her face was flushed.  
"Would you be strong enough for such regular hiking trips... you were out of breath half way..."  
"I am sure my frail human self will manage!" she said tetchily. I remained quiet, watching her set to work furiously, deciding that I was of no use to her... I didn't feel like messing around with Edward's meadow.

Not because I thought it was sacred (it didn't seem like 'Edward's meadow', it seemed more like... a dying clearing taking its last breath). I just felt... lazy. I wanted to lie in the dry grass and stare at the clouds, not dig things up.

So I did just that, moving far away from Isabella's moody digging, but near enough that she could hear me if she decided she wanted to hold a conversation. It took her a while, after three plants, wiping her brow and glancing at me.

"I am sorry" she said.

"What for?"  
"I was... rude"

"Yes, you were" I said, looking back at the white clouds. "Can I ask you something, Isabella? As a... woman?"

"Is it about sex and Jacob?"  
"Yes" I said and her heart stuttered "Would you have sex with Jacob to make puppies?"  
"Why?" she asked softly, timidly... like she was in pain but pushing ahead regardless of her pain.

"Well, that's what he thinks he can offer you" I said and then realising I had been tactless and naïve-I wasn't supposed to discuss this with Bella, and if I was trying to be cunning about it I had to keep it vague "I mean... you know, offer _women_"

"I think the question is, would _you_ have sex with Jacob"  
"To make puppies?" I looked at her "Why, yes. That would be giving sex a purpose, wouldn't it?"

"So... you and Jacob..." she fumbled with her hands, she seemed on the verge of tears inexplicably and I stared at her baffled. I didn't feel like I would cry with her, like I had done with Jacob. In fact, I wanted her to stop her unravelling only because it made me uncomfortable... and not in an emotional way. In an irritating way, which I guess is an emotion in itself... but it only affected my tranquillity and carefree cloud gazing because I knew I would have to perform some social etiquette to alleviate her own emotional discomfort and I was... too lazy to pretend... to _care_.

Did this make me less human, I wondered. That I could only connect with Jacob, in some form of emotional understanding but with Isabella...it all seemed like exceptionally hard work. Human's emotions seemed so intricate and hurried. Happy, joyous, and then so suddenly, at the drop of a hat... they were miserable and suicidal.

Did God purposefully create them to be bipolar? Some sort of reflection on his own temperament...

"Sorry, what?" I breathed. She had been talking, and I had not been listening and instead I had watched her wipe her tears quickly and rather aggressively before they could fall.

"I said..." she said softly "You know that Jacob had been jealous of Edward having me, right"  
"Yes, I haven't forgotten" I sat up rigidly, forcing my self to pay attention. I wanted to ask her the relevance of this... but asking people the relevance of their words and statements was rude... it was a habit I had learnt from Bart-who at times was less human than me.

I thought I missed Bart, indeed Bart was more factual and purposeful and he had as a result of being my one human friend, shaped the way I tolerated other humans. Human... was I not supposed to be thinking of myself as one of them...?

Daddy would _not_ be pleased.

"...so I kissed Jacob..." she was going on, eyeing me for a reaction while wringing her hands.

"I don't think I want any children" I said, cutting her like she always cut me. Karma... I loved the word and faithfulness of it. I lay back on the ground, folding my hands behind my head and she let out an 'oh'. "Connecting is tiresome... I wonder how it is people fall in love. It requires strength, don't you think? And if love is such an energy draining activity one can only imagine the effort of sex... to make a _child_"  
"Huh?" she frowned "You haven't... slept with Jacob?"  
"I slept..." I paused, frowning violently and flying of the ground, startling her "You thought I slept with Jacob? Is that what you are rambling on about?!"  
"Well, yes... he looks at you..."  
"Ew" I frowned at her.

"You aren't related" she paused, smiling a little sarcastically "Not even by _venom_. What was I supposed to think?"

"I am..." I wanted to tell her that I was six years old and a child, for goodness sakes. My hormones were starting to fire up only recently and some other jargon that would make her feel stupid and idiotic for making me feel weird and queasy about Jacob from her conclusion.

But saying I was six years old after demanding the world accept I was seventeen, and eighteen in a few days time... would make me a hypocrite. I _wasn't_ a hypocrite.

"So there is nothing going on between you and Jacob?" she asked.

"No, we are just friends" I said slowly, confused thoroughly as new things welled inside me. "Why would you think he and I would... have sex?"  
"Why wouldn't you?"

We weren't related. That was her logic... and it was logic. If sex had a purpose, and we were working towards that purpose, then, we would have puppies.

"We aren't married!" I smiled triumphantly. I wondered stupidly if Jacob and Seth were going to hell... then I reprimanded myself. That was a childish thing to think... Jacob and Seth hadn't had proper sex. They had probably had oral sex, or other kinds of sex... but not intercourse.

And again, I reprimanded myself. I was being too black and white... too... Carlisle, like Jake would say. I didn't want to think about all Jacob's saying suddenly. I wanted to erase them and think about someone else's sayings for a bit... erase the image of Jacob laying in the dark and breaking apart... that tear falling from his eye...

It shouldn't be a _pretty_ image, should it?

"You honestly going to fall back on that one?" she asked and the laughed "You really are a Cullen!"

"You said he looks at me...?" I asked her, I didn't like her words or their implication. I didn't like the confusing emotions inside me... I knew her conclusion was wrong because it made me feel... _wrong._ Another lesson-following ones feeling and not the logic of the world. Logic, I was fast learning, was so overrated, and it had been my _crutch_. I wasn't Bart, I didn't have a condition that limited me to logic and stunted the growth of my imagination...

But on those grounds, did I want to imagine her words...? Did I want to mature past childish logic of my world to the limitless imagination of adulthood.

"In a way... you know, he looks at you like he really cares about you" she said softly, almost enviously "Like he would do _anything_ for you"  
"Jake has a big heart" I told her stiffly "I think you are... reading into things" I was taken off guard by comprehending Isabella's strange behaviour. A part of me wished I didn't understand that. "He... loves fully but not easily, if you understand _me. _It's an Alpha thing, my mother says... if you are in his pack, he feels responsible for your well being. Sometimes, whether he wants to or not. But that doesn't mean he would fall in love with _everyone_"  
"Yeah, otherwise him and Embry would have had a lovely little romance, I suppose"  
"Err..." I paused, watching her "Ha-ha" I laughed lamely and she smiled.

Ten points, for trying right...

"Yeah, and you are one of his pack mates _kid_" she said and I almost agreed with her, that this would make things even weirder but then... I frowned at 'kid'.

"I am not a _child_" I said icily and she froze, momentarily locked with my eyes. Her heart thudded, her scent swirled sweetly with adrenaline. "Don't ever call me that"  
"Okay" she squeaked and I released her gaze and casually resumed my cloud gazing.

It was exactly like with the boys that had been bullying Bart... a little trick I knew vampires used unaware or consciously. To compel or repel humans. Right now, it reminded Isabella that she may be older, she may know Edward Cullen... but I had officially reached my limits with her impudence.

I may not win a stare down with my mother, but any other being would crumble under my gaze

"Olivia"

I rose abruptly while Isabella jumped away from her gardening and stumbled into me, letting out a soft squeal of fear. She clawed at my jumper, trying to push me in front of her while hiding herself behind me.

"Vampire!" she breathed, pointing at Huilen and I rolled my eyes impatiently but allowed her the panic. "Olivia... she has... red... eyes"  
"Not green?" I asked her mordantly and Huilen's lips twitched into a weary sort of grin.

"I wont harm you, human" Huilen said, moving closer in a pace I supposed she thought was slow... but managed to startle Isabella further.

"It's okay, Bella" I said, pushing her forcefully away from me so she could have her own personal space and leave mine alone "Huilen is not going to hurt you, she is trying to live like the Cullens"  
"That's what Jasper thought!" Bella laughed hard.

"Maybe you shouldn't have had a paper cut?" I offered and she scowled at me "Huilen, this is Isabella..." I paused and added, shocking myself with the irrelevance of the information to Huilen but giving it regardless "Isabella is Edward Cullen's mate"

This calmed Bella.

"Edward Cullen?" Huilen asked smiling a little in confusion "Your father... your... _foster_ father and I spoke of Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett?"

"Edward... he was my... true love" Isabella whispered "He... wouldn't have me turned into a vampire, he wouldn't have my soul sacrificed..."  
"He left us for Volterra" I cut her "My family was heart broken"

"Understandably, any family would _mourn _for such a loss as another family member" Huilen said sadly. "Such a love, as I can imagine between... a vampire and a... human" she looked at Isabella as she said this and Isabella gulped down her tears at her fresh pain.

"Yes well..." Isabella fumbled with her hands, blushing and causing Huilen to visibly cringe. Her eyes were dark, trimmed with a thicker outline of black. "He had to... if you know the history of the Volturi"  
"I recently found out about it" Huilen said softly, gently... almost soothing Isabella. She looked at me and smiled "Of course, vampires are to keep their distance from humans unless they plan on introducing said humans into vampirism?"  
"Precisely" I said, smiling at Huilen.

"Volterra" Huilen said wistfully "My only family is there"

I froze, my heart clenching "I thought you said you had family in South America?"  
"Yes, but we count our family according to how they make us feel" she touched her chest "You can be surrounded by beings, but be entirely alone, no?"

"I suppose" I said, thinking about the Cullens, thinking that I liked Huilen... she knew about emotions, not the brief and hasty ones Isabella contained that had no conviction... the ones that Daddy referred to as 'Ancient'.

Immortal emotions, the ones that Jacob and I connected under.

"I understand your loss, Isabella" Huilen said and I was immediately jealous of Isabella-wanting Huilen to understand and connect with me alone. But I had nothing to connect with, no loss had come from me...

I was a... I was a _child._

"Volterra" Isabella said, taking a step forward, forgetting her fear-the human she was, forgetting her fear. "Is she... there... in the... Royal Guard?"  
"Visiting" Huilen said shortly, smiling.

"They can visit Volterra?" I asked "A vampire... I thought they..."  
"You thought it was like a prison?" Huilen asked and I blushed furiously when she laughed. "No, dear child..." she said, and I couldn't be angry at her for saying this, only angry at myself for _being it..._ "It is... like visiting the Palace, in England... you know the one?"  
"Yes, I know the one" my voice came out parched.

"Your father visited Volterra once" she told me "He was discussing it with me"  
"He told you this?" I asked her in disbelief. Angry with Carlisle-had he not allowed me to believe Italy was the land of nightmares, were the bogeyman lived? And yet, he had _visited _it like a tourist...

I had always known that I could never fully invest my fear in the Volturi until I had _proof. _I had always been right about that one thing; no emotion could be invested in, until there were facts. And now, I had facts to my detachment... my family had secrets. Deep ones... terrifying ones, I allowed my _adult imagination _to whisper.

"Yes, how he went to them at some point... so pleased with finding civilised vampires and he stayed with them for a while and learned their ways..." she sighed "He learnt their ways were not for him, and he left them. But they keep an open invitation to every Cullen... very cordial"

"Cordial" was all I managed. I couldn't breath, glancing at Isabella who seemed to be reeling in her own manner, as I was, under the heaviness of Huilen's innocent revelation about Edward and the Cullen's.

"Why, you are a Cullen, in your way" Huilen smiled at me "I am sure they would be more than pleased to see you"

"They would... demand I be turned" I said.

"Demand?" Huilen frowned "Really? They would demand that? It is a law... sure enough, but one that is limitless in its time frame. Carlisle said he planned on turning Leah on her next birthday"

Well, Leah wasn't aging... so I suppose Carlisle's plan was one that would never be executed. Could he say he lied?

"I was very surprised to see you, Olivia" Huilen smiled "Very surprised, but pleasantly so. I had only come on behalf of... my brother of sorts, to find out about there yellow eyed vampires"

"Is it possible your brother saw Edward, in South America?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Edward... what I would give to see him...!" Isabella breathed, and suddenly her fairytale romance had been revived for me. I was intrigued once more, dangerously so...

And feeling... very much, like my mother's daughter. Feeling, very much... reckless and dangerous.

"I am going to Volterra now!" Huilen said quickly "You see, I have learnt of an alternate lifestyle to vampirism... I can convince my only true family that he does not need to burden Volterra with keeping him under lock and key so he will not be free to kill! I will simply go there and speak to Aro, very cordial they are..."

"Isabella...!" Huilen breathed and I frowned, wondering if Huilen had been watching and eavesdropping Isabella and I. I thought she had been but I wasn't offended... "You want this life, don't you?"  
"What life?" I asked Bella but she was locked to Huilen's eyes, nodding her head.

"It is yours!" Huilen laughed "The moment you tell Aro that your decision is to be with Edward forever... you will have him back! He will not have to worry about your _soul..._ it is your soul, and you can do with it what you want!"

"But I have no way of going to Volterra and..." Isabella began and Huilen laughed gently again, taking another brisk step forward.

"All you need, is a single vampire to take you" Huilen murmured, watching Isabella. "I can take you, Isabella"  
"Yes" Bella breathed, nodding her head vehemently, her eyes blazing. "Yes!"

"But... what about me?" I whispered.

"Your purpose?" Huilen asked "You need a purpose, when you stand before Aro... I am not sure if your being a Cullen _pet_ is purpose enough. Vampires and... Werewolves do not... blend well"

"Werewolf?" I was confused momentarily, and then I remembered Jacob, the red wolf. "I am only half a werewolf" I said, a little truth of course "I do not smell like one do I? I could be human, couldn't I? And my purpose... to learn the history of vampires, of course, sent by my... foster father Carlisle... who wishes for me to be a vampire one day and join him and his love in immortality"

I fell in love with my little fairytale immediately.

"Yes" Huilen breathed "That is purpose enough... now to alert your father to this..."  
"No!" I said quickly, touching her cold arm. "No" I said in a softer tone, smiling a little.

"Surely, you need his blessing?" Huilen asked.  
"Wont Leah want to know where it is you are going?" Isabella asked, frowning "Or Jacob?"  
"Wont Charlie want to know where it is you are going?" I asked her and she smiled, shaking her had.

"I am twenty two Olivia" she said.

"Well, I am eighteen in two days time" I said. "I can do what I want, and what I want is to come with you on this adventure..."

"But surely Aro would be concerned that a dear friend of his has not sent any note of approval?" Huilen asked.  
"Can't I be your pet then?" I asked her and she smiled, agreeing with me. "I could be... your distant relative too?"

"Oh, yes... you definitely could be a distant relative of Nahuel and I" she smiled, touching my black hair and flipping my hand in hers, surveying our skin tone's allied pale gold to ashen olive "If only your eyes were not so _sparkling_... your skin not so _supple_... and your lips not so _red_. If you were not so fair and _lovely_ and _warm _with your beating heart, you would be a good candidate for a sister of Nahuel's!"

"For my eyes... I could say I was my mother's daughter-she had been a tourist in Brazil from England? If it would help with our story..." I smiled as she brushed my hair, her fingers weaving through it. I wanted to pleaser her, I wanted to be shrewd and mature about this... an adventure to last a lifetime. My very own...

"Yes, your mother is rather lovely..." Huilen murmured "And you are almost her replica, but... I dare say your vitality and splendour is all from your father!" she took out her phone from her leather pouch, such a contrast the little sleek technological thing in the worn ancient bag.

"Felix" she answered, her expression controlled "I would like to come and see Nahuel now... I come with two others, if you can arrange our transportation... as we had agreed on"

"Bella!" I whispered, grabbing Bella's hand and forgetting our little passive fighting from earlier "It's really happening! It really is happening... you get to be with your prince! And I'll be there to see it, to witness it...!"

"Yes" Bella whispered, closing her eyes and a look of ease gracing her features "And I may just have forever, after _everything_"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

I thought I felt weary.

I thought that this could be the vampire version of exhaustion. My immortality and vitality to it, was worn down... my limbs and body, tensed to this living. At any moment, I would break... at any moment, I would come undone.

"Vampires that are... born to this immortality..." Aro mused, his back facing me and robe carelessly draped over his shoulders so an expanse of white flesh was left bare, his shoulder blades moving fluidly with each little flick he made with his arms, each brush stroke he manoeuvred on the canvas.

I hate myself more than I hate him, at times. I can never hate him more, maybe in equality... but never more. That would be, making him important to my pain. Wasn't it penance and atonement that I throw away the delusions and take responsibility... and I was first most responsible for my pain?

"Vampires that hate being Gods...!" he drones, acerbically, pausing his painting to revel in his disgust of 'such vampires'. He continues after a second, sighing in pity for these 'confused vampires'.

"You know..." he says, chuckling lightly and swerving the thick sleeve away from his right hand, an elegant action of course... but Aro is advanced in grace. If vampires are graceful by nature, he is purposefully graceful and very much aware of that fact. "You and Carlisle are not the only vampires that are born into immortality so full of self loathing. Why, Nahuel hates what he is... and from his mind I can see that his mother's sister hates him for making her what she is. She hates what she is too... infinitely more so, I bet, because she contains no... What was it that Carlisle used to drivel on about? 'Soul' and 'conscious' and 'compassion'?"

"The foolishness of that man!" Aro scoffed, painting with a bit more vim, a reflection of his jealousies and never ending fascination with Carlisle. "To believe he contained no soul, as a vampire and yet he walked around Volterra rescuing dogs and humans in equal love... burying his rats after feeding. Performing funerals for his little 'creatures great and small', coffins and all... the ultimate priest!"

I remain silent to his jibes, my arms locked behind my back, face impassive and unfeeling. I stand by the door of his study watching him... allowing him to go through his motions and formalities before he reveals what it is he wants from me. It could take minutes, it could take hours...

Only last week, he made me wait and watch him feed from a young woman and then proceed to enjoy a visiting vampires...attentions. He likes it when I am in the room for such things, always daring me to watch, always daring me to join in or consider my own attentions to him... like a gift.

"I digress" he says and I roll my eyes at the back of his head. "We were talking about the phenomenon of vampires that don't seem to understand they are Gods? I mean, even you with all your melancholia and lack of response, dear _beautiful _Edward... you know you are the apex of any beauty. I admit, I am yet to see a face and... eyes... lips... hmm, I digress yet again, don't I?"  
"You do" I manage, voice hoarse from a strain in my being. I had been silent and terse equally since completing my last undertaking, reserving my voice to only one being. Werewolves were not my forte... and to be assigned to capture a single one alone... was a test on my psyche. But I completed my duty, like he knew I would. I had been shrewd past my telepathy... and now, Volterra housed one lonely hungry 'human' looking creature in the deep dungeons of this palace. And I had moved past novice to my position in the Guard.

And I... had grown an extra century in a matter of years but still, Aro was catching up. Aro was suspicious.

"You are only that beautiful, sweet Edward... to distract me" he spun around and grinned at me. I twitched my lips in response and he groaned, returning to his picture deflated slightly "Sometimes I think I need to force you to kneel... force you to face me with that face, look at me with those eyes and kiss me with those lips... you remember, of course, our little games when you were still... new to me?"  
"I remember, of course" I say, rubbing my bare arm. Two deep scars run up it and end in two prominent puncture wounds, healed of course, but unmistakeable against my white skin in their purple.

"It just... wouldn't be right, for me to treat such a _deserving_ member of the _Elite_ in such a manner, such a hard worker..." he sighs "You always work hard... to be away from Volterra"  
"To _serve_ Volterra" I breathed "Like you commanded of me, after Felix secured you Huilen's word that she would do all in her power... to bring a half vampire. Werewolves, are scarce and well hidden..."  
"Yes, of course... you work hard, whatever... I get it" he scoffs contemptuously, impatiently. "I was telling you the nature of vampires that hate their vampirism... believe me, they are all the same. Whether they have rabbit fetishes like you or succumb to the instinct. Do you know why they are the same?"  
"No" I said.

"They fear being alone" he moved the paintbrush elegantly over the canvas, a lovely burning orange colour spreading from its tip in swirls "They fear having no distraction to their self loathing and they will do _anything_ to maintain a sense of company, a sense of... their lost _humanity_, even if they think they have moved past being human"

"All vampires fear being alone..."  
"You know that is not the case" he turned around briefly, a knowing smile on his lips "Vampires, we like being alone. We like to play with each other on occasion and then... the company gets wearisome much quicker than I think, even by human standards"

"Do you know what I think? Why, of course you do... but allow me your etiquette" Aro said, stepping back from his painting and surveying it "I think that vampires that long for their humanity are the weakest and most dangerous. In my experience, the ones that come to Volterra and under our judgement, the special ones that are over a hundred years but somehow manage to bring attention to them selves... it's the _same_ thing; they suddenly found themselves alone-maybe their partners couldn't stomach all the angst, and these vampires end up alone... wondering about their 'conscious'... their 'compassion'. Their 'missing souls' and all that wondering drove them insane..."

"Huilen" Aro said softly "She was asked to go and speak to the boy's father on behalf of me. She was more than enthusiastic to do this, little convincing on Felix's part; she sees the world as I do, effortlessly and willingly from her own resolve..."  
"I am _sure_ that _is_ the case"  
"Your sense of humour shines on even in your post-werewolf morose disposition... in fact, I thought you had lost in it with your bite marks!" Aro laughed. "Well, Huilen graciously intervened on behalf of us-wonderful woman, she is... and extended our invitation for a female sibling of Nahuel's to join us in Volterra in Nahuel's place"

"It seems, you will get what you want"

"I always do!" Aro said, violence flashing over his eyes. I could see the picture behind him, a picture of fire in a malevolent darkness. A picture of a desolate hell. "But I am not so naïve as to think that Joham would meet my request with civility! He set his dogs on my messengers!"

The paint brush went flying across the space so suddenly, and splintered on a far of wall with a resounding sharp clack-an ancient instrument destroyed, but he had many more of Rembrandt's brushes, I was sure. Preserved and loved for-like with all things with Aro, it was a temporary affection born out of vanity.

"He would never give in to her pleas and begging... that would be weakness in character" Aro said softly, folding his arms over his narrow chest. He was a whimsical being, soft. I couldn't imagine him being able to hold a fight in his lost human days... but he would know about his opponents past history, the way they thought and use that against them. "If I were him, I would see what I could do... how I could benefit from her _desperation_"

"Yes, that seems more likely" Aro whispered, shaking his head. "He would use her to uncover my side of the line... but it matters not. There is nothing of mine that he can hope to have. There is no secret or weakness... the vampires here are not desperate creatures wallowing in their lost humanity"

He obviously didn't pay attention to his favourite little creature Jane.

"There is _you, _of course_"_ he said, eyeing me from beneath thick manicured eyebrows and grinning impishly before pursing his lips knowingly at me "But... you have never been nearly as desperate and weak enough, nearly as _human _enough as to beg and plead for anything, eh, Edward?"  
"No, I don't think I have ever found myself in that position nor would I ever willingly walk into it"  
"No, not you... your price is too high" he agreed. "There is nothing, you want... and what you want, you can never have and you know it. This is, as good as it gets"  
"Better than I had ever anticipated" I whispered apathetically

"That's the spirit!"

Xx~xx~xX

"Nahuel, I need to know about Joham" I said softly and Nahuel groaned, his head hidden by his thick hair, arms wound around his knees and body rocking in the corner of his cell. "Would Joham bring one of your sisters to Aro?"  
"No" he breathed "Never. He loves them... they are his little _jewels_"  
"Sapphires" I said absently, thumbing the ribbon in my pocket. "But Huilen... she was sent there for that purpose?"  
"Huilen wouldn't go to such lengths..." Nahuel said dryly "For me"

"She hates being a vampire?"  
"Yes" he said.

"Then she will go to _all_ lengths for you" I whispered "Her hate for her form, has subconsciously caused her to retain a significant segment of her human self. She probably still remembers what her favourite colour was, her favourite dress and such..."  
"She probably remembers what my _mother's _favourite colour was..." Nahuel rasped, peeking up at me "She has retained my mother, in her mind"  
"It is as good as anything, your mother was human"

"How can you think this way, I know vampires grieve. Is that not a sign that they are not emotionless creatures?" Nahuel said "You told me of Marcus... that his detachment and indifference is contradictory to his thoughts and emotions. His one violent wish to be away from it all; gone and omitted?"  
"Yes, well... you misunderstood. They _do_ grieve, certainly" I said "But their emotions are felt in a different manner than ours"  
"Ours?" he raised an eyebrow and I sighed, taking a second to listen to the world outside his cell-through the corridors and other dungeons. He was alone, the only other being was the miserable old man hungry and sickly-a few days away from his hated full moon. "Edward... you are a vampire"  
"I am well aware"  
"Your very words don't match the coldness in your eyes!" Nahuel said sneering at me "You can come here, and seek my counsel... but you are one of _them_" he cocked his head upwards, to 'them' "At the end of it all, you are simply weeding out information from me!"  
"Aro has your every thought from that one touch" I said "What more can I want for him, from you? Do you forget that I am a telepath?"  
"Well, Aro has my every purposeful thought that has rooted itself in my memory..." Nahuel whispered, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall "But you have my stray ones. You have the ones rolling out in the present, the ones that are not fully formed and barely hidden"

"No gift is without its weakness" I said "It is Aro's ego that has made him ignorant of his gift's frayed and limited capabilities past just _touch..."_  
"And yet yours seems to be _perfection_"

"It hinders me" I said "It is my crutch... it stops me from connecting. There is no... need to connect when you can hear another's thought. I only ever connected with one being..."

"Who?" he was engrossed, again... forgetting his mantra that our chats were a ploy by me to garner information. In the moment, I was the most dexterous story teller.

"Carlisle, my maker" I whispered, the name rolling over my tongue like a droplet of blood in my parched mouth. "Because..."  
"Your gift was not a part of you as yet, it was separate" he whispered "You were New Born, still learning... still... adapting"

"Your English has improved"

"Your counsel has been regular for it to improve" he said "I am half vampire... but in a lot of ways, I am more vampiric. We learn fast, adapt... fast but this part that does that... is the human side of us, fighting to keep up and not be lost. Mind, I say human side... not _humane _side. I have only one sister, who is... as civilised as you say the vampires here are. And that's as human as Joham would have them"

"Hmm" I breathed, and he stopped, thinking he had revealed too much. And he had, but we both had... whether Aro would touch him ever again or not, I had said my fair share of incriminating half truths and he had yet again, lain his weaknesses bare. "Huilen is taking long... Felix has not heard from her"

"She is not a creature concerned with technology"  
"The implication is weighing heavily that she has become a double agent" I looked up at him "She is desperate enough to way Joham against Aro and Aro against Joham for you"  
"Not her"  
"Yes her, your mother's sister" I told him, and still... he didn't believe me. "Nahuel, she may very well be killed when she comes here without your sister..."

"She will not come with any of my sisters!" Nahuel's eyes shined with moisture, tears. I was jealous... terribly jealous. "She wont come here, ever! Not for me, and not or Aro! She is rid of me!"  
"Fantasies, dear child" I murmured, although he was much older than I was... my experience, had turned him into an infant. All he had ever worried for was his guilt for Huilen, his guilt for his mother and his little world in the jungle-evading other vampires and Joham. Locked in their territory and moving around it for decades.

I had been locked in the minds of others, and moving around them for decades. I had been locked in the hell of living heart break and moving around that for decades. I had loved, and lived, and been a monster and then an angel and then back to a demon... in a century. Even in that century, it was too much accomplished.

But what was I now? Demon or Angel? Crouched in Nahuel's cell, trying to understand Joham... to understand what to expect... so I could put myself in Aro's good graces again, when I anticipated some threat or foul play...

I had found Aro the Scandinavian man... and that had not been enough, since the man had arrived in Volterra a weak thin sickly human and not a rabid werewolf. And since Aro and I's silent agreement was that I could keep my thoughts, I could not show him that the man had been a beast on discovery. A ferocious one at that, and after I had waited it out until he transformed back into a man, I could drag his passive form to Italy...

I had to now wait for the moon, to prove my accomplishments yet again. I was constantly proving myself... we all were... every single Guard because that was what it meant, to remain immortal in Italy.

Here I was, the Demonic Angel... the Angelic Demon... with nothing but self serving intents for a caged Nahuel. Would I ever manage to atone for one sin, without creating other sins?

"And if she does manage to bring one of them, what then?" Nahuel whispered, his eyes large and warm beige skin wet with tears "I know what Aro wants to do... same thing Joham does, really. But you need a _child_ for that!"  
"What do you mean!" I hissed, all though I knew his mind.

"We are forever immortal and unchanged, after the age of eight" he grimaced. "And to date, none of my sisters ever conceived anything that _lived. _And to date, none of my sisters are younger than _thirty"_

I rose from the floor abruptly and glared at him. He seemed satisfied that he had shocked me, he seemed satisfied that he may have excused his sisters and Huilen... if they did show. He was still, so certain that Joham would never give up a single one of his jewels.

This made me certain, that when Huilen contacted Felix eventually... and when she made the trip to Volterra to finally meet Aro, it would be foul play. And this made me terrified, because... I could not anticipate Joham's move, once again.

I could still see his eyes, staring into mine and wondering what sort of vampire I was. I had been so certain he would fall into obsession then (as a scientist would, discovering a rare creature), I had been certain in fact... that he had fallen into obsession.

For the yellow eyed vampire.

Xx~xx~xX

She couldn't very well kidnap a half vampire...

They were not nearly as strong as some vampires, but they were strong enough... they simply bruised a little easier, from what I had seen from Nahuel. And of course, Nahuel's declaration that his father's love for his daughters trumped his need for his only son made me certain that Joham would laugh at her request for a holiday trip with any of his daughters, to visit their brother in a prison cell in Italy, Volterra.

She couldn't kidnap a half vampire, could she drug them? But still, how would she get past Joham...she couldn't. Joham was crafty, the perfect foe to Aro... they were made for each other.

Desperation, humanity, a conscious and loneliness... the words tumbled and stormed in my mind. I was nervous, alive... in a way that I had never been in a few years now.

And Aro was right; there was no weakness in his Guard for Joham to discover, exploit or abuse. Huilen's death, would be no skin of anyone's teeth... if she arrived without a half vampire. Her arrival _with_ a half vampire would be nothing either, except proof that Aro always got what he wanted... in the end.

Unlike Nahuel, I was now certain Huilen would come for her nephew... unlike Nahuel, I was certain Huilen discovered she truly loved the child that had doomed her to eternity. Unlike Nahuel, I knew about love... and love made us do _strange_ things.

Love, would pledge her to this journey... love would ascertain her arrival.

Huilen would come to Volterra.

Half vampire or none.

Xx~xx~xX

Jane's visits to my chamber were rare and when they did find themselves so suddenly scheduled... I always panicked. I had to panic; her and I were in our own little war amidst our unlikely alignment against Felix and Demetri's own agenda's for Aro's favour... for Caius favour.

"Have you heard?" she asked walking the length of my chamber with her hands crossed over her chest and eyes narrowed, her whole aura violent and unravelled. "Felix received a phone call"

"She has secured Nahuel bail?" I asked Jane and she nodded stiffly.  
"Edward, this is not good"

"No, it is perfect" I whispered. "What is there to panic about, Jane? Sweet Jane..."  
"Spare me your flattery!" she hissed "I am in no mood for it! I make one move against you, and while my attention is diverted... Felix and Demetri scheme against me. If I watch them, I leave you and Alec to scheme against me too!"  
"I am not scheming against you"  
"Your agenda is your own" she smiled, nodding her head "Sure enough, but what is to say that I would not find myself collateral in the wake of your ambitions?"  
"I have no ambitions!" I hissed  
"You found a fucking werewolf!" she laughed "When they are supposed to be extinct in Europe! I say that is very high ambitions... how badly do you want to be Aro's bitch? Is Marcus not good enough a master? Hmm? You know Caius does not care for you past to see you crumble and fall to your knees!"

"Listen to me, lest you let your childishness get in the way of things!" I hissed. "Huilen could not hope of convincing Joham to give him one of his daughters! There is no fucking way! And if she did manage to do so... what would it matter?"  
"You are asking questions you know answers too?" Jane said softly "You know something, don't you?"

"She comes empty handed, she dies" I said "She comes with a half vampire; she dies regardless... half vampire females may have a genetic deformity that renders them incapable of bearing children. The foetuses die, Nahuel has informed me... and besides, they fall into stagnancy at _eight years. _All of Joham's daughters are over thirty!"

"And you would have won favour in the end, with your werewolf..." she smiled.

"Yes" I said but the real favour I would have won, is highlighting to Aro that I was the only one in Volterra with my _still_ yellow eyes... capable of giving him what he wanted, with my _control_. He would need me... "I would have won... time. More time..."

She would be seven in two days time-with regards to Nahuel's estimations... that would put her at fourteen or fifteen. And I didn't want to worry about her being half Shapeshifter with regards to stagnancy. At eight, she would be irrelevant to Aro... and her existence would mean nothing to him if it was found out... save for his jealousies when it came to Carlisle.

"How much time could an immortal want!" Jane laughed.

"All I need is a year..." I said smiling, retrieving the blue ribbon. One more birthday, one last letter to Carlisle... and I would have found my atonement.

And then, maybe...

Heaven could accept me.

Or at least, my ashes would release me from this hell in Volterra.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**This was almost split in two.**

**Next chapter will be either titled Rumplestiltkin (aware the spelling is wrong...) or Rupunzel and it would be the last of the fairytale chapters probably. Seth's romance is mapped out somewhat while Jacob is rather tricky at the moment...**

**Remember to review your thoughts, theories likes and dislikes!**

**TJ**

**No hopping into bed before !**


	13. Beauty and the Beast

**BEAUTY AND THE BEAST**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

The lions den, she thought.

Skin breaking, bones creaking and cracking and the soft moans of pleasure from feasting vampires. If she could hear it in all its booming and violent torrents, then Isabella could hear it in soft murmurs to her human senses, but the horror in those whispers would be enough for her to know she had entered into the lions den. It was enough, because Isabella's hand was sweating in her grasp, Isabella's hand was shaking and Isabella's heart was spluttering and crying out in fear.

Blood, crimson strawberry smells, rust and salt hit the air hard. Not a scratch came from her throat, not a slur of hunger came from Olivia's form... only fear. The fear Olivia felt and the fear that Isabella was consumed by...

These fears, they were raw and wild.

She couldn't make sense or map out where it was she had gone wrong; how her feelings of acceptance and sisterhood with Huilen had been false and trickery. She looked back on it, remembering that Huilen had been all about bringing Isabella to Volterra? Had Olivia not been the one who had had to beg and scheme to find her self on the plane, seated next to an excited Isabella while Huilen looked on... agitated.

She had been the one to beg to come... how on earth, how on God's green earth did Huilen know she would _beg_? Olivia had no doubts that Huilen knew she was a half vampire, Olivia had no doubts that Huilen had known since their eyes had met for that very first time.

Olivia, however, had realised that Huilen's trip to Forks had not been to uncover the existence of a half vampire... Huilen discovering Olivia had been chance. Huilen had gone to find out information on the yellow eyed vampire-on Edward-on behalf of her Nephew's father... a request from this father of this mysterious Nahuel; his price to assist Huilen in finding her nephew.

And it had all been chance, and fate had been in Huilen's favour in the end for there she had been-dark haired and beautiful as Olivia was-and Huilen had known she didn't need Nahuel's father's assistance after all.

Isabella, was close to peeing herself, Olivia thought. Isabella was terrified, so sure she would be consumed at any moment by these creatures of the dark. The fear rolling off of Isabella was causing her little hand to shake, jerk and sweat in Olivia's own cool hand and this made Olivia very angry.

She was afraid too, Olivia thought. But she was angry... why couldn't Isabella be as angry as she was? In all her six years, she didn't remember being this angry and in all her six years... she didn't remember being this cross at herself for being a super freak and growing so fast. She knew her naivety had cost both her and Isabella their lives possibly...

Of course she was incensed with Huilen. She wanted to bite, kick, shoot, rip, stab and pierce Huilen. She wanted to pull Huilen apart... she didn't care that Huilen had 'one family' locked in Volterra and that the vampire woman had been desperate. She didn't care that Huilen looked on apologetically as the vampires had bundled Isabella and herself, pushed them into a van... laughing and murmuring their surprise that Huilen had succeeded in convincing Joham to give up one of his daughters.

Olivia didn't care...

But she did in the end. She cared that she was angry and scared. And her anger and fear were waging a war inside her and in that moment as she grabbed onto Isabella's hand to still the human's fears... Olivia knew she had to be her mother's daughter.

She had to be strong, strong like Leah... impossibly strong and calm like her Daddy too. This was all a game, Olivia whispered to herself. This was like with her Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett... no, she was not a child... it was time to grow up now.

This was like with Emmett and Jasper, this was like with Seth and Jacob... this was a game of war. And by God, she was going to put on her best poker face... and by God, she was going to rescue her own life and that of Isabella Swan.

By God, she was a Cullen.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

I owed it to him, to let him know that the woman he thought hated him and held him responsible for dooming her life to satiating the eternal blood thirst. This woman, his mother's sister, Huilen-I owed him this one thing, to let him know that she would be on her way simply because of that one sentiment hat Nahuel thought she didn't contain for him.

"Love, Nahuel" I said softly "It leads us to do strange things"

He was crying. He understood that Huilen's arrival in Volterra meant nothing with regards to his own future, joy or freedom. He understood now, that I had sought his counsel only to keep myself sane; for a telepath hears the thoughts of others, but never his own; and such muffled impenetrable musings can cause chaos in ones mind. Such intricate emotions and despair; such fleeting thoughts flashing and pulling and ringing through my mind at the most inopportune of moments, those accursed moments alone...

My mind was my Hell. And conversing with Nahuel had been a brief holiday to Purgatory.

"I can tell you nothing further" I said, kneeling by him and tugging the chain so his hand fell away from his face, and I could see his anguish. He refused to open his eyelids, but the tears that I was always jealous of fell over his youthful brown cheeks in rich liquid and his skin filled with the warm colour of emotion driven blood pulsing through his face.

"You have been kind, in your own way" he spluttered, peeking at me form beneath swollen eyelids. His eyes were red, his face puffy... but still, he was an immortal demigod. Still, he was a beautiful young boy that Aro would want... _forever_.

"No, I have not been kind" I smiled sadly, touching his much warmer hand. "There is only one kind act that I have committed in my eternity... and this act I have no uncertainties about is simply this; I returned to Volterra... I took my place in the Volturi and I embraced my pain and distress. That was my kindness to the world and my family"

"Would you say you were so evil then?" he asked, after calming down slightly "So evil that an act of kindness would be removing yourself from the world and your family?"  
"Yes, unequivocally" I smiled "I would say I was so full of evil... that banishment forever was the only way I could allow goodness to grow and flourish in my family. Yes, I think that is it"

For if I had been there, her little light would have extinguished.

"I think you don't understand evil!" he laughed harshly, shaking his head "I think you don't understand goodness. I think you are afraid of yourself and that there, Telepath, is the _truth_!"

"Yes, it is!" I laughed softly, a contradiction to the acid laugh he had let out. "I am my own monster"

"You said to me that vampires have no souls?" Nahuel shuddered, winding his arms around his knees and staring at three large dead rats in the far corner of his decrepit little abode-I had brought him the gifts, he had scoffed at it-but there they were, dead and drained.

Unfortunately, there was a blood bag right by the rodents. I could do nothing for him, if he got the regular 'prison food' regardless. I could do nothing for him, if he failed to connect how controlling the thirst allowed one to control their very psyche better...

I could do nothing for him, and now, I was slowly pulling my efforts out and investing them elsewhere.

"Yes, I said this" I murmured.

"And under that assumption..."  
"It is not an _assumption_, it is a fact!" I said sharply and he cringed back.

"Under that _assumption_..." he continued trying to regain his sternness, watching me with his dark tortured eyes "You believe yourself a monster?"  
"Why, yes" I said. "I have no soul"

"You are broken, Edward" he told me in his archaic Spanish "Your soul fissured and split into a thousand pieces... but it is from your own doing"  
"And now you understand then?" I replied him.

"I understand that you have misdiagnosed yourself" he smiled "The man you have in the dungeons, that _beast_... Now, when _he_ turns under the moon, you will see a true soulless monster. You my friend, simply have a not recovered every piece of your soul... it does not mean it does not exist. It is simply not whole"

"What do you know of souls and the like?!" I chuckled "You have never loved, you have never hurt..."  
"I was born knowing I would never be loved... I was born knowing I was the personification of pain to Huilen. What would have been the point after that? To bother with loving... and whom would I have loved, after I had killed my own mother?"

I pondered this, wondering if he had been right in his own way. Maybe I had unwittingly shattered my own soul through carelessness-through my childishness; unlike Nahuel's soul and that of Huilen that had died and been broken as a result of their environment. I thought of Jane and of Marcus... if we did possess things that resembled souls, our vampirism had devoured them and if not our own vampirism, then that of those surrounding us.

"To shatter ones own soul..." I mused "Surely, suicide is the worst sort of murder?"

"Do you agree you have a soul then?"  
"I agree that all vampires have a level of humanity, and what makes us truly monsters is that we kill this part of ourselves willingly and readily the moment we open our New Born eyes"

"Humanity would be the vampire equivalent of a soul, you say?"  
"No, not the equivalent... but a cheap imitation of a _true_ soul"

"Do you think I may die today?" he asked.

"No, not today" I said. "I see no purpose to that, you are more valuable than any _untalented_ vampire to Aro"  
"Will... will I see you after today?" he asked and I let out a soft despairing sigh.

"I had thought I had a year of... _this_" I waved my hand flippantly, to the walls and life of Volterra, outside his little cell of course "But I have a werewolf to wrangle today. I may not come out victorious with our Scandinavian friend..."  
"You are indifferent to your possible death?"  
"I am indifferent to my possible eternity!" I laughed. "I will see you one last time, at least. Aro relies on my gift heavily when it comes to making moves on his enemies... and more importantly, when it comes to manipulating Caius and Marcus"  
"Do you not worry that he will touch my hand, and know of our conversations?"  
"And then what of it?" I scoffed "There is nothing I have told you, that Aro himself has not theorized... remember, he needs to touch me so he can hear my thoughts. Whereas I only need to pay attention to him, to know his cruel ways"

"Edward!" Nahuel called as I rose from the ground. His shackled hands instinctually raised as though to capture me, to hold me and keep me with him for a moment more, keep us both from the torture of being alone with our own emotions and thoughts "Edward... is there ...nothing else?"  
"No, I don think there is anything else... that I can add that will be of comfort to you"  
"It seems so... final" he confessed.

"It is final, Nahuel" I said "There is no hope. If I am there, I may very well watch Huilen die with you... if she escapes death, I may watch her be dismissed from Volterra _without_ you. If she has managed to secure one of your sisters... I may watch her dismissal from Volterra, and you may watch me prove to you that I am selfish... for I will ruin your sister and Huilen and alert Aro that no half vampire over _eight_ by your word can conceive and that none of Joham's daughters have yet to give birth to a _living_ child or one that lived for longer than a day"  
"Why would you do such a thing?!" he asked pained, his eyes disbelieving on my face "Aro... he is..."  
"Impulsive, violent and contemptuous" I said stiffly "He would banish the failure of Huilen along with Huilen's immortality"

"But the reason!" Nahuel cried "The reason you would condemn two lives by revealing what I told you in confidentiality?!"  
"Half a life, Nahuel" I whispered, inspired by his strained love for his half sisters "It is, but half a life..."  
"You cannot pick your kindness! You cannot pick your wickedness!" he hissed in Spanish, pulling against the treated titanium chains, snapping and hissing at me. His hair wild and eyes blazing with the realisation that he had been right all along; I had been sifting out information from him, but not for Aro... no, not really. For Azure, but of course he didn't know this part. No one did.

And no one ever would.

"The reason, that I would willingly do this?" I asked "Why, you have seen how it is in the Guard. We fight tooth and nail for our survival in the Elite. Felix and Demetri, they made their calculated move when they returned and searched for Huilen... this was, of course, to garner their own favours from Aro. I am a telepath, my curse and life boat; those two would ruin me at the slightest chance.

And so, I made my own calculated move... to counter their attack. To block it... and I thank you for that. For once again, my unwanted ambition to topple the head of the Elite, to trump Alec and Jane in the race... is secured. I am two steps ahead... do I care if Aro sees this in your mind, you wonder? Why would I? Aro knows what I am... I am Narcissus"

"You are a monster!" he hissed

"Do you believe now, that I have no soul?"  
"Yes!" he spat.  
"But Nahuel, what took you so long?"

Xx~xx~xX

I moved swiftly through the corridors, stopping momentarily to check on the Scandinavian. How a man could have no name, was besides me. But I understood that no beast gave itself an individual name outside of the title of its race...

He had been in the coldness for too long. Old and worn out, immortal but aged from hunger...

I touched the thick bars of his cell, my fingers winding around the sturdy titanium reinforced pole. He was shivering under the bed, naked. The clothes were tossed in the middle of the space, the table given to him for the illusion of civility-much more civility awarded to the beastlike human than to the human demigod-but he didn't care for it. Not for the large space, not for the untouched food, not for the lovely white pyjamas...

I tugged once and the pole made not a sound, not a groan and not a crack from the concrete above us that the pole disappeared into.

"I have no sense of self" I murmured, looking back at him. I had not seen any intelligence in his eyes when I had come to him the second time around, when I had captured him after he transformed back. I had waited and waited, but his pale watery blue eyes remained unfocused and distracted.

"But they don't know that" I said to him, knowing that his mind could not hear me, could not make the words turn into anything he understood-his mind, was safe from any form of telepathy. He was in pain, he was sweating and hungry... those were his only vaguely intelligent concerns.

"Chess" I smiled "You see, telepathy is such a _pain _when it comes to chess! I have never enjoyed a game of chess the way I would watch my brothers enjoy it..."

"This was all like a game of chess in a way" I sighed "And I enjoyed this. Moving the queen, pressurising the bishop... the strangest game, because I was setting _my own pieces _against each other to save the pieces of the other opponent..."

I stopped, my breathing slightly harried, uselessly so and then in a calmer breath I murmured to him, my one audience "Caius knew of my conversations with Nahuel, he is a proficient master more so than the self absorbed Aro. I had to cover my tracks; Caius would most certainly request that Nahuel's thoughts be given to Aro... and all Aro would find was that he was right all along. I liked to be the best at everything, to be the most skilful Elite Guard. No harm done, save to elevate me further..."

"No harm done, really" I sighed, allowing my pain for Nahuel's fate to set hold of the part of me I reserved only for missing and loving my long deserted family "I think I have gone mad" I looked at the quivering dribbling man, a little far off in the shadows underneath the bed.

"A spirit has knocked my essence out of me!" I hissed, gripping the bars hard and squeezing, revelling in their strength and stubbornness-their refusal to wield to my preternatural strength. My head fell against the warm cold bars, my breathing laboured. I needed this moment, to unravel...

I needed to come undone.

"Ngh...!" I sobbed, gulping down emotions and violently jealous yet again, that they would never be released as freely as Nahuel's emotions were through his hot tears and shuddering fast heart. "I don't know who I am" I whispered "I don't know _what_ I am...!"

I was most certainly no longer Narcissus and yet, in this pain of my loss of identity... I knew that whatever I had transformed into made me lethal and more than an adequate adversary to each of the Elite. It put me ahead of them _all_.

"It matters not..." I whispered, pushing away from the bars and collecting my self, breaking the humanity in me once more so I could conduct myself in the proper manner. In the vampire manner...

"I am what I am" I said with severe conviction; it was not to convince myself but to establish the fact and keep it from billowing and blowing away with other ancient sorrows "And that is the last and only beauty in me. That is, what makes me beauty"

Xx~xx~xX

Jenny was not Italian nor was she, anything magnificent outside of her pretty doll like features.

I was more than capable of telling the magnificence in humans, after spending most of my eternity mingling with them and studying them-finding them fascinating and repulsive, irrelevant and entertaining. Jenny was Alec's new pet and she had been flown in from America after our brief period awaiting our departure from South America.

Jenny was a woman and by that account alone she was not Alec's regular choice. I had no human pet, much to Aro's annoyance -human blood and half vampire related annoyances. Jane couldn't seem to _not_ end up mentally ruining her pets and had given up on the culture of it while Felix and Demetri enjoyed teasing human females on occasion. Their pets, Felix and Demetri, were well trained and purposeful.

"He does it to irritate his sister, you know" I said and Jenny-who had been keeping her gaze firmly on her stack of papers (her bachelor degree was now being used to sort out Alec's finances and pocket money). She found me the most beautiful out of all the vampires; she found me the most enchanting in my silence and misery. I found her irritating when she crossed my vision, or Jane's mind.

"Alec you mean? He does what?" she lifted her head up, perplexed by my beauty. I leaned over the desk and smiled gently, her thoughts frazzled and skin burning hot.

"Alec, he allows your existence in here to irritate his sister" I looked about us. "He picked you well"  
"He will turn me"

"He is vaguely interested in women, and by vague I mean not at all" I said and she pursed her lips.

"Felix has returned with devotees and a vampire" she said softly, going back to her scribbling and punching at her calculator furiously "I am amazed you were not called to the meeting?"  
"They are feeding first, on the devotees" I said and she tried to ignore the casualness that there was a mass murder happening behind the giant oak doors. "You didn't see Felix, unfortunately... you heard this from Alec" I stated, hearing her messy thoughts. I listened in on the murder and gorging that was happening-the Elite and other lesser guards joyous on Felix's bountiful 'catch' and the 'youth' of it.

"Are you so terrified of... it" she cocked her head to the doors. I laughed involuntarily, the awkwardness of the slither of random joy alien to me.

"I am entering, no doubt... feeding frenzy or not. Some get-togethers you will learn cannot be missed because of something as silly as a little blood splattering on the marble floors and lifeless corpses littering the place" I enjoyed her fear "Jenny, I wanted to tell you about your use in Volterra didn't I?"  
"What of it?" she asked, going for cocky and coming out awestruck when her eyes trailed my beauty.

"Alec picked you because you look like something that would have been Jane, had Jane been allowed to grow a little more" I said "And Jane is going to kill you one of these fine days from jealousy"

"Wh..."

"Yes, you are going to die soon" I cut her, admittedly enjoying her fear "And no, you will not awaken an immortal. You are going to die because your eyes are shaped like Jane's and your lips are shaped like Jane's. You are going to die because of your slim figure and hair... your nose and your pale skin. Alec and Jane, dastardly twins... their cruelty and love for each other leaves bodies and death in its wake. Kind of like what is going on in there..."

I cocked my head to the oak doors in the same manner she had. "Good day, Jenny... if I were you, I would take the day off from Alec's finances, go to the spar... and maybe, never return"

Xx~xx~xX

I went in through the hidden door. The oak doors would be locked of course.

It was a mess, like it always was but they all thought they were at the peak of civility, dining with the finest cutlery-razor-sharp teeth and marble claw fingers. Felix immediately thought my name when he saw me, and I met his gleaming eyes. He grinned purposefully at me, touching the olive toned vampire woman beside him and pulling her attention away from a meticulously feasting Demetri.

"There is Nahuel's jailor" he murmured to her and I sighed, rolling my eyes. I had stopped breathing, but I could imagine it in the air-rust elixir. I moved towards Felix, my hands locked behind my back and eyes watching the deaths of many a human-the low moans and groans of their vampire lovers, holding them carelessly in their arms and breaking bones in their 'civilised' passion.

"Congratulations" I told Felix.

"Congratulations to you too" he scoffed "I hear you managed to find a werewolf in Europe! That there, is something..."

"It was not without work" I raised my arm and showed him the scar, a souvenir from learning that wrangling a werewolf was not something advisable without proper training and experience.

"Yes, well... unfortunately my task was easier and less macabre than yours" he said, smiling at Huilen who was indifferent to anything except her anticipation to see her nephew "It was Huilen here who put in the most work..." he casually gazed at two shivering humans, their hands were bound and heads covered by black cotton bags. They twitched with each groan of pain they heard around them, and I could imagine the hellish scenario welling in their minds...

"Half vampires?" I asked with difficulty when I could hear nothing, but see only vague 'imaginations' from the one 'human', of what was taking place outside the darkness of the cloth bag on her head. Limbs torn, Huilen glowering with joy at her success... mental slides flashed over each other from her mind. I looked down and saw that they were holding the other with bound hands, support in the face of horror.

"Yes" Felix smiled, showing gleaming teeth "You seem surprised?"  
"Surprised... Why?" I was not about to tell him that the two beings he held, had shields over their thoughts.  
"I thought you would use more adjectives?" he snickered.  
"I apologise" I waved at the scene in front of us "But I am out of breath, after the place is cleaned up I will give you my proper acclamations"

"I am holding you to that!" he winked, pulling the taller girl by her arm closer to him and consequently the shorter one nudged in the same direction from her clasped hand joined with the other girl.

"You and I both know, its not every day one manages to 'amaze' all three of the holy trio"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**OLIVIA CAMILLE CULLEN**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**x**

"Half vampires?" the vampire's clear voice cut Isabella's low groan, his honey tone rising slightly in disbelief.

"Yes" Huilen's vampire connection growled "You seem surprised?"  
"Surprises... Why?" it was the strangest conversation. I tried to recall the parts about 'Werewolves', immediately fearing for my family... my Quileute family and their carefree ways. I imagined Sam here and hearing the deaths of many a human...

I imagined angered wolves standing up to these vampires. I imagined the death of these wolves, and my imaginations stopped abruptly... my heart clenching.

"I thought you would use more adjectives?" Huilen's vampire snickered.  
"I apologise" the new vampire said shortly, pausing before saying in the same clear honey tone that managed to be lovely and stiff-hiding any chance realising sarcasm in his words "But I am out of breath now, after the place is cleaned up I will give you my proper acclamations"

"I am holding you to that" Huilen's vampire growled and he tugged me closer to him, Isabella letting out a soft yelp when I dragged her with me. She stiffened before letting out a difficult breath.

"You and I both know, its not every day one manages to 'amaze' all three of the holy trio" I could feel the coldness of him, I could smell the sweetness and perfume. I was terrified, his hand gripping me hard. I wouldn't let out a sound, I just wouldn't...

I had been strong from birth and I would be strong even in death.

"Clean this up!" a girl called, a vampire-her voice high and tinkling but the tone so sharp. The room began to quieten, the sounds of death and feeding desisting. "Felix, you have out done yourself"  
"If only you had pried yourself from your room, sweet Jane" this Felix-Huilen's connection, laughed.

"Did you manage to get our monk to take a drink?" Jane's voice was suddenly close. She was standing next to Isabella-sandwiching Isabella and me between her and Felix.

"Nope" Felix popped the 'p', and my heart panged... I wanted Jacob here... I wanted safety, a warm smell like my room... not the smell of blood and death and strange vampires.

There was movement, fast and organised and doors and shutters opened. Soft murmurs as vampires spoke amongst themselves, discussing us-the two 'half vampires'. Discussing the magnificence that was the Elite Guard-the conquest of retrieving half vampires and a werewolf.

This was an assembly, of the highest importance in this echoing large room.

"Order" Jane said in the same droning bored tone but suddenly, there was a series of fleeting sounds and Isabella and I were nudged forward, Felix murmuring softly to Huilen to stand beside her Bail Fee.

"My, my, my..." a man breathed, somewhere in front of us. "My children have outdone themselves this century! This is all too much, isn't it too much... Marcus?"  
"Yes" the voice was male, with a deeper tenor of boredom than Jane could ever accomplish. "Too much"  
"Much, much too much" another male voice from in front said deprecatingly "I see Huilen went over board with her bail, one two many half breeds there?"  
"Why, wasn't she the smart one!" the lively voice laughed "She brought bail for herself too!"  
"Edward, would you organise for her nephew to join us?" the dry voice muttered and there was quick movement and the soft sound of a shutting door. "Not very magnificent specimens... these half vampires"

I was recovering from whiplash, trying to still Isabella and squeezing her hand hard. Yes, we had heard Edward's name... and no, this meant nothing. Nothing could be done. I could sense the other vampires in the room, they numbered over eight... and eight vampires was seven vampires too many as it was.

The bags were taken from our heads, the light of the space burning my eyes slightly before my vision righted itself. The room wasn't at all that bright but the darkness of the bags had been consuming. It was magnificent; it was opulence and baroque...

Something out of a painting from long ago, something polished and majestic. And as my eyes righted themselves, I saw them... just like in Daddy's paintings. I saw them; Marcus, Aro and Caius-the 'holy trinity'.

"My, my, my..." Aro leaned forward from his large regal seat between a bored Marcus and a scowling Caius "Aren't you just... _lovely_!"

I couldn't speak, my mouth shut and eyes wide and fearful-entranced by his strange red ones gleaming with cruel delight.

"And her...!" Aro laughed, pointing rudely at Isabella before nudging a silent Marcus enthusiastically. Marcus made no response save for a subtle rolling of the eyes. "Her... oh, my word... now Huilen, you are most strange for bringing her!"

"I have brought you what you wished for" Huilen said "A half vampire"  
"She says a _single_ half vampire, Aro!" Caius hissed at Aro, scowling at me before glowering at Isabella.

"Yes, she has not lied dear Caius!" Aro laughed "It is us who made the assumption because of the two beating hearts! Isabella, I remember you from another's memory..." Aro moved from his seat rapidly, arriving too close in front of us and causing Huilen to take a step back "I have wondered about you, Isabella... to purchase a spot in Edward's mind. Do you how high his mental rentals are?"

He took Isabella's hand and turned it in his strange matt and ashy ones. "Not a thought from you!" Aro laughed, turning around to grin at Caius "How right Edward had been!"

"Edward!" Aro called as a door behind us opened and shut just as rapidly. I didn't dare look around-my fear f Aro knowing about Isabella, trumping my curiosity of the other fearful heartbeat approaching us. "Edward, look who has come to visit you!"  
"No" was all Edward managed, never coming before us and remaining behind Isabella and I. "Bella?" his voice was alluring, the ridges of tension hidden in it.  
"Edward!" Bella cried, spinning on her heels and about to condemn us completely. I held her in place, pulling her back but she wouldn't look up at Marcus and Caius seated on the throne-her neck craned dangerously back to stare at her Shining Prince. She wasn't trying to keep a poker face, she wasn't trying to play a game and see if we could come out of this alive.

"And not a thought from her!" Aro laughed, returning to his seat. "No, come... embrace her! You have been so morose and bland for these past years... I would have you _smile finally..._"

His request sounded threatening, his eyes sadistic and cruel as he watched from above our heads-as he watched behind us-gazing at Edward Cullen approaching his fair princess.

"I am quite astounded!" Aro laughed, clapping his hands "Isabella, I mean... you are unremarkable, truly" he told Bella apologetically and then pointed at me "There, is remarkable right there. See those eyes, see that skin... hear that faster heart beat! Nahuel... come now, embrace your sister"  
"My sister?" Nahuel asked.

"Yes, yes... come! I have come with your sister, Nephew¬" Huilen commanded desperately and suddenly, I was held by a shivering hot arm and separated from Isabella-wrenched across the room towards Huilen and Nahuel and pushed into some warped little family while Isabella remained in the centre before the Holy Trio... with Edward Cullen standing stiffly and emotionlessly by her side.

I glanced at him quickly, he didn't turn to look at me... his eyes wide and terrified, staring at the three vampires that held the fate of his fair princess. But he was beautiful, I could tell... he was... so... beautiful...

I looked back up at the three thrones quickly, allowing the strange half vampire Nahuel to hold me. He kept glancing at Huilen in confusion, but his arm did not move from my shoulders. He trusted his mother's sister, and was falling into whatever ploy Huilen had hatched from the moment she had looked into my eyes and doomed me by finding her nephew's salvation from Volterra in me.

"This... is quite... something!" Aro laughed his voice high and mirthful around us. A contradiction to the atmosphere in the large hall; the other vampires standing by pillars around us, watching us carefully and with intention while the 'guests' to this meeting stood in the centre, in silent anguish and fear.

"Edward is that what a turned vampire looks like?" Caius asked, leaning forward and smirking at Edward. His grin was self satisfied and eyes excited "Edward... are you so incompetent that you failed to change your human into a vampire on request? Or did you think that we would never find out?"  
"Caius!" Aro reprimanded sharply "Edward... has done so much!"  
"He has" Marcus agreed before looking on in indifference. "But this... Aro, must be dealt with. A candidate for Leader of the Elite showing such impertinence to our one law?"  
"Well, we allow humans to know of us for decades before killing them?" Aro said thoughtfully.  
"So allow for her to be killed!" Caius grinned hungrily. "Kill her, boy, since you don't know what to do with it!"  
"No..." Edward's voice came out strained and parched "How...?" and then he turned his head, and I saw how truly glorious the enigmatic Edward Cullen was. I saw, why this vampire would have been the first to be created by my father-who had hated venom and all things to do with it so thoroughly, and gone against it but for him, for Edward... an exception had to be made. This one being, could never have been permitted to die in his time... how could he be allowed to deny every era of his quintessence, his presence...

Edward's eyes swerved to Huilen momentarily, and in that moment a threatening growl escaped his lips before his gaze fell heavily and in shock on my face. I heard my self gasp, and I saw his fear and bewilderment staring at me from blended gold eyes and in that second...

Any game and poker face I could hope of ever having begun unravelled. I was lost, I was found... I was plain and exquisite in his eyes. I was nothing and everything... how could I control myself, how could I save Isabella... how could I save myself when I no longer held my own psyche in control.

"No" Edward said, shaking his head with purpose at me. I looked at him in confusion.

"No, what?" Aro asked innocently. "You will turn the girl or no you won't turn her and will finally satiate your thirst for her blood"  
"Huilen..." Edward's voice came out louder, his expression changed. It was as though he had not been terrified, as though he had expected Isabella to be here all along... as though he had not looked into my eyes and known who I was. "Huilen has not brought you a daughter of Joham's"

"The matter can be solved by a simple touch" Aro sighed bored, flipping his hand in the air and leaning back in his lush throne petulantly. "I don't care for Huilen... Jane, kill her for me would you dear?"  
"NO...!" Nahuel cried, forgetting about his 'dear' sister and releasing me and going in front of Huilen, kneeling on his knees with his hands clasped in front of him as though he were praying to Aro.

"I don't see the issue here?" Aro asked, visibly irritated now and ignoring the ragged Nahuel "Edward... we have our half vampire, the girl is so obviously not human" he pointed at me "We are a step ahead of Joham now... we have our werewolf? The plans are laid out, my beautiful..."

"Yes" Edward said "It is a game and we _have to keep our poker face!_" he turned his eyes only, a small glance at me and I stiffened. I had to keep my poker face...

And what better way to unravel a scheme than to blindside it altogether.

"I am not human!" I cried, shocking myself with the sound of my own voice. Huilen hissed at me, attempting to hold me back but I whacked her hand away and moved forward into the holy trio's sights "I am not human! She brought me here under false pretence! Isabella too...! She came to..."

Like with any game and war... you search for your opponent's weakness.

"She came to disrupt your guard!" I said "I am not human... nor am I a half vampire!"

"Then what are you?" Caius scoffed "A _fairy?_"

The hall filled with soft chuckles suddenly but Aro in all his enthusiasms for fun, remained impassive to the humour.

"Then, what are you?" Aro asked firmly, rising from his seat and walking towards me "I have never seen such startling eyes... I admit. And so blue... like water and fire, as one. Your hair is in its darkness, your skin is not paleness of death... nor is it filled with sun of life" he took my hand and held it in the same manner as Isabella's.

Edward watched his approach with new terror, and I thought I had to be strong. I had to survive this... I just had to. It was not training in any martial arts that I had needed, not guns and swords... I had needed to know, my enemy. And they had denied me that, by telling me he was nothing but evil.

How did they deceive each other, in Jacob's pack? I remembered the heated tips and tricks the wolves gave each other on maintaining their secrets... but could I do such a thing? Could I keep a part of me locked-but wasn't that the lesson I had been learning all along, never knowing who I truly was inside this body... keeping such a thing away? The truth was always better hidden when only a little of it was given...

His scent was all wrong, so sweet and concentrated and his touch caused me to cringe back. he rubbed his cold skin over my hand, moving my fingers and smiling absently at me. I am a werewolf, I thought. I am a werewolf... I have to be a werewolf... I am, no longer half vampire and half Quileute. I am now, and forever... a wolf.

"...I see nothing!" Aro laughed, never releasing my hand "But werewolves!"

"Yes" I whispered, a manic smile on my face "I am a werewolf! I am a werewolf!"

"Huilen... you sought to deceive me?" Aro laughed acidly "You thought you could bring _snakes _into my home?"

"No...!" Huilen cried "Master Aro... no! The girl... she is..."  
"Impudence!" Edward hissed "Of the highest accord! Aro, her mind... do not touch her! She is poison...! Joham sent her!"  
"What are you doing, Edward!" Nahuel cried, grabbing onto his aunt "No... she did nothing, Edward... you know this!?"

"Please!" Huilen begged.

"Jane... if you would stop this hazardous _humiliation_?" Edward said in a clear controlled voice, his eyes blazing as they locked with the eyes of a small angelic young girl.

"I have to say, I agree with Edward" Aro had retracted his hand as though he really had been poisoned by the simple thought of touching Huilen. "We have brought snakes into our home, my children..."  
And with that, Huilen came alive in her nephew's arms... screaming and writhing as Nahuel tried to put out invisible flames before releasing her body all together and watching as Huilen's mind was broken into a thousand pieces. I shivered as her red eyes rolled back, I felt my heart stiffen as a trickle of silver drool escaped her lips and when two burly vampires came over her... pushing Nahuel out of the way cruelly and curtaining their activities...

I looked away, as her limbs were torn apart in a winding screeching sound and a spark was lighted. Soon, the chamber filled with thick perfumed smoke but it lasted a second as a shutter was opened, and the smoke trailed and escaped through the vent.

I shuddered, staring at my hands. They might as well be gloved in red... or silver.

"One problem down" Caius murmured, then waving his hand at Nahuel's shivering form over the burnt patch on the marble floor he said coldly "Take the boy back to his cell, please... someone"

I stood alone shivering and trying to keep my childish fears at bay, off centre of the hall while Isabella clutched Edward for dear life.

"The next issue of the day is Isabella!" Aro said her name in a singsong manner "You are supposed to be undead or ashes? How is it you are standing here alive?"

"And note, Edward..." Caius said "This is now, you and your little human's joint trial"

"I will turn her" Edward rasped desperately "I will... simple formalities. I have... convicted myself to the cause fully now"

"You thought you could keep this from us, though... didn't you boy?" Caius asked, enjoying himself.

"Yes" Edward shocked them with his honesty "I thought I was trading my self, for her"

"You made us believe she was dead" Aro murmured "And I gave you such leniency with your memories"  
"And I thank you for the _continuation_ of that leniency as I remain loyal to you, Master" Edward said quickly and Aro laughed.

"You have to love his ambition!" Aro chuckled, his eyes swerving to me "Eh, our little _apparent_ werewolf who looks nothing like one. They seem to be well fed these days, much more... civilised?"  
"Well, it would be a better improvement" Caius muttered "Jane... let's see how much of a werewolf she is?"

"Huh?" I began, looking over to Edward for some hidden message to the strange instruction but his eyes closed tightly and lips pursed rigidly. I only had a second to meet Jane's eyes and comprehend the situation...

And then I was in hell. I was burning... I was in pain... I was... thrown into a living inferno. It was everything my father had told me about her, and yet he had not done the cruelty of such an experience any justice. I could hear my screams and my growls... my shudders and my twitching limbs. Barbed wire raked over my skin and tears fell from my eyes...

I saw my mother, I saw my father, my family... I saw Bart, and I saw Seth... and I saw Jacob in the light of darkness, forever changed to me in his glorious misery... and I saw Edward Cullen too beautiful and heartbreaking, my father's first... and Isabella's only... the mystery, partly solved... through the pain of it all...

I saw the little red fox, staring at me curiously from inside a bush... its fur lovely and red metallic, eyes amber and nose black and adorable.

And when I fell back on the cold marble floor-for somehow, I had been levitating with pain-my eyes failing to remain open, I saw Edward Cullen take a step forward towards the large platform where the three kings sat, pleading and begging... falling to his knees.

"No, Aro...!" his voice cried. "It is a full moon!"

"And you agreed she was a child of the moon" the dry voice murmured "Send her to the dungeon and let her awake with the Scandinavian werewolf!"  
"No, please... don't you do this...!" Edward cried, moving forward fast but then he stopped, shuddering and tipping into the air as Jane caught him in her eyes.

Such pain, such hurt... from two doe like eyes.

I was picked up easily from the floor, my limbs dangling from over the large vampires arms. "You smell good, better than any werewolf I have ever come across... you look better too!" he chuckled, the air rushing past us as he moved like a ghost through shadows and doors. "There..." I was tossed hard, landing painfully on the floor. I watched him numbly as he shut the bars and stood at the other side, grinning at me.

"It seems, that pretty boy won't get to be a big man after all!" he laughed and a small angelic boy appeared beside him, glaring at me with disgust.

"If I had known I would only need to stand aside and allow for Edward to destroy himself" the boy muttered "I would have spared myself so much... self disappointment"  
"I am glad you are on our side" the burly vampire chuckled.

"Jane... she has always had the power" the boy sneered "Without Edward to keep her sane, she can finally be put in her rightful place. Bellow me"  
"Daddy, please..." I heard myself whisper, rolling my head pained away from the image of vampires watching me like some animal in a zoo. I sighed, my mind slipping from reality, and before darkness consumed me... I saw a shivering naked scrawny old man under a table or a bed, clawing at him self... and just through the high window, the glow of the moon fleeted inside the darkness.

"The moon Jake..." I muttered, going under in my mind "The wolves are coming to get me, to get Mowgli"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The pain shot through the right side of her head, a heady throbbing sensation pulsing in time with her heart beat. She was lost in a strange darkness; shadowiness, a low cloud that had settled over her eyes and covered everything in gauze. She could see reality in front of her; she could see the strip of bright light that she knew was the fluorescent light, she could see the strangely white walls of the cell and its vague cleanness-all of it was contradictory to the dungeons and cells she had seen on her way down there.

The man, was no longer shivering. He had started trembling and emitting low animalistic moans. She knew she was in trouble, but she couldn't move. She was lost in the darkness, in the numbness of having ones head smashed into a concrete floor superhumanly hard... her spine, she thought, was all wrong. She couldn't feel, she could barely think... and maybe she would have had her brains smashed all over the floor like jelly oozing from a broken glass... just maybe...

But her Daddy was a vampire and her mother was 'the' She-Wolf.

And she was supposed to be pretending to be werewolf. What did werewolves do... she wondered, in her chaotic state of lack of concentration. Every fleeting thought was but an ant skittering over the ground, her pain being the very earth...

The man, she thought, was no longer a man. A long rat like tail escaped from under the bed, and suddenly she couldn't see through the shadows. She could only see black...

"Ngh..." Olivia moaned as her adrenaline shot up and pushed her 'half coma' aside. She recognised this feeling, she had felt it when she had watched Jacob stare at her with raw uncontrollable rage... the type of rage that no human can ever hope of feeling. This was fear... and her mind quickly calculated that her response to this type of fear was due to what level of effect on her immediate well being.

She was in danger.

She tried to move her leg, but the limb betrayed her efforts and remained miserably bruised and still. Not a twitch of a finger, not a wiggle of a tow... just her eyes staring at the darkness bulging out of the bed and realising that what she was seeing was leathery skin and brittle fur. The bed, sat on top of the werewolf comically like a hat.

Its eyes were on her, and Olivia thought she would wet herself. She wanted to wet herself so badly, if only to make the thing look away, if only to release her terrified gaze from its hungry eyes. it growled and a whimper rocked up and down in her throat. A long hand-like paw tipped with coarse hooked nails shot out and scraped over the floor.

As her eyes swivelled to stare at the dangerous deformity still transforming under the moon, she could see her blood pooled around her head. She wondered, stupidly and irrelevantly due to the danger she was in... but she wondered anyway; if God had granted her one request to be normal then she would have found her bones shattered after the vampire had tossed her inside, she would have found her mind spread out on the floor like pâté and she would not have been able to react to the situation with the Royal Vampires as swiftly as Edward Cullen had been demanding she react.

"No" her voice was but a croak as the beast stood up finally, a rat like thing with mangy skin and hungry eyes. It eyed her greedily and let out a droning snarl, its lips pulling over its teeth. Before she could let out another pathetic protest, it pounced on her and took her in its mouth...

And Olivia Camille Cullen understood for the first time what the meaning of pain was.

Her every nerve became alive, and if she was of the mind that she had been paralysed... three teeth through her body quickly corrected her. Her screams were louder than her thoughts, but her thoughts were nothing but screams... echoing each other and fighting for recognition. The muzzle was squeezing, she could feel pain and things grind inside her that she had never taken much note of in all her six years of life.

Pain, was knowing you were alive. Pain, was being alive... and pain, made you want to _die_.

"Argh, please..." her voice was raw, her cries so drenched in unhinged pleading that it shocked a side of her that remained conscious through out the pummelling pain. Why was she weak? Had she always been this weak...? Had her mother taught her this method of fighting, to beg?

Was she not, her mother's daughter?

"No...!" Olivia wailed and she punched the beast's mouth, gripping onto the side of its contorted face and digging her fingers into the hard flesh. She couldn't break through to the skin, but she crunched it into her fists and twisted, pulling out strange thick whiskers and leaving the pores bleeding.

It let out an odd whimper that passed over her body, and in its moment of distraction, she punched its eyes. It released her, dropping her to the floor clumsily before skipping two steps back and growling complaint while rubbing a hand-paw over its ugly face.

Olivia could feel her toes, her feet all the way up to her finger tips. She could also, feel her puncture wounds from the werewolf's teeth. She tried to crawl away, her blood colouring the floor beautifully in her sad escape but the long dreaded hand found her and scraped over her back, pulling her back to it.

She was crying, begging and cursing...

But most of all, she was angry. In everything, in all of it... Olivia knew, she was unambiguously angry and she hated that she knew who she was angry with. She was livid, beyond fury... at herself. At her naivety... at her lack of caution and guard and at the pain she would be bringing over her family as she died and was eventually ingested and digested by a rabid dog.

"No..." she was shivering, terror working through her...

And for a while, she thought it was like when she had thought Jake was after her. For a moment, she thought it was like when Jane had looked at her and she had fallen beneath the surface of hells fire...

But it wasn't.

This was new. It was hot and uncontrollable, and it worked over her spine... repairing and refusing any further damage from the werewolf. This was fierce and welcome, embracing her fear and combing it with her rage...

"I am not a child" she said evenly, her voice holding only a bit of rawness instability from her pain. "Not ever..."

Not ever... not ever... will I be a babe. Not ever, will I be indebted to the world for my lack of independence, not ever will I be a burden due to my youth... not ever, will I die... in this crappy cell from my idiocy...

Not ever, Olivia chanted and her skin trembled and shook and her mind raced of its on accord to the one symbol of independence she had witnessed and her mind latched onto it fiercely... and momentarily, as the hot sacred flames enveloped her, she was lost in limbo...

Neither a body nor a spirit under the paw of the werewolf...

And when she stormed and raged back into solidity, she let out her own growl and felt her own strength and knew a new hunger...

If she had learnt about pain, she would learn... about revenge and violence.

Xx~xx~xX

The cell door opened, but neither werewolf nor fleeting burnt orange fox paid attention to it. They were dancing, the werewolf incapable of either cornering the small sleek fox or landing any lethal bites. Its feet were covered in nips, its muzzle bloodies and eye slashed...

"Olivia, now!" Edward Cullen hissed, the cell door agape.

She skipped to the left, jumping over rubble and the up turned bed... she moved awkwardly through the space Edward allowed, unused to her new form. She heard him grown as he pushed the cell door shut, against the weight and strength of the enraged werewolf. His left leg abruptly pushed back, digging through hard cement flooring and the werewolf backed up, preparing to thrust once more...

Olivia whined, trying to speak before she pushed against the cell door and her and Edward Cullen managed to seal the beast in. He looked at her, and even in this form of her soul... that was to carry emotions that were to wild and primal-she felt that falling, that losing of ones mind.

He looked away, and she felt her heart shudder.

"We leave, now...Bella is on the boat" he said, already moving through the shadowy light. "Isabella told me everything... and I must say..." he slipped through a dark archway, Olivia clumsily turning through it and chipping decaying brickwork "I must say, Olivia... your immaturity in the matter is disturbing. You are an immortal, you are adaptable... how could be deceived so cheaply and willingly?"

"Ngh rwoar!" Olivia wanted to say 'Fuck You!' but her inability to speak, nor understand how to return to her previous form now stunted her spike in sudden anger. Incomprehensible disbelief flooded out of her blazing blue fox eyes at the fleeting bob of bronze hair ahead of her.

"I hear you loud and clear" Edward snorted "Daughter of _Leah_"

In her adrenaline from her first experience of combat that had not contained anything her mother or father could ever hope to prepare her with... she managed a random thought.

They were right, Olivia murmured in her mind. He is cocky.

He flew off the dock, a spectre in the air momentarily before landing easily on a still boat. One look from him alerted her that he expected the same from her. She shook her head once and he growled at her.

She had never been growled at... save by Jake, but that had been different. A thrill went down her spine and she growled back at him.

"Jump!" he hissed "If you ever wish to see your mother and father again...! Jump! We have no time for you to adjust to your form... we only have time for _surviving!_"

I am no coward, she thought.

"You are not!" he whispered, looking back at the bulky shapes on the boat. "Jump, Azure!"

And so she jumped, burnt orange-bronze, sleek and yet awkward... landing heavily on the timber of the boat, twisting over the deck and sliding into cargo hard and painfully. A flash of pain crawled up her hand-no, her left paw. She looked at it and so blood...

"We have no time for pity and bandages, you wanted an adventure... well, welcome!" he was hard and cruel, dragging her and pushing her into a corner. "Stay!"

She scowled at him.

"Bella can be with the other humans on board..." he looked back, hearing something-a thought or other. "The boat is leaving... you and I will have to wait it out..."

She shivered once, but when he turned and landed his eyes on her pointed face... that calmness that she was sure would be her return to her half vampire form left her. She felt heat once more, and remained solid. His gaze was filled with too many things, his eyes wide and beautiful and heartbreaking...

"How you could bring my one light to this darkness... how you could come here..." he murmured, his eyes holding her. A sharp pang pierced her heart... she had brought his fair princess hadn't she?

Have I doomed us? Olivia wondered.

He looked away from her, as though any moment longer gazing at her would condemn his soul... would burn him up into ashes. "Doomed us... oh, Azure. So thoroughly, with those eyes of yours..."

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I apologise for the delay. Geomatics is a little... err, intense. I am constantly trying to chip in a bit of writing though but I seriously become horribly busy.**


	14. Rolling in the Deep

**ROLLING IN THE DEEP**

Xx~xx~xX

**OLIVIA CAMILLE CULLEN**

Xx~xx~xX

X

The darkness was desisting, the waves moving slow and rhythmic below the ship. We were hidden in a storage bay, in the east of the lower deck-the task of moving a giant fox through a ship was child's play for Edward Cullen-the magnificently moody.

I could see the expanse of dark grey, the light reflecting of the water and a thin strip of radiance piercing the fall of darkness right at the edge of my new fox vision. The window wasn't much, but it was a safe haven in the gloominess of the dusty storage compartment we were in.

That square window had been my haven, away from Edward Cullen's burning _judgmental_ gaze...

"I am not judging you" he said-in a tone that managed to be soft and hard at the same time. He was getting better at reading my thoughts...

Or maybe I was failing at keeping him out, maybe I was too nervous... stupidly and pathetically more nervous than when Aro had touched my hand and my life had depended on my ability to hold those very nerves at bay.

"I theorize it is only easier because you are a wolf..." he said, this time only the softness of his voice remained with an added wistful tone tainting the sound. "I mean... a fox. Yes, of course... a _fox_. But, you may be right too... the probability of it being your _nerves_ is... minimal. There is no need to be nervous Olivia..."

I huffed. The unreserved sound of air pushing out of my nose scaring me slightly... it almost resembled a shallow growl. I still couldn't change back, the body I was in felt foreign and familiar at the same time and this terrified me. My sight was impossibly well adjusted; my sense of smell just as advanced and the booming and screeching of the internal body of the ship gave me a slight headache...

"Why would _you_ come to Volterra?" he asked. I braved a peek in his direction and caught his bronze hair glimmering unnaturally in the shadows before I cowardly looked back to the safety of the rising sun.

He was silent once more, and in that moment... I pretended he wasn't there. I pretended that I was just a girl on a ship, staring out to the sea-nothing more and certainly nothing less. I pretended that I had gone on some school trip or other and not run away from home with a complete stranger and almost been ripped apart by an ancient rabid dog. I had not stupidly allowed Isabella to associate herself with a fatal agenda that her human self would never have come out alive or immortal...

"You _had_ stupidly done so. You _have_ done so _in _fact... you need to take charge of your actions and accept your idiocy..." he began smoothly and anger flashed through me red hot and burning and the beauty of the rising sun was suddenly lost on me-it turned ugly and blistering, sweltering the calm waters into violent boils that erupted and imploded. "You have cost so much, you would have cost so much...Olivia... you would have cost the most precious and dear life to me and everyone..."

He stopped talking momentarily, and I felt him move behind me. I didn't look away from the vision of the sea and warm sun, glaring at it unabashedly while tremors rocked through my body.

"Olivia?" he called and the white hot electricity fleeted through me, raged inside of me and so suddenly the square window wasn't before me and I had somehow managed to stumble onto my hands when I had been standing on all four of my feet. I knew what had happened; I had changed back.

No relief washed through me although I had been pining for the comfort and familiarity of being human (at least in appearance). I was too filled with anger to notice much else than the fact that Edward Cullen was the most grating self centred condemnatory being to ever grace this planet!

I was up in a flash, taking two steps towards him with no understanding of what it was I would do in that moment. I met his eyes and ignored their hypnotic beauty... I saw his face and disapproved of its daring handsomeness... his hair was metallic fire as he moved an inch into the rays of the sun...

"Olivia" his voice was low, deeper and somehow uncontrolled. I ignored this too.

"You don't know me!" I growled, hands fisting into balls at my sides, the tremors still threatening to take me back to the body of the fox "Your most important and precious Isabella... you are so... it doesn't even matter because your _precious_ is fine! Isabella is fine! And I will have you know it was her who insisted on this exploring with Huilen... it was her, your precious Isa-fucking-Bella!"

"Language" he said almost absently while his hands moved fast over his form. "Here" he handed me his shirt and I glowered at it.

"What, now I am such an idiot that you want to give me your precious _Volturi_ clothes?!" I snarled.

"I would rather talk to you, with the ability to look at you" he murmured fast and I realised he wasn't glancing behind me because I really was as terrifying as Leah Clearwater in that moment...

A warm breeze passed over every inch of my skin, and soon after a hot flush crept over me. I grabbed the shirt and put it on in a matter of seconds.

"Your genetics are exceptionally valuable to Aro" he said gruffly, attacking his hair with long white fingers. His eyes found mine, dark and troubled and my own eyes became aware that I had robbed him of his shirt and left half of his body prey to the sunbeams.

"Genetics?" I gulped, looking away from him and busying myself with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Genetics" he frowned "I was semi right. Your thoughts have become distant slightly but you may have to put in an effort if you want to _block_ me"

"Oh Joy" I grumbled, still not over being naked in front of him and trying not to look at his glimmering torso. I had seen shining vampires countless times naturally, but somehow... he seemed 'unnatural' to me. _Dangerous_ even...

"I wonder how Rosalie coped with you" a ghosting smile moved over his lips "She loved you before you were born you know"

"I know" I said "They all did. I guess you were busy with Isabella, eh?"

"I was busy with..." he frowned again "Yes. Isabella"

Silence washed over us. I couldn't stop fidgeting; attacking the sleeve of his shirt, harassing my own hair and drawing circles over the ground with my toe. I had never been so human, standing before this stranger with my nerves working up a storm in me. He stood still and composed-but he was a full vampire. Composure was unavoidable for him, was it not?

"Olivia..." the way he said my name... a thousand secrets were revealed and hidden in his tone and every thought I had ever had resurfaced and sold me out before him. I felt like a child for imagining Isabella's prince-for imaging a fairytale. An idiot child, because as he was here before me... and reality was tangible... the glooming wave of disappointment washed over me; I had wasted 'hope' in hours of pointless romanticizing for something I could never be a part of "I was busy with... stuff" he finished lamely.  
He stopped talking abruptly, shaking his head "How teenage and juvenile does that sound?" he asked, smiling sadly at me "A century old vampire busy with... _stuff?_"  
"Ha... ha... ha" I frowned at him and his moment of awkward humour died. He frowned back at me and we resumed the tensed silence for a few more seconds, stretching into a minute before he sighed wearily, touching his crown of disarrayed bronze.

"Carlisle Cullen is an _incomparable_ man" he said "I cared about him thoroughly"  
"_Cared_?" I asked and he frowned again, this time in surprise, so obviously going through his statement.

"I do" he said more to himself. "I still do _care _for him... it is... irrelevant. You should eat. We can join the humans after dark, once I find you something suitable to wear and you are in better control"  
"I am in control" I lied.

"Sure, of course" he looked at me dead in the eyes, a slight smirk on his lips "It must be something to be born half a volcano and half... Carlisle. I can only imagine how _effortless _control is for you"

Xx~xx~xX

The ship was elegant; sparkling and beautiful, filled with clean spaces and glimmering little features. Edward moved through it like he had _really_ bought a ticket and belonged to the most elite parts of the vessel. I remained a few steps behind him, hands rummaging over each other and eyes fleeting from one human to the next, trying to spot red eyes amongst their bland orbs... trying not to hate and simultaneously find Edward Cullen intriguing.

No one was intriguing.

We were all copies of beings that had existed before us... or maybe _reincarnation_ seemed like a better answer than admitting that he truly was... exceptional. A red spot, amongst a mass of white dots.

Xx~xx~xX

"I see her" he said softly. He never spoke above a set volume... a very _low_ set volume. It may be from living with blood drinking vampires who didn't pretend for humans... or maybe he liked the way his voice sounded to others...

"Good for you" I grumbled.  
"What is the matter now?" he asked, stopping abruptly so I rammed into his back. I stifled a growl while he turned his head slightly so he could peer at me. He was genuinely confused; probably irritated that he could no longer hear the contents of my mind.

"Nothing" it wasn't a lie and of current I couldn't pinpoint the truth. I wanted to be left alone, but at the same time I didn't want to let him out of my sights. I didn't want him to forget I existed as soon as he was with his princess...

"Olivia?" he asked, turning fully so he could look at me. He was frowning, his eyes still darker since the incident of my abrupt phasing back to human form. "I have been... away from human company for a long time so some of these things are arbitrary for me..."  
"I am not human, like Isabella" I said abruptly, shocking myself as the words left my mouth.

"Would you say Carlisle raised you any other way besides being human?" he asked ignoring my sulky statement. I remained quiet and he sighed, looking back over the crowd of dithering humans in the low lit lounge-looking back at Isabella. "Olivia" he said and I tried to remain impassive to the sound of my name from him, to keep my body from responding. I failed dismally and that dangerous anger tickled my spine.

"I have no patience for... _this!_" he waved his hand lethargically over my form, his eyes fighting to stop from rolling and lips turning down sharply. "I don't know whether you are in trauma or... pmsing. I don't speak whatever language that you are spewing for me..."  
"Go fuck your self" the words left my mouth without ever passing through my mind and while his eyes widened and entire being reeled from being handed such 'language' from me... I made a beeline for the bar, where Isabella was silently sitting with a bright cocktail and bad hair.

Xx~xx~xX

"I am tipsy" was the first thing she slurred.

"This is the worst time for that, Bella" Edward appeared at the other side of her, taking the drink from her. "We have to leave the ship"  
"What do you mean 'Leave the ship'" I frowned at him. I could smell the cocktail; sweet and sour, strawberry something... He placed it on the counter and turned his body entirely to Bella; soothing her, telling her how brave she was for _not _being bitten by rabid werewolves and flung across concrete ground, or how magnificent she was for having her magnificent mind spared from little vampire girl's torturing eyes...

I sipped the drink quickly, Edward turning around rapidly but the liquid had already slipped past my lips by the time he had grabbed it from me (and smashed the glass in his hand, spilling red over his ashy skin).

He glared at me, his eyes had darkened considerably. I could almost hear the growl begging to escape his chest...

"Sir, here...?" the bartender reached over, waving a cloth slowly at Edward. He paid the cloth no attention, nor Bella's silent splutters and apologies.

"We leave now" his voice was lower, too low for humans and dangerous enough that I found myself irritated by the evident warning in it.

"I just changed back" I said softly, displaying impressive casualness to his easy threatening form "Do you know how much energy burns up when you..."  
I puckered, lips twisting and pursing. The liquid churned in my stomach momentarily. It had been sweet, rather enjoyable... but its journey through my throat had made me realise how _thirsty _ I had been since my phase back.

How impossibly thirsty...

"Your eyes..." Edward murmured and then he returned his attention back to Bella, repeating an instruction over and over again to her before he grabbed my arm and led me forcefully out of the lounge and through the hall. He was telling me something, cursing... begging... praying... and I was shaking, but I couldn't change back into the fox. I was weak and thirsty... I needed a drink...

"A boat..." he was saying "No, a boat won't do. You will have to swim... No tracker can find Bella, her mind will protect her. You and I leave now...!"  
"I am thirsty"  
"If you could be a wolf in Volterra..." he replied "Then you will be a vampire now, and swim...!"

He flung me over the rail, the wind soft in my hair momentarily and my min adjusting to the understanding that I had just been tossed overboard. I hit the water hard, cutting through it without protest. I gulped down salt water, spluttering and forgetting momentarily that I was meant to swim... before remembering that I didn't actually _know_ how to swim...

His hands found my waist and he pulled me up easily. I realised I was flailing my hands, fighting liquid and lack of oxygen-two things that had no say in the duration of my immortality and yet I was terrified of both. We pushed past the water and into the air, I was spluttering and he was impatiently allowing me the human reaction.

"What are you doing!" he hissed, looking back at the distant ship "A scene? An audience... is that what you want?"  
"I can't swim!" I tried to fight his arm of but he only wound it tighter, using his other hand to force me to look at him. "Let go!"

"All right then..."

I was fine momentarily and then I was sinking... but this time, I remembered to drown with my mouth shut. I could see distant blobs, the lights of sea creatures and shadows of their predators. My lungs filled with water and mind became lethargic, I was in pain... and being lulled into a sleep... a long uncomfortable sleep...

"Argh!" my head was above water once more, Edward's arm around my waist too and his impatient expression had turned into rage.

"You will do as I say!" he growled "You will learn to swim now, you will swim to Forks and you will stop this Leah Clearwater act right now!"  
"Fuck...!" I begun and then he released me before I could add the 'you' and I was drowning again, but this time I not only remembered to refrain from breathing under water but I attempted a few limb jerks that propelled me back up. My head bobbed above water momentarily and I caught Edward's form still and unmoving in the waters, his eyes dark and face white before I fell into the waters again.

I pushed hard, forcing coordination and understanding and after five minutes of no air and strained lungs... I knew how to stay above water. It was no were near as easy and unnaturally still as Edward... but it was something. And I was grinning about the fact... while he had a murderous look on his pale glorious face.

"Are you done?" he asked-sneered.

"Just about" I growled back and he slipped under the water and zoomed below the waves while I learnt the crawl and breaststroke in his multi-mile trail.

Xx~xx~xX

"Your father..."

I zoned out his low enticing voice, glaring at him as his zapped left right and centre in the little space of the clearing, just at the foot of the encroaching forest before the main cliff edge. We were mere minutes from home, seconds from Carlisle... and the She-Wolf. Edward was organising the events, trying to pry some bit of information he thought was crucial-all while praying Bella did as was instructed.

"What's the worst that could happen to her?" I mumbled sulkily, eyeing the left of the forest, already settled that I would _not_ be facing the She-Wolf tonight.

"She could befriend an irresponsible hybrid with an abnormally skewed sense of _reality_...!" he growled, wheeling out of his blurred pacing and rounding on me. I tried to hold his dark eyes, to push his blackness against the dark cobalt of my eyes...

But he was Edward Cullen, the enigmatic... and I was me, and I hated him for waking me to this furious nightmare of emotions I could not comprehend.

"Fuck you" I said softly, rushing to my little exit route and ignoring his calls for me to stop. He chased me into the forest, at first giving me the courtesy of running alongside me and trying to apologize (apologizing wasn't something he was proficient at it seemed) before throwing away all pretence of human civilities and flipping me mid velocity so I propelled into the air before he caught me just as easily in his arms.

I fought him but he was stronger of course... but I had teeth that I knew were much, much sharper.

"Stop!" he growled, tugging me back.

"Fuck you!" I spat, scratching at his face and pulling his wet hair. I wriggled in his arms and he shook me. I thumped at his back and he called me a brat, and he wondered out loud why indeed he had left Volterra...

"For Bella!" I hissed.

"For you!" he snarled but his response was lost in a sudden groan as my knee connected with his groin with the necessary velocity and required anger. As he stumbled, I ran and before he could show me once more what it meant to be the fastest Cullen vampire... I had crossed into Quileute land and I was running towards Jacob Black.

Xx~xx~xX

"Olivia?" his eyes were large and round.

"Last I checked, vampires don't come back as ghosts when they die" I muttered, rubbing my arm and shivering. Somehow, the cold now affected me. Phasing, swimming, being tackled by Edward Cullen... it had left the most hidden part of me bare; the human part.

He stood in the doorway, tall and unkept-eyes dark and shadowed-staring at me in disbelief. He said my name again and I sighed, guilt washing over me. "It's me" I told him gently, taking a step forward. "Wont you let me in Jake?" I whispered, looking up at him.

"Sure" he stepped aside, briefly brushing my hair with his fingers as I passed him and smelling me unabashedly "I nearly died missing you, Ollie"  
"I haven't been gone for too long" I said, making a beeline for his couch.

"Long enough that the cavalry was called and you ruined my sense of smell trying to sniff you out" he tried to chuckle but it came out rasping "And when Huilen was obviously... gone..."  
"Jake, I was stupid. I am back. I am here..." and I am not the same, I wanted to say but I swallowed it back and opted to just touch his arm. He shivered, looking down at my paler hand on his tanned skin before setting his dark eyes on me.

"I almost died from missing you, Ollie" he repeated, his voice gravelled. "I almost went brain dead thinking of you... and how you could do that... but you are here..." he finished in a long sigh. "That's what matters"

"I'm cold Jake... I don't remember being... cold" I whispered, holding myself. His arms immediately went around me and I wrapped in the warmth of my brief childhood. "I don't want to be prosecuted just yet..." my voice was lost in his chest but I knew he heard me. He took in a hard breath before letting it out noisily. I could feel hot tears seeping through my hair and making contact with the skin on my neck.

"And you won't" he told me and I believed him when he said it, and it may have been the familiar love I associated with his husky tone... but all my fears were gone, the panic and the doubts. There had to be an answer to the chaos I had walked into..."But Leah has to know, Ollie..."  
"I am sure he has told them all by now" I said tetchily.

"Who?"  
"Edward Cullen"

That single word erupted from his lips, swathed and besieged by his growls and tremors but there was no hope of hearing wrong...

"Traitor" Jacob growled and I hid in his arms, hiding the fear in my eyes and holding him back furiously.

What treachery had Edward Cullen committed, save for being a bad swimming teacher and pathetic at sensitivity?

Oh, he loved Isabella didn't he now... and I found myself equal with Jacob in my disapproving of this 'Fairytale', regardless of whether I had endorsed it thoroughly in its earlier stages of 'Once upon a Time..'

Happily ever after... was inconceivable to this reality.

Xx~xx~xX

I told him everything, my best friend Jacob... but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to mention Edward too often; even though I felt like Edward was the sole centre of everything. I didn't trust myself with his name; hating him and unable to stop thinking of him simultaneously... and in the strangest way, even though I knew Jacob hated him more...

I wanted to protect Edward from Jake's easy and ready illogical hatred. And into the morning light I slept in Jake's arms, ignoring how much I wanted it to be like when I was a little girl... and hating that I knew from the moment Jacob and I had our first fight that I could never return to that, from the moment I had watched him hurting on that very couch he had changed to me and I to him.

"Welcome" I whispered to my self, below the melody of his snores "To the adulthood, of immortality"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

**X**

It was a scene from a dark movie.

That house, the Forks Manor. The lights were off in his office and a warm glow came from deep inside-the fire place, I was sure. I could remember that fire, the one I had watched with diligence while Leah Clearwater lay in his bed, pregnant and loved. I wanted the jealousy, I wanted the anger... I wanted the fear and loneliness from that night... these were things I understood and knew well enough about myself with little doubt.

But my mind was filled with only Olivia's scowling and narrowed suspicious gaze, my centre filled with an unjustifiable anger that she had run off to Jacob Black for safety and comfort. There was no need for them to know I was here... no need at all... Azure would be safe for now, on Quileute land; Isabella would be on her way to her father. I could return to Volterra and save them once more... and maybe this time I would truly be _punished_.

This offence called for death... and it had always been immortality that I had feared, never death. Death, had always been the one thing I had been denied... but now, it would be given willingly...the perfect gift.

What did I have to lose? I had never had _anything_... never, ever had anyone...

You cannot miss what you have never had.

Their thoughts were wrought, worn and despairing. Jasper had returned from South America searching for his niece, Emmett too. Seth was consoling his sister while Carlisle's mind punished itself with the single emotion that he was to blame...

He thought Death would be a gift too... but that thought would never last. She would come to them when she had calmed down. I could go back to Aro and sweet Jane...

I could go back, I had nothing to lose and I had never had anything... this was a scene from a dark movie, but it was only a scene. It would change, morning light would ensure it.

"Could I die, knowing I would never see her again?" I wondered and brief stillness erupted in the house. Jasper thought he had heard something, Emmett and Rosalie too. Something familiar, but it could have been the wind or their sorrows.

When I had left them, I had been at the peak of selflessness... but that part of me had suddenly been tainted by seeing her. I feared it and was ashamed; it would have been different surely, if I had seen her as the babe I had left her, or at least a toddler... and not that striking woman filled with childish insolence.

There was nothing charming about it, about her... she was... just...

"Azure" I murmured, rubbing my head furiously with my hand, the ribbon gripped and hated. Its innocence had died with the vision of her naked in the sunlight, furious and trembling. I was obviously uncured; no amount of masochism or repentance could save my... long gone soul. Carlisle, he never deserved my evil...

"Edward?" he stood in the doorframe, his eyes dark and large. His shirt was ruffled, flailing in the wind and hair dark gold. He was beautiful to me, as always... but all the worlds' beauties had been punished by her blue eyes from birth, and I feared what her blossomed beauty would do to all yet discovered things.

"Edward!" Carlisle cried, releasing the door and sending it splintering, hanging on a hinge. He attacked me in an embrace, that quickly turned into dry sobs and fast recalls of pain and fears; his voice deep and raw, repeating Azure's true name while I flinched at my own emotions for the girl-his daughter.

"She is safe..." I whispered, touching his back and looking back at Alice. She was impassive outwards, but the relief inside of her shook me. My little pixie... how I had missed her.

"Olivia!?" he pushed me from him, as though he would toss me back into the woods before ramming me back into his chest again and crying afresh, a torrent of arid emotions and pleas and proclamations. Leah was out, and something inside of me clenched when I saw her... it was like looking at a dark ghost of Olivia. I feared her suddenly, I feared that she would see that there was something lodged in me that was unhealthy...

"You saved her!" she said instead of the curses I anticipated. She practically pushed Carlisle off of me, bringing me into the blazing inferno of her arms and crying burning tears through my shirt. She smelt nothing like her daughter, and I was thankful for that.

They were all out, embracing me... touching and understanding me. I told them where it was she had gone, I told them Isabella would be home soon... I told them that Volterra would wage a war with us soon... they would find out, of course.

"Edward, it's okay!" Emmett clapped my back hard "You are home, Ollie is safe...! What more do you need so you can smile?"  
"Nothing" I indulged him in a smile and he eased up, satisfied.

What more did I need?

"Oh, of course! Did I ever get to tell you before you left us?" Leah asked, clinching any doubts I had that I was thoroughly disturbed "You are Olivia Camille Cullen's godfather!"

"How fitting!" Rosalie cried, clapping her hands in glee. "I couldn't even be jealous... not after this!"

I tried to smile... I had always been a proficient actor... but their eyes were glaring flood lights. I was convinced that they all had telepathy...

I looked over to Carlisle and he smiled, and I flinched once more when I could see her in his smile and eyes, something in him was very much her. An aura... an essence. I dared to think of the emotion, the attraction I had felt. It had been fleeting... and just so, it was ignorable.

There was no need for me to dwell on it ever again or allow for it to cause me this discomfort. I was home; my brother and my father, Carlisle. And she would be my sister, my niece-as I had thought of under the moon...

What more did I need, indeed.

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**Can't wait to hear your thoughts, suggestions, likes and dislikes! Trying to increase the pace... see you next time...!**

**Xx**

**TJ**

**Ps, the formula in TCA had been about forbidden love, desire, manipulation... I do plan on keeping that atmosphere so if you may have a little problem... brace yourself and take the necessary preparations or... jump ship. Hehehe.**


	15. Reintroductions to Eternity

**REINTRODUCTIONS TO ETERNITY**

"If you really think we are going to allow you to sneak off again and take this as a one vampire mission..." Emmett growled taking a step forward and spreading his physical threat on me "You thought wrong. And I'll personally end you Edward, if you carry on with these thoughts"

"I agree with Emmett" Leah piped "I'll _end_ you too"

"I have to be realistic about some of these..." I began but Carlisle stopped me, shaking his head.

"No more, Edward" he whispered smiling "This is more than you. This is our whole family... and you are Olivia's godfather... please, I would like for you to take the role seriously"

I wondered what he would do if I said I didn't want the role, really. That I was more or less content to just resume my initial place in our family as the silent brooding one with an insufferable ego. But could I ever return to that?

Not since her birth... not since I had looked into those eyes... that Edward had been burned to ashes by her electric gaze.

"It will mean a lot to me..." Leah said softly, shaking her head a little. How far she had come, she thought, that she would say this "If you willingly accepted the responsibility? I will feel... much better, knowing you would stand by Carlisle?"

"You all know there is nothing more in the world that I would want than the freedom to be by my... father" I stressed "The peace and comfort to know you are all safe! Unfortunately, the two don't seem to be possible simultaneously..."

"Bullshit" Jasper drawled rolling his eyes. "You ain't going anywhere..."

"He isn't" Alice sighed, stretching her legs on the couch "This argument is pointless"

"It's not an argument, Alice" Carlisle chided "It's a discussion and if you have had a vision..."  
"I haven't had a vision about _Edward _in _years..._" Alice said scrunching up her nose "I had one about Bella... well; it was more of a non-vision which insinuates she is going to be in _your future_ Leah..."

"I don't want that bumbling clumsy bitch in my future" Leah snapped and Carlisle cringed back from his wife's anger "Get her out of it now!"

"Well, that's were Edward comes in..." Leah smiled "Bella is your territory brother... so... get her out of Leah's future before she finds herself..."

"With rabies" Rosalie grinned at Leah "Speaking of bites... where is my niece?"  
"Jacob's" Leah said blankly still concerned about Isabella with regards to her temper and intolerance for the human. I winced at 'Jacob's', biting back a thousand suspicions and questions on everyone's indifference to this fact.

It lasted a second before I turned to Leah and asked "Jacob's?"

"They are best friends" she said softly "He gets her. Now... about Isabella..."

"Leah... I will talk to her. You don't have to worry about... giving her a lecture and such"

"Oh, I think I should..." Leah grinned threateningly "I get it. You love her... but she almost had my daughter killed with her selfishness... and now, she has put my daughter and my tribe in the lime light with these Italian asses"

"They think Olivia is a werewolf" I said.

"They think Olivia is special and they want her" Leah murmured her eyes flashing "And I blame Isabella and her love for you that renders her a complete danger to all those around her from her stupidity!"

"I'll talk to her" I said tensely "Promise me you won't get there first"

"I do... owe you" Leah winced before smiling.

"Owe me... for what? Saving you and Carlisle's brat?" I grinned at her "Come now... I was a brat too and you saved me"

"You aren't going anywhere" Rosalie said "Ever... without an escort"

"You have got to be kidding, Rose..." I sighed.

"Bella will be at the hospital" Alice announced "You may as well head of with Carlisle... We better see you in Alaska, Edward. I swear if I see a status update stating you have gone vacationing in Italy... I'll castrate your virgin balls"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

He was so deep in his dream that the option of ever being awoken seemed nonexistent.

"Jake..." Olivia tried once more but he only twitched in response. She wondered what subconscious scenes had locked him away from reality so easily. She was staring at his face, trying to place that image of vulnerability that she had witnessed on him-trying to place it on the slack relaxed features of Jacob Black. His expression in his sleep made it impossible to ever think he was a close to seven foot Quileute with the ability to turn into a giant wolf at will...

"And a temper to boot" Olivia chuckled "You look so young. Innocent even..." she told him but he would never hear him.

She scooted more securely against his chest and picked up his large arm, leading it easily around her form. She sighed and groaned when she could smell his scent acutely; she smelt his wrist and her throat pricked. She immediately released the hand, her eyes wide and in terror. He smelt _really _good to her.

Too good.

She thought about getting up and busying herself with something... there was sure to be some chore or other to be done in Jacob's house. Then she disregarded the thought; she was being silly. She was no vampire... Jacob was no human. She was only in trauma.

After all, she felt safe. She always felt safe with Jacob in a way she never felt with her vampire uncles. She had never really had the cuddling relationship with Seth to test the theory...

It had always seemed like something between her and Jacob since she was a child; something untitled that was _theirs_.

She liked it.

She was warm again, and she childishly wondered whether her and Jacob would share a dream when she had finally drifted into sleep. She retracted her curiosity on that after a moment of allowing her mind to idle on the subject; she knew what her mind was filled with and Jacob Black had zero tolerance when it came to Edward Cullen.

After all, they had spent the majority of the night discussing everything that was wrong with the vampire while she hid the parts about him that she had found... enchanting. Edward Cullen had saved her life. Edward Cullen had saved Isabella's life.

"He also threw me in the ocean when I can't even swim...!" she muttered bitterly drifting into her subconscious "...and smashed my cocktail all over his pale _pretty _hand..."

Xx~xx~xX

**OLIVIA CAMILLE CULLEN**

Xx~xx~xX

"Yeow!" my bottom thumped on the floor painlessly but the shock of the landing seriously hurt my previously slumbering state.

"Ahhh... what the fuck!" Jacob's eyes were as big and round golf balls, the whites clear although his face gave evidence that he had only just woken up too. "You... you... how did you get in my bed?! Why are you in my bed?!" he demanded.

I couldn't understand his words-still reeling from the shock of being dumped on the floor (at least it wasn't the ocean I suppose). I blinked at him in confusion, trying to analyse his tone to understand the words; he sounded upset... maybe even a little terrified. But there was anger in there too and maybe... embarrassment? He seemed all of the above, crouched on his bed and clutching his blankets around him for some sort of protection with his one hand on his neck...

"Oh" I breathed "Did I..." I pointed at his neck and his eyes went even wider "I bit you?"  
"What?" he frowned and my confusion only intensified, mingling with cold fear. "You... licked... argh, never mind"

"Huh?"  
"Huh?" he responded dumbly and we stared at each other for a second. "Why are you in my bed, Olivia?" he rearranged his features, grabbing onto control and determination.

"You let me?" I said slowly rising from the floor and then scowling at him "You know... after I came back to Forks from Volterra... and my ordeal with Edward...?!"

He blinked in confusion momentarily before he smacked his forehead-an illustration of comprehension hitting home-and smiled sheepishly.

"Oh... yeah... that makes sense. Yeah, I remember. How could I even... forget" his voice was still shaky, his eyes never meeting mine and darting all over the place instead and russet skin tinged.

"You threw me on the floor" I stated tetchily.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

"Why?" I demanded.

"I thought you were someone else" he grumbled, slowly releasing the blankets from around him as though he were removing a bulletproof vest "You have very vivid dreams, kid."

I stared at him in response and shrugged. If I didn't do what I thought I had done-which was bite him (for no apparent reason. I had no reason at _all _to bite Jacob Black. He did not smell anything but sweaty and wolfy)-he had no reason to dump me on the floor. I was going for deliberate ignorance and I was going to stick to it.

"Who could it have possibly been?" I asked sarcastically.

"It doesn't matter. It only you... my... err, my..."

"Friend?" I offered.

"Yeah, exactly. My niece" he let out a breath of relief, although he was still visibly nervous "Yes, my niece" he reiterated "I need to take you home, don't I?"  
"Not really" I sighed sitting down slowly before casting him a chary look "Do not dump me on the floor again! You are fully aware of who it is that is on your bed I presume? What with you being fully awake and what not?"

"I said I was sorry!" he frowned rubbing his eyes groggily "What the hell was I to do, waking up with some woman..."

"I am not some woman!" I growled "I am your friend..."  
"Niece!" he growled back "You are a woman and Leah's kid! I can't have you in my bed, making me have a... confusion. Do you know how disturbed I am going to be?"

"I can't even understand stand you" I scoffed "Firstly, you are crazy. And secondly... you allowed me"

"The fact that you don't get it further proves why you are a _kid!_" he gave me his hard hated mocking laugh.

"You allowed me...!" I hissed, rising from his bed "You... did... when I came?"  
"I thought you were dead... then..." he huffed "and you are not so... no more!"  
"Fine!" I yelled.

"Fine!" he yelled back.

We stared at each other angrily again and I knew exactly what irked him the most. So I pushed him hard so he toppled back into the centre of his bed before hightailing it to Cullen Manor.

Only when I arrived did I remember that I disliked my new lost and found brother Edward, had run away from home with a stranger of a vampire to Italy and...

Oh yeah...

Leah and Rosalie.

Xx~xx~xX

His scent is on every little thing. I can almost see him growling at Dad, attacking poor Carlisle for allowing his insolent naive daughter to invade and tarnish his space. There he would be-the magnificent Edward and his uninteresting hair-picking everything of mine up and tilting it this way and that way, with his glorious scowl in place and a superiorly _apathetic _look shining brightly from those eyes of his.

Mother is still caught between the joy of my safe return and her anger at my stupidity and involvement with Isabella Swan. I can hear them rejoicing and Rosalie preparing to run to Alaska alone... and then they begin spitting and raving afresh. It's all so bipolar to me... being hugged and slapped simultaneously...

It's creepy and terrifying.

I don't ever want to be thrown to the wolves like that again. I don't think I'll be setting my presence anywhere near Leah for a good few months. Grounded... the word is so juvenile and the punishment extremely degrading. There were of course, other unjust and harsh penalties but I don't mind them except one that Leah... in her moment of compassion... thought was her way of going easy on me seeing as how they had stripped me of any semblance of independence. She would put me under Jacob Black's care for all excursions to La Push because I would be so happy to have my 'Best Friend' as a baby sitter...

Best Friends... I am sure not even acquaintances dump each other on floors then terminate all acquaintance privileges simply because their friend... niece... is a woman overnight. I tried not to think about the possibility that he may have been right and it was just me fighting change and trying to cling onto the safety I felt in him from when I was a child.

It was too overnight possibly. It seemed like only yesterday that I could curl up in his arms.

"_Inappropriate_..." I sighed "Is that what you were trying to tell me you dumb poodle!?" I muttered to my reflection on the window. It was raining... it was also Forks so no surprise there.

Inappropriate... absurd wolf. I wasn't even _really _his niece.

"Just Leah's kid" I sighed. Just Leah's kid in the end, first and foremost, before we even got to the friendship I had imagined between Jake and I.

It seemed like I had been living in my mind of late; my reality was one big imagination. My only moment of grace from all the chaos and anti-Olivia seemed to be Edward's absence from the house.

"Ah..." I sighed in relief, listening to Carlisle's Mercedes smooth engine approaching the house. He had missed Rosalie's departure but Alice was pretending to not be home in her room. It didn't matter; the one person who was always on my side was here. "Dad"

Xx~xx~xX

"Hi" Bella's voice always managed to be unnecessarily low that if she did not surround herself with supernatural beings, no one would ever hear her. She closed the door to my father's car and slowly looked over to the driver's side.

I already knew when I saw her exit the car who it would be behind the wheel. He stood there staring at me, his expression as unreadable as ever and eyes dark.

"I thought you were my father" I blurted.

"I know" he said, appearing by Isabella's side "You were smiling at me... briefly. The first clue"  
"Right" I was slightly embarrassed by how easily that smile had morphed into a frown of disappointment and dread. Only slightly embarrassed because this was Edward; he had dumped me in the ocean and flipped me mid run into the air. If there was one thing about my mother that I had inherited besides her beauty-my pride.

And he had done a river dance all over it.

"Bella" Leah walked slowly down the porch, her greeting to Bella controlled and cold. She turned her gaze to Edward and said slowly "Yeah, I know what I promised... but if you let me just have three seconds..."

"Leah, thank you for keeping that promise" Edward said quickly, interrupting whatever information my mother may have revealed about her cryptic statement "And thank you for your patience"

"What did you promise?" I asked Leah.

"Oh, so you think you get to ask questions now?" she laughed derisively "All you get to do is eat, breath and sleep till I say otherwise... Olivia Camille. I am heading to La Push... the joy I feel in talking to Sam and Jacob simultaneously. Alpha's, argh. Can I trust you not to run off with irresponsibly-thick-as-bricks grown women...?"

"Leah... Edward warned but she paid him no attention, her eyes on my face.

"...and crazy vampires that you only met for a _second_?" she finished "You will stay in this house until instructed otherwise"

"Yes..." I muttered. Like I said I would, I yelled internally.

She looked at me closely before skipping into the woods and leaving me vulnerable to Edward and Isabella.

"You are whole... good to see" Bella laughed nervously "Edward said you two had to swim the way...?"  
"He made me swim the way" I partially snarled at her "Did Edward mention how he threw me into the deep end of the ocean even though I didn't know as much as a doggy paddle?"

"Edward?" Bella blinked at him. I turned around and entered the room, filled with anger.

"The room is yours...!" Edward said quickly before I could disappear from them. His tone suggested this was meant to be 'nice' and charitable of him.

"How gracious of you" I scoffed, tilting my head at him.

"Olivia... the way we met..." he began, taking a step from Isabella and reaching his hand out to me.

"Hmm, well you know what they say about first impressions" I chuckled morosely "And the one about an elephant's memory... but in this case we can go with vampire memory"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

"She hates us... oh, what she went through!" Bella moaned.

"No. Just me"

I had led her to the piano room, having relinquished all rights to my room completely. As far as privacy could go, Rose had already made her way to Alaska and Alice... well, she would need to finish this off as we had discussed.

The future was subjective and choices and actions could lead it astray.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Olivia being in the house but I knew that breaking Isabella's heart yet again would seal any doubts sin her impressionable mind that I was indeed, cruel. And if she had gone to Jacob for comfort... I had to be the cruellest. The worst... abominable to her. She could hear if she wanted to... the option to ignore us was hers as well.

I wondered if she would take it... I thought she would. She was uninterested in anything to do with me... this would have been easier if her mind was open. All that it let out were wisps of tetchy emotions before going silent all together.

"You shouldn't worry about it, Bella" I smiled at her "It's happened. It's over... all of it"

"Yes, we need to concentrate on the future" Bella smiled, her hand resting on my chest.

"I think you should concentrate on your future" I told her sadly.

"Edward...?" she looked at me suspiciously, retracting her hand.

"Alice wanted to say goodbye" I said, gulping as I ran out of air. I inhaled quickly, my throat scorching horrendously "I had to give her that"

"No!" Bella shook her head "No... you will not do this to us again. Olivia..."

"Olivia was born into my world, Bella" I said sternly "She is not human even if she blushes and has a heartbeat like you. She is not human and she is not your friend"

"We'll see about that!"  
"I warn you Bella... you don't want to cross Leah on this issue" I said.

"Bella" Alice entered the room "We all are truly sorry you were pulled into this again"

"No!" Bella maintained "Edward, you love me...!"  
"Bella..." I regretted her pain deeply but it had to be done. Alice took Bella's hand and led her to the door-ensuring that whatever future Isabella would have set for herself that would involve the Quileute... would be that of her making and not of my cause.

"You love me, don't you?" Bella insisted "Edward... you love me?!"  
"I..." I looked over to Alice but the little vampire was as intrigued by my answer as Isabella was persistent. "Alice... go already!"  
"Edward..." Bella cried but she was gone and her future would snap away from anything to do with a Cullen-although I was certain she would attempt to reconnect as best as she could. I had to clean up my mess...

This was not the most critical pile of disaster I had created but I had to start somewhere before I could tackle the war that brewing from Volterra. I had promised them that we would deal with it together but I still couldn't bear to bring them to destruction over my existence. Such unconscious threats as the ones they had inferred were what rooted me to them; if I left, they would all follow...

"Edward?" she said softly. I could see her in my peripheral, standing awkwardly by the door. It was discerning how human she could be when her pale beauty-even with the rosy lips and cheeks, and blue eyes-was so obviously inhuman to me. She didn't want to be in the same place as me and that was fine; I knew what had truly brought her hear. The beep of her phone.

"Yes" I said.

"My mother seems to think..." Olivia's scowls were always at the ready when she spoke, her eyes insistently rolling upwards. A sign of an unagreeable temper of late. Or was she always this way, I wondered.

I had gathered from the minds of my siblings that she was generally a serious child.

But there was also that one possibility in her intense mood; those eyes were still a navy shade of darkness and I knew she had disregarded the possibility of her being thirsty.

"She thinks we should go to Alaska... together" was I imagining things or did she spit the words at me? I never cared for anyone's propriety with regard and effect to my own peace of mind but this _child..._

Yes, she was a child by God!-this child was simultaneously filling me with everlasting guilt over my initial treatment of her during our escape from Volterra...

And working on my last nerve...

We stared at each other; her freely displaying from her eyes how spending any needless amount of time with me would as torturous as gazing into Jane's eyes...

While I tried to hide how easily she pricked, prodded and stabbed at my own unreasonable tempter with her ready and carefree insolence.

"So?" Olivia demanded.

I took in a breath, I had promised myself I would make it all right for Carlisle after all "I believe we met..."

"Not that again!" she snapped "Honestly... I had a difficult morning. The alpha wolf, she wolf and blonde vampire kind. All I wanted was my father and instead I got you..."

She took a step forward and I tensed incomprehensibly. The phone in her hand was crushed to plastic fragments in her fisted hand and her eyes gleamed with unshed angry tears.

"I understand I am your least favourite vampire this month..." I began and she let out a hard chuckle, rolling those dark beautiful eyes.

"My least favourite vampire of the decade!" she chortled.

"Your least favourite vampire of a lifetime!" I don't know why, but I was grinning although what she had said had hurt in its own piercing way. The motion of the grin on my lips was foreign and painful. Her sardonic air defused and eyes focused in bewilderment on my face.

I wished I could hear the words to her worried gaze. I had startled her out of her disdainful stance somehow.

"Olivia, a decade ago those sentiments of yours towards me would have been received with little care and they would be absolutely true because... I was a _prick_"

She broke our eye contact.

"I was... so many things" I continued "I was Narcissus"

"Narcissist?" she asked and I nodded.

"Would you let me finish what I have been trying to say to you? You love your father so very much and I love him too. It would mean a great deal to Carlisle to see his family whole... and happy. Shall I finish, Olivia?"  
She nodded stiffly, still wary of me.

"We met under unfortunate circumstances" I said softly, sticking my hand out for her to take... if she was willing. "My name is Edward Masen, and although I will be your least favourite vampire for this lifetime... you and I have eternity to work on that, Olivia Camille Cullen"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"So they are finally leaving?" Sam asked again. His arms folded tightly over his chest, dark eyes swimming with long overdue relief "It was about goddamn time!"

"Hey, my daughter is going with them..." Leah growled "You better not be preparing your little Indian victory dance, Sam..."  
"If you had gone on with your vamps..."Paul chuckled "It would have been more like an Indian Disco Victory party instead!"

"You will need wolves" Leah turned her narrowed eyes toward him "They will come here; whether to look for Edward... Olivia or all of the Cullens..."

"You are a Cullen too" Bradley pointed out.

"But the Volturi don't know nor do they care about that!" Leah snapped rolling her eyes. "So you want me gone? Less wolves... but hey, all the Cullens will be gone from these holy fishing grounds!"  
"Sorry, quick question..." Embry interrupted "Why exactly did Olivia go and visit Edward in the evil Italian city?"

"I actually never really got the details of her little Euro trip" Leah said sheepishly "I was too busy chewing her up"

"Go mama Wolf!" Embry cheered. "But isn't she like... stronger than you when she is in her human form..."

"She doesn't have a human form" Jacob said absently before retreating once more from all conversations.

"We will be patrolling Alaska..." Leah began before looking at Jacob irritated and punching his arm hard "Oh, glorious Alpha...?"

"Eh?" Jacob snapped out of his reverie, blinking dumbly.

"Do your bloody job, Jacob!" Leah sighed :Where there hell could your mind be drifting to at a time like this...?"  
"..." he was about to say 'Olivia' but instead opted to shut his mouth.

"Seeing as how Jacob Black, the glorious and currently irrelevant Alpha has gone mute" Leah rolled her eyes "What is going to be happening is Seth and I will regularly move from Alaska to Forks"

"If you are so certain the danger will land here... then why go to Alaska at all?" Bradley asked.

"Because my family is there, dimwit!" Leah snarled before tapping a distracted Jacob's shoulder "Seriously, would you Alpha edict this pup a muzzle? Jacob? Jake...?"  
"You should have told me you were sending her away to Alaska..." Jacob said stiffly.

"Last minute decision..." Leah frowned. "What's up with you... you have been mentally m.i.a this whole day!?"  
"The last thing her and I did was fight" Jacob sighed.

"Jake, Olivia is... going through changes" Leah said slowly "And with everything that has happened she isn't going to be herself naturally. Don't beat yourself up about it...?"

"It wasn't her... Leah" Jacob breathed "It was me. It is me. It's _always _me"


	16. The Poignancy of Adolescence

**THE POIGNANCY OF ADOLESCENCE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

_**It was beautifully unbearable, beguilingly blithe; wonderfully wretched, painfully pleasurable, so perplexingly plain, clearly elaborate…**_

_**It was…**_

**Adolescence**_**.**_

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"You didn't have to pace yourself with me" I grumble.

"I did" he states tilting his head a little. I think he is grinning but I can't be sure; he is in front of me, walking leisurely towards the Denali house. "And I was in no rush for…"

"Olivia!" Tanya is out of the house in a flash, Irina behind her and Rosalie standing by the front patio with a satisfied look on her face.

The two sisters rush toward me, Tanya scooping me up in her arms while Irina immediately begins fussing over my hair. I was way too big for this but they were vampires and size and weight meant little to their strength and of course their easy feminine affection didn't care for the fact that I was, as Jacob had so _eloquently_ pointed out; a woman. I was physically harangued, asked a million questions; a series of low growls erupted at the mention of Jane and Aro, my beauty and eternally unchanging form praised before everyone agreed that there had been no better choice in a godfather than _Edward Cullen_.

"Oh, Edward…!" Tanya released me, Carmen appearing and cupping my face, her golden eyes searching for something-possibly a defect from being tortured by Jane's gaze-before she hugged me too tightly.

I peek from over Carmen's shoulder and watch as Tanya gives Edward a similar embrace to mine except with Edward she touches his face repeatedly although he leans away from her, she locks her hands behind his back when hugging him to keep him in place until he forcefully removes her hands and she kisses his cheek a little close to his mouth until he is frowning in impatience.

"You are always so brave, eh?" Eleazar chuckled. Everyone is outside, smiling and watching Edward and Tanya surreptitiously wrestle-Edward trying to get away from Tanya while Tanya tried to keep him in her grip.

"Olivia" Eleazar put an arm around me "You were brave too"

I smiled at him but the person I was really interested in was standing on the edge of the loose circle of my vampire family, enjoying watching two vampires shoving each other courteously. I ran to Carlisle and his arms immediately opened for me.

"Olivia" he breathed in my hair and I closed my eyes, his arms locking around me. I hadn't realized how exhausted I was until that moment, how incredibly terrified and tensed I had been until I was in my father's arms and I didn't need to be brave anymore. "You're home, honey"

"I am so sorry…!" I was bubbling but I knew the tears would never fall. Not when everyone was here, not when everyone was overjoyed to have me back… and the lost Edward Cullen…

"Oh, don't worry about it honey!" he whispered "Sometimes you have to venture into the world to find yourself. Maybe Italy wasn't the best destination… but look, you found Edward. You brought him back…"

"They always come back after rebelling, eh?" Eleazar chuckled winking at Edward. I closed my eyes, allowing Carlisle to lead me into the house and feeling each rumble his laughter gave through his chest.

"Yes…" I heard Edward's smooth voice murmur. "After everything… home is stillwhere the heart is"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

He couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Stupid Clearwaters!" Jacob grumbled, walking with conscious effort towards the little blue house. He glared at its left side, where he knew the Clearwater siblings bedrooms where located. He was carrying a six pack of beer in one hand and an unopened bottle of whiskey in the other. He had drank maybe thrice as much of this before his slurring mind had convinced him that what he needed to do to stop thinking about 'it' was put some other equally distracting incident in 'its' place.

He thumped hard on the door with his forehead-his hands were otherwise occupied. It didn't hurt although it had been rather aggressive, causing the door frame to shake. He could hear the volume on the television being turned down; he made out the huff of a man and then came the quick easy footfalls that could only belong to a Quileute wolf. He was drunk but his senses were still operating on their normal inhuman frequency. This little factor only further increased his discomfort in his drunken mind; hearing things, smelling things and feeling things in such a preternatural way when you had no concentration to register and analyze it…

"Jake?" Seth blinked before smiling nervously.

"You look surprised" Jacob growled taking a step forward to enter the house. Seth was not nearly as tall as he was, nor as muscular but the Clearwater didn't move an inch besides Jacob's physical insistence.

"I thought you were… Quil. He is in town now, you know?" Seth didn't look him in the eye, opting to look from the whiskey to the beer and then in confusion, up at Jacob's flannel clad chest.

"Don't care" Jacob grumbled, huffing when Seth blocked his entrance once more. "So you are going to avoid me for all of eternity?"

"So you are going to have the guts to talk to me only when you are drunk… for all of eternity?" Seth retorted tetchily.

"Hmm" Jacob murmured, eyeing Seth warily. Seth looked away once more, gulping down his adamant attraction for Jacob. "All your eyes are shaped the same"  
"Huh? All _whose _eyes…?"  
"You _Clearwaters_" Jacob clarified walking away from both the door and Seth when he realized Seth may not let him in out of fear. He sat down on the first step of the porch. Out in the open seemed like the safest place for the youngest Clearwater… especially after what had happened in Jacob's garage the last time he had been drunk. "Except… Olivia's are… blue and… wider. Makes her seem so _innocent…_"  
"She is innocent" Seth joined him on the step, sitting marginally spaced from Jacob.

"Hmm" Jacob murmured again, opening the bottle of whiskey and taking a long swig. He closed his eyes momentarily and recalled her sleeping form groaning slightly in his arms after he had pulled her from him and before he had tossed her away from him out of sheer terror when realizing exactly who it was that he was laying in bed with. "How's the no phasing thing going?"  
"I am guessing Leah told you, huh?" Seth sighed " The weeks were getting longer but of course I had to put it on hold for this"  
"Yeah, you know how your sister likes to blab when she is stressed out" he took another mouthful, feeling the heat of the whiskey move past his chest and his heart cringe back from the alcohol's prickling.

"And you?" Seth asked softly "You still set to only stop when Olivia is truly thirty years?"  
Jacob held the bottle for a moment by his lips, his eyes swiveling to Seth in suspicion.

"Like you said, Leah likes to blab when she is stressed out" Seth smiled sheepishly. "Well, are you? I don't see the point in that personally… Olivia is already…"

"She is a kid!" Jacob snapped shaking slightly

"Oh, come on Jake… she is physically set" Seth laughed "Sure, the years are a little lacking but she has the mind…"  
"She is a goddamned kid and whether she is a little _know-it-all_ or locked up in a woman's body she is a child at the end of it all!" Jacob roared rising and rounding on Seth, his shadow weighing over the perplexed Clearwater.

"Jake, all I am saying is that those natural laws don't apply to her. Soon, she will be able to fully take care of herself and go out in the world alone…" Seth chuckled lightly "No baby sitters"

"I used to rock her to sleep…" Jacob breathed hard, scowling away from Seth "I would listen to her little stories and read her The Jungle Book. I used to be able to hold her with…"

With no fear, he wanted to say but he groaned instead.

He couldn't stop thinking about it, how his hands had run up the sides of her body.

"It's… disturbed" Jacob's scowl turned tortured his eyes wide and filled with agonizing confusion.

"She is half vampire, Jake. What did you expect?" Seth laughed nervously "All we can be grateful for is that she doesn't drink _blood_"

He couldn't stop thinking about it; how his hands had run up and down the sides of her body (he tried to console himself that it had only been for a few seconds before he realized something wasn't right-before he realized this wasn't some anonymous girl from a bar…), how he had felt her curves…

His hand touched his neck briefly before jerking away from it instantaneously, as though he had been electrocuted.

"I mean, soon she will be dating or something" Seth chuckled "Then you can take out your frustrations over her rapid growth on the poor unlucky human? Eh?"

"Yeah… God, I pray he is human" Jacob muttered absently, Seth confusing Jacob's vacant expression as a sign that Jacob was calming down. "'Cause I don't think I could handle it being a vampire…"

He couldn't stop thinking about it; his hands on her body and how they had moved over her curves and read her like brail and when her nose had nudged his neck and when her tongue had touched his skin… when her hot _blazing_ tongue had licked up just that once, below his jaw… as though she was branding him to the world…

He never felt heat from other beings. He was as hot as it gets to any living creature and that feeling had jolted him from his lulling reality and now he was in a constant state of disorientation.

He couldn't stop thinking about it and his neck refused to forget how good that had felt and how badly he had wanted it to be some random girl from a random bar. He kept trying to convince himself he had thought that that was exactly what it was; some random girl from a bar.

But a little voice kept hissing sadistically behind his mind; how could he have forgotten who was lying in his arms? And Jacob would argue with it as best as he could; after all, he only recognized Olivia as the little girl who would fit completely in his cradled arms. Not that… not _her…_this other 'Ollie' with the goddamned curves and dark hypnotic eyes…

"Dating?" Jacob murmured drinking his whiskey again, Seth watching in shock as the liquid settled back into the bottle after Jacob had taken his fill; it was half way empty. "Then she can get cuddled by some strange boy… with _stranger_ intentions?"  
"We were all strange once" Seth said innocently "Some of us still are…"  
His neck wouldn't let up; continuously throbbing… begging for more. Like she had wound his neck up and left it worked up with no conclusion and his heart and mind were now trying to commit suicide over the fact…

"The last thing her and I did was fight… before Leah shipped her off to Alaska" his voice was huskier, his throat hurt. He felt like crying, he felt like yelling… but to whom and for what purpose? He felt so incredibly… teenage, young and confused. He shook his head and took another swig, frowning slightly when the whiskey burnt his throat further.

"Oh, come on… the way you two are close?" Seth smiled.

"Used to be…" Jacob barely opened his mouth as he spoke, his lips twisted and eyes dark and unfocused. "I just wish I could… apologize. Or I don't know… be the adult… a better adult about this. About her. Leah could have at least told me before she just…. Did that. Your sister can be such a bitch when she is all in 'mother mode' and save the world and shit…"

"Yeah, she chewed Olivia pretty hard… but Blondie gave the kid the biggest bite" Seth chuckled "But I think when you are calm you will agree that Alaska is the best place… the vamps will get here and see that the Cullens aren't around and before they can track Ollie… we would have given Carlisle the heads up. Ollie is safe there… with the Denali Clan _and _her family. Not to mention her godfather having knowledge on the Volturi…"

"Godfather?" Jacob blinked.

"Yeah… Edward?"

"That… _traitor_?"

"Oh, Jake come on… he saved her…"

Jacob's hand clenched and the bottle of whiskey was immediately smashed, the alcohol spraying over the side of Seth's face and before Seth could protest in his anger… he saw Jacob shimmering and bubbling. Seth backed away in fear; just in time to see Jacob Black lose control and turn into a giant russet wolf.

"Jake?" Seth was already by the door.

The wolf looked at him briefly, growling low before shaking its large head and running into the thick woods.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Don't you just hate family functions" Jasper sighed leaning against the pillar. I had somehow managed to sneak out of the limelight for a bit and Edward was being hammered with question after question on the details of his stay in Volterra and the Volturi. He had given non-answers; so obviously uncomfortable discussing it but of course they wouldn't be able to tell…

His face, as gorgeous as it was, could be as hard and unreadable as a stone. Yes, he was a vampire… but not a twitch of an eyebrow… not a downward pull of the lips? He was well established at hiding his feelings from the eyes of others but Jasper could tell… and something inside of me warmed at the realization that I was starting to learn to tell too.

"He likes attention… that's what Rosalie said once?" I asked Jasper and he shrugged.

"Not the kind that could embarrass or bruise his own perception of himself" Jasper breathed "You want to go outside for a bit? Vampire hearing and the such…?"  
I grinned at him and followed him out, casting the flurry of vampires moving around Edward-and Edward-one last look. I met his dark eyes-frozen in their beauty but something in them seemed startled as they watched me walk out.

"Enjoy" I mouthed to him but Tanya moved in front and blocked him from my view.

X

"So… I understand you got tossed around by Jane's eyes and chewed by an actual werewolf?"

"He told everyone?!" I gasped "I thought he would leave out the gory bits!"

"He didn't tell everyone" Jasper said seriously "Just me… I have experience with this sort of thing and wouldn't react as intensely as the others would about the werewolf"

"Yes, of course… the newborns" I whispered looking back at the house. "He isn't… so bad"  
"What made you think he would be bad?" Jasper asked and then he chuckled his deep slow laugh, peering at me from behind his swaying blonde hair "Jacob?" he raised an eyebrow.

My heart clenched a little at the mention of Jacob's name.

"Yes?" Jasper eyed me curiously. "What's with the nerves little lady…?"

"Just… Jake doesn't like Edward" I muttered uneasily, my arms going around my body. I looked away from Jasper, hating his gift suddenly. "I mean… he _really_ doesn't like him"

"The feeling is mutual between them so don't you worry about it" Jasper laughed, unperturbed by this development; of course, he had known this for years and there was the fact that he had no actual relationship with the other wolves outside of his occasional chess game with Seth.

I hadn't known this for years and in my mind, I had two families. The vampires and the wolves and my families always seemed to get on when the need for them to be in the same space arose… but with Jacob, I feared… chaos. I feared that the little link joining the wolves and the vampires would so suddenly snap because of his deep dislike for Edward.

And I had stupidly allowed my bruised pride to lead me into pretending I really hated the bronzed haired vampire with his misunderstood ego. I couldn't say I particularly liked Edward… he was still… _something _but when I put that feeling next to how Jake had gone on and on in the night about Edward…

I was definitely not ready to crucify Edward like Jake was.

"Jacob fell for Isabella… when Edward had Isabella" Jasper sighed after watching me, and probably reading that the matter was stressing me more than I let on. He moved to the edge of the driveway and at on a boulder before motioning for me to follow him; the further we were from the house the more he could tell me, I guessed.

"What do you mean 'had Isabella'?" I climbed up the boulder and sat next to him, bringing my knees up to my chest. I already missed Jake; I already regretted my forced ignorance over what had transpired that morning when we had been asleep…

Maybe I should have just done all the house chores when I had felt that… prickling in my throat. I just never thought it would filter through when I was asleep… and maybe that had been my faux pas; underestimating the way Jacob smelt so… so…

"Hmm" Jasper closed his eyes and I started, looking at him in fear. I waited for him to say something about the sensation I had felt-that hated _thirst. _He remained quiet and I pushed all notion of vampire thirst to the back of my mind, hoping it would fall out of my mind completely soon.

"Err, what do you mean 'had Isabella'" I repeated after a second and Jasper chuckled.

"I wouldn't say Edward was in love with the girl" Jasper droned "but then again I don't know him as well as the others do and I was relying on my gift with the matter"  
"Understandably, you met him so you wouldn't know him as well… you weren't 'born' into being his brother" I said and he grinned at my knowledge of the laws of vampire families-as rare as vampire families were.

"Yes" Jasper sighed "But in the years that we have been brothers I can tell you that Edward's sense of himself is very over developed!"

Jasper paused and laughed at his own little joke before continuing seriously "He had been dreadfully lonely, at times so agonizingly depressed… and he never liked it if I tinkered with his emotions so I would have to bear watching his forced smiles despite knowing what was lurking and brewing inside. He is… _picky_… so when he decided to love Isabella… because at the end of it that was what happened, I knew that she was a pet of sorts. A distraction from his loneliness or whatever it was that he would brood over for hours on end on that damn piano of his! It wasn't the love you know of; that you see between your father and mother or the rest of us… it was a sort of affection induced from guilt"

"You know… Isabella is Edward's singer?" Jasper looked at me closely. I grumbled something before waving my hand for him to continue… there were so many things I didn't know and it bothered me. I couldn't say they kept them from me; the subject just never arose and for so long, Edward had been a non-topic in my family. Did I know that he was central to almost everyone's own 'eternity' story…?

Was he central to everyone's story, I began to wonder but Jasper's voice pulled me from that path.

"Singers…" Jasper sighed, shaking his head sadly "Goddamned singers. I never had one; humans all smell good to me! But Emmett had one… and Edward. It is rare for a vampire to walk away from a singer, as you already know…"  
"But he didn't" I whispered, suddenly deeply in awe of Edward Cullen "He…"  
"He didn't fall in love with her" Jasper said quickly, imploring me to understand this fact "You need to comprehend the situation and Edward before you make any hasty conclusions"  
"But what could have made him so strong as to stand being so near her if she smelt…" I paused, thinking of Jacob Black and his strong beating heart; how his heart had felt thundering through his chest, against mine.

"If she smelt so good and he wasn't in love with her?" Jasper finished, yet again eyeing me suspiciously. I avoided his golden gaze "You are young and still cling on to fairytales. It's cute"

I growled at him and he laughed before growling back at me, low and resonating. It would have sent a chill down my spine had I not been facing him and looking into his humor filled eyes.

"That's a growl, sweetheart" he said in his thick Texas accent and winked at me "The love that humans feel is never as strong as the love _supernatural beings _feel. You have seen Emily and Sam… that has to be as strong as it gets. Unfortunately, vampires are obsessive creatures and very difficult to impress so the rarity of a vampire falling in love with a human is… well… exponential. If it were so easy, why… there would be more vampires in the world!"

"You aren't explaining why you truly believe Edward only _loved _Isabella on the surface and wasn't _in love _with her!"

"Oh, yes…" Jasper smiled apologetically "You see… Edward's pride and ego was bruised. The first time he saw Isabella… Alice had a vision of him killing every child in that classroom that he had been in with the Swan girl. He bested the thirst incredibly and that should have been enough for him but he had to push it further… he had bested the thirst and now, he had to best the human. I suppose in his mind, that was the best way to control the matter; get over the singer"  
"And what better way than forcing the monster to get used to the smell of her?" I whispered.

"Precisely" Jasper agreed "And while he was at it… he had a distraction from… I guess his eternity? From the despair of living in a home where everyone was paired off? Especially when Carlisle began dancing with she-wolves…"  
"Hey, that's my mum!"

"Edward was left to his own thoughts… and that of others. Dangerous place to be, he has told me once…" Jasper ignored me "At least, that's my theory but note; we vampires are unchanging creatures and when something does change in us… it is permanent. If he was in love with Isabella…"

"It wouldn't have been so easy to walk away" I said. "And Jake?"  
"I was getting there Olivia!" Jasper laughed, tapping the side of his head "Vampires don't forget, remember?"  
"Of course I remember!" I laughed "I am half vampire!"

"Jacob was truly in love with Isabella" Jasper said seriously "I guess he believes Edward glamoured` her affections from him for the fun of it. There are other things… but those only Edward can tell you. Or Jacob"

"I think I know enough…" I said "I think there was mention of Jake and Isabella… I just never really wrapped my head around the idea of him being truly in love with her"

"He is part human on occasion" Jasper laughed "Love is fickle for them"

"That makes me part human too?" I said.

"Not as much as him, I would think" Jasper said seriously "And thankfully"

I remained silent; Jasper had the narrowest views when it came to humans.

"I am human enough to have fickle emotions though" I whispered. "And vampire enough that they can be too winded and convoluted"

"And wolf enough that you can be rash about those emotions too and act out in the most drastic of actions" Jasper chuckled before adding seriously "That's why we sometimes control emotions"

"Like Edward?"  
"Imagine being able to hear thoughts and knowing how every being feels about you and the general world you live in? Their opinion on your lifestyle… your choices?" Jasper said "It would be torture wouldn't it? You would need to know not to act out on the thoughts of others"

"Controlling my emotions" I said slowly.

"Dangerous game…" Jasper said "I am sure Carlisle could tell us of a time when Edward exploded from keeping it all buried… if he was willing but knowing Carlisle and Edward; he would keep that private and confidential for his first son and friend"

"Maybe that's what really made him go to Volterra?" I asked Jasper and he only smiled back.

"Maybe… but once again Olivia; only Edward can tell you that"

Xx~xx~xX

"You kept everything the same!" I laughed, hugging Alice briefly. Our home in Alaska almost seemed like we had never left it; the interior and the rooms where all the same… except of course my garden out back had died and withered and the general back area needed fixing up.

I didn't mind; Alice and gardening had never gone together and it gave me something to do while I learnt to manage my emotions…

"Olivia…" Carlisle came into the lounge, Edward tailing him as he normally did. It almost seemed like my father was paroling him, maybe afraid that if Edward was not in his sights then he would be back in Volterra. Or was it that Edward was somewhat frightened and confused of where his place in our family was? I looked at him closely, trying to decipher something from his hard face but nothing was revealed this time around.

I was left to my theories…

"Honey, could I talk to you in my office" Carlisle said, snapping me out of my impolite staring of Edward; that Edward was deliberately ignoring in favor of looking at his shoes.

"Huh?"  
"Office" Carlisle stated smiling and my insides clenched. I knew this role well; he was in Dad mode, and his office was not nearly sound proof enough to have a private conversation which made me believe that the whole family had already discussed whatever it was he was about to unleash on me.

We walked up the stairs human slow and I paused briefly, unable to resist and turned around and said to Edward "Are you sure going to be okay there… without Carlisle? No panic attacks…?"  
"I'll try not to float up into oblivion these few seconds you have freed me from him" Edward droned in his bored tone, his face still impassive.

"I am not…!" Carlisle began and I laughed.

"You are not smothering him?" I asked, walking into his office. All the books were back, but this time neatly organized and the shelves labeled-courtesy of Alice and her neat freak ways. I knew that in a day or two, Carlisle would have re-organized it just the way he liked it; books scattered and labels removed. He was a vampire… he knew were everything was; the formalities of labels and neatness was lost on him.

"No… I am not smothering" Carlisle repeated firmly "We are…." He paused, his eyes widening in sudden apprehension and I pursed my lips; he was either about to lie or avoid the matter all together. My father was not the best or most proficient liars despite being a vampire. If human talents were intensified in vampirism… then human weaknesses seemed to have been intensified for Carlisle, my mother always said.

"It's like I have my best friend back" he said instead "Like you and Jacob"

"Definitely not like me and Jacob" I grumbled, trying to erase the sudden memory of a wayward dream of being in his arms that I had had that silly morning we had fought. Why we always needed to fight after he had woken up was besides me…

It was the worst time to pick a fight with a wolf; wolves were not morning people and they _loved_ their sleep.

"I suppose" Carlisle smiled, sitting on the edge of the table. "Edward tells me that when you were on the ship… there was an incident?"  
"I am sorry about the alcohol" I said immediately, deciding that Edward was a blabbing prick. I wished he could hear my thoughts clearly then…

You, Edward Cullen, are a prick.

He wouldn't care… I thought, unless it was Carlisle telling him.

"Alcohol?" Carlisle blinked and I blushed intensely while Emmett unexpectedly began laughing energetically down stairs. "You had…?"  
"No, not really!" I said quickly "It sort of… fell into my mouth"  
"Fell into your mouth?" Carlisle's eyes narrowed "What I was told was that you couldn't drink your _cranberry juice_…"  
Shit, he hadn't blabbed. I had.

"…because of the thirst" Carlisle finished.

I retracted that statement; I had blabbed but he had blabbed more intensely. There was no need to tell Carlisle that! I wasn't about to kill any humans. It was under control after that incident on the ship; I mean, only when I thought of Jacob did it resurface…

"And Jasper confirmed it" Carlisle was all business, watching me closely "Edward and I theorized…"

Edward was theorizing about me while I theorized about him… but with my father. I was frowning, feelings and emotions welling and tiding inside me; I felt angry, embarrassed, elated… but mostly _embarrassed_ by Edward. Yet again, his ability to trample and tap dance over my pride so effortlessly was _mind-boggling_…

"Hmm, theories huh" I grumbled, scowling.

"Yes, we theorized you will be unable to phase when you are thirsty" Carlisle said mostly o himself, the way he spoke when intrigued by something "I would love for you to be able to phase… Leah…"

"Argh, I haven't even tried to do it!" I hissed "It's hard!"

"Precisely!" Carlisle smiled "You have seen the way the wolves eat; it's because phasing burns up energy! You need the energy, Olivia!"  
"I don't want to phase" I lied, still very much upset with Leah over pointing out how idiotic and naïve I had been to run off with a vampire and dithering Isabella.

"You are being stubborn" Carlisle gave me his guilt inducing stare "You would be much stronger and thus, more capable of defending yourself if you can phase, Ollie! And even when you are in your normal form… if you are starving yourself…"  
"I am not starving!" I cried "You are making it seem…"  
"Making it seem like what, honey?" Carlisle asked softly "When last have you eaten? Your mother isn't here to deplete the food for you… I can _tell_"

Somehow, this was all Edward's fault. It felt like he had put the thirst in me and forced the fox inside of me to grumble and complain in hunger.

"I thought we could discuss this… maturely?" Carlisle smiled weakly, never comfortable with my anger and temper the way Leah was (only because I wasn't dumb enough to throw my tantrums at my mother).

"…mature discussions with a hormonal teenager…these new age parents!" Alice's voice grumbled upwards easily and Emmett resumed his laughter, Rosalie scolding him. I tried not to sulk but failed dismally and all I could manage was a sad and weak "I am not hormonal"

"You need to train" Carlisle said, ignoring Alice's comment.

"I think I did enough training in my youth" I mumbled.

"Then you will train some more" Carlisle said "Jasper and Edward will help you"  
"I think I'll rather deal with Jasper…" I muttered but he ignored me.

"…and you will hunt. Edward will assist you…"

"Nope"  
"Okay, let me make this easier for you to understand" Carlisle closed his eyes "You will train. You will learn to hunt. And you will receive these lessons from the most experienced of us. This is not a discussion…"  
"This is the law" I was being difficult and Carlisle was trying to form a temper.

"Would you rather wait for Leah to get here and then we can have a repeat of this?" he went bellow the bell and I groaned.

"Fine. If you insist" I was already walking out of his office and he was sighing wearily as though he had come from a battle.

The idea of running off again never seemed more appealing than now.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**If you have any questions, theories and such… leave a review… I will be doing responses in the next chapter, at the end in an authors note.**

**Xx**

**Tj **


	17. The Theory of Hunting

"You know what cakes remind me of? Isabella's _eventful _birthday…" Rosalie began and Edward growled at her. She gave him an innocent look and sighed out a lengthy "I hadn't _realized_ it was a non starter even when in Alaska, were we are so very far from anything brunette, bland and _retarded_"  
"Really, Rose?" Edward hissed. "Why you think the reminder of _Isabella_ is required every few hours is beside me"

It was interesting watching them fall into their old patterns, the ones they had lost when Edward had left them and maybe, when my mother had entered the picture. I knew if I remained silent long enough, a little tidbit on the past would be revealed by someone-never Edward, who tried to halt all talks on the past-and a more solid picture would form.

All I had gathered so far was that there was a 'Loving Hostility' between the two most gorgeous Cullens, Edward and Alice liked to have private discussions that Alice wouldn't even tell Jasper and Emmett was, as normal, his usual jesting self. It seemed established and as far as I could get to everyone's role in our family but I knew-as I had learnt with all vampires-that there was more, a more intricate attachment with each bond.

"Olivia… try the cake?" Rosalie offered after she was done trashing Edward's choice in women. I knew what this was; a feeding scheme for the starving hybrid. The cake was nice and fluffy, chocolate with white icing… it looked delectable. "I spent the whole night making it, you know"

"You are a resilient never sleeping vampire, you cant guilt me with that" I sighed, picking the fork up slowly and prodding the cake.

"As long as you don't want to go out into the woods and get something furry…"Rose smiled and I frowned at her "You might as well get yourself accustomed to human food once more…"

I broke of a corner of the cake and raised the sparsely loaded fork to my lips, inching it over and letting the morsel enter my mouth. The sweetness was too sharp, the texture rough on my tongue but it didn't taste bad… it was food. Gosh, I knew about food… that was what I had been living on for all my life for crying out loud! I wasn't adverse to eating food… I was just… not particularly hungry and at times excruciatingly thirsty.

I ate the whole cake slice with forced impassiveness to its unwanted sweetness… they watched in awe, hovering over the counter while Edward and Jasper remained standing motionless and silent at the edge, by the door. I looked up and grinned at Edward.

"Dear, chocolate cake all over your teeth…" Rosalie sighed, reaching over for a kitchen towel "Let me get that for you…"

She tried to wipe my mouth but in my mortification, that happened to be at the same time as Edward finding a rare thing to half-smile about, I grabbed the towel and busied myself with unnecessary concentration on cleaning up my face.

"Thanks" I grumbled "But I am not a kid… if you haven't noticed"

"Oh, you think because you have a size thirty four D cup you aren't a child…?" Rosalie laughed, stirring something in a bowl. I immediately shrunk further in my over sized sweater and paled before the heat resurfaced tenth fold in my cheeks. I should insist with a little more conviction that Rosalie linger while I was changing. This was worse than the 'period' talk (that now seemed _ages_ ago). I wouldn't dare look at Edward, suddenly overcome with a neurotic need to go for surgical breast reduction.

"Hmm, we need to go for shopping, actually" Alice entered the kitchen holding a number of magazines and grinning "Haven't had one of those in _ages!"_

"What's a little shopping in the midst of a potential Volturi attack, eh dear Alice…?" Edward grumbled

"What's wrong with looking fashionable while kicking a little evil twelve year old's ass?" Alice asked innocently "Besides, Olivia dresses like she isn't interested in _men_; I am honestly starting to worry I may have a nephew instead of a niece under that sweater…"

"Hey!" I squeaked and Emmett laughed, slapping his large hand on the kitchen island and sending my slide plate wobbling to the edge. I pushed it forward quietly, hating Alice and Rose for being both excessively vigilant with my physical and more so my aesthetics, and strangely negligent with my own feelings and temperament with the world.

"It smells a bit… wet-doggy…" Rosalie sniffed me "Is it Jacob's?"

"Trust that wolf to turn my niece gay simply so she wont procreate with a vampire" Alice grumbled "I don't mind, really Olivia…" by this point all the blood in my body had frozen and my eyes were threatening to fall out of their sockets "I was changed in a more liberal time, and as you well know I have no human memories to speak of but I do miss shopping for children. Jacob and Seth had you when you were at your cutest…"  
"I am not gay nor am I concerned with other… vampire males or… anything" I said slowly through clenched teeth, gripping the table and squeezing the tiles, feeling them crack under my grip.

"That's what Edward kept telling us too" Rosalie said dryly "He wasn't concerned with a vampire female and went through the trouble of getting a… _Bella…_ to make us believe the initial but lo and behold…"

"Still a virgin!" Emmett slapped the table again and the plate did another jump. "Are _you _going to go get a Bella to make us believe too, Livy?"

"If you would excuse me… I have to go find somewhere to hide. I think I hear Tanya's thoughts" Edward muttered "I know how she loves this topic of my virginity…"

"The _century_ old virgin… only because he refuses to come out of the closet" Rosalie shook her head "or is it come out of the coffin, Edward?"

"Wouldn't know, dear sister…" Edward waved his hand at her and made to leave.

"Can I come with you?" I asked abruptly and he froze, a comical look of confusion on his face. "I don't think I can… err, all the…"

Bonding… Tanya and Irina were particularly good at the female bonding and sibling teasing thing. I was really an only child at the end of it all, and looking the same age as my immortal brother's and sisters, or however they wanted to be related to me-looking the same age didn't necessarily mean I wanted to suddenly 'hang out' and have the living daylights teased out of me.

"Only if she agrees to an introduction to hunting" Rosalie said and Edward nodded.

"You look like you haven't hunted since you got here" Jasper said to Edward.

"I have had a lot on my mind" Edward replied tetchily.

"Or are you worried about your eye color?" Rosalie called out unabashedly. This was a topic that I knew had been whispered and discussed at length behind Edward's back (although the idea of gossiping about a telepath was idiotic to me…). What would Edward Cullen's eye color be, once he fed and the dark ominous black of his thirst had desisted?

"Maybe he isn't the best teacher for Olivia" Rosalie raised her chin, eyes narrowed.

"Carlisle insisted" Edward said stiffly "As her Godfather…" I cringed internally at that; looking at the seventeen year old boy with mussed hair, the thought of him being anyone's Godfather seemed entirely absurd.

"Edward is in control" Alice sighed, patting Rosalie's hand. Edward groaned suddenly.

"What?" I asked.

"Tanya" he said. "If you are coming with me… you better learn to move like a vampire now!"

He vanished, the sound of air being disrupted serenading his departure.

"You'll lose his scent kid if you wait any longer to process the fact that he has just left!" Emmett chuckled "You better get moving…"  
"Oh, right…" I breathed and I ran out into the snowy outside. Not a footprint, not a disruption of the back fence. I inhaled and his scent was there, spreading abundantly with the wind. Lavender tones with freesia… and other fragrances I couldn't give names too. He was as disconcerting and entrancing to the nose as he was to the eye and mind. Vampires smelt like perfume but I never truly understood what it was about their scent that hypnotized humans… until now. I was glad I was no human because the thought that he could compel me with something as simple as his perfume…

I shook my head and thought of something else. His eyes were not hypnotic, his face not gorgeous, his hair not beautiful… he was just an ordinary vampire and I was not a human. I was part vampire and immune to all these things.

It was just a smell…

A biological thing; all vampires smelt like perfume, wolves had that woodsy spice to them. Jacob and his chai spice, that cinnamon syrup and caramel thickness he was wrapped in… so chocolaty, piquant decadence... and the way his scent was sent out wave after wave by the beating of his heart, the pulsing of his blood…

I stopped myself too late; was he as sinfully sweet as Rosalie's cakes?

My throat pricked and mouth watered; I lied to myself as best and vehemently as I could-it had everything to do with the chocolate cake. I sniffed and found Edward's fragrance's trail in the air. I crouched and hopped over the fence, landing clumsily before looking back at the house-yes, they were all watching me and Tanya had arrived too-before zapping into the forest as fast as I could.

Bushes were knocked over, trees had their bark gouged out… branches snapped… it was nothing elegant; I wasn't good at the vampire 'graceful' part of super running but I was sure I would find him soon enough.

Xx~xx~xX

"Argh….!" His scent had disappeared suddenly and I was left spinning in the snow for a good half an hour, my hair filled with leaves at this point and thirst griping over my inability to forget about how Jacob Black had smelt.

I didn't know what I was going to do about that; he already thought I was strange… I had licked him. Who does that? Who licks their friend in sleep…?

Niece… the word snuck into my mind and my stomach twisted with shame. Whose grown up niece licks them in their sleep…? I remembered his words clearly on how 'messed up' he was going to be. What did that mean? I should know… I should know what everything means by now, I was fully grown for crying out loud…!

"This sucks!" I kicked at the ground and a huge mound of snow and earth went flying up.

"No need to take your _dismal _tracking skills out on the nature" Edward drawled. My head snapped up automatically, my body tensing and crouching instinctually, hands clawed at my sides; there he was, perched leisurely on a branch, twirling a bright blue flower in his fingers.

"How long had you been watching me?" I demanded, easing up.

"Since you were by this bush, a couple of minutes from here" he raised the blue flower I recognized as coming from said bush "Not once did you consider that a vampire could move through trees?"

"I hadn't realized that certain vampires were prone to turning into monkeys" I grumbled and he frowned before jumping swiftly from the impossible height of the tree.

"Your nose isn't your only tool when hunting…" he said tonelessly, flicking my nose painfully with his middle finger "Eyes and ears, Olivia"

I growled at him and his lips twitched-his rendition of smiling. Edward never smiled fully, so eager to keep his solemn mask and trauma of Volterra… maybe I was being cruel and selfish; trying to have my happiness in the midst of my internal warfare, even at the cost of him but Edward of all people should know and recognize the relief that comes with being free from that place…

To be away from Jane and her large round crimson eyes.

"My hearing isn't as good as yours, nor my sight…" I said. "Do we have to go head on into hunting today? I mean, I thought you were anti-hunting and pro-starving… or is it only in practice but not verbally when you are tittle tattling on me…?"

"Yes, maybe and undecided" he said and I blinked at him in confusion "To your questions" he clarified.

"You are strange" I scowled at him.

"Tell me something I don't already know" his face had returned to its impassive expression although he was always so full of cynicism "No, really… tell me something I don't know?"

"Did you know that…" I thought for a moment, following him through the forest " I have two friends here in Alaska"  
"Bart… one of them, I guess" he announced "Carlisle told me"  
"No, you asked Carlisle" I grinned "I was listening"  
"So your hearing isn't as bad as you make it out, then?"  
"Not when I am eavesdropping… I don't know about this hunting thing though. I may just go deaf" I frowned "I don't want to hunt. You really can't make me…"

"Would you say you care about Bart, to some extent?" Edward asked casually, skipping over a slow moving brook with such effortlessness and finesse that I was left painfully jealous and ashamed of my stumbling preternatural limb jerks… that I dared to call movement.

"Define 'care'" I asked, concentrating hard on bending my knees just right and jumping into the air-unfortunately, I was off target by a few feet and landed a considerable distance into the thicker trees at the other side of the brook, barely missing one. He met me in the forest, a ghost of humor on his face but said nothing on my weird little jump.

"Care…" he said "You care for him enough that you wouldn't want to see him run over by a car?"

"Well, yes" I said.

"But would it be okay if a vampire lost control and drained him of blood?"

I paled.

"That's were thirst will get a vampire" Edward said, his own dark eyes flashing "It will get you to murder a life… accidentally. But if you are any other vampire, and if it is any other human it wont matter. It's a little blood. But if you are a Cullen… it means…"

"Falling of the wagon" I muttered. "Years added taming the monster"

"And if it were a friend, this human you have harmed, it would mean utter devastation" Edward whispered "It seems unnecessary… but do you want to find yourself doing something unpredictable…"

Like licking Jacob's skin-covered jugular.

"…and killing someone you care about?" Edward asked "Or even just harming them enough so they think you are the most despicable creature to walk the earth?"

Jacob thinks I am a freak… he is just too polite and loyal to Leah to say so.

"I see" I grumbled, looking away from him.

"And that, is your first lesson in hunting animals" he said "To understand why it is we do it"  
"I already knew…" I snapped.

"Yes, you knew why… but you didn't _understand_ why, Olivia"

Xx~xx~xX

"Hunting is a personal thing…" he startled me as he said this. We had been moving relatively slow-I was beginning to think this was done for my own benefit, and he had been quiet and pensive. "Normally, vampires hunt alone… or with their mates… or in a coven. Hunting in a coven is tricky… think of it like… drinking with a group of friends"

"Wouldn't know… on all accounts" I grumbled. He was still twirling the blue flower, occasionally touching the breast pocket of his chest, as though he was contemplating taking something out of there.

"Right" he half sneered "The majority of your teenage years has been spent in under a year"

"Precisely"

"And the one friend you have has Asperger's?"

"Asperger's doesn't mean I cant hang out with Bart" I sighed "You are being narrow minded"

"I am highlighting that you didn't even try finding a normal human… so you too, could be normal"

"I can't be normal under the laws of humanity when I am not human" I said " I can only be normal under my laws… the joy of being one of a kind!" I twirled in the falling snow, closing my eyes "I can make my _own _laws"

"And your other friend is… Jacob" his voice lowered and my dizzy super fast twirling slowed considerably. I stumbled out of my snow tornado and looked at him intently.

"What about him?"

"You could have had other… experiences…"

"You don't get to ever talk about Jacob with me" I growled.

"Why?" he demanded.

"Because you don't talk about Isabella with me"

"My relationship with Isabella is public knowledge"

"I wasn't born into that public at the time" I said.

"What does it matter?" he asked, taking a step closer "It's over"

"She was only human at the end" I scoffed, looking away from him. I couldn't hold his gaze-he seemed exponentially more learnt with these games than I could ever hope to be. He seemed the master of manipulation; relentless and persistent in the most clandestine of ways. And I was wise enough to admit how naïve I was in such games…

"I was a vampire, in the end" he clarified. "Jacob is a wolf… you could find a part of your ideal normality in him?"  
"And be best friends" Edward said "Jacob seems specifically designed to be a best friend…"

"Everyone likes to think that" I muttered "But really, he is…" I couldn't say Uncle, because that would be a lie. I didn't think of him that way… he may have been the 'bottle-giver' at one point, maybe the 'playmate' at another and the 'go-to-person' to whine about my thoughts but Uncle… that was too much of a stretch. I could label him that to others but not to myself…

"I am his niece" I said eventually.

"He was the one you ran to when we arrived from Volterra" he said. He never talks about it, what had happened to us there or exactly what it is he had gone through although it was obvious he was clinging onto it all. "You two are close"

"So?" I stuck my chin up and crossed my arms "You are close to my father but you don't see me giving you the third degree about it? Are you worried that Jacob has told me something about your past that you would rather keep hidden…? Huh?"

He remained silent then. I had played the game a little more skillfully than he had thought I could manage. I had to use it to my advantage, I had to push further and take advantage of the fact that my thoughts were my own with this telepath…

"Keep your autobiography" I smirked "Maybe I'll just ask Jacob for an in-depth understanding of Edward Cullen?"  
"I am sure he has already given you a _preview_" Edward scowled. He was too beautiful for such expressions, his annoyance evident from his twisted lips but his striking face put everything terrifyingly into focus.

"That you can be a cocky prick?" I asked "I figured that on my own and you admitted it too"  
"I am not that vampire anymore… I would like for you to believe my words" he said softly.

"What is it that they say?" I asked and he laughed, it had to be the first time he had done so, so freely and without control. He seemed as startled by it as I was. The sound was velvety, fine and honey… he was vampire, God, it was expected. Why did he seem like the first vampire I had ever met?

He ended it with a crooked alluring grin that I wanted to capture and remember forever. I had never seen that, or felt… no, I had felt this before. I felt it when I had seen Jacob cry that once… that warmth of being privy to something so treasured and valuable that you wanted to shout out to the world that it was you who had been blessed by this. But you didn't, because in the end… it was just _that _hallowed.

"Girls with eyes as big as yours shouldn't stare" he murmured and I started, blushing furiously and spinning around and blinking dazedly at my surroundings. "Is the saying 'actions speak louder than words'?"

"Yes, whatever…!" I snapped walking away from him "Are you ever going to give me this goddamned introduction into hunting or am I going to have to learn to fish instead?"

"If you would calm down I could continue…?" he called, not following me "Human's daydream all the time Olivia. You shouldn't be upset, you should _appreciate _the fact that you get to do these things"

Problem was, I wasn't daydreaming… I had no thought in my mind save for you _silly_ smile.

"The difference between… hunting alone and in a coven…" I walked back, calmer.

"Okay then" he still had that humor in his eyes, his lips quirked impishly. "Hunting alone is the norm; you lose yourself to your instincts and become the basest of this form" he waved his hand uninterestedly over what many a _human_ would have thought to be God's best creation. And now, it clicked in my mind… _Tanya _considered Edward 'God's Best Creation' too. I was aware my eyes had widened with excitement at comprehending this fact…

"We are animals, Olivia" he took my expression for befuddlement and I allowed him, nodding my head. "We are predators… _sharks_, lions and for some… hyenas; eating and preying on anything with no worry for control"

"That is where the Volturi come in" I whispered and he tensed "For the… hyenas. The insatiable…"

"Yes" he tensed so visibly. I hated bringing it up immediately. He was silent for a moment, he seemed to pale… his eyes unfocused, lost in his memories.

"Carlisle…"

"Yes, he would have told you all about it" Edward snapped out of his reverie abruptly, somewhat disturbed "Yes… very important to know… about the Volturi"

"I am not a hyena!" I force out a laugh "Just… thirsty"

"It always starts that way" he said then shook his head, his hair dancing with the movement "Mated vampires hunt together occasionally… well, if they have appetites like _Emmett and Rosalie _then constantly. Hunting leaves us vulnerable to our very make up, to our… vampirism. It's raw…"

My eyes zoned in on his moving lips.

"…its animalistic" he barely opened them and yet the sound was so lovely "It's…private to some. The hunt, the predator side of us… its… private to some" he finished softly, casting me a nervous glance.

"Will you show me how you hunt?" I asked him, now intensely curious. His dark eyes focused on me and I shivered.

"No" he said curtly.

"Then what's the point of all of this?" I snapped.

"I didn't realize something" he said stiffly "You would need… Rosalie to show you this. It's a… bonding thing"  
"Oh, it's a 'I'm a girl and you are a boy' thing?" I growled "You want to know one of the things I love about Jacob? He never treated me like anything else other than _Olivia_!"

"How lucky he is to know you so completely" Edward said tonelessly. "Maybe I am being a little hasty. I will teach you as I promised… but after _I hunt._ I am way too thirsty to be an efficient teacher nor a…good example of how to behave with ones kill"

"Fine then" I said petulantly. "Shall we return with the report that we had a theory in the forest on hunting?"  
"I suppose" he murmured "You could benefit something in learning to move through the trees… very useful tool when hiding ones scent"

And with that he jumped upward into the trees, grinning at me and sticking his hand out.

"I hope one of the things about Olivia Cullen isn't that she is afraid of heights?" he raised an eyebrow and I growled.

The jump up was… annoying; branches whacked my face, the bark wouldn't yield to my grip and crumbled and I had fallen back down twice while Edward let out a series of merry uncontrolled chortles.

"Maybe next lesson, eh?" he grinned before launching himself fluidly from one tree to the next while I was left huffing while jogging beneath him.

Xx~xx~xX

"No hunt?" Carlisle asked through the phone. He had gone to Forks… and it seemed Edward wasn't as impressed with this as I was.

"No..." I murmured, walking out of the house before running into the woods. I kept walking, putting distance between me and their hearing "But it was… fun. It was okay"  
"You looking forward to it?" he asked "To hunting…?"  
"Edward said it was personal and he didn't want to teach before he had hunted himself" I sighed, sitting on a log.

"Understandably" Carlisle said and I frowned.

"Not understandable to me!"

"I am sure he doesn't want you to see him feral" Carlisle chuckled "Edward is all about appearance, a very neat hunter…"

"Of course he would be good at hunting too" I grumbled.

"It's not a competition, Olivia" Carlisle sighed "He is your teacher, don't forget that. This isn't… Jacob or Emmett; there wont be much playing. This is serious…"

"I'll try reminding _him_ of that!" I breathed, remembering Edward's carefree millisecond of laughter.

"Olivia…" it was Leah and I smiled abruptly. I had missed her… I had missed 'us' before the Italy incident and I knew the distance had calmed down her panic and anger. "Olivia…? How are things there…? Is Emmett behaving? We should be there in two days time…"

"Emmett isn't the misbehaving one here" I sighed "Rosalie and Tanya have formed a coalition that keeps its mischief solely targeted on Edward"

"Oh, that's _perfect_!" Leah laughed. "I have a message for you from Jacob… he wants… Oh, come on Jake! This is so juvenile… get your furry ass here… making me play 'broken telephone', grown as man like you…"

There was movement on the other line and I tensed. Would he want to talk to me… could he talk to me…

He sighed into the receiver "Olivia"

"Jacob" my voice had turned tiny suddenly, my insides clenching at the sound of his voice. My heart beat had picked up, the phone suddenly slippery in my sweaty grip.

"Still best friends even though I can be a jerk?" he asked

"Don't you mean… I am still your niece?" I asked him. There was a moment of silence, and he then he let out another weary breath.

"I promised I would be your friend, didn't I?" he said eventually "When I said that… I meant it. For always"

"Even though I…"

"We don't need to talk about that" he said quickly and I closed my eyes, Edward's words ringing in my ears on my absence of normality and having someone think you were the most despicable creature to walk the earth.

"Are you coming with the Parentals and Seth?" I braved.

"Do you want me there?"  
"Naturally" I went for blasé and grandiose and came out stammering and inaudible.

But he heard me, regardless…

"Then I am there, Ollie"

The line went dead, I could imagine Jacob tossing the phone to Carlisle and stepping out of the house to go for a run or to the bar. In the place of the silence, I could hear my own heart beat I could feel it hammering against my chest; stimulated by my fear and anticipation for Jacob Black.

**Authors Note:**

**Responses**

**Maybe Carlisle's excitement at having Edward back and in a more distinct and clear bond may be causing him to be a bit naïve about his first and most complex 'son' and friend? Or should we give Edward a chance? But then again, the past has always been a threat to the future…**

**I think what I like the most about Olivia right now, and I hope everyone has sort of noticed it… is how **_**human **_**she has become after Edward entered her life.**

**Yeah, your sorta Uncle and your sorta Godfather… maybe Olivia has it figured out, even though she doesn't know it in this chapter; when you are immortal and **_**not**_** human… its kind of useless to try and establish your connection to the world and others in a 'human' way? More so if you were born **_**not**_** human, like Ollie… unlike with Jake and Edward-who remember being human and thus, can feel the guilt of behaving in a way that is not logical or conventional to human ways, or miss that humanity.**

**My biggest fear with this was always how to separate the romance of Carlisle and Leah and enter Olivia's own story. And with the whole Jacob thing, how not to turn it into a 'Bella part two' situation.**

**Thank you all for the support!**

**See you next time…**

**Xx**

**TJ**


	18. The Nature of Predators

**THE NATURE OF PREDATORS**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

"_Jake... you came!" I was so happy, outrageously so and yet... I was terrified too. I half ran to him, then halted abruptly so the earth was hefted over my shoes and dust billowed around us. He was momentarily hidden behind a dust smoke screen but I could make out his tall muscular profile._

_The dust settled eventually; it was all over the coffee table in a thick sheen, it was spread out on the leather couches and powdered the television. I looked around us in confusion; we were in the house. I looked at the floor-it wasn't the dark hard wood floor... it was the forest floor. A caterpillar lazily moved over my shoes as if to reaffirm the fact that I was unfathomably standing on the forest floor in the living room._

_I looked back up, up at Jacob and there he was. He wore a shirt, the black one I secretly preferred on him and jeans._

"_You are over dressed?" I giggled._

"_Maybe I am tired of making you uncomfortable..." he raised his thickly shaped eyebrow and my insides twisted._

"_Uncomfortable with what?" I scowled at him, folding my arms over my chest._

"_This...?" he took the shirt of in one swift movement, the way he did when he was about to phase. I peeked a look at him, his body was glistening like the one time we had gone for a swim... defying the dust around us, his skin remaining a velvet tan. He reached behind his head and tugged at his hair tie... his hair came loose, it was long and straight... how I preferred it too._

"_Uncomfortable with what?" I repeated lamely, determined to look at him. "Your body? It's yours Jake..."_

"_That wasn't what I was talking about" he took a step forward, it was large and wide-his legs were much longer after all. He unbuckled his belt and my insides twisted again, zooming in on his large hand moving the buckle deftly; the veins slinked benignly under his skin with the movement and over the many bones of his hand. I gulped._

"Olivia?"_ the voice came from somewhere far off; I momentarily looked around for the owner._

"_You know what I was talking about" Jake insisted, a few feet from me. He ran his fingers through his hair roughly, his bicep prominent with the movement and his toned stomach stretching as he reached right through his hair. His hair fell back around his face with a few waves in its straightness._

"_Ollie..." Jake's voice was grating, a growl._

"Olivia..."_ the other voice called; an infinite chime and velvety wisp. I looked around for it, for its owner... I knew him, I had never forgotten him but the only name I could think of in the moment was..._

"Jacob_" my mouth moved and my voice came out low and rasping. He was right in front of me, he reached his hand to stroke my cheek-his hand was cold as ice and firm as marble._

"_You know what makes you uncomfortable..." Jacob whispered, lowering his head to mine. His dark eyes hooded and lips a darker russet. He reached his lips to my forehead and kissed me there lightly; those soft looking lips were cold, the breath a lovely icy chill over my skin._

"Olivia, we haven't got all day and how you can take a nap while I am talking to you...!" _the foreign lovely voice murmured right in front of me but there was no one there, just Jake in front of me. Jake locking his dark eyes with mine, Jake so beautiful like when he had cried in front of me..._

_He held my head firmly, and tilted his head so his neck elongated exquisitely. "You know what makes you so uncomfortable..." I loved how husky and unrefined his voice was, like when he was angry. What a strange thing to love... to want, to feel heat swirling right at the bottom of my stomach and to have my throat scratching and burning._

_I could see the thick bump of a supple tunnel under his smooth lovely russet skin; I could see the darkness of it, as blood moved lusciously through it. His neck was so strong, so perfectly beautiful as he tilted his head with such grace and invite..._

"_I don't know why you want me..." he growled._

"_It's wrong to want you" I breathed. "I shouldn't..."_

"_Then don't!" he righted his head and bore into my eyes "Stop wanting me... can't you see that I can tell? Stop being naive... stop being a child... let that part of you go and embrace the fact that you are now an adult. Stop hurting me Olivia, stop wanting me... don't you know I can tell you want me...?!"_

"_I didn't mean to hurt you Jacob!" I was in tears but my eyes had not stopped coveting that vein, oh that lovely sweet innocently seducing vein of Jacob Black's. "You see... I had thought you were beautiful... but... I didn't think it would hurt you if I thought it? As long as I didn't dwell on it and as long as you didn't know about it?"_

"_You hurt me...!" he was crying just like he had done that one time, that dreadful time I had started feeling this way... thinking he was beautiful, noticing his silly dark eyes and full mouth and that damned smell of his..._

"_Sorry, Jacob..." I whispered, holding him. I could feel his weight more pronounced than normal... he was never so heavy, I could carry him easily. I snuggled my head in the crook of his neck and inhaled. He was impossibly sweet, he was still heaven and hell... I kissed his neck and told him how sorry I was. I kissed it again, my lips slightly parted and he told me how sorry _he_ was. I licked his neck and he groaned like I was sure I had heard him through my sleep, when we had ended up fighting..._

"_But you liked it? That was why you were upset?" I asked him and he nodded. Something in me purred at his behaviour, his unwilling obedience to me "Then it can't be wrong if it feels good... Jake, I won't tell if you don't tell..."  
"But he will know..."_

"_Who will tell Edward...?" I whispered into his ear, already tilting his head-he tried to resist but I was stronger "I sure wont..."_

"_Olivia, you are hurting me..." he whimpered as my teeth tore through his flesh easily. I didn't care, I was made for this... and he was made for me to quench on for eternity and then some... "Olivia..."_

_I waited for it to fall on my tongue, it was taking too long... I needed to taste him... let me taste, Jacob..._

"_Olivia..."_

"_OLIVIA!"_

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Awake... finally" Edward stood far off in the shadows of the trees.

I sat up groggily and sulkily, rubbing my head and sure to send a cold glare at him.

"You hit me" I told him.

"You fell asleep" he stated "While I was teaching you about vampire fighting techniques..."  
"Maybe I fell asleep because there has never been anything to do with fighting that has been taught verbally and not physically" I grumbled rising from the ground.

"How would you physically fight with Jane or Alec?" he asked me, cocking an eyebrow. He moved about in the shadows to get closer to me... if there was one thing I had discovered about Edward, in the time I had spent with him in the woods... it was his dislike for sunlight.

Or maybe, what the sun did to his skin. I looked down at my own skin; it only glowed lightly, and it was still too low to be visible to human eyes.

"Enjoyed your nap?" he asked and I immediately flushed, my throat itching with my embarrassment.

"Yes" I muttered, flexing my fingers and glaring at him "Are you avoiding fighting me because you don't want to be beaten by a girl?"

"Yes, you have me figured out, Olivia Camille" he said tonelessly, his expression, as always, impassive.

"Yeah..." I kept the talk up, swinging my arms and imitating Mohammed Ali-bouncing around and jabbing the air "The one person who you can't read their mind, fighting me wouldn't be so easy... and you know it!"

"You have outfoxed me, you cunning beauty" he continued the sarcasm, with an extra pinch of desert dryness. "How smart you are... but wait, Isabella is the only person whose mind I can't read completely. Your mind, I can... get wisps of things-feel even, especially when you aren't conscious..."

That halted all mortal combat bravado, my hands falling limply at my sides.

"Feel?" I asked him tentatively.

"Like when you said Jacob's name..." his eyes narrowed just the tiniest bit "Again, and again you went on with the 'Jacob'... I felt some of your thoughts on the... _subject_"

"And what did you feel?" I whispered, ignoring his not so subtle mockery.

"That you were confused, fearful... _longing_" he said coldly, his expression hard and cheek twitching slightly. It smoothed over just as oddly as it had been displayed and he was back to his loveable impassive self.

"Of who?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You are much too intelligent to be playing dumb" he said stiffly, daring to enter the sunlight so he could stand in front of me "And I am much to intelligent to let you think you can try and fool me. You were practically _chanting_ his name like it was the key to performing miracles on earth..."

"I did not _chant_ his name...!" I hissed, thankful to the heavens that his name had been all that had sifted through my dream world into reality.

"Do you have feelings for him?" he asked me point blank and I reeled, I could feel myself pale.

"Ew!" I hissed "Ew, ew and ew!" I stuck out my tongue and made a face of revulsion. "I had a dream about Jacob... doesn't mean I like him. He is like..."

"Your Uncle?" Edward asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion and something else more sinister dancing in their darkness.

"My friend" I frowned at him. "Friend. Seth Clearwater is my Uncle..."

I didn't know why I needed to clarify this to Edward, who already knew on both accounts.

"Friend" he said the word sceptically "I should know more than most that no relation in eternity remains as it is as time rolls out..."

"You need to visit other words either than yours and Carlisle's" I muttered insolently, ignoring his skin's dazzle-which had the audacity to be so much more intriguing than any other vampire I had ever seen. I could feel my inscrutable dislike for Edward churning in my stomach, baffling and intense. "It wasn't longing you felt through my mind... it was thirst"

"Thirst for what?"

"Jake and I were at a party full of humans...in my dream" I looked away from him as I spoke "I was begging him to go home..."

"Your heart beat is pitching"

"At least I have one..." below the belt, but he was... as normal, eager to push me to the limit and I had been taught all interrogation tactics by the originally sarcastic Jacob Black.

"Not having one would allow you to lie more thoroughly" he seemed unbothered by my adolescent passive tantrum. "If I know Jacob Black's mind as well as I wish I didn't... I can tell you that he would be thoroughly disgusted with your thirst. Maybe you should hunt before your 'friend' arrives and disowns you as his 'niece'..."

"He isn't..."  
"He was your Uncle once, so all titles apply" Edward walked away swiftly, moving just slightly faster than a human-for my benefit I guessed "Welcome, to the complexities of immortal relatives"

"Well, there is nothing complex about _your_ title..." I grumbled, following him "Resident Grinch"

Xx~xx~xX

"Is hunting the same for all vampires?" I asked him. We were deep in the woods, much further from civilisation at this point. It was all trees, snow and rocks and Edward was all pensive and misery... if he was not huffing and sighing in impatience with me.

"I already told you about that" he droned, rolling his eyes.

"I meant... for us and other vampires"

"You aren't a vampire" he stated bored with me. "If you mean us true vampires, the ones who hunt animals and humans well, of course it is different. The animals are expecting predators to disrupt their lives at any moments..."

"You are making a fool of me"

"You are asking stupid questions or being too lazy to think through the intricacies of blood drinking vampires on your own. Your genealogy shows you do have a vampiric mind... why you choose to adopt a more... shapeshifter way of thinking is besides me"

"You are upset that I dreamt of Jacob" I guessed and his cheek did the odd nanosecond twitch thing, his lips pursing "Is that a 'vampiric' enough deduction for you?"

"What a wayward conclusion" he sighed, waving his hand in the air as though our discussion was tedious and irrelevant "Utterly off course"

"Are you going to show me how to hunt or not?" I sighed; glad I had thwarted his attempts at 'talking' about 'Jacob' in relation to me.

"I don't want to hunt with you" he stated, looking me in the eye "I only hunt with Carlisle"

"And Jasper and Emmett?" I don't know why his refusal to hunt with me hurt.

"I used to" he said contemplatively "But even then, it was a rarity. I only hunt with Carlisle"

"Err... okay" I wrung my hands over each other, confused by him; by his 'point blank' approach with everything. I wondered if he had always been this way; always pushed the veracity of his feelings with matters, allowing his emotions their liberty without much thought to the repercussions of such impetuosity.

"But why?" I couldn't contain myself.

"I already told you why" he said coolly, oddly pleased with my disappointment to not see him hunt.

"The predator is a private part of us... and something else you drivelled on about" I imitated his dismissive hand waving gesture perfectly. "I don't see the problem... if we are two predators"

"I wouldn't want you to think of me differently" he said softly.

"You haven't hunted" I said "Since you were back... would that mean you would go feral on your kill?"

"I have hunted" he whispered "Just small game... not enough to clear the thirst" he pointed at his still dark eyes.

I looked at him closely. "You haven't hunted with Carlisle?"

"Hunting is private, I have told you that" he said.

"But you also said you would only hunt with Carlisle and now... you are not hunting with Carlisle?"

"I'll hunt with him when he gets back"

"You are afraid he will see you go wild...?" I guessed. He didn't answer, his face hard and stone. I pushed further "You are afraid... to hunt alone, but at the same time the only person you can hunt with... you don't want him to see what it has done to you"

"What 'what' has done to me!?" he demanded, his eyes narrowed and lips a hard line. He was close to anger, very close...

"Staying in Volterra... without any big game?" I whispered and his nose flared, he looked left and right viciously as though to check for something... before appearing right before me, angered and his emotions bare before me. I had never seen this side of his beauty; it was alive, in action... moving and breathing "You are so used to the hunger now, but you are also afraid of being in the woods alone"

"You are young and stupid!" he spat and I controlled my anger at his words. I could feel my lip quivering to answer him back with something more poisons and hurtful. He took a step forward, his dark eyes on my face "What do you think you know of hunting, eh?"

I remained silent.

"What do you think you understand about _vampires_?!" he hissed inhumanly "You are no vampire... the beings you live with are a different sort of vampire. Tame... weaker... lesser... than what walks around in Volterra!"

I was terrified; his oil eyes scanning my face, piercing my own eyes and holding me to the snowy ground. They seemed to push a line into me, hooking me to him and turning me into some somnambulist.

"Blood" his ice breath fanned over my face exquisitely, terrifyingly chilled and fragrant "Is the last sin I have not committed..." he touched my shoulder with his ashen long finger and pressed. I could feel his strength as the finger pushed against my collar bone, hidden under my sweater.

"Olivia?" he whispered and I gulped in response "Are you afraid?"

"Yes" my voice trembled but the word came out whole, albeit in a whisper but whole.

"What of?" he asked, his face twisted in deepest despair.

"You"

"Why?" he asked "I have not hurt you...?"

"Yes but..."

"You _sense_ I can hurt you" he whispered into my ear and I nodded, his breath was billowing over the skin of my neck, enticing and unwanted. His voice was more silky, honey and heady "Do you think I can hurt you, sweetly _insolent _Olivia?"

I nodded.

"Look at me" he whispered and I flickered my gaze up at him once before cowardly returning my eyes to stare safely at his chest.

He was much too close; he was much too tall and beautiful. He was... a vampire, in that moment... and I was scared in a way I had never been before.

A different fear to what I had felt when Jacob had abruptly phased for me, a different fear to when Aro had touched my hand, a different fear to what I had felt when that werewolf had gotten to me...

"LOOK AT ME OLIVIA!" he roared and I shuddered, my whole body thrumming with fear and anticipation of _something_, my eyes swivelling up and drowning in his dark menacing ones in their evil enchanting encasing. I was hooked, I was hypnotised and he... he was staring deliberately into mine, seeing right through my soul... could he snuff it out if he wanted?

He was breathing hard and I was... breathing desperately because I was sure I was suffocating as he drowned me in his gaze, over and over again... and I could not fight because that fear and pain was lusciously pleasurable in the most cruel of ways.

The devil was staring into me, and I was in reverence at his consideration to even look upon me.

"You sense I can hurt you?" he asked and I nodded, never breaking eye contact "I could hurt you... Olivia... Camille... do you know why?"

"No" I squeaked.

"Because I am a predator in this instance... and you are not" he closed his eyes and he released me from their dark hold. I reeled back on the heels of my feet before staggering. He caught my shoulders and steadied me.

"You have a beating heart..." he whispered, his eyes seemed weary now while mine refused to meet his gaze for longer than five seconds lest they be hypnotised again. "Your heart... to me, a vampire... puts you in prey category. It would be a distraction when I am hunting... that is why, I presume... you have never seen any of the other vampires hunt. You are a distraction and when we hunt..."

"You are at your basest form...the rawest" I whispered. His hands were still holding my shoulders, he was alternating his strength between such softness and a more prominent grip. I wondered if he was comparing my fragility to that of Isabella's.

He smiled weakly. "Carlisle would have liked for me to teach you to hunt because he thinks I am in control... like I used to be. Almost as in control as he was at one point, but like you pointed out; I have been starving in Volterra. I am... also _afraid_ of the woods, to be alone in them... with my thoughts. But I am more afraid of you being alone in them... hence why we go out together in here"

He looked about him, at the woods as he said this but did not release me from his grip... as though he feared I would run off. I had thought of doing just that, and maybe he had sensed the thought; in my fear... my mind was more vulnerable to his telepathy.

"You and I are two different sorts of predators" he said, recovering his control. I knew I had moments left of witnessing his bare faced passion-a passion that I had a feeling was exponentially greater than what I was seeing "I am... a vampire. And you are a... mountain lion. I have my prey, and you are one of them. You have your prey... whatever that may be, and we may share an elk... but I could just as easily prey on you. The vampires you live with, you know... our family...?"

I nodded.

"They would never think of your scent this way, naturally and morally" he said "But as long as you have a beating heart, you will be prey to other vampires"

"Am I prey to you?" my voice was soft, gone was my insolence. I felt like a little girl in his hands, and not in the sense of a child. I felt... like a 'little woman', a damsel... a dithering pretty daisy.

"You understand the fear you felt then" he pulled me closer and kissed my forehead, his lips were cold, the breath a lovely icy chill over my skin... "And that Olivia Camille, is the difference between hunting an animal and preying on a human"

"I am no human" I pouted, his hands leaving my shoulders finally, when he was certain my fear of him had abated.

"Your heart will send a different message to vampires out there" he waved his hands to the 'out there' vampires. "You are... a predator, yes, fair enough. But we are not of the same category, do you understand?"

"Humph" I folded my hands over my chest and scowled at a unassuming tree.

"Petulance back full swing..." he grinned his crooked grin but it not the same one I had seen before "Arrogance rising... I'd say you have overcome the _compelling _quite impressively... for a human"

"I am not human!" I growled and punched his arm, the way I would have done if it were Jacob teasing me. Edward did not react by laughing raucously or punching me back as hard as he could-well, for Jake in human form he would have to opt for full strength. Edward simply looked at his arm in confusion and then back at me in an odd bafflement before touching his arm. I knew I hadn't hurt him really, maybe shocked him with the contact. "Sorry" I mumbled.

"You aren't human, yes" he said after a second "I agree. But you are part human and you are susceptible to vampire duress"

"Vampire...?"

"The way blood drinking vampires hunt humans... well, the _vampires_ that aim for discretion with their activities and do things the proper way"

"Hypnotise?"

"Is that what it felt like to you?" he asked me softly and I nodded.

"Sort off..." I sighed, shaking the deadly craving look that had shown in his eyes away.

"It is an _intimate _look" Edward murmured, looking at his hands and studying his finger nails with too much interest and concentration although he was currently conversing with me "Most human's mistake it for something else... a deep _lust_ from their predator. One should be careful with their thirst in that regard; you may not turn into a hungry hyena but you will leave a trail of admirers and interest with your blackened eyes"

"You did it to me?"

"You provoked me..." he said stiffly. "You were insinuating I was cowardly"

"Fine" I scowled at him. "Fine... don't hunt with me"

"What if I attacked you by mistake?" he asked.

"I'd fight you off..."

"I could have asked you to tilt your neck and show me that lovely neck... and you would have done it for me, Olivia" he whispered apologetically "Willingly and with anticipation for my bite..."

"I would have fought you off!" I snarled "And you would have gone flying into the air and away from me!"

"You can't fight me off!" he laughed, appearing before me and flipping my hair rudely with his fingers "You would be under my _spell_, little Olivia with the blush and beating heart!"

"I wouldn't be!" I insisted.

"Let's just say you didn't fall into my gaze...?" he asked raising an eyebrow "How would you fight me off? You are weaker in this form... you break much easier than I could ever... you won't heal the way I would...?"

"I'd fight you...!" I shoved him and he moved only a step backwards. So I swerved my leg over the ground and hooked his, and he almost toppled but skipped lithely to the side and twirled me around without my ever feeling his hands on me. He had me in a deadlock, his cold fingers resolute around my wrist, twisting my arm behind my back painfully. His other hand held my own hand in front of me with equal strength and forced me to face the woods, with my back held firmly against his front.

"You will train and pay attention willingly and vigorously" he breathed into my ear and I shuddered, whimpering and hissing at him but he was unperturbed by this little theatrics. I was never going to be free of his hold, this was a well skilled move on his part and mine had been born out of impulsiveness and pride.

"You will learn what needs to be learnt, you will understand what needs to be understood-be it theoretical and practical..." he growled low and I felt my anger so thoroughly, it spiked and bloomed and threatened to tear out of me but Edward and I both knew it couldn't... it was lacking the fuel to do so. "You will do all the above with strenuous dedication because Olivia Camille Cullen, the vampires 'out there' think of you as nothing but prey..."

"You will leave your childishness behind..." he released me, pushing me away from him and pacing, blurring in front of me "All these... 'Jacob' fights and dreams of 'parties', you will leave behind. There are monsters out there, there are Jane's and Alec's, there are desperate vampires... insane ones and there are werewolves who are nothing but vile brutality under leathery skin. You will be a student and I will be your teacher and you will learn like your life depends on it!"

I stood stiffly and watched him, not sure whether I hated him or feared him but resolving to not let either show. I remembered it all, although I had been desperately trying not to think about it; Aro, the scene that had been hidden from me of humans being fed on (oh, but the sound of their deaths was lodged in my audio memory)... Jane's gaze... oh, that wretched werewolf...

I couldn't decide on what it was I felt towards Edward, but I knew I needed him more than any other being because we understood each other in a way that was _mystifying._

"I am not Carlisle...!" he laughed erratically "I would not fool you of the goodness of the world. And that was why he put me as your godfather... I know this..." he tapped the side of his head as he said this "I saw from his mind. Leah agreed with him... I would never coddle you; I would never lie to you of the nature of our reality. I am not Carlisle and I ceased to be that _other_ Edward they all warned you about... I am sorry. Maybe Volterra has made me so cruel"

He stopped his ferocious movements and looked up at the sky, before continuing in a low sad tone "If I had not gone there, if they had not been so cruel and I had not adopted such ruthlessness... would you say you trusted me as your teacher then? If I remained as I was; pompous, childish, selfish, absorbed... obsessive... broken by my love for..."

He paused abruptly and shook his head.

"You are at war with yourself?" I whispered. When my feelings for his behaviour and who he was to me now, settled into something complex and unsteady and inside that disarray, all I understood was that he was fractured and there was a piece of him that deserved unwavering respect from me because his actions, as impulsive and selfish as they had been, had been for love of his family and maybe... I supposed I could admit it, his great love for Isabella.

"Always at war with myself!" he laughed again, erratically and strangely. "Here I am, Olivia. Your teacher, broken and tainted... but I swear I want you to be safe. And I know better than all of them-our dear naive family-that the only way for you to be this, is to embrace your nature like I had. I am manipulative and the price of my love is too high for most beings to ever earn... I am nothing honourable, but I think honour can be earned"

"I don't know my nature" I whispered.

"Then learn it..." he whispered "Learn it like your life depends on it... because one day, it will depend on it"

"What did you do in Volterra?" I asked absently.

"Everything" he scoffed hard "And then some. But I cannot blame Volterra for all of my... indiscretions. I was on the road to evil long before I had gone to Aro. It may have begun when I had opened my eyes to Carlisle... and his world"

"Right" he breathed, composing himself. He couldn't go back to the total impassiveness though, his emotions now seemed to be splayed out in his eyes although he wore the beautiful cold mask competently. "I have come up with a solution for you to hunt... you have learnt stealth and how to utilize your senses together"

I nodded, suddenly very obedient and attentive to him. I remembered the lessons and my private little cheering when I could move without sound and less trees uprooted, when I could jump with more precision and run more lithely... maybe this was what had deluded me into thinking I was a full vampire and forgetting I was part human somewhere...

"Yes" I answered him.

"Then you will discover your own way of hunting..." he breathed, casting me a wary look "Under supervision of course... since you now know all the theory"

"You'll supervise..."

"Not me..." he rolled his eyes "Have you not heard the part of how private a hunt can be between vampires..."

"Now I am a vampire again?" I asked sardonically.

"But I am sure you wouldn't mind Jacob accompanying you on your first hunt" Edward said, ignoring me. "Heavens knows he likes to be 'involved' in everything..."

"Actually he doesn't..." I wound my hands again "Especially... vampire stuff"

"Won't it make you more comfortable?" he asked "He is the person you trust the most..."

I didn't know how true that was. I remained silent.

"Jacob it is..." he picked up his pace "And after your hunt and you are strong... we can begin with combat..."

Xx~xx~xX

"Olivia!" Leah attacked me in a hug, touching my hair and pressing kisses to my forehead. Carlisle was beside her, equally happy to be back with me. I made out Seth skulking upstairs and standing stiffly in the doorway like he was denied entry by an invisible force field and needed a 'magical' invite... stood Jacob.

For five minutes they tussled me, praised me on what I had accomplished with regards to my tactile senses and for five minutes I could feel Jacob watching us, watching their joy and oblivion to my obvious change.

I couldn't look at him, my insides twisted and knotted. When I was done smiling and agreeing to a race later on with my mother, when I was done accepting Carlisle's offer at teaching me more on Volturi-similar lessons he had given Edward once... when I was done and looked back at the door, he was gone. He had never entered the house.

"Excuse me... I have to..." I was trying to remove myself from Rosalie's hold and Leah's excitement on the progress the wolves made with training as well as Emily's pregnancy being 'difficult' to hide now; I was not a child anymore and I had never realised it more acutely than on this day with Edward.

"Would you please release me!" I growled and Rosalie's hands disappeared from me, Leah raising an eyebrow in confusion. "Thank you..." I sighed, stepping out of the house and leaving them all in confusion, and maybe only Jasper and Edward understood.

Xx~xx~xX

"Ollie..." his smile didn't reach his eyes. He sat on a log a few feet into the forest surrounding the house. I made to sit on the log with him but he got up as I reached the log, pushing his hands in his pockets and walking away. "How are things?"

"You are... wearing a t-shirt" I pointed out, grateful it was not black.

He looked down on himself and chuckled "I am, aren't I?"

"You came in the car?"

"We all did" Jacob smiled. "Leah was tired of Seth giving me the silent treatment and I was tired of everyone trying to pry in my mind... so Carlisle suggested the car"

"How are things... with err, Seth" I stumbled over my words, playing with my hair and sitting alone on a soggy mossy log while Jacob paced in front of me.

"Tense... but we are down to being in the same space albeit in silence..." he said "Improvement on that front I guess. I was so selfish with him..." he half groaned that part in pain. "I can be very selfish... I don't want to be that way with you. I said I would always be your friend as long as eternity permitted..."

"Eternity permits!" I hissed

"It does... for you" he said softly "This..." he waved a hand over himself "Is my attempting a human life"  
"You want to stop phasing?" I gasped out the words

"Err, what about a 'good for you' Jake?" he smiled weakly. I looked away from him, ashamed that it was I that was selfish. "Ollie..."

"No, I get it" I said "I saw how you didn't come into the house... you don't want this..."

"I want... you" he paused, his eyes widening almost in fear "I mean... I want to be there for you. That's why I am here? You need me and I am here, aren't I? Do I need to be in the same space as Edward and the other vamps? No, I don't..."

"So what, you are going to sleep in the outdoors?"

"Nope" he popped the word "I'll sleep in your king sized bed since you like sleeping in my tiny one in La Push so much..."

Another awkwardness and he cleared his throat. "I meant... I am going to sleep in the apartment in town... I never sold it. You can come and visit...?"

"Okay" I said softly, still reeling on a future that had no actual duration, a future where he wouldn't be. It wasn't immediate, I knew he would stick around until I was safe... but it was impending, and that was bad enough.

"So... what's new?" he asked in forced casualness.

"I am supposed to hunt tomorrow, before I can start training" I said slowly, watching him.

"Hunt what?" his brow puckered in confusion. He stood a little off from me, his scent... I ignored it as best as I could and I was grateful he had risen from the log, I was grateful that the wind blew so his scent was thrown away from me.

"Err, animals?"

"Why" he half demanded, refusing to acknowledge the obvious.

"So I can... feed?"

He was silent, closing his eyes and scowling viciously at the ground. "Okay" he said eventually.

"Okay?"

"Okay" he said, finally looking up. "It was... bound to happen. So err, you are... excited?"  
"Scared" I whispered. "Edward thinks I should learn my own method on things... he thinks I should learn my 'nature' on my own"

"He thinks... that's a miracle enough" Jacob chuckled "So will all the Cullens be there?"

"No" I said.

"They are sending you in the woods alone?"

"No"

"Olivia" he huffed "Could you try and make sense!?"

"No, I am not going with any vampires... I am going with you" I said fast.

"No, you can go with Leah" he replied immediately.

"But I want to go with you!?" I hadn't realised this until he had smoothly negotiated over the fact that I was thirsty. "You are my friend... you always said so."

"Fine" he huffed. "Fine... but you better not be hunting wolves!"


	19. When Predators Prey, God listens

**When Predators Prey, God Listens**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**x**

The apartment building is relatively the same. I don't know why I expected some sort of drastic change... like being away from this place for less than three years would warrant a leap in structural development. Three years for me had been close to a decade... here, it was mere seconds.

He isn't in his apartment; the door was locked and I broke it to get in... Irritated that he was late. The apartment is sparsely furnished and his bedroom holds a large bed and stacks of unopened boxes. I want to open these, wondering what could be inside that he would never throw away. I don't... I am too upset. He forgot that I was hunting today...

Or maybe he was pretending like it wasn't happening. He was Jacob, in the end... and Jacob Black thought sucking blood was disgusting. There are two empty but used glasses on the side table; one of them has lipstick on the rim. I pick it up carefully and survey the pink lip print. I look at the bed, with the twisted sheets in the middle of it and the duvet half dangling on the bed's edge. It smells... of sweat and something else. Pungent enough that I realise without even trying that _that _something _else _is the smell of _sex_. The glass breaks in my hand, shards flying everywhere. I don't react to this, my hand is fine but my anger isn't.

I don't know what I wanted from him, what I wanted in particular... or especially the complex way I felt towards him. Maybe it was the way he smelt to me but that was a technicality; it would go away after the hunt. I wasn't about to dissect it, or try and understand why it was only Jacob that smelt this way. No other human... no other shapeshifter... just Jacob Black.

I ghost out of his apartment-leaving the door open and hoping some criminal will wipe the place clean... and take the nasty sheets with him. I know where he is, if he isn't in his apartment and he most certainly wasn't at the house... he would be at the old workshop.

The workshop has changed; it has been renovated and there is a nice sign outside it. There are new workers inside, tinkering with different cars and wearing matching overalls. They watch me curiously as I walk through, easily manoeuvring through all the chunky equipment. I can smell him, through the oil and metal and I can hear his steady huffing and gruff low cursing-he is working on something. It's therapeutic, he once told me, but by the sounds he is making I doubt he is anywhere near being relaxed.

"Can I help you?" a chubby man asks me, blocking my way. His eyes shine with something, an interest to my beauty I suppose-he wouldn't know I am only just seven would he? To him I am a beautiful woman, even in the baggy sweater and equally loose jeans.

"I am looking for..." I begin but he continues to leer at me and this irritates me. I purse my lips and swallow my growl-hanging around Edward had made me growl-ready of late "Jake" I end stiffly and his expression muddles up in confusion.

"Jake...?" he raises a barely there eyebrow, his shiny face looking oddly cartoonish.

"Jacob" I sigh impatiently but he still doesn't get it. "The owner!" I snap and he smiles, rolling his eyes.

"Mr Black" he chuckles "He is in the back... his in a foul mood missy so whatever it is... I am sure he would call a pretty little thing like you later on, like I already told you over the phone..." I cringe at 'missy' and scowl at 'pretty little thing' but don't bother to analyse his words further.

"I'll find my way" I growl, shoving past him easily. He jumps in surprise when I push him to the side without much effort and follows me back.

"Hey, I said he is in a foul mood!" he calls, half skipping to keep up with me. "Girly... listen... for your own good..."

"Only I know what's good for me...!" I growl, pushing at the door leading to the private section of the garage. It groans lightly from my force. Its locked, and Jacob has put the music up and I can hear the sound of thick metal moving over something... he is working more furiously and adamantly. He knows I am here...

"Look, maybe if you came around lunchtime... after a meal..." he goes for diplomatic and instead comes out pathetic, his forehead beaded with sweat. I wondered why he was so afraid... Jacob could be scary, sure enough... but he was always Jacob 'sarcastic' Black to me in the end.

"You know what... that's exactly it" I step closer to him and pierce his eyes with mine "All this _pretty little thing_ wants is a meal, and by God if your idiot boss doesn't get his ass out of there and take me to get a meal... I'll be a very unagreeable _missy _and break this door down!"

I have frightened him, I can see it in his eyes. His pupils constrict and loosen, his sweating increases and his heart beat thrums a little faster. He gulps and looks at the door and then braves a soft "Go ahead..." he chuckled nervously "Huff and puff and blow the door down. It's reinforced love, that's where our priority cars go" he jerks his thumb at the thick door "Mr Black himself made sure it was thief proof"

"Well..." I sneered, pressing a palm flat on the door "I doubt its Olivia Camille proof!"

I pushed it sharply and heard numerous thick bolts and nuts pop out at the other end. By then, I was sure Jacob paused his ignoring of his reality, to at_ least _look at the door. Mr Chubby thought the doors lack of budging was a sign of defeat on my part and grinned widely.

"Come back lunch time, ma'am" he smiled in satisfaction.

"I think I'll _stay_" I rolled my eyes and made for the handle, pushing it down and listening to the sound of metal complaining and then I hefted my shoulder against the 'thief proof' door and pushed against it once, forcing the door open and releasing the handle. The thick door fell over on to the floor of the garage with a bang. The sound reverberated through the garage and all work stopped immediately.

Jacob was standing in front of his old decrepit Rabbit, a wrench in his hand and a shirt missing from his body. He was caught between bewilderment and rage, his eyes darting from his 'super duper heavy duty door' in wonder and back up to my face in anger, then swivelling to Mr Chubby by my side in irritation.

"You..." Mr Chubby breathed, pointing a chubby finger down at the bowed door on the floor. I walked over the door easily, it wobbled lightly as I stepped onit. "She... she..."

"Joel..." Jacob's voice was low and controlled "Could you tell the guys that the shop is closed for the day"

"Mr Black...?" Joel blinked.

"Tell the _fucking _guys that the shop is _fucking _closed for the _fucking_ day!" Jacob roared, his face turning redder than its russet and eyes momentarily black. I jumped back, my irritation and righteous impertinence momentarily forgotten in favour of sympathising with Joel's panicked squeal and uncoordinated run back to the front of the shop, followed by his high pitched repeat of 'Mr Black's' instructions.

Jacob was breathing heavily, the wrench grasped mercilessly in his large right hand while his left hand fisted and unclenched its fingers insistently. He didn't look at me then, closing his eyes and trying to calm his breathing.

"You broke my _expensive_ door" he whispered.

"It was jammed" I said.

"It was locked" he replied, his voice quivering slightly.

"It had to be jammed..." I continued in fake innocence "Why would you lock me out when you knew today we had to go hunting?"

"I forgot" he answered too quickly, he lied too easily. He bent over and hid under the bonnet of the car, tinkering furiously and still breathing hard.

"I thought we were cool, Jake" I whispered, jumping on to the counter and pushing some of the work tools to the side. My hands were shaking slightly I realised, my own heart beating a bit too fast.

"We are..." he said immediately, another brash lie. I looked around and saw bottles of whiskey and brandy littered about the work counters, stools and half empty and oil smudged bottle sat innocently on a red sleek Mercedes.

"This is all from today?" I asked him, pointing around the place. He didn't emerge from under the hood of his car; he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Sort of..."

"I went to your apartment... you weren't there. There were bottles around too" I said "Did you have a... party?"

"My apartment was locked"

"The door was jammed"

"You broke my apartment door?" he half yelled, pausing his wrenching and jabbing of the engine but still refusing to resurface from under the hood. I could see his arms tense, the muscles clenching threateningly.

"The door was..." I began and he did emerge then, his face contorted in anger. If I had failed to notice in the first instance that his eyes were bloodshot, I noticed now. I immediately went quiet as he strolled slow and leisurely towards me. I thought about jumping off the counter and rushing to the other side of the large space-I was much faster than he was of current-but his anger held me. He stopped half way, abruptly, and swung his arms as though to release some aggression or anger.

"You broke my expensive door and then you broke my apartment door..." he said slow, and in a sing song way-as though he was asking an intriguing question.

"No" I murmured "I broke the apartment door first..." I paused and then scowled at him "Then I broke your nasty glass with the lipstick print"

"Money doesn't grow on trees, Olivia" he whispered, rubbing his left temple.

"Nor do friends" I told him "How the hell can you say we are friends when you stand me up... on one of the most important days of my life...!?"

"I got tied up...!" he spoke over me, his voice fast becoming loud but it would never match the volume of my half vampire voice.

"You said you would be there for me...!"

"I want to be there for you...!" he hissed.

"...your phone was off..." I was breathing fast and he was caught between guilt, anger and something wretched-it twisted his face and made him seem so thoroughly agonised."I looked like an idiot twiddling my thumbs waiting on you..."

"I left your house, Ollie" he whispered and I stopped talking, watching him "And everything between you and I was okay? Wasn't it?"

I paused, recalling our meeting. "You never came into the house"

"Semantics, Olivia" he rolled his eyes "But everything between you and I was fine, right?"

I remained silent.

"We weren't just... 'talking' right?" he whispered "We weren't just trying to make everything okay?"  
"No, we meant everything" I said.

"You are so naive" he rolled his eyes. "And young" he finished sombrely.

"You are so predictable!" I hissed "You always find a way of letting people down..."

"Get out..." he whispered.

"Fuck you...!" I snarled.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" he rushed towards me, I was a rabbit in the headlights... I didn't move although his eyes had flashed into that amber brown of his wolf form and I thought I had saw fangs protrude from under his lips. He reached me, slamming his fist hard right beside my thigh, right into the hard counter top so that all the tools wobbled and quaked, some falling off of the counter top and clanging to the ground. His face was right in front of mine, his hot breath fanning viciously over my face and eyes narrowed and filled with fury. "Why do you think I owe you something?!"

I gulped, but held my chin up besides my fear.

"I don't owe you anything Olivia" he whispered, his breath moving over my face much hotter and filled with turbulence. "I cared for you because I wanted to, I looked after you because I wanted to... I was your friend because..."

"You wanted to?" I asked softly, holding my breath.

"Exactly" he breathed "I didn't need to do all those things. I wasn't what you 'needed', I was... you where..."

"I was what you needed?" I whispered.

"NO!" he pushed away from me, shaking his head. "This isn't that... it isn't that. We would have... known... we would have been drawn like Sam and Emily or... the others. Like..."

"Quil and Claire?" I asked him softly. "You think of me like Quil does with Claire?"  
"NO!" his face paled. "No... not like... its isn't..." he shook his head vehemently.

He stopped talking all together, fear in his eyes.

"This isn't the imprint" I filled in his gaps "You and I haven't imprinted so you don't understand why you... can't let me go?"

"Only till you are safe, then I am gone" he whispered to himself. "I need a change of scenery" he walked off, I hadn't realised he had still been holding the wrench-he tossed it away from him and it struck the red Mercedes right through the bonnet, lodging itself there like Excalibur.

"Shit" it was the calmest thing he had said as he saw what he had done to the expensive car.

"You are drunk?"

"So what" he went back to his car, not looking at the damaged Mercedes again. "The drunkenness is going away fast..."

"I don't understand"

"And you have the audacity to get upset when I tell you how naive and young you are when you constantly don't understand..."

"You aren't explaining anything...!" I yelled. "You've just resolved to be an _ass _like usual, when things seem to emotional for you to handle!"

"What could possibly be emotional about you and I?" he laughed derisively. "You only just... I don't know, licked my neck and kissed it and fucked up my mind. You fucked me up, Ollie...!"

This was worse than the dream. I exhaled and inhaled, and his scent was overpowering, overpowering the metal, oil and greasy car smells. I looked beside me, where he had punched the counter; the veneer was chipped right through to the timber and there was a smudge of blood on it...

"Sorry" I mumbled, half aware that he was still ranting and fully aware that my finger was touching the blood on the counter.

"... I said we would forget about it...!" he was raving, clanging away at stuff under the bonnet of the car. I had pressed my finger right through to the chippings, the pale skin at the tip of my index finger being smudged with thick black crimson.

"...but I couldn't stop thinking... well, about it...!" he was going on and on while I stared at my finger, raising it right in front of me and surveying the thick syrup, holding my breath for as long as I could but I knew it wouldn't last long "...and she did the same thing, on my neck and I was thinking of you suddenly and I couldn't stop... do you know how inappropriate... and Joel had to tell Elsie off on the phone... calling insistently trying to find an explanation on why I would say another's name..."

It looked... enticing... delicious... although it was not nearly as hot as what would be flowing inside Jacob's veins.

"...It's not easy to stop phasing!" he sounded like he may have been close to tears "You need stability... Elsie was close to stability!"

"You are bleeding" I cut him stiffly, my voice loud although I hadn't been shouting. He shrunk away from the volume, rising from beneath the bonnet awkwardly so he hit his head on its underside. When he finally emerged he had a look of mild irritation and pain.

"You are bleeding" I repeated, raising my bloodied finger.

"Oh" he looked at his hand, stretching the fingers out and then curling them into a fist. "Splinter lodged under my skin, its stopping the healing..."

I wished this was a dream so badly.

"Let me help you..." I jumped over the counter and walked slowly towards him.

"No, I can handle it" he whispered but it was his turn to be pinned to the ground by my eyes. It was his turn to feel fear and anticipation... "Ollie..." his voice was low, scared.

"Let me help you?" I tilted my head and held my hand out expectantly for his hand. I looked right through his dark brown eyes, I refused to stop, never blinking. He gulped and unwillingly rested his large hand in mine. The blood around it was vaguely interesting in comparison to the trickling blood by his third knuckle.

I took the wood chipping out slowly and watched as the skin immediately fused up, the blood clotting. In a second, all that was evident of his self inflicted injury was the dried blood on his hand.

"Thanks" he muttered, retracting his hand so fast and wiping it on his jeans furiously, his eyes large and sobered. He slammed the bonnet shut and it groaned from the force, while he cringed and muttered 'something new to fix, I suppose...'

He walked away from me, reaching for a vaguely clean cloth and partially wiping his torso with it before chucking it behind him. I couldn't move, simply watching him in foreboding. He grabbed a shirt-the black one, good heavens-and put it on in record time, spinning around and searching for something. He looked back, right past me and sighed-in a much lower rendition of his husky voice "Ollie, could you err... pass me my jacket...?"

I looked behind me stiffly, spotted the leather jacket, got it and handed it to him too fast and hasty. He ignored my sudden use of speed and put the jacket on, briefly glancing at the maimed Mercedes before grabbing his car keys on the opposite counter.

"First up..." he walked quickly out of the garage, jumping easily over the broken door on the floor and lithely moving through the front of the workshop. It was empty, the tools and overalls strewn over the workstations as though Joel had announced a 'Tsunami' instead of a day off from their lovely boss. I wondered how many times Jacob had been here, and if each time he came... he brought the big bad temper of the Alpha with him in his human form.

"First up... we get a door for my place" he clicked on his remote and the locks of his car popped up. I opened the back seat door slowly and he sighed "Look, I promise not to lose my cool if you promise not to... lose yours or... break my doors? There isn't a car seat back there... you know"

"Right" I closed the door and opened the front door, taking a seat awkwardly in his Ford.

"Listen..." he sighed, putting the key in the ignition but not starting the car "I didn't forget about your hunting trip today. I was... ashamed because... of what I am failing to forget"

"The licking incident" I whispered and he sighed, looking away from me and clutching the steering wheel hard. I wondered if I should tell him how badly I wanted to taste his blood, how erotic I thought of his jugular... how the sight of him shirtless had turned into an irrepressible allure for me...

I wondered if I told him those shameful things then maybe he wouldn't think it was all on him. We were two shamed peas in a pod...

"Being around you... is different" he said and then groaned "I don't know how to talk to you, how to relate to you... I just don't. Okay. This is who I am... this is who I have become over the past five years or so... I drink till I can't think right and sleep with _many_ women..."

"I am happy with that..." he breathed. "I like that. I have my little workshops and they pay the bills and when I am stressed out, I get to go to them and work on something. I like that life..."

"It's the human life you long for" I said miserably, hating that I had pulled him away from that little piece of heaven.

"To a degree" he whispered "I had longed for someone in it, I guess. I had settled that there wouldn't be that someone and I would just substitute her with all the women in the world while I kept you as my '_Ollie_'" he looked at me then, his eyes round and... younger.

"But you cannot equate to all the women in the world" he whispered. "Okay? You aren't 'my Ollie' and if I ever want to stop phasing I have to find that one woman who can, you know, calm me.. not be reverted back to a sixteen year old with a fucked up crush!"

"I don't..."  
"_Fucking_ understand" he finished dryly, starting the car and driving too fast from the shop. "You scare me these days..."

"I know"

"But I scare you too" he whispered.

"I know"

"We scare each other" he chuckled. "When you do understand everything... don't hate me when I leave. Because once it's all done and you are safe, Ollie... that's exactly what I am going to do. Leave... and never come back to this sort of life"

I couldn't speak for a second, and he sighed, checking to see if I was crying. I wasn't and I was grateful for that.

"We get the door for my apartment, I take you hunting then you go home, okay?"

"Where will you go after I am home...?"  
"To find all the women of the world" he whispered. "Since Elsie is a non starter thanks to last night's blunder..."

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

At such a time and through all I had done, it may have been naive of me to believe we were all inherently good. Could there be such a thing as a babe born full of blackness? A child so malicious that staring into its eyes would cause the observers soul to recoil into itself; to know such a darkness could cause light to fall into suicide?

Naivety was the safety net of the mind and her mind had wrapped itself so easily and willingly in such innocence for too long, and for too short a time and time had caught up with her. The Selfish Nature, was awoken in her and she was barely fighting it. Those eyes had been my saving grace once, as they had been for Jacob and his loneliness. Those eyes had been so sanctified that all hues that dared to imitate its shade were condemned and put on trial for such sacrilege.

The ribbon is always in the breast pocket of any shirt I wear, over my stone heart. It's almost the blue of her eyes from her earliest moments in the world... almost...

I want that blue to return to her eyes desperately and selfishly; just like Jacob does. That blue was safety in comparison to that daring darkness of her navy-that shadowy cobalt. I want her small and weak in my arms, I want to have watched her grow, I am jealous of this but at the same time... I fear what her sudden beauty would have done to my fragile sanity, as I watch what it is doing to Jacob's naive mind and heart.

I may not know the little baby long gone in the past, nothing but a cherished memory of baby blue... baby azure... What I know is this woman with the mischievous pout and the curious look in those navy eyes. I know _her _better than they all do because this is who I met, as she is without any influence from the past.

Jacob Black hates himself almost as equally as I hate him because he knew my baby Azure; he held her in his arms, he cradled her and cuddled all her fears away... he hates himself because he played with her, ran with her and fought with her. Olivia had been his 'spunky little niece' for a period...

What he hates himself for the most, is how he truly _loathes _Camille. He dreads moments alone with her and yet the prospect of being in her presence ignites something inside him that had been dormant for so long. He is careful not to look into those hated navy ink eyes and yet he had been drawing mental pictures on their beauty in those moments he had been alone, with his idiotic red car...

A part of him thinks she is evil, a part of him thinks it is him that is full of sacrilege to the bond between him and Olivia (he has failed, like they all have, to recognise her as Camille-this is eternity and everything is played out in changing laws).

I knew he wouldn't know how to coddle her-it had not been in his nature back then, when she was child and he most certainly wouldn't want to do anything of the sort now. This is what makes him perfect to her current stage of life. They are both selfish, demanding something from the other-wanting it badly, and forcing it out each time and each stage...

He watches her, he allows her to fumble without intervening and he wars with his emotions and mind. I am glad he is resolved to leave, Olivia however, feels as though he has already left and is plotting ways to ensure he stays.

He was in wolf form.

It felt safer, somehow... to him.

He watched her in silence as she fumbled up the first catch, then released her second one-it had been a fox and she had shrieked in horror when she had realised this and the third prey was now being stalked... from the trees. He was far off, watching her down below, watching how she moved deftly from branch to branch, occasionally stopping to push her wild hair from her eyes.

The elk was unassuming, grazing silently and Olivia was... infrequently glancing back up, scouting the side of the rocky snow covered mountain for him-convinced he would leave her once she did bite into the animal. He stuck out easily, seated calmly on a boulder with his fur long and too shiny-courtesy of his conditioning his hair the day before, when he had convinced himself to go out and about in the town and find a girl to love...

Nothing sobers up a man like fear and he had felt just that when she had stalked towards him and pinned him to the ground with those eyes. And he was ashamed that he had hated her in those moments, like he had hated her for licking his neck, for rocking over him and refusing to be forgotten from his mind.

She catches the elk; she bites into the neck-without removing the fur around it like I had instructed her, insolent distracted girl-and drinks. It is repulsive, I can tell from her puckering and narrowed eyes, but she forces the blood down. She doesn't drink even a quarter of what is required of her... dropping the dead elk unsatisfied, her hair a mess and clothes torn and bloodied. She wipes her mouth, looks back up to her Jacob –whom she wants but doesn't necessarily need for anything in her eternity...

Jacob Black hated himself almost as equally as I hated him because he can't forget her, even when he is with other women and even when he is piling the guilt over himself, one shot after the other-she is lodged in his mind and the image of Baby Azure is fading fast. I would have gladly helped him with the self condemnation and masochism... but she seemed to want him around, and I had sworn to myself to do whatever she _needed_ of me.

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**There is a little something between Olivia and Edward, in there. Recall their proper meeting on the boat for a guideline to their relationship... lol. That was, for both Edward and Olivia... their first meeting in a lot of ways.**

**Questions, suggestions, criticism, love and hates are always welcome...**

**Xx**

**Tj.**


	20. Being Human

They were kind enough to hold off the enquiries for a day or two, but of course, when the inquisition came... there would be no holding them back...

"How was it?"

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"How do you feel?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"How...", "How..." and more "How..."'s and my head spins furiously, my heart thumps raggedly and I can feel my blood boil and turn thick and acidic.

"I DON'T WANT TO BLOODY TALK ABOUT IT!"

Xx~xx~xX

X

x

The lounge windows are all shattered, including the giant glass vase and numerous little ceramic urns and the glass covered pictures. Surprisingly, Leah had been quiet the whole time they had bombarded me with their questions; as though my first hunt would have turned me into a full venomed vampire. All it had done was made me realise that vampires had it hard if they had to live on blood alone... especially _elk _blood...

"Olivia...?"  
"Are you going to ask me how it was and how it felt... and whether or not I can sparkle in the sunlight too?" I ask her and she sighs, entering my room and closing the door gently. She is wearing a pink blouse and tight jeans, with boots-way too much clothing for shapeshifters.

"I knew you were dreading it..." Leah sits beside me, tucking her hands between her knees. We sit opposite the large dressing table, opposite the mirror and the difference between us is finally distinctive. I am half thrilled to have an identity outside of 'looking like Leah' but a part of me is sad about it. It's a sign that with looking like 'me' meant becoming 'me' outside of Carlisle and outside of Leah.

I wish I looked fully Quileute. I hate that I know why I wish this... I hate it so much.

_You are hurting me Ollie,_ his voice is loud in my head and I cringe back from it. I cringe back, but I have nowhere to go... it's in my mind and it is in my heart and it hurts all the more because the dream came true. I could see it in his eyes, the hate... the abhorrence and the confusing guilt riddled affection-that love that he had for me from when I was a child. When I would huddle up close to him and listen to his heart beat, when I used to have that gaping loneliness inside of me...

I would gladly swop that odd detachment I had in my childhood; I would swop it for Jacob and I to tumble in the snow and laugh blithely and unhinged.

"You have that look I had once..." Leah whispered, looking at me from the mirror.

"What look?"  
"When I was miserable" she murmured reaching her hand and covering mine with it. I looked down at our hands, her russet to my... white... and the pain and confusion intensified.

"I am not miserable" I said. I didn't know if this was lie or a truth; what was I? What was this feeling...? Jacob Black was not the only breathing and talking being in the world. There were others around me that I could spend every second of my day with and converse with...

I didn't need to miss him and wish he was gone simultaneously.

"So what are you?" she asked me.

"I am..." my heart clenched, her question seemed too personal. "Me" I finished lamely.

"Sure, Olivia... you've always been a bit on the... gloomy side" Leah rolled her eyes "But this is new"

"This is the new me"

"Okay... maybe your hanging around Edward is to blame"  
"Maybe it is..." I said, careful not to point out that Edward's 'gloom and doom' was of a rare kind. Like he had already settled with himself that the world would end and wasn't bothered with panicking about it, but content to just mourn the world's death before it had officially happened.

It was like he was going through the motions...

A part of me felt like Edward was planning to leave, just like Jacob. I could see it in his eyes whenever he dared to mention Volterra; he was terrified of it, of its evils and secrets and his biggest fear was that they would find themselves on our doorstep and we would all know what he had done...

Every shameful thing.

But I could be wrong; Edward had a mind that was creepily complex and riddled with an odd sort of self loathing.

"Right..." Leah sighed "I really thought you and Jacob patching your friendship up would help?"  
"He is leaving us" I whispered and she made no response. She knew... this angered me.

"How can he..." I began and then opted to scowl in the opposite direction to her.

"He isn't leaving _tomorrow_" Leah sighed "He will have to go and find a life of his own, eventually Ollie. _We_ have eternity..."  
"He could have eternity too!" I said desperately.

"He could imprint..." Leah said gently and I cringed "And then what? His imprint would die... he would follow her..."

"He hasn't imprinted..."

"He wants this and as his family, we have to be supportive" she paused, sucking in a breath "Hell, I am happy he has found... well, found something to anchor him. If it were me, I know I would want support"

"Why are you in clothes?"  
"What, I am always..." she tried to lie and then laughed nervously "I thought I could take you out for a coffee. You know, I don't want you and I to have a relationship like my mum and I"

"I thought Sue was great?"  
"Yeah, but I couldn't talk to her... about stuff when I was going through... some serious..."

"Stuff?" I finished and heaved, shaking her head.

"You don't get much of that; going out for coffee's, parties and meeting a few jerks and the sweet guy you'll never notice" she looked off into her recent human past (of course, I was judging her time as a shapeshifter against vampirism), her eyes slightly glassy and a soft smile on her lips.

"You want me to go get drunk one day, do some girly stuff with you-although you yourself are not girly and for me to date a few jerks and ignore any half decent guy?"

"Precisely" she grinned, her large teeth gleaming whiter against the russet of her skin. "I could have let Rosalie cover me with the girly stuff... even Alice... but..."

"Your my mum" I nodded my head "You want the whole... experience"

"For you" she said quickly and then softer "For us" her hot hand rested over mine and squeezed.

"Are you thinking about it?" I asked her softly, my voice struggling to lift into the air "_Them_?"  
"The Volturi?" she asked unafraid. Of course she wouldn't be afraid as I was; she had never met Jane's doe like eyes that should have been shining the innocence of a preadolescent blameless soul but instead shone hate, envy and malevolence to the world around it... that hatred transformed into a weapon in her vampirism. Of course Leah Clearwater could say the word 'Volturi' clearly and indifferently; she had never met the charismatic devil, the benevolent greedy imp... she had never met Aro and felt his odd cold touch, seen a different breed of vampire past her eternal lover and eternal brothers and sisters, adopted children that were decades older than she...

She didn't have the fear but by God she had the knowledge... and she was wise enough to use the theory on the Volturi in use... but what was theory without practical? Here she was, so sweet and adamant to give me something that every little girl should have regardless of their genetics and physical appearance.

Naive Leah, sweet clumsily caring mother...

"I can't have you living like you are in a prison... or an army camp" she scowled "Training, I over did it and now Edward wants to overdo it too"

"Well, I wouldn't say overdo it..." I murmured "More like be thorough about it. You see, Edward knows the danger better than Carlisle does... he had lived it"  
"And so have you" she said stiffly "I guess I understand the strange bonding then..."  
"Nothing like misery to unite difficult people, eh?"

"Well, I still think we can manage some semblance of normalcy" she said stubbornly "I think Jacob has something going on with this whole humanness thing... come on... We need to get lost a bit. Three years of Alaska and I don't know where a single coffee shop is located"

"We may have to sniff it?"  
"Exactly" she wiggled her nose.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**Jacob Black**

**X**

There aren't many things about my life that fill me with instant gratification, and of late, that already dismal number has diminished further.

"A bit scruffy..." Joel was saying, standing absently by the car and swinging his arms. I could see his blue grease and oil smudged overalls from the gap between the bonnet. I wished he would go away, I wished they would all go away and the Workshop would turn back into my little shack and the car I was fixing would be the rabbit... back then, when it was truly miserable and I was in love with a self absorbed teenager.

He was talking about Olivia Cullen, trying to justify how a girl like that could break down our three thousand dollar door-you know, the kind of justification people do to save their minds from working over time. He was trying to put the whole scene into the logic of his reality; but it just wasn't fitting and now his simple mechanic mind wouldn't let go of the matter.

And now, he was constantly talking about the scruffy beauty that had challenged the big bad boss... when all I wanted to do was have an 'Olivia free mind' on this glorious 'Olivia free day'.

"Those eyes... creepy" he was saying, handing me the fifty-two, and taking a seat on the stool, obviously staying longer than what was wanted. "Boss, were did you find her? I thought you like the super model types..."

"She is beautiful" I said automatically, slamming the Mercedes bonnet shut and cringing at the grey patch in its middle... where the wrench had pierced through. It was fixed and would cost me when it was supposed to cost someone else...

Who said living humanly was easier? There were other politics that made chewing on marble ethereal demons seem... better.

"Yeah, no doubt..." he circled his face to illustrate he had noticed her 'pretty face' "But I mean... you know, she is scruffy"

"She's my... sisters..." I tried hard to say the words out but they tasted like bile and felt false in my heart when once they had been entirely true. Joel's raised bump of flesh over his eye-where an eyebrow would have been located-showed me how badly I was attempting to bullshit. "Okay, there is no actual blood relation..."

"Oh, come on... only a woman who has managed to find a man's heart can bring out such an... an... anger" Joel stammered the last bit out, obviously remembering that boiling heat from me; that shadow of the wolf.

"She is a friend" I sighed, sitting on the Mercedes and scowling t the rabbit. In my anger, I had done a botched job of it and would have to start all over again... and of course, as much as I owned the Workshop-I had to let it run professionally instead of taking up space to do my own unpaying projects.

A woman who had found a man's heart, huh? She had found it the moment she had sucked her little thumb, the moment she had yawned and I had seen only two little bottom teeth, the moment she had curled up against me... sobbing and sniffling because she wanted her mother.

Had she found it... or had I naively given it to her, thinking that it would be safe and unused with her? What need did she have of me save for comfort and protection? What was it that she wanted that was more than that, that she was turning my heart over in her little hands and scanning every surface and fibre of the muscle... roving all over, searching and cajoling...

"Dangers things, these beating hearts" I whispered. "I'll get my car moved to my house..."

"House?"  
"I bought a house..." I said "An apartment is too..."

"Bachelor like?" he raised his non-eyebrow (it always made me queasy when he did that) and I rolled my eyes.

"It's for..."

"The blue eyed beauty?" he grinned and I groaned.

"Elsie" I finished "Elsie... my girlfriend..."

"Elsie isn't the blue eyed beauty in an oversized sweater?"

"Do I look like unfashionable girls are my type?"

"I can't really tell what your type is, Boss" he said blankly, looking at my feet "You came in shirtless and barefoot"

Xx~xx~xX

"We need to talk about it, I think..."

Why did women have the urge to talk about everything, and more specifically, talk about it after sex? Not that I was tired... or marginally satisfied, but I would like to take out my frustrations of having to be careful and not... I don't know, a wolf... in my sleep. She curled up closer, leading my arm across her pillow and resting her head on my bicep so I could feel her cool breath moving over my face.

"I said _your_ name..." I whispered, faking a yawn and turning around to kiss her forehead "It's your name, Elsie, that is on my mind all day... every hour and every second"

She blushed. I missed not seeing so well in the dark... and I hated that I was a competent enough 'bullshitter' with the woman I was trying to build a human life with.

"You can be very... insensitive" she tried for upset and came out... giggly. "But I know that's just your nature... you're very rough!"

I wanted to protest that I had been particularly careful and slow with her, with every girl since I had started having sex and after the one incident involving a pulled muscle and sprained wrist. What would the use be though. She liked it rough-or, slow and sensitive 'shapeshifter' style. She just didn't know the latter, and wouldn't admit the initial.

"So what are you going to do with the apartment?" Elsie asked "Is Seth staying there...?"

"Seth's at his sisters" I said tetchily. It was really a silly feeling, but knowing that Seth had been Elsie's initial preference irked me. Seth was sweet, Seth was kind... but Seth was gay and hated my ass.

"How's your niece?" she asked further, going round and round just to get back at me saying another woman's name. Twisting my arm till she had a new wardrobe and ten thousand dinners. "What was her name... she must be what, twelve now?"

"Camille" I said too loudly. "She's not twelve... she was a... late bloomer. She's actually err... seventeen. No, sixteen..."

The maths just refused to compute. How old would she be if Elise saw her when she looked seven?

"Oh, okay then" Elsie breathed "So... who is Olivia?"  
"I am sorry about it" I sighed "Really. I am... an ex... who err, died. You know... lost love and all"

"Do I remind you of her?"

You are nothing like her... that's why you are in my arms.

"Yeah, a little..."

"Jacob, you have to tell me about your life" she snuggled up closer to me "Your past. Everything. I want to know... I want to know about your brother, your sister... you know. Stuff. Especially if you and I are doing this and you are serious about us"

"Sure... sure" I said stiffly, bringing her closer and wrapping an arm over her.

"God, you're hot" she said sleepily.

"Thanks" I had never felt colder inside.

Xx~xx~xX

"Hey..."

"Fancy seeing you at this parts..." I gave him a hard chuckle, unable to stop myself from sneering.

"Jake, come on..." Seth sighed.

"Don't 'Jake come on' me" I snapped, leaving the apartment door open and returning to my packing. He followed me in, closing the door behind him.

"What happened to the old door?" he asked, pointing behind him at the new door.

"Your niece happened" I said "Broke it down to get in... she doesn't seem to understand that when doors are locked, it's to keep people out... not for them to test their strength"

"Yeah, Olivia" he sighed. " You are really serious about this?"  
"Yep"

"Just... you have never been..."

"Resolved?"  
"Well, yes..." he paused "No... I meant..."

"You meant just that, Seth" I sighed "Well, it's nice to see you tolerating the same space as me"

He frowned lightly, folding his arms over his chest and surveying the many boxes packed and haphazardly stacked across the floor.

"I cared about you" he said after a beat. He looked up at me, those large 'Clearwater' shaped eyes imploring me to understand the fact "I _really _cared about you..."

"Cared?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean... past us just..." he pointed from me to him fast, and then stopped the awkward pointing to sigh and huff. "This place has memories" he said instead, defeated.

"Yeah... it does" I sighed "I am not selling it. What harm could there be, you know..."

"To have a place to return to... to escape from living human for a bit?" he said.

"No" I said, but his words seemed appealing "I just... kept it. It's good to own property for... the future. Carlisle told me this"  
"Well, Carlisle is wise" Seth breathed, looking around as though he could see the old memories playing out in the apartment right before his eyes.

"is this you letting me know you and I are cool?" I asked him and he sighed sheepishly.

"I have been behaving immaturely" he said "I mean... I know you need a friend. It's not easy trying to go back to it..."

"To the human life"

"Exactly" he smiled "Not easy, if you aren't imprinted and if you... well, aren't in love"

"You don't know that" I said "Elsie..."  
"I have seen you in love Jacob" Seth kept the understanding old 'sunshine' grin in place "And this here, isn't it. This is _desperation_"

Xx~xx~xX

"Olivia isn't taking it particularly well..." Leah was whispering into the phone. I wondered why she bothered; if Olivia wanted to hear, Olivia would hear... "I think maybe you need to bring her over"

"huh...?"

"Bring Elsie over..." Leah specified, saying it slowly like I had a mental problem.

"No...no..." I was panicking, I didn't know why for a moment then I gave myself the excuse that any dinner party Leah would organise would involve bloodrinking dead beings... because I really cared about Elsie; enough not to want her ending up the dinner.

But this wasn't the reason for my panic. The reason was as simple as the fact that my reality with Elsie was shrouded with half truths and another side of me that the people who did know me, or who thought they knew me, just didn't know about.

And of course, Olivia...

"Yes, yes and yes" Leah sighed "There has been so much change in her life Jake... I just think she is scared of losing you. She thinks that your pursuing a human life would mean that she will lose you... we just need to show her that's not the case. And I mean, she has been hanging around Edward you know... for lessons and all..."

There was a soft but surprised 'hey!' from Leah for a moment and movement before a low weary sigh filtered through from the other end of the phone.

"So, you have taken to gossiping about me with my mother?"

"Olivia..." I breathed, everything inside me clenching in response to her low textured voice.

"How's the..." she paused and when she spoke eventually, her voice was hard and sarcastic "Human adventure?"

"Err..."

"Stumbled over anything?" she asked airily "Voted for something important? Paid some bills..."  
"Vampires pay bills too" I said gruffly "And didn't Emmett vote last year for..."  
"Well, you know they do it for fun"  
"There is nothing fun about having a bad credit record, Olivia... immortal or otherwise"

"Gimme that..." that was Leah and soon, I was saved a strange overworked argument with Olivia over nothing and over everything to do with a simple little dream and an awkward tumble from my bed "Jacob Black"

"Leah Clearwater"

"Leah Cullen" Leah corrected patiently... it seemed every wolf forgot the 'Cullen' part of her. "You'll bring Elsie over for dinner tomorrow night...?"  
"No"

"I think everyone will enjoy that" Leah said, and I was grateful to know that Olivia's hard sarcastic tone was derived genetically rather than from hanging around me "Nothing like a Bella fête to liven the undead..."

"Why do you need me to come there" I sighed "You know I am uneasy around them"  
"You do it deliberately, to remind yourself they are vampires when you forget" she chuckled "Bring her over, it will shame Edward out of his depression..."

"Or move him further into it after I remind him that he is never going to have a chance with a human were as I have it at my finger tips..."  
"And Seth's been all 'Jake and I will never be Batman and Robin' again..."  
"I just saw Seth so that guilt card is invalid"  
"But it would be nice"

"No it won't..." I said stubbornly and five seconds later Olivia echoed her own 'no it won't'.

"Bring her" Leah said with finality "Or else..."  
"Or else what...?" I laughed.

"I know where you live" she said.

"I moved, She Wolf"

"I'll sniff you out... and then you'll be in for it..."

"And then I will be in for it!?" I laughed "You've been sniffing Carlisle's balls again, haven't you?" that garnered a long gagging sound from Olivia "Least you forget, Lee-lee, I have the ability to turn you into a mindless puppy. Now muzzle it... I'll bring the human only if Alice takes Jasper to go and visit the Denali Clan...BYE!"

I cut the phone, an odd smile on my lips before the high of going back to my old 'pre-Olivia-boobies self' abated. Elsie... Olivia... who I had told Elsie was called Camille... in a house... with Seth and Olivia who I had... _had_... weird _encounters_ with... and undead blood drinking sentient beings. I could feel my blood go cold.

"Fuck..."


End file.
